1st Gangbang - Uncomfortable with how she was treated

[midlifecrisis 25]

Hi everyone - I am very new to this lifestyle. Up until a few weeks ago I had only one experience, with a couple. But recently I participated in a gang bang, and while certain parts of it were great, I came away feeling very uncomfortable about how the woman was treated. It started out fine and quite erotic, and the couple hosting seemed like an everyday couple - but by the time we got to "round 2" the way the woman was treated by her partner/husband/significant other had changed. He wrote "wh" and "re" on her two butt cheeks, and started degrading her verbally. We were told to call her "bitch" or "fucktoy". I get it that some people enjoy being degraded, but if I had known this was going to be what the night was about, I would not have joined in. I have an issue treating anyone like that, especially a woman. (I'm currently going through a separation and while there are tense moments, I couldn't even imagine talking about my ex that way!)

 

I'm curious if this is common in these situations - gangbangs. Is it common in the lifestyle? Is there a way to know before going in?

 

It's been close to 2 weeks, and I still feel badly about it. I feel for her, but mostly I'm disgusted at myself for participating and not speaking up. It's scary how fast and strong the libido, combined with group-mentality will take over.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

Is it common to launch a verbal insults during a gang bang? My answer for you is, not usual but not completely unusual. Some women actually groove on this kind of verbal abuse.

 

Because they make you uncomfortable, you should not go again the an event arranged by this particular couple. But you should not feel discouraged to try a gang band by some other couple.

 

Now, I'm going to lend some advise for which you did not ask. Before your separation and divorce are final, you might be giving your spouse a weapon for "taking you to the cleaners" should she decide to bring up your swing activity with an attorney.

 

Wishing you good fortune.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

We've never participated in a gangbang, so can't offer any first hand experience there. I can say that like you, I would have felt uncomfortable in that situation too, even if I felt sure that being treated like that was something that I knew she wanted as part of the experience. It's just too far outside of "me" if that makes any sense. Now, if Mrs. cplnuswing wanted that, then I think I could do it just fine, but that's because I know her really well and so wouldn't have any of those qualms regarding: Is this what she wants, or is this what he wants? Is she really enjoying this, or is she just acting that way? Where's the line?

 

This one is maybe a gray area, but I've always thought that the further away you get from the middle of the road on sex, the more incumbent it is on you to make sure that everyone involved is cool with everything and that get done up front, not during or after. Problem there is what is middle of the road for one is plain vanilla or totally over the top for others, so it's kind of a hard call to make.

 

You also ask is this common in swinging, and to that I do have personal experience, and we've never encountered feeling like we were in a situation like that. So, I would take this as sort of an outlier, and use it as a learning experience to try to feel out a scene a little more before getting involved. Swinging encounters that don't go as well as hoped almost always have an element of lacking or missed communication to them, so don't feel bad, it's not uncommon and it happens to nearly everyone at one time or another.

[Newandnaughty 3]

I get it that some people enjoy being degraded, but if I had known this was going to be what the night was about, I would not have joined in. I have an issue treating anyone like that, especially a woman........... However, I have no problem participating in gang banging said woman. Can’t make this stuff up. ?????

[Billygoat 443]

We have organized and hosted a number of gangbangs, although we had theme names for each event. None of us ever included demeaning or degrading treatment or activities. I do know that others have a variety of different tastes, fewer still create shock/surprise GB and those can turn bad. We always laced out ground rules and selected the males that would attend. It is meant....at least ours to be pleasurable experience, a requested experience for the ladies. Look for those.....

[kittyswinger 260]

We always laced out ground rules and selected the males that would attend.

The reason I'm so scared to join a GB with random strangers. Perhapts it is better if organized by someone who screens the participants, like the abovementioned quote. The only one I tried so far was with 3 guys I personally know.

[Alura 2,774]

My heart is on the ground for this lady.

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

While it is always easy to Monday morning quarterback, when you were there, you could have (and probably should have) asked the woman if she was okay with what was happening. Then there would be no questions now. Some women do enjoy being used as just a 'fuck toy'...it 'excuses' what is happening to them (in their eyes). Ms. Gold, while never having been evolved in a GB, has confessed having a fantasy of just being used by a bunch of men as a fuck toy. She's a submissive and the idea excites her knowing that she is just being used for other men's pleasure...not that she hopes this fantasy comes true, it is just a fantasy.

 

If there is a next time, take the 2 seconds and just ask if the woman is good with what is happening and you will then be guilt free in the future.

[EastInWest 1,524]

Is it common to launch a verbal insults during a gang bang? My answer for you is, not usual but not completely unusual. Some women actually groove on this kind of verbal abuse.

 

I used to hang out with a woman like this who was on her way out of a marriage. Fun girl, but by far the kind of degrading talk that turned her on the most was the idea of being passed around to service my friends.

 

I don't mean after a nice dinner to get to know them better, either. We're well off into borderline non-consensual.

 

OP, I can't fully explain this kink, it's some very complicated dom/sub dynamic, but it's all over the place and nothing to be rough on yourself over. I do agree that if you weren't having a good time, you could definitely have left and wouldn't have been rude at all. Hopefully it was a positive experience - and she was having one, too - in spite of it. Maybe they should have communicated more clearly what type of scene this was going to be.

[shy_couple 459]

We went to a party that turned into a gang bang. Really felt similarly to you.

 

We didn’t know the hosts well. Far too many single men showed up. The house looked like it was between owners/tenants with minimal furnishings. The guys were mostly over machismo, treated the women, at best smugly, at worst with contempt like fuckwhore-toys.

 

We looked in on the action a couple of times thinking it would be hot but girls were handled too roughly, spanked, fucked really hard and aggressively with guys lined up, cheering shouting, calling names.

 

It really disgusted us. We had hoped to sneak into a quiet corner and entertain ourselves but when we saw this, we thanked the host and left.

 

If your gut is telling you that something isn’t right, listen to it.

[Bluespruce1 706]

We have a good friend that is totally into this. She loves the verbal abuse and for the guys to totally use her body. She will take on 6 or 7 guys and let them take turns fucking anything they want. Just her groove - definitely not mine. I love having 3 or 4 guys at a time as long as they treat me like a goddess!

[couplers 4,614]

I've never been involved in anything close to a gangbang, but have one thing to contribute. In our poly family we all have pretty tame respectful sex, except in private between Lora and me. (It disturbs the others.) Every several weeks, while we're alone Lora and I will hurl degrading insults at one another, hit, slap, piss on one another, pull hair, etc. Eventually one of us gives in, submits, and we make tender love. I can't explain it because it is so out of character for both of us, and we wouldn't let anyone else do anything like that to us. So I guess as long as it is consensual, it's ok.

[M1F2KTJ 473]

You are right about the group mentality thing. It applies to pretty much everything.

 

Maybe being degraded was part of her fantasy. I notice that you didn't say she protested.

 

In my fantasies my wife would be gang banged in a very erotic way. But in reality you can't control the personalities of everyone. You and her should be prepared for that. Of course violence would not be allowed.

[NWAtlSwing 522]

We do gangbangs, but have respectly guys who cherish and are loving. She likes getting guys off. If I called my wife a slut, she'd slap me. I would not want to do that with any woman.

[LecrameMark 15]

Don't worry buddy, that is normal verbal expression, don't worry.

[twohots4u2 188]

We disagree that it was normal verbal expression. We select the folks we swing with, including the situations where she want to take on a number of guys. in our correspondence related to inviting the guys, we emphasize that we expect she and I be treated with respect. Anything less and they are out.

[padoc 1,703]

Words mean things. Often in a "gang"bang you get exactly that, gang behavior on the part of the men. Human beings recognize relative safety in numbers and also non-accountability in a group activity, that's how riots happen along with other forms of aberrant behavior. What the OP described is illustrative of the point. Mrs Doc has enjoyed multiple partners (3,4,5)on occasion but none of the men were random guys picked off a website. They were respectful and attentive to her not to their dicks and it was fun to watch and participate unlike the scene described above.

[adamgunn 1,460]

PaDoc, I agree with you. My wife has, very occasionally, gotten into the mood at house parties where we were comfortable and let it be known that anyone who had a desire was welcome. Her maximum in one night was about seven or eight, I think. But because it was a social event where most people knew each other, there weren't any problems at all.

 

She never had any desire to open herself up in the common room at our Swing Club. She felt it wasn't 'controllable' - her word. The few times she was into more than an MFM in that situation, we'd get a few guys we trusted into a private room.

[Bluespruce1 706]

Same - I'm fine if we bring a few guys that I know and trust along with a couple of newbies in a private room or home. I like to know that things won't get out of hand. I've had as many as 10 guys taking turns and pushing me to my limits no problems. I usually regret it for the next couple of days but it's great in the moment. My husband also knows when it's time to call off the bulls.

[PebblesCanDo 45]

So...how do you organize a gang bang? Research ya know!

[jeff111 44]

Same - I'm fine if we bring a few guys that I know and trust along with a couple of newbies in a private room or home. I like to know that things won't get out of hand. I've had as many as 10 guys taking turns and pushing me to my limits no problems. I usually regret it for the next couple of days but it's great in the moment. My husband also knows when it's time to call off the bulls.

 

Do you call it off because it becomes physically too demanding or emotionally too draining, or...?

[samandtammi 99]

It's interesting that this topic just came up. We were in a swing club recently and two things caught our attention. One was a couple where a man was leading his wife around on a leash. She was dressed in head to toe latex, including a hat. In the play area, he toook up an entire corner of a large playspace and basically had her on display while he "played" with her. He was intent on others watching and he was quite rough. It was very hard to watch and harder to understand why she would enjoy this.

 

Seconde thing was a couple also taking up a lot of space and she was giving him a blowjob. She picked her head up to say something to him and he smacked her across the face so hard you could hear it in the next room. He then grabbed her by the hair and pushed her back down to continue giving him a blow job. My husband and I wondered if we (or anyone else) should or would say something but nobody did.

 

Should we have asked her if she was ok? I had hoped security would ask but it's possible they were unaware... Is this actually enjoyable to someone?

[couplers 4,614]

.. basically had her on display while he "played" with her...

This I can understand. I have been both the one "on display" as one of the guys or women have played with me, and done the opposite with a guy or girl by taking control. In having sex, one person has to take the lead, and if other people are around, it can turn into a performance. It can be fun for both the performers and audience.

 

.. Seconde thing was a couple also taking up a lot of space and she was giving him a blowjob. She picked her head up to say something to him and he smacked her across the face so hard you could hear it in the next room. He then grabbed her by the hair and pushed her back down to continue giving him a blow job..

I never thought that I would be into this in a million years, but somehow Lora and I like to do this occasionally. It upsets the others, so we only get the chance when we're alone.

 

It started for us because we are both competing for David and there is jealousy being worked out. (We never had such feeling between us with the other men we shared/share, including Lora's ex-husband.) We start by fighting, including as much verbal abuse as we can think of, hair-pulling, slapping, wrestling, until one becomes dominant and one of us submissive (it's about 50/50). We never hit on the face, but on the ass, and slap other parts of the body. Whoever becomes the dominant one will pee on the other, etc. It always ends however, with us finger fucking and 69ing. Afterwards we're real nice to one another.

[EastInWest 1,524]

Seconde thing was a couple also taking up a lot of space and she was giving him a blowjob. She picked her head up to say something to him and he smacked her across the face so hard you could hear it in the next room. He then grabbed her by the hair and pushed her back down to continue giving him a blow job. My husband and I wondered if we (or anyone else) should or would say something but nobody did.

 

Should we have asked her if she was ok? I had hoped security would ask but it's possible they were unaware... Is this actually enjoyable to someone?

 

In my opinion, unless there was a sign that she was not OK - like visible distress or non-playful resistance - no, I wouldn't want to intervene. Now if somebody was crying or something? Sure.

 

So many women really do enjoy this. The second woman I was ever involved with would intentionally pick fights to get me pissed off before she started coming on to me so that it would be extra rough. Getting slapped for trying to talk during a blowjob was exactly the kind of thing she would have liked, although I don't think that specific thing ever happened.

[Anon321 521]

It's interesting that this topic just came up. We were in a swing club recently and two things caught our attention. One was a couple where a man was leading his wife around on a leash. She was dressed in head to toe latex, including a hat. In the play area, he toook up an entire corner of a large playspace and basically had her on display while he "played" with her. He was intent on others watching and he was quite rough. It was very hard to watch and harder to understand why she would enjoy this.

 

Seconde thing was a couple also taking up a lot of space and she was giving him a blowjob. She picked her head up to say something to him and he smacked her across the face so hard you could hear it in the next room. He then grabbed her by the hair and pushed her back down to continue giving him a blow job. My husband and I wondered if we (or anyone else) should or would say something but nobody did.

 

Should we have asked her if she was ok? I had hoped security would ask but it's possible they were unaware... Is this actually enjoyable to someone?

 

Yes my GF LOVES this kind of stuff. We have regular sex but because I know she likes it rough I will up my dominance game and get rough with her like slapping her across the face, pulling her hair and verbally degrading her but I just cannot take it to the level that other guys take it to with her. They say really horrible things, slap her extremely hard, choke her, spit on her, etc etc. I've stepped in quite a few times to make sure she was OK and she always says she is and continues forward. I am not always around when she is fucking other guys so sometimes it does make me a little worried if she is OK but she is a grown woman who makes her own decisions when it comes to that. I've tried to understand this and the way she kind of explains it to me is that it's not just the idea of being submissive that gets her off but what I view as her being subject to acts of serious pain she feels it as 15% pain and 85% pleasure and it is ONLY pleasurable when it is in the act or related to the act of sex.

 

I actually came across this thread because my GF and I were talking about setting up a gangbang and I was wondering about this exact same thing - that if we brought in an outsider or 2 out of the regulars, how do you explain this to them? When it's one on one she is usually very straightforward beforehand in person about how she likes it rough and she continues telling them throughout sometimes if she wants it rougher. If they're no good or don't deliver on the level she wants then it is no big deal and we just move on. But if we have a gangbang and my buddies start running the show with the really rough stuff out of the gate I think we'll scare people off like OP.

 

I do agree with a lot of people on here that if things are uncomfortable for you than you do not have to participate. You are free to walk away or stay back. And that is my GFs attitude about it as well.

[enhancer 1,584]

Unfortunately this is how gangbangs are always seen in porn so it is what most guys going into it are going to expect! When is the last time you have seen a gangbang porn where it was all about the woman getting the goddess treatment instead of being treated like a piece of meat.

 

This is why the missus would never entertain the thought of being in this situation. She has no interest in being slapped around, having her hair pulled, spit on and used up like she isn’t human. I get that some women like this and that is their choice, but it is not something that interests me at all. I respect women far to much to hit them.

 

It is too bad, because I would love to share her with a group of men that interested her, but I know it would not end up making either of happy when this is the expectations men have going in.

[PeterJ 940]

Unfortunately this is how gangbangs are always seen in porn so it is what most guys going into it are going to expect! When is the last time you have seen a gangbang porn where it was all about the woman getting the goddess treatment instead of being treated like a piece of meat.

 

I've only once participated in a real gang bang - guys lined up to have a turn with a woman - but in this instance at least all the men were fully respectful of the woman. It was in a play room at a club. I had met the couple earlier in the evening in a social area, and they both seemed nice and happily connected with one another. There was no mention at that time of plans for a gangbang.

 

Later in the evening, after playing with a couple of other women, including my date for the evening, my date and I wondered into a play room where the gangbang was taking place. My date, who was extremely nearsighted and really didn't perceive what was happening on the other side of the room, found a guy to suck. I got in line, with about four or five guys ahead of me. The woman was on her back on a bed, but surrounded on both sides by a couple of men who were verbally supportive of her, almost like attendants. Between episodes of intercourse they would offer her water and check how she was doing. Her husband, standing at the foot of the bed did offer verbal encouragement to the men, asking each to "fuck her good" or similar. Each of the guys ahead of me finished pretty quickly, maybe two or three minutes each.

 

I clearly recall when it was my turn one of the guys closest to her on the bed asked if she was ready for another round, and she nodded affirmatively and took a drink of water that was offered her. I slid between her legs and entered her pussy. I didn't hold back my orgasm at all, came quickly and withdrew. By this time there were another half-dozen guys in line. I have no idea how many men this woman entertained in the evening, but for the time I was there it was clear that all of us there were participants in a scene meant to gratify this couple.

[fwblondon 19]

Not our style but we have seen a variety of gangbangs at Toronto sex clubs. Never participated but they ranged from sensual to the same as what you describe in the original post. The girls all seemed to enjoy the style of each particular gangbang. I would hope for her sake this was a turn on for her and not just the guy being super disrespectful.

[Sawman 84]

How are couples organizing gang bangs in the post-Craigs List era? I have been to several and organized two.

[Anon321 521]

Unfortunately this is how gangbangs are always seen in porn so it is what most guys going into it are going to expect! When is the last time you have seen a gangbang porn where it was all about the woman getting the goddess treatment instead of being treated like a piece of meat.

 

This is why the missus would never entertain the thought of being in this situation. She has no interest in being slapped around, having her hair pulled, spit on and used up like she isn’t human. I get that some women like this and that is their choice, but it is not something that interests me at all. I respect women far to much to hit them.

 

It is too bad, because I would love to share her with a group of men that interested her, but I know it would not end up making either of happy when this is the expectations men have going in.

 

I agree with this, especially with the idea of them getting this from porn. My GF is really into this extreme degradation and humiliation stuff and I am not. However, I have noticed that a lot of the guys she has had sex with (including some of my closest friends) are really into this kind of play as well. I usually see it as verbal and physical abuse but my GF and them see if differently and I am trying to understand it better.

 

We are a younger couple and I believe porn has become significantly more extreme and violent over the years and it has had an impact on real life sex. I can tell you that younger guys are really getting off on dominating women in bed in some cases in what I would consider fairly extreme acts. Take facefucking for example. I feel like this has become a normal sexual activity now. I love getting a good deepthroat but the idea of fucking someone's throat until they puke is not a turn on to me - but it is for my GF and a lot of guys I know. And the porn they watch is all extreme stuff. I see them pull up the clips on their phones and show us the things they want to do to my GF. I say to each their own. If my GF is enjoying it then that is all I care about. But there has definitely been a major change in young people's sex life and I really think porn has contributed to it.

[Guest]

Take facefucking for example. I feel like this has become a normal sexual activity now. I love getting a good deepthroat but the idea of fucking someone's throat .

 

I found this interesting. We’re not “a younger couple” but this is something I enjoy. We picked up a guy, a conventioneer, at a bar one night as we had several times before and ended up in his room for what I thought would be MFM. By the time my husband came out of the rest room, Joe had me lying on the couch, him on top of me, in essence me trapped in the back corner of the couch, me sucking him originally but him now face fucking me by any definition. Although we were in a 69 position, he was doing nothing to me, no licking, no fingering, just pumping his dick down by throat, me making some gags and gurgles. When my husband saw it, he suggested to joe that I love being licked and we would all have a much hotter night if he did so. Still, all he heard back was my gurgles and gags and so he broke it up, we left. On the way home, I found myself saying, don’t do that unless I use the secret word. Sometime I like it like that. I enjoy being taken, I enjoy just being a nasty girl. The thing is, after that, my husband got much better about letting lose on occasion and treating me like that nasty girl, giving it to me rough.

[Anon321 521]

I found this interesting. We’re not “a younger couple” but this is something I enjoy. We picked up a guy, a conventioneer, at a bar one night as we had several times before and ended up in his room for what I thought would be MFM. By the time my husband came out of the rest room, Joe had me lying on the couch, him on top of me, in essence me trapped in the back corner of the couch, me sucking him originally but him now face fucking me by any definition. Although we were in a 69 position, he was doing nothing to me, no licking, no fingering, just pumping his dick down by throat, me making some gags and gurgles. When my husband saw it, he suggested to joe that I love being licked and we would all have a much hotter night if he did so. Still, all he heard back was my gurgles and gags and so he broke it up, we left. On the way home, I found myself saying, don’t do that unless I use the secret word. Sometime I like it like that. I enjoy being taken, I enjoy just being a nasty girl. The thing is, after that, my husband got much better about letting lose on occasion and treating me like that nasty girl, giving it to me rough.

 

I agree that you have to leave it in the hands of the woman to decide what is too far. We had a similar problem like that when we started but now I let me GF decide when too far is actually too far for her. And I'm not saying facefucking is a bad thing. My GF LOVES getting facefucked. She would MUCH rather have a guy shove his cock down her throat and start thrusting than give a slow sensual blowjob. As gross as it sounds, I have seen my GF vomit on several occasions from getting facefucked and it turns the guys on more and she just keeps going. I don't think you see this kind of stuff in classic porn but it's pretty prevalent in the stuff today.

[couplers 4,614]

I agree that you have to leave it in the hands of the woman to decide what is too far...

None of us go for that face-fucking shit, but I agree it should be a decision for the woman.

 

Lora and I do the SM stuff I described above, and we thought it would be great having David participate. We had ideas that we wanted to try while he was there. But David was turned off by Lora and I getting verbally abusive and "violent" (his words) with each other, so we haven't asked him again. But I still fantasize about having David fuck me doggy while I slap Lora's ass, pull her hair, hit her back with a switch.

[Eddiem 139]

I agree... that was not a good experience especially first. we were at a club once and another couple came over, we played, during the sex he was fucking my so and then called her his slut, whore and wanted to fuck a baby into her. Slammed on the breaks. I thought about breaking his neck. His wife got off on it and actually did not want sex just wanted to hear him degrade others. Reported them and they were tossed as they were known predators.

[Anon321 521]

On 5/29/2020 at 6:11 AM, Eddiem said:

I agree... that was not a good experience especially first. we were at a club once and another couple came over, we played, during the sex he was fucking my so and then called her his slut, whore and wanted to fuck a baby into her. Slammed on the breaks. I thought about breaking his neck. His wife got off on it and actually did not want sex just wanted to hear him degrade others. Reported them and they were tossed as they were known predators.

My GF loves being degraded like that especially by other guys.  She has a very deep submissive fetish.  It's actually kind of weird because she doesn't like to tell guys that she likes to be degraded and humiliated she just wants them to read it from her and then act upon it.  It can be a little uncomfortable because depending on the situation I try to tell the guys beforehand or I'll try to act dominant towards her in front of them by slapping her, calling her a whore, cunt, etc. and then hoping they'll follow along.  But a lot of guys are not just going to willfully act upon it (although several have) because of fearing the exact situation you described which I think makes sense.

[twohots4u2 188]

I have hosted a number of gang bangs but the ground rules always have been that the woman has to be treated with respect.  So far no one has violate that rule.

[Deadeye 24]

No my first time was a 23 blond I met just hours before . she ask if i wanted to fuck . She took me to her appartment and her girlfriend join in . WOW"  then she said want to come to a party. Sure. Me and two tall beautiful blonds walked into a private appartment. It was all swingers . I fucked the girlfriend and two men fuck her. Then they mingled . We went back to her appartment and fuck her cum filled pussy. She push me down I eat her . She said your going to be my new boyfriend. A years later we were married. That was 1977 . After 5 years and 300 sex partners later we divorced 

[Deadeye 24]

On 6/3/2019 at 3:57 AM, kittyswinger said:

The reason I'm so scared to join a GB with random strangers. Perhapts it is better if organized by someone who screens the participants, like the abovementioned quote. The only one I tried so far was with 3 guys I personally know.

My 30 went to the anchor lounge. Found 5 sailors . said to them I and my husband said I can have a Gangbang it's my 35 birthday today. I have a motel room do you guys want to fuck me.  7pm be there I will be there with my husband he will greet you at the door. All five of you cum . They were all good looking men I said have fun make her enjoy it . They became her regular fuck buddies at our house . two of them were bi so that want a plus for me . 

[couplers 4,614]

On 1/22/2021 at 8:25 PM, Deadeye said:

We went back to her appartment and fuck her cum filled pussy. She push me down I eat her . She said your going to be my new boyfriend. A years later we were married.

It's weird, but I find these kind of stories romantic.

 

On 1/22/2021 at 8:25 PM, Deadeye said:

After 5 years and 300 sex partners later we divorced 

I am sorry to hear that.  Why did it happen?

[Numex 2,409]

On 5/31/2020 at 12:33 PM, Anon321 said:

She has a very deep submissive fetish.  It's actually kind of weird because she doesn't like to tell guys that she likes to be degraded and humiliated she just wants them to read it from her and then act upon it. 

That's another advantage of us being in a group of regulars, everyone has figured out everyone else's kinks and they can get right to it when the mood hits.  Perhaps she should have a FB who understands her and can satisfy her kink rather than figuring it out with new guys all the time. 

 

BTW, you should marry this woman.  She has a good attitude.  

Edited January 31, 2021 by Numex

[Anon321 521]

19 hours ago, Numex said:

That's another advantage of us being in a group of regulars, everyone has figured out everyone else's kinks and they can get right to it when the mood hits.  Perhaps she should have a FB who understands her and can satisfy her kink rather than figuring it out with new guys all the time. 

 

BTW, you should marry this woman.  She has a good attitude.  

She has a couple of regulars who she has great sexual chemistry that can fulfill those desires for her.  I actually prefer it that way because when you're dealing with that sort of aggressive sexual play I think it's safer for her to be with guys she knows and trusts.  One of them is my best friend who I've known almost my entire life.  It feels very natural watching them together which can almost be scary but we both trust him.  But the intensity between them is off the charts.  Another is her boss who she has great sexual chemistry with as well although it feels less natural and more theatrical when seeing them together.  And of course there are some others that come and go.

[couplers 4,614]

On 11/8/2019 at 4:24 PM, Anon321 said:

how do you explain this to them?

She has to be the one to explain it to them, otherwise there is a strong chance it won't be believed.  Perhaps one of her regulars could demonstrate (or she could show a video) of what is likes and expects. 

[Anon321 521]

6 minutes ago, couplers said:

She has to be the one to explain it to them, otherwise there is a strong chance it won't be believed.  Perhaps one of her regulars could demonstrate (or she could show a video) of what is likes and expects. 

I agree that it should come from her but she doesn't like to come forward with it.  She is not a shy person but she doesn't like to come forward about her sexual submissive nature.  When she originally told me she liked rough sex I took it to mean she liked her hair pulled and ass slapped but even I never fully understood how much she was into rough sex and being dominated and humiliated sexually until I saw her ex fuck her,  After that we had a conversation about it and I could tell she felt a little uncomfortable about it.  She had no problem with me watching her and her ex engage in extremely rough sex but felt awkward when explaining to me why and how she enjoys it so much.

[couplers 4,614]

4 minutes ago, Anon321 said:

she doesn't like to come forward with it.

Well, it does need to be communicated if she wants to get to what she wants.  Again, perhaps you two show a video, while you explain, she nods eagerly in agreement?

[Anon321 521]

9 minutes ago, couplers said:

Well, it does need to be communicated if she wants to get to what she wants.  Again, perhaps you two show a video, while you explain, she nods eagerly in agreement?

We've done that before and found it to be pretty effective but it's a little awkward if you're new to the person and she hasn't had sex with them before. You're almost afraid of shocking them away or something.

[couplers 4,614]

16 minutes ago, Anon321 said:

You're almost afraid of shocking them away or something.

Well, it's shock or disappointment, take your choice.

[Anon321 521]

49 minutes ago, couplers said:

Well, it's shock or disappointment, take your choice.

I agree.  But I also think there is a certain level of trust on both sides in that type of sex.  Obviously the woman has to trust the guy who is dominating her and the guy has to trust that this is what the woman actually wants and isn't going to freak out or call the cops or something on him.  So I think it just naturally takes time to get there sometimes.  I have seen some guys who are quite good with it from the start and jump in head first but others need a little bit of time to get there.

[herpob 563]

On 9/2/2020 at 1:50 AM, twohots4u2 said:

I have hosted a number of gang bangs but the ground rules always have been that the woman has to be treated with respect.  So far no one has violate that rule.

SEEEEEE - It is possible to treat a female with respect even if a bunch of you guys are banging our brains out!  I have been in many rooms where the sex was intense, the sex talk was intense, and yet there was still no degrading. Yet is it still Super Hot!!!

[Shaul.Kassia 21]

It is necessary to know the partners of the game before engaging in such adventures: to establish basic rules of conduct. Without these previous attitudes any sexual act  of this kind - not only gangbang -can become even dangerous.

[couplers 4,614]

On 11/15/2019 at 9:14 AM, PeterJ said:

Each of the guys ahead of me finished pretty quickly, maybe two or three minutes each.

To each their own, but this is another reason gangbangs don't appeal to me.  First, I don't fantasize about stranger sex; I want the guys to ejaculate inside me bareback; I want more than two or three minutes (exceptions for those morning quickies).  So two guys who can go half to three-quarters hour each and leave their sperm in my vagina is great. 

 

In a theoretical sense, however, I can see the appeal of satisfying more guys and having what they leave behind. 

Edited May 5, 2021 by couplers