She decided to stop lifestyle

[BLcucke 19]

Hi to all readers. After we went out with a great African American bull yesterday, she decided we should consider that experience as the first and last time of our lifestyle! I would have understood her request if she hadn’t have fun and an enjoyable night, but she had a great sexy night and she came in all different positions she had. She had 9 full orgasms even she did anal. The point I need you to understand she was really in the mood of the lifestyle, but right away after we left the hotel she’s like I’m done I just wanted to try it once and that’s it!! I love cuckolding her and cuckold just makes our relationship hotter cause we both love the lifestyle. If she doesn’t she wouldn’t have cum 9 times, right? So now for me I don’t know what to do or how to understand why she’s made that decision. Any one can give me an advice or suggestions? Thanks

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

Give her time to absorb. And while it is absorbing, try to not make this all about you.

[NC_Seniors 518]

You say that she “just wanted to try it once and that’s it!!” What’s hard to understand about that? People do all kinds of things once and don’t care to do them again.

 

You say that you “love cuckolding her” ... but does she love being cuckolded? Sounds like she doesn’t and that maybe she did it only for you ... not for herself.

 

You say you “both love the lifestyle” ... but do you? Or is this something she’s doing only reluctantly?

 

You say you “don’t know what to do or how to understand why she’s made that decision”. There’s nothing you CAN do if this is her decision. It doesn’t matter whether you understand it or not.

 

Have to agree with SW_PA_ Couple ...it sounds like you think the only feelings that matter here are yours!

[shy_couple 459]

You say that she “just wanted to try it once and that’s it!!” What’s hard to understand about that? People do all kinds of things once and don’t care to do them again.

 

You say that you “love cuckolding her” ... but does she love being cuckolded? Sounds like she doesn’t and that maybe she did it only for you ... not for herself.

 

You say you “both love the lifestyle” ... but do you? Or is this something she’s doing only reluctantly?

 

You say you “don’t know what to do or how to understand why she’s made that decision”. There’s nothing you CAN do if this is her decision. It doesn’t matter whether you understand it or not.

 

Have to agree with SW_PA_ Couple ...it sounds like you think the only feelings that matter here are yours!

 

Agreed.

 

Were you ever in “The Lifestyle?” Or was this just living out a fantasy?

 

Sounds like there is (or was) a different perspective from each of you. It may be a matter of being honest with eachother going in.

 

To share a personal story about our first time at a swing club; both of us were intrigued but nervous and hesitant. We both thought going in, it would be incredibly hot or would gross us out. (We were too shy or nervous to attempt a b hookup and just played together in a semi-public room) in the end we shared our thoughts, and were did. not have the feelings that we expected and instead were intrigued and wanted to see and experience more.

 

Sw_PA may be right and she needs time to digest and the two of you may need some time to discuss honestly and openly without either pushing a personal agenda.

 

How many orgasms she had isn’t as relevant as her feelings. She could have had a great time in the moment and decided that it was checked off her bucket list and didn’t want it again. But more realistically, she may be wrestling with some strong mental, emotional, moral, and/or religious issues. Not to mention that she may realize that you may want a payback or tit for tat, and have a woman and she has jealousy or trust issues and feels the need to stop before she gets into something she can’t handle.

 

Talk it out.....And listen.

[Numex 2,420]

... try to not make this all about you.

Great advice, and for life in general, not just for the lifestyle.

[BLcucke 19]

Give her time to absorb. And while it is absorbing, try to not make this all about you.

I think you’re right, I will wait to see what she’s going to say after awhile. Thanks

[BLcucke 19]

Give her time to absorb. And while it is absorbing, try to not make this all about you.

That’s what I’m going to do. Will give her the time she needs and will not discuss anything till I feel some changes from her end. Thanks

[couplers 4,647]

.. So now for me I don’t know what to do or how to understand why she’s made that decision. Any one can give me an advice or suggestions?

Don't try to understand it.

Tell her that you love her and leave the door open, not only to what you did, but to other scenarios. Maybe she doesn't want a "bull", or you watching or any number of things. Maybe she is looking for a sensitive white guy to play with in the afternoon when she feels like it. Put your wife first, not your fantasies.

[MarniJohn 172]

This sounds like my first husband. I went along into the lifesylte to appease him. I did not really have any interest. (This is a long time ago). When we first explored a swing club, I enjoyed the atmosphere and so we returned often until we spent most Saturday nights. What started off as the two of us playng, expanded to trying other things. Then he was pushing me with single guys. First one, then two, then he tried for four and that's when I told him I was not interested in the lifestyle anymore. He couldn't believe it! "But you love it! You enjoyed playing with all those men so muuch!" No, he enjoyed my playing with those men so much, I felt like a dirty whore. It was an inner turmoil for me that was hard to deal with. We took time off from the lifestyle and I explained that if we were to return, it was on my terms.

She needs time to digest what she did. Even if it was her idea, you don't know what she feels inside. Don't push.