Had our first threesome finally - what next?

[akkijenny 16]

Hi friends,

 

We are a married couple and had our first MMF couple of days back, I would like to share the experience (for newbies) and get advice on the next steps (from experienced ones).

 

For context, We are 29m 26f, married for 2 years. We come from a conservative background and have been talking about threesome/swap for last few months. It was my (the guy) idea and my wife was hesitant about it. Took a few months to convince and make her willing to try at least. We met couple of guys casually 3-4 months back but didn't work out.

 

Then we connected with a guy 2 months back, (Mr. A) on Tinder, I let my wife chat from her account to get comfortable. We did video chat couple of times. Finally we planned to have a casual meet in a park near our home and thought that based on that meet we will have fun meet immediately or some other time.

 

So the day came. The guy came over near our home in a public park. We three talked casually. And also about expectations that we are new and not looking for anything rough/kinky. The guy was decent and agreed to everything that my wife was or was not comfortable with. Then we took the next big step immediately and decided to bring him home. Here is how things happened:

 

We sat on the couch, wife between me and guy, all wearing clothes. I had imagined to start on couch some kissing and rubbing but my wife was super nervous at that time and was not comfortable in doing something on couch in front of the guy. So I proposed that Me and wife go in the bedroom, start something and then call the guy in the room. Wife agreed for it.

 

Now me and wife are in the bedroom and the guy in another room. We both start playing slowly and I make her topless. She also starts playing with my cock and I get completely nude. After couple of minutes I ask her if we should call the guy in. She says ok and then I call the guy in.

 

Wife is sitting on bed with legs down and I am standing while she plays with my cock. The guy comes in, takes off his pants and gets nude as well. He sits on the other side and wife plays with his cock with her other hand. I ask her if she would like to suck but she says no. She's a bit shy even in watching the guy's cock. Meanwhile we keep asking her if she is comfortable and she everytime says yes she is fine. Then I ask the guy to play with her a bit. He touches her boobs while I remove her shorts and panties. Then she lies on bed and the guy starts fingering her. She keeps sucking my cock meanwhile. This entire thing happens for around 5 minutes.

 

Then I ask her if the guy should fuck her now, she says yes. The guy starts fucking in missionary while she holds my cock with her hand. After 2-3 minutes she feels pain so I ask her to be on top of him. In that position the fucking happens for another 2-3 minutes maybe. We keep asking her if she is comfortable meanwhile. Then the guy switches to Missionary again and after 2-3 minutes fucking, wife is I guess tired and wants to stop. So we ask him to cum and the guy cums while fucking her. Then I fuck her for 1-2 minutes and cum as well. Wife goes to bathroom for change and all wear clothes.

 

NOW, since you have the entire story I would like to get your opinion on:

 

1) After seeing off the guy, I ask wife on how did she like it. Her first response was 'it was ok' but she would not do it again. I dug deeper into what she liked and didn't. She didn't like the fact that I was not participating a lot. She liked getting fucked for 7-8 minutes. I do not last long and before this she was only fucked for 2 minutes maximum at one time. I could see on her face that she was getting satisfied while having that long a fuck and would love her to get such fuck more often.

 

How should we proceed? Should I convince her to meet with same guy again (because we are comfortable with him) or find a new guy (start from scratch).

 

2) The entire session was 20-25 minutes. Is it normal? One thing my wife said later was that we got nude and started sex very quickly. There should be environment and all set. How can we increase the overall playtime so that it seems more natural to her?

 

3) Should we do more MMF first before bring a couple/girl between us?

 

I would really appreciate if you have any other comments on how things happened for us and where should we improve.

[adamgunn 1,460]

The impression I get is that your wife did it because you wanted it, and didn't really enjoy it.

 

She said "she would not do it again." Respect that. Tell her if she ever wants to try something like that you'd be happy to, but that you respect her wishes. Don't push, and definitely don't try to 'convince her.'

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

First, give her time. It sounds like what Adam said and she only did it to please you. Give her time to digest what happened and realize that there are no negatives coming from you. Make sure that she knows that you appreciate her even doing this but that if she doesn't want to do it again, you are fine with that and will not hold it against her. Fix your communication and make sure she knows she can be totally open with you (it sounds like she is holding back to make you happy). She may very well not ever want to do this again...some people are not 'built' for swinging. It could also take awhile and then she may choose to try it again as well, but DON'T pressure her or make her do anything she isn't comfortable with. Let her bring it back up again (if she ever decides to). She gave you a gift, accept it as that and value what she has give you. If she wants to give you another gift is totally up to her.

[Jane1902 476]

If she does decide she wants to do it again I would ask her does she want the same guy. In general I recommend a first meeting be just that. It gives the two of you more time to talk about just what you want. It also helps vet the flakes/fakes/freaks.

For me what is missing from your scenario is the sense of being seduced. I love two men massaging me at the same time, getting me even more excited. Sounds like when she is having sex with the other man she wants you touching her too.

[akkijenny 16]

If she does decide she wants to do it again I would ask her does she want the same guy. In general I recommend a first meeting be just that. It gives the two of you more time to talk about just what you want. It also helps vet the flakes/fakes/freaks.

For me what is missing from your scenario is the sense of being seduced. I love two men massaging me at the same time, getting me even more excited. Sounds like when she is having sex with the other man she wants you touching her too.

 

Yes, she wants me to be with her. And I kept touching her. Perhaps she wanted more involvement. Based on suggestions above though, looks like I should not bring up the topic at all for some weeks now.

[padoc 1,703]

Jane is absolutely right. As described, this was a purely mechanical exercise. There was no sense of adventure, seduction, or the erotic. I suspect the pain you referred to was dryness. Hence the conclusion that for your wife, this 3-some was less a turn on than a chore. For a 3-some to be successful, the woman needs to be the center of attention and the focus of almost everything the men do. It should be erotic and arousing to her and what you described clearly wasn't. You and the other guy need to up your game if she ever gives you another chance at this.

[Newandnaughty 3]

I’d let her, and you also, let the whole experience register. Think about what you liked/disliked and have your wife do the same. Sit down, pour yourselves a drink or two and have a long talk. You’ll know by the end of the chat whether to try again or pack it up and revisit it in the future or never again. Our first experience was also a MFM, much easier to find than couples or unicorns. We decided we wanted to try the lifestyle and didn’t have that first experience for another 6 months. We read everything we could to prepare, including plenty of threads on this board. Being semi prepared was a huge help. Met a guy on sls, wife kik’d with him for a couple weeks and we decided to meet at a hotel. Met at the hotel bar to make sure he was who he said he was, 15 minutes of small talk and headed to his room. Really wasn’t too awkward, we knew why we were going there. Within 10 seconds of entering the room he was making out with my wife. We took turns kissing and undressing her while we undressed ourselves. He got in the bed and she started blowing him, I took her from behind. We switched back and forth a few times with her taking turns blowing us and taking the other from the back. I came first and he came about 5 minutes later. Wife went to the bathroom to clean up and get dressed, came out, gave a goodnight kiss, he said thank you and we were on our way. Whole episode in the room was about an hour and a half start to finish. We talked about it right away, but we had the long talk a couple days later. Came to the conclusion that this is something we equally enjoy. It’s the ultimate team sport! If the two of you aren’t on the same page it’s probably best to hold off until you are.

[akkijenny 16]

Hi people, so my wife has agreed to give it another try with the same guy. I would really like to have your advice on how to do the threesome best this time around. Should we watch porn together first before doing sex. Anything specific you suggest to make it more erotic and comfortable for the wife?

[shy_couple 459]

Sounds like the whole first experience was rushed and awkward and not sure you should be in a rush to repeat.

 

However, with that being said, this shouldn’t be treated like a quickie before the kids wake up. Should be a new experience with lots of foreplay. What furs your wife on? Does your friend have any skills (massage, cunnilingus, etc.) That has been enjoyed by other lovers?

 

She is the princess in this situation. She should be the center of attention. She doesn’t want to get naked, get ponder 2-3 minutes, flip over, do it 2-3 more minutes, the both of you hurry up and cum. WTF?

 

Also, sounds like you may have been “directing a scene” that was a fantasy or something in your head. Let it happen organically with her understanding that she is in full control of stop, go, wait, no, and so on. When she says she hurts (physically, mentally, or emotionally) don’t take the attitude that she has to finish you both off quickly.

 

Porn? Maybe. Does she enjoy that? For us it’s more about a couple of drinks, some casual conversation, leading to flirting, leading to sexy talk, and leading to clothes flying. We rarely meet couples or single without 3-4 hours to warm up, play, and then some wind down time. But that may be just us.

[lcmim 1,083]

From our perspective a MFM threesome is a dance with three partners. When it works well each of the two guys can dance with the lady and around the current MF coupling with out the M's disrupting the fun.

 

All the while the lady, and remember that is exactly what she is, is treated to slow, sensuous and earnest stimulation.

 

The M's NEED to be aware and responsive to the lady's reactions and to each others actions.

 

Take your time. Allow her to direct as much as she wants. You as the males only respond to her pleasure.

 

It is NOT about you.

 

Believe me this will have its own rewards for you guys, but they should spring from her imagination not your scene management.

[lovefest04 700]

shy-couple and Icmim are right on.

 

Think foreplay - think erotic not porn - think about her as a goddess not a prostitute who deserves your attention and thank her for it.

 

I'd suggest you both take her on a date. Dinner/picnic, dancing, drinks, walking and flirting. Don't charge ahead to the end, take your time. As they say, "It's the journey not the destination".

 

One great evening we had as a MFM interaction started with a drink then dinner, her between us, flirting. She would touch/tease us under the table, she'd invite us to touch her. No one knew except the three of us. So, we all looked proper to outsiders, but under the table she was rubbing our cocks in our pants and we were feeling her thighs and warm pussy all the while caring on a conversation, flirting and enjoying getting to know each other. It was a secret between three people, it was exciting and the secret aspect made it so much hotter. We then went dancing, where the other patrons couldn't quite figure out what we were, two men and a sexy lady. She warmed up, began to kiss us each on the dance floor. It didn't go unnoticed and at some point a couple of guys asked her about it. By then she was very hot and told them we were her toys and she was going to fuck us both later that night. The guys were dumbfounded. She was in control. She set the pace. She spilled the 'secret'.

 

We did just as she said and the evening was truly incredible for all involved. But, even if we had not ended up in bed, the evening would have been a success. The journey was wonderful, enjoyable and erotic. Totally satisfying.