Too much spice can ruin the dish

[Shore2Please 612]

Many say they got into swinging to spice up their sex life. Like food, can too much spice ruin what you are looking for.

 

We started with one couple, alone, and were very happy. We have evolved to a few small parties, and I have been more open to being with a woman. I don’t mind kissing and touching and will admit having a woman cum from oral was exciting. I am not quick to give oral to a woman.

 

Since we first swapped I look forward to being with our original couple. We usually will end our nights in separate rooms with them. Our play with them has grown to us playing together too. Even me playing with the wife. Our friends are much more active in the LS. We just visited with them. Our first night went as it usually does. Sensual and sexual. The next night, and we knew it was coming, was a party with four more couples. We had met two of the couples before. Being a group party it was more of a raucous sexual night. No romance or sensuality. It was fun and much different than original meetings.

 

Have you ever felt that your swinging has become too much and wish you could go back to your original times?

[adamgunn 1,460]

Although there are similarities, I feel every encounter with a new lover is exciting. I'm happy with my swinging the way it is, the way it's evolved.

[Numex 2,420]

.. Have you ever felt that your swinging has become too much and wish you could go back to your original times?

Indeed, we have dialed it back a bit from "No romance or sensuality," to only married couples who are genuinely lovers we care about. Both my wife and I like it much better because with emotional connections the sex is better and for reasons of safety. There is still more than enough variety and kinkiness with the added kick of "dating."

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

Too much of ANYTHING can ruin things...alcohol, drugs, sugar, caffeine, food, hobbies, sports, anything can become an obsession. That's why we limit things to once a month and only if there are no personal commitments requiring us to take care of first.

[Guest]

We just kind of happened into our first MFM and I loved it. To my husband’s surprise, I was the one that got the 2nd one going two weeks later. For me, the swinging experience has made me for confident around men, more confortable with my own body, and I’m sure for my husband, a lot more fun. The only thing about swinging I would change is having started it 20 years earlier.

[padoc 1,703]

We totally agree with the above post.

[Numex 2,420]

Too much of ANYTHING can ruin things... That's why we limit things to once a month and only if there are no personal commitments requiring us to take care of first.

Interesting perspective. For us, cutting back by limiting ourselves to select couples has increased the frequency of our play. Whereas before we would seek out adventure as a couple like twice a month, now we (and our play partners) will either seek out or be sought out for something at least once during the week.

[TricianMike 779]

We do things in spurts. We agree that too much spice can ruin a dish and that spice can be numbing.

[Numex 2,420]

We do things in spurts. We agree that too much spice can ruin a dish and that spice can be numbing.

I agree generally, but for us which includes the couples who we play with, the way we are currently being nonmonogamous was a recalibration, a new normal. It is many things, including more fulfilling and liberating, and perhaps "spicy" is not the right word. It is definitely not numbing, certainly less frantic than the way we used to swing.

[EastInWest 1,524]

There's such a thing as hedonic adaptation, and what they call the "hedonic treadmill" effect. Putting in a high amount of effort to add stimulus to your life tends to be a dead end because you eventually get used to it, then have to put in even more effort to step it up further.

 

The same can be true of sexual experimentation. We definitely want to keep pushing our boundaries but like keeping it in small doses.

[Guest]

After that first MFM, there was blind enthusiasm on my part but after a few months, maybe several then, without setting a limit, we settled into every mont or so, too. A lot more when we are on vacations out town, maybe less now when we are home.

[adamgunn 1,460]

I agree. Our Hotwifing and swinging normally is at two to three times per month. That seems plenty of great moments for us, and leaves time for vanilla pursuits.

[TricianMike 779]

You can have too much of a good thing. A few years ago we thought it would be fun to pick up men at hotels. I would flirt and Mike would watch from afar. It was a game for us if I/we could convince someone back to our room. We had success and then added spice. We would say tonight maybe two men, maybe an Asian, maybe an African American, maybe a couple. Not every time was a success. Even when we found someone willing it wasn’t always great. We started pushing the envelope, 2 guys, 3 guys, 4 guys. We had to be careful with multi guys. They could be idiots. After awhile the fun ran out. I think we both realized it was time to stop.

[LecrameMark 15]

I know that feeling, it is gonna pass after few more parties, trust me. We wanted to stop with swinger parties but then our friends called us with them. And now it is like a therapy for us.

[Numex 2,420]

... And now it is like a therapy for us.

Good observation. It's free and effective, but addictive.

[cplnluv1 872]

Degrees of spiciness varies with different people. Too much of anything can be bad. Sometimes there is a spice you didn’t know existed. Turmeric was new to us and now we know it has health benefits. Sumac to me was like poison ivy, now I know it’s not poison. Put too much on any dish and you ruin it. What we found is by combining spices you get a totally new flavor. Over the last five years we have tried new spices, new blends, some we liked, some were just an experience. Sometimes we just go back to basics. Nothing wrong with just a little salt.