LGBT-Q do swingers fall into the Q category ?

[Guest 15]

Does *questioning the vanilla worlds views on monogamy equate swingers to the LQBT-Q community and their call for equality ?

 

I.e morals clauses , social shunning , being outted to the vanilla world

 

Or is being a swinger and identifing as one just make us different then the normal or a non -conformist ?

[adamgunn 1,460]

You raise an interesting point. The 'Q' can stand for either 'Queer' or 'Questioning.' Although I don't consider myself sexually queer, I'm definitely questioning traditional monogamy.

 

However, I wouldn't say that I'm LGBT-Q, as the moniker seems oriented towards people with non-traditional gender roles. I am (more or less) heterosexual, so I don't think I fit into that camp.

 

And, of course, I don't think it really matters what you call yourself as long as you're respectful of other people and having fun. So . . .

[Manitobacpl 81]

We hate labels/pigeon holes/boxes ... by being swingers we are releasing natural sexual urges that have been stifled by years of religious rules ,

[shy_couple 459]

We hate labels/pigeon holes/boxes ...

 

Listen to the song Little Boxes by the late, great Pete Seeger...

[cplnuswing 4,713]

You raise an interesting point. The 'Q' can stand for either 'Queer' or 'Questioning.' Although I don't consider myself sexually queer, I'm definitely questioning traditional monogamy.

 

However, I wouldn't say that I'm LGBT-Q, as the moniker seems oriented towards people with non-traditional gender roles. I am (more or less) heterosexual, so I don't think I fit into that camp.

 

And, of course, I don't think it really matters what you call yourself as long as you're respectful of other people and having fun. So . . .

 

Couldn't have said it better myself.

 

I am pretty certain my views on sexuality fall well outside of the mainstream , but being a swinger is not really an identity to me in the same way as it is to LGBT-Q folks. But, that's an assumption, and just like people have a lot of uninformed assumptions about swingers, as pretty much your standard issue middle-aged straight white male, there's probably a fair amount of uninformed assumptions that went into that previous statement too.

[padoc 1,703]

We have a hobby, not a cause. We enjoy sharing orgasms with friends but are not militant about it. We don't have a flag (other than Old Glory) nor do we think that as swingers we need additional rights beyond what is constitutionally granted to ALL Americans. So no, we don't fall under anybody's "Q".

[JandKinBoise 858]

I agree with Padoc that lgbtq is a political acronym that plays no part in this lifestyle. I'm pretty sure we enjoy plenty of rights. Haven't seen a meet and greet raided recently. But speaking of that particular group, wth is bisexual doing in there? Not exactly a persecuted group.

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

Have we (the public in general, not just swingers) not divided EVERYONE into small enough subgroups? I would rather belong to the group of people as a whole and have us all work towards making the world a better place for everyone, not just the particular subgroup that they identify with.

[lovefest04 699]

I'm with Gold.

 

It seems that the "powers" that be are spending a lot of energy trying to divide our societies. White/Black, Gay/straight, immigrants/americans, republican/democrat, rich/poor, pro-life/pro-choice etc etc.

 

There is only one way I can think of to co-exist with other humans and that's to be one great melting pot with lots of different views backgrounds and traditions that are respected even if not enjoyed. Then we can look for common ground as a society. Participating in a "subgroup" is fine, but must be part of a great whole. Sorry for the hijack, but it all starts with each and every one of us.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

A lesbians is born as a lesbian.

A gay man is born as a gay man.

A bisexual person is born as a bisexual person.

A transgender person is born as one gender but after realizing they are inside a different gender, make a change.

 

A swinger was not born as a swinger. But in another sense, all of us were born as swingers. Getting past or getting around the social convention called monogamy makes a swinger. A swinger is not a member of the so-called LGBT-Q community.

[MrandMrsA 76]

So, no one here is concerned about losing a job/career due to a "morality" clause in their employment contract? Oh yeah, maybe that's why you hang out here - you're retired! It's about living your best life in the open - without fear!

[adamgunn 1,460]

A, I'm not sure what your point is. I and my wife have been in the Lifestyle for decades. Yes, we're retired now, but formerly I was an IT professional and my wife was on the facility of public schools, both elementary and high school. No, we weren't concerned over being let go for our Saturday night enjoyment.

 

If they fired everybody who is an adulterer, only 20% of people would be working.

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

I work as IT for a large school and Ms Gold used to also work as an admin for a school district; both of us have morals clauses that could cost us our jobs. The thing is, for anyone to find us 'violating' that clause, someone else needs to be violating it as well...we feel safe. Even if worse came to worse, we have a lawyer that would ask the question as to how what we do on our own time would effect how we perform our job duties. Schools would rather cave than risk negative publicity, I've seen it already happen numerous times where I work. They will say 'you can't do that' until you answer with 'what if I do it anyway' and then let it go.

 

Lovefest: United we stand, divided we fall...that's what the 'powers' want to do, keep us divided so we cannot stand against those powers.

[dazanconfsd 84]

I agree with Gold, too many labels causing division. Many labels are just a split between us/them.

[padoc 1,703]

I wonder exactly where in the Constitution or Bill of Rights does "putting sexual preference up front" get mentioned as a basic right? Come on! Its mid June.. too late for snow jobs.

[Guest]

From the way we approach it, absolutely not, it’s MFM, it’s swaps, orgy parties, etc, all very heterosexual. But, neither of us is the least bit interested in bi. Maybe it’s different for those who’s menu includes more bi activity.

[Bluespruce1 706]

It’s crazy but we have never really thought about this. I guess that’s a good thing because we both hate labels and we definitely hate social norms. I guess we are on the Q side of the spectrum. We go to a nude beach and I love looking at the ladies as much as the guys and their cocks. He is the same. We thrive on amazing heterosexual contact, but also spend many experiences with same sex partners. I have certainly had my share of ladies work my parts while i’m also enjoying the attention of a male partner. Likewise I have had a male partner inside me while my husband provides oral stimulation to both of us. I have watched him hold a mans penis and guide it inside me or another woman and I have kissed and caressed plenty of women while he fucks them. What does that make us? L,G,B,Q, sluts, perverts, deviants...? Who really cares.. I’d call us S for satisfied I guess...but you won’t see us marching in a parade and flaunting our sexuality. It’s our private world for better or for worse.

[Newandnaughty 3]

Q is for questioning? Huh, always thought it was for queer. Originally meant queer and it was changed? Either way those 5 letters are used to segregate people, not a fan of segregation. We all saw how that worked out some years back.

[padoc 1,703]

So, "putting sexual preference up front" isn't a basic right? Thank you for clarifying that. You're correct, precedent is entirely different from a basic right as provided by the Constitution and the Bill of Rights. By the way, I didn't "inject" into a thread, I commented upon it. Isn't that what people in a blog have a right to do? Or is it a precedent? Apparently, you're sensitive to comments that don't quite fit your narrative.

[lovefest04 699]

I like the idea of Q being part of the solution for those that might need legal standing. It seems to me that most of the other labels are quite specific in terms of sexual preference. Gay = two men, Lesbian = two women and etc. But swingers can be in any or all of those groups, and most often may define as heterosexual. (Notice how there is no letter for that. It's always assumed that heterosexual is the 'norm' and all others are not) Why is that?

 

Is it simply a function of religion etc.

 

I think I'd like to use Q as either questioning or Queer and if I was to use a label use that. Why the heck not? It allows for a broad fluid definition of sexuality that none of the other label provides.

 

I have been self employed so never worried about my job and my personal life. But if I did worry about that, I'd want something better than non-conformist to argue my case.

[adamgunn 1,460]

"It's always assumed that heterosexual is the 'norm' and all others are not) Why is that?"

 

Heterosexual is the norm because that's what most people do. That of and by itself makes it the norm. Even during the days of the Roman Empire when homo- and bi-sexuality was accepted behavior, the prevalent act was sex between men and women.

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

I could get behind the Q if it stood for questioning as in questioning the accepted norm, but that train has left the station. It already stands for something and trying to change that isn't going to happen. I still prefer not being in a subgroup anyways. Tolerance means just accepting people the way they are and not passing judgement. I prefer to be tolerant of everyone (of course I have to be more tolerant of some people than others).

[1hotminute 72]

I personally don’t want to put a label on myself, but I’ll count myself included in LGBTQA. Considering the A for All. If I ever had an issue with personal morality in losing my job or any other thing I would want to take legal action just as anyone that would lose their job over being gay/lesbian. Thanks for the post I’ve also been considering this lately so it’s nice to see the conversations on this subject.

[AngelandTiger 364]

My take. Being a member of the LGBTQ+ community is not a choice. Swinging most certainly is. That said, within the swinger community, there are many members of the LGBTQ+ community. In the Venn diagram of the two communities, there is quite a bit of overlap, and the intersection of the Swinger and LGBTQ+ communities is where they (we) fall. However, to use the (minimal) legal protections currently offered to the LGBTQ+ community to defend a morals dismissal for lifestyle activities fails on the merits, it seems to me, as the lifestyle community is not a recognized protected group.

 

That said, it matters little anyway. Many states, such as ours, are Right-to-Work states, and codified in the RTW legislation (at least for our state) is the right for an employer to terminate your employment for any reason that does not violate your constitutional rights, or for NO REASON WHATSOEVER. You are not owed a reason, and one need not be given. As such, in this state, if your employer feels that they need to terminate your employment for a violation of their morality terms, they have full right to do so, and one has no legal recourse.

 

T