Our First MFM Threesome - Amazing Experience

[BlueStagg 57]

My wife and I had our first MFM. Overall the experience was amazing. She had one of the best night she of sex of her life.

 

My only downfall was struggling to perform WHILE our new friend was in the room. This didn't stop me from kissing, touching and licking my wife... and LOVED everything I saw. Just struggled.

 

Anyone else experience this? I want to do this again and be more of an active participant

[bbarnsworth 2,637]

Fear not. This is a very common thing. You're not accustomed to this yet. After a little while, it'll seem more normal and you won't have the performance issues. The first time for me, the lady was fantastic. I really, really liked her. She was giving me a great blow job, and....down he went. So disappointing. It's normal. Don't sweat it! It's great she had such an amazing evening!

[BlueStagg 57]

Fear not. This is a very common thing. You're not accustomed to this yet. After a little while, it'll seem more normal and you won't have the performance issues. The first time for me, the lady was fantastic. I really, really liked her. She was giving me a great blow job, and....down he went. So disappointing. It's normal. Don't sweat it! It's great she had such an amazing evening!

 

She definitely did! And as soon as our friend left I perked up and had INCREDIBLE sex with my wife. I am just excited to participate more

[JandKinBoise 858]

We men always think we know it all going into something like this. Then the moment is happening and it's the most erotic experience ever, and it won't get hard. It doesn't even make sense. But as you get more comfortable, it will start working. Give it time and most importantly, don't overthink it. It can snowball if you are all stressed out about it happening again, It probably will for the first couple times.

As your experience grows, you will encounter men that will also experience this. Very important to let the wife know it has nothing to do with her.

[BlueStagg 57]

She definitely did! And as soon as our friend left I perked up and had INCREDIBLE sex with my wife. I am just excited to participate more

 

The good news is it didn't even bother her. She got it, I was the confused one. She knew immediately it wasn't her when the guy left and we have great sex right away.

 

I'm in much better place about it now. And we have our 2nd threesome planned in a few days. If it doesn't happen, I'll just pleasure her with my mouth and hands and then have sex with her solo afterwards

[Numex 2,416]

... it didn't even bother her. She got it, I was the confused one. She knew immediately it wasn't her when the guy left and we have great sex right away. .

You guys are going from great to fantastic. Keep us updated.

[bbarnsworth 2,637]

The good news is it didn't even bother her. She got it, I was the confused one. She knew immediately it wasn't her when the guy left and we have great sex right away.

 

I'm in much better place about it now. And we have our 2nd threesome planned in a few days. If it doesn't happen, I'll just pleasure her with my mouth and hands and then have sex with her solo afterwards

 

I'm with Numex; sounds like you're just going from great to fantastic

 

On threesomes; every couple looks at this in their own way, hopefully getting from it what they want. Being new to this, you two might not fully grasp what you want out of threesomes over time. If I might offer some advice...

 

Finding good, single men in the lifestyle whom your wife really enjoys having sex with may not always be easy. It sounds like she had a fantastic time with this guy, and especially for the first time that's a fantastic outcome! My wife's first threesome wasn't bad, but wasn't great either. So, you're luckier than we were It's a lot like the vanilla dating world; it can be hit and miss, and sometimes it will feel more like miss than hit.

 

Some couples approach MFM threesomes as 'one and done' experiences. The thought is that many repeat experiences with the same guy can lead to the wife becoming emotionally attached to the guy, or the guy becoming emotionally attached to her. This of course could potentially lead to drama. For my wife and I, our take was that if she finds a guy with whom she really, really enjoys having sex...why restrict yourself to just once? Once you've found a fantastic play partner, keep him around. Early on, the emotional component of it was something we were quite concerned about. As time went on, and she started having a long time play partner, we became more comfortable with the idea of her developing emotions for him or vice versa. Each couple is different, and this is something the two of you have to work out as you continue to have threesomes. Work it out together, in the spirit of love and support for each other. Whatever way you decide to approach this will be better off if you communicate well with each other. What you don't want to do is have her give up on a play partner whom she really enjoys because she's concerned how you'll feel about her having him multiple times and doesn't discuss it with you, or the flip side; her having a guy multiple times and not realizing this is hurting you. Talk it out. Understand; if you make a decision about it now, that doesn't have to be written in stone either. You can always change your thoughts/opinions as you do this more.

 

Another thing about threesomes; some swingers feel that threesomes are a bit unbalancing; one partner is getting to play with someone new while the other isn't. So, some swingers just play with couples only. It sounds like you've already crossed that bridge and are happy to do threesomes. Just be aware that its possible, down the road, to feel like she's getting all the action and you're not. My wife and I got to that point for a brief time early on. But, as I became more comfortable and realized how much she was enjoying MFMs, I started getting huge thrills just from her having a great time. MFMs have been win-win for us ever since. As always with swinging, heart-to-heart, open, honest communication is important.

 

On your experience, in not having sex with your wife during an MFM; this is really ok. An MFM is very much about the wife, and allowing her to focus on the other guy isn't a bad thing at all. My wife and I have had many threesomes, and sometimes it just nice to be there with her, support her, hold her, caress her, kiss her, etc. while she has sex only with the other guy. Sometimes it's nice to swap back-and-forth, her having sex with both of us and the other guy and I kinda tag teaming. It's a fantastic feeling going into my wife after the other guy has had sex with her for a while. She is so open, so wet, so inviting it's just fantastic. Sometimes it's really nice too though to just be the support guy, and let her really get into the other guy. All flavors on the spectrum of MFM fun.

[BlueStagg 57]

I'm with Numex; sounds like you're just going from great to fantastic

 

On threesomes; every couple looks at this in their own way, hopefully getting from it what they want. Being new to this, you two might not fully grasp what you want out of threesomes over time. If I might offer some advice...

 

Finding good, single men in the lifestyle whom your wife really enjoys having sex with may not always be easy. It sounds like she had a fantastic time with this guy, and especially for the first time that's a fantastic outcome! My wife's first threesome wasn't bad, but wasn't great either. So, you're luckier than we were It's a lot like the vanilla dating world; it can be hit and miss, and sometimes it will feel more like miss than hit.

 

Some couples approach MFM threesomes as 'one and done' experiences. The thought is that many repeat experiences with the same guy can lead to the wife becoming emotionally attached to the guy, or the guy becoming emotionally attached to her. This of course could potentially lead to drama. For my wife and I, our take was that if she finds a guy with whom she really, really enjoys having sex...why restrict yourself to just once? Once you've found a fantastic play partner, keep him around. Early on, the emotional component of it was something we were quite concerned about. As time went on, and she started having a long time play partner, we became more comfortable with the idea of her developing emotions for him or vice versa. Each couple is different, and this is something the two of you have to work out as you continue to have threesomes. Work it out together, in the spirit of love and support for each other. Whatever way you decide to approach this will be better off if you communicate well with each other. What you don't want to do is have her give up on a play partner whom she really enjoys because she's concerned how you'll feel about her having him multiple times and doesn't discuss it with you, or the flip side; her having a guy multiple times and not realizing this is hurting you. Talk it out. Understand; if you make a decision about it now, that doesn't have to be written in stone either. You can always change your thoughts/opinions as you do this more.

 

Another thing about threesomes; some swingers feel that threesomes are a bit unbalancing; one partner is getting to play with someone new while the other isn't. So, some swingers just play with couples only. It sounds like you've already crossed that bridge and are happy to do threesomes. Just be aware that its possible, down the road, to feel like she's getting all the action and you're not. My wife and I got to that point for a brief time early on. But, as I became more comfortable and realized how much she was enjoying MFMs, I started getting huge thrills just from her having a great time. MFMs have been win-win for us ever since. As always with swinging, heart-to-heart, open, honest communication is important.

 

On your experience, in not having sex with your wife during an MFM; this is really ok. An MFM is very much about the wife, and allowing her to focus on the other guy isn't a bad thing at all. My wife and I have had many threesomes, and sometimes it just nice to be there with her, support her, hold her, caress her, kiss her, etc. while she has sex only with the other guy. Sometimes it's nice to swap back-and-forth, her having sex with both of us and the other guy and I kinda tag teaming. It's a fantastic feeling going into my wife after the other guy has had sex with her for a while. She is so open, so wet, so inviting it's just fantastic. Sometimes it's really nice too though to just be the support guy, and let her really get into the other guy. All flavors on the spectrum of MFM fun.

 

Some really great advice here thank you! Going into this we were holding to find a go to guy that she really enjoys and respects our boundaries. This guy has done that and then some. I would not take such a wonderful experience away from her and create an issue before there actually is an issue.

 

I think the reason we were so successful is she was the focus from minute one. Even while I wasn't getting it up, I was kissing her and touching her while he was having sex with her. She was REALLY great about looking for me and reaching for me. A connection I love but cannot explain.

 

And lastly I agree 100% that there is NOTHING like having sex with your wife just minutes after another guy finished. I cannot wait for more!

[Numex 2,416]

.. The thought is that many repeat experiences with the same guy can lead to the wife becoming emotionally attached to the guy, or the guy becoming emotionally attached to her. This of course could potentially lead to drama. For my wife and I, our take was that if she finds a guy with whom she really, really enjoys having sex...why restrict yourself to just once? .., we became more comfortable with the idea of her developing emotions for him or vice versa...

Same for us. My wife is genuinely in love with another man who she plays with. It doesn't bother me or his wife in the least, since it hasn't diminished love for their spouses. Actually, I think his wife sometimes hurts his feelings by calling it "puppy love" and other things.

 

. .. What you don't want to do is have her give up on a play partner whom she really enjoys because she's concerned how you'll feel about her having him multiple times and doesn't discuss it with you, or the flip side; her having a guy multiple times and not realizing this is hurting you...

I've been in both situations with my wife and much prefer the way it is now with us having limited partners. First, because it's safer and because I prefer her having sex with guys who care about her rather than she being something to fuck and leave.

 

.. Another thing about threesomes; some swingers feel that threesomes are a bit unbalancing; one partner is getting to play with someone new while the other isn't...

We started out even more unbalanced, with my wife playing alone separately with two of her exes. It didn't bother me, it was a good way to start, she felt very comfortable with guys she knew, had fucked before, and she enjoyed sex with. It was hot for me afterwards.

 

... sometimes it just nice to be there with her, support her, hold her, caress her, kiss her, etc. while she has sex only with the other guy...

Agreed, I enjoy that tremendously, but surprisingly I now get more excited when I'm the workhorse pumping away trying to make her cum while loverboy there is kissing her and feeling her breast.

 

... Sometimes it's nice to swap back-and-forth, her having sex with both of us and the other guy and I kinda tag teaming...

Yeah, but that's more for couples play, especially when there's more than one other couple. The women get to choose the arrangements.

 

... . It's a fantastic feeling going into my wife after the other guy has had sex with her for a while. She is so open, so wet, so inviting it's just fantastic ...

Sloppy seconds, especially sloppy seconds. After some vigorous play sessions my wife will come to me all messy and dirty, but still ready to go. She'll suck up my limp dick, I enter her in loving missionary position, and I realize that she has virtually an endless capacity for sex and love.

[Numex 2,416]

.

 

And lastly I agree 100% that there is NOTHING like having sex with your wife just minutes after another guy finished. I cannot wait for more!

I must add that my wife feels the same way. She loves sucking me and/or the woman who I had just finished in before we show one another who we are with marital sex.

[machiavel55 81]

The good news is it didn't even bother her. She got it, I was the confused one. She knew immediately it wasn't her when the guy left and we have great sex right away.

 

I'm in much better place about it now. And we have our 2nd threesome planned in a few days. If it doesn't happen, I'll just pleasure her with my mouth and hands and then have sex with her solo afterwards

 

So, will you be doing only MFM's or do you intend to have sex with other women?

[bbarnsworth 2,637]

Same for us. My wife is genuinely in love with another man who she plays with. It doesn't bother me or his wife in the least, since it hasn't diminished love for their spouses. Actually, I think his wife sometimes hurts his feelings by calling it "puppy love" and other things.

 

As we became more comfortable with it all, the idea of my wife developing emotions for a long term boyfriend seemed like a natural evolution, and one we shouldn't run from. Early on, our thoughts were that if she started to develop feelings or the boyfriend started to express feelings of love, she would quit playing with him cold turkey. Thankfully, that changed. She's had two long term (more than two years each) boyfriends now. She developed feelings for both of them, especially the second. I think if his situation hadn't changed, and he wasn't in the area any more that they would have developed a full blown relationship, and she'd still be in love with him now.

 

 

I've been in both situations with my wife and much prefer the way it is now with us having limited partners. First, because it's safer and because I prefer her having sex with guys who care about her rather than she being something to fuck and leave.

 

Sometimes there's a very nice edge to a fucking just for the sake of fucking. But, I agree, over time I became much more comfortable with my wife going to have sex with a boyfriend than going of for solo play with somebody she'd only played a couple of times. Not comfortable from the standpoint of jealousy or anything like that, but comfortable from the stand point of safety and knowing she was going to have a fantastic time, and come home deliciously tired from all the sex they had had.

 

Sloppy seconds, especially sloppy seconds. After some vigorous play sessions my wife will come to me all messy and dirty, but still ready to go. She'll suck up my limp dick, I enter her in loving missionary position, and I realize that she has virtually an endless capacity for sex and love.

 

That's awesome

 

Until my wife's first boyfriend in doing all of this, she always had her play partners wear condoms. Once she had played with the guy who became a long term boyfriend a bunch of times, we agreed it would be fine for her to play without condoms. More so than any other woman I've ever met, she really despises condoms and prefers bareback. I can see it in how she responds to sex as well, both with me or with another guy. She just loves bareback. Anyway, that first time with him with condoms was an MFM and it was incredibly hot. She was over the moon in sexual ecstasy. When he finally came in her, I almost immediately entered her. Before hand, I didn't really know if I'd enjoy having sex with her after a guy actually came inside of her. Turns out, I really enjoyed it. The idea of another man's cum on my cock didn't freak me out, it just made me want her all the more. It was intensely pleasureful for me too. Also, my wife really loves men cumming inside of her, so having us both cum inside of her was and has been a real treat for her.

 

(and suddenly I think we're thread hijacking! )

[BlueStagg 57]

So, will you be doing only MFM's or do you intend to have sex with other women?

 

At this time MFM will be our thing. My wife is interested in watching me and another woman, but she isn't ready. Being that it was my fantasy that lead to the MFM I'm perfectly ok with that and I will never pressure her.

 

She was talked like down the road she wants to host parties where we both are free to mingle. But that is a ways off

[bbarnsworth 2,637]

Some really great advice here thank you! Going into this we were holding to find a go to guy that she really enjoys and respects our boundaries. This guy has done that and then some. I would not take such a wonderful experience away from her and create an issue before there actually is an issue.

 

That's fantastic! As I said, talk with her about the possibility of emotions, and how the both of you will handle that. If your wife really enjoys this guy, all the better to keep him around. But, emotions can make things complicated. Make sure you're on the same page.

 

Another thing to think about this; if she effectively becomes his girlfriend, she'll be meeting your sexual wants and needs as well as his. Will this therefore evolve into some solo play for her when he's wanting to have sex with her and you're not available for an MFM? Something to ponder. With one of my wife's boyfriends, this was definitely the case where he'd call her and want to have sex as soon as possible. Sometimes I wasn't available. Eventually it became the case that she was having solo sex with him more often than MFM. Having kids at home kinda makes it hard to always be available for MFM. This became somewhat true with her second botyf

 

I think the reason we were so successful is she was the focus from minute one. Even while I wasn't getting it up, I was kissing her and touching her while he was having sex with her. She was REALLY great about looking for me and reaching for me. A connection I love but cannot explain.

 

Some of this fails explanation For a long time I tried to puzzle out why I loved watching a man have sex with my wife. I couldn't wrap my brain around it. All I knew was I loved it, and wanted more of it. I still do. The difference is I've given up trying to explain it

 

And lastly I agree 100% that there is NOTHING like having sex with your wife just minutes after another guy finished. I cannot wait for more!

 

There are rewards in this lifestyle that monogamists will never know. Not that being a monogamist is bad I'm sure people who've only ever had sex with their spouses will assert the same thing about us. For my part, and I think for you now as well, I'm very glad I've had the special treat of getting to have sex with my wife right after another man has done so. There is just something incredibly exhilarating about it all.

[BlueStagg 57]

That's fantastic! As I said, talk with her about the possibility of emotions, and how the both of you will handle that. If your wife really enjoys this guy, all the better to keep him around. But, emotions can make things complicated. Make sure you're on the same page.

 

Another thing to think about this; if she effectively becomes his girlfriend, she'll be meeting your sexual wants and needs as well as his. Will this therefore evolve into some solo play for her when he's wanting to have sex with her and you're not available for an MFM? Something to ponder.

 

Right now solo play isn't on the table. Doesn't mean never, but I'm not there yet.

 

Also we communicate in a group chat on KIK. This way everything is in the open.

 

As far as emotions. My wife wants no part. She's looking for a person we both get a long with and have great sex. If a guy got emotional with her we agreed we'd cut it off most likely but we'll cross that bridge when it comes

[bbarnsworth 2,637]

As far as emotions. My wife wants no part. She's looking for a person we both get a long with and have great sex. If a guy got emotional with her we agreed we'd cut it off most likely but we'll cross that bridge when it comes

 

That's great. Just be aware, the more times you have sex with someone, the more likely it is that feelings will begin to develop. It's not a hard and fast, 1:1 rule, but there is a better chance of it. It's not a reason to NOT continue to play with someone she really enjoys, but just be aware. My wife feels, and I tend to agree, that's it's not quite as easy for a woman to keep emotions out of it. With sex, a man is physically inside of you. It's a different for a woman.

[BlueStagg 57]

That's great. Just be aware, the more times you have sex with someone, the more likely it is that feelings will begin to develop. It's not a hard and fast, 1:1 rule, but there is a better chance of it. It's not a reason to NOT continue to play with someone she really enjoys, but just be aware. My wife feels, and I tend to agree, that's it's not quite as easy for a woman to keep emotions out of it. With sex, a man is physically inside of you. It's a different for a woman.

 

Yea some type of connection or feelings are inevitable with going back to the same partner. As long as both my wife and the guy continue to respect me as the husband I don't see an issue with it. We have been communicating through each step and I think that will go a long way

[bbarnsworth 2,637]

Precisely.

[Numex 2,416]

... Will this therefore evolve into some solo play for her when he's wanting to have sex with her and you're not available for an MFM? Something to ponder. With one of my wife's boyfriends, this was definitely the case where he'd call her and want to have sex as soon as possible. Sometimes I wasn't available. Eventually it became the case that she was having solo sex with him more often than MFM. Having kids at home kinda makes it hard to always be available for MFM. This became somewhat true with her second botyf

Agree and we've reached much the same arrangements.

We and the couples who we play with all have kids, busy lives, demanding jobs. Before we settled on just our couples, we would play together on weekends maybe three times a month at most. Now we play more during the week, two or three times each, than on weekends. During the week we will have a twosome or threesome in every combination whenever the desire and situation can be arranged. When one of us is out-of-town it's no longer an impediment, it's an opportunity. Same for the other couples. We even have the babysitting rotation worked out, two fuck while the third watches the kids.

 

We still love the all-in weekend couples' swaps where the kids are with grandparents or sitter, and we orgy, but we appreciate the freedom that playing apart gives us.

[machiavel55 81]

Yea some type of connection or feelings are inevitable with going back to the same partner. As long as both my wife and the guy continue to respect me as the husband I don't see an issue with it. We have been communicating through each step and I think that will go a long way

 

You have to be realistic....first, will you always be present?....very often dynamics like the one you seem to want evolve to the wife going on dates alone.

Second, if one of the men becomes like a bf then maybe overnights, weekends, etc....and don't expect respect of your wishes when you're not there and stop dreaming about your wife having great sex regularly with the same man without a strong connection being there and growing.

On one side there's what you want to believe for your fantasy to come to life and on the other side there is the reality of human nature.

[BlueStagg 57]

You have to be realistic....first, will you always be present?....very often dynamics like the one you seem to want evolve to the wife going on dates alone.

Second, if one of the men becomes like a bf then maybe overnights, weekends, etc....and don't expect respect of your wishes when you're not there and stop dreaming about your wife having great sex regularly with the same man without a strong connection being there and growing.

On one side there's what you want to believe for your fantasy to come to life and on the other side there is the reality of human nature.

 

Right now it's just MFM with no expectation of more. If that comes we discuss. But for not it's not in the cards