How fast do you respond?

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Reading Mrs. O's "Is it just me?" thread got me to thinking about how I have a tendency to purposely not respond immediately to an email that I receive. If I'm online when the email comes in I won't immediately respond to it (unless it's an urgent email in need of action) simply because I don't want the person on the other end to turn around and assume "oh she's online we can have a conversation now" and then write me back expecting me to turn around and do the same again (this could go on for hours).

 

 

I wonder if this isn't what happens tho when we are answering ads and such.

 

Couple A: Reads an ad for a couple they are interested in and sends and email

 

Couple B: receives email (whenever) and responds.

 

It just so happens that when Couple B responded Couple A was online so they figured that if they wrote back immediately Couple B would still be online and they could talk some more.

 

Couple B, however, signed off line right after answering their email. Couple A, not knowing that Couple B signed off, wonders why their new friends haven't responded already.

 

I had a point... but now I have no idea what it is...lol. SO, I'll ask a question or two.

 

How long between emails do you usually wait to respond?

How long do you wait before wondering why someone hasn't responded to you? How long do you give them before you start thinking they are blowing you off? And at what point (if any) do you write them again asking if they got your last email?

 

And on the opposite end of that, at what point of opening your email and seeing more than one email from the same person do you get creeped out and start feeling a little pressured?

[gsu22 187]

I'll wait maybe a day or so and then respond. Usually I 'm just too lazy to respond right away. If they hadn't e-mailed me back within 4-5 days then I would think they were blowing me off especially if I knew for a fact that they had read my e-mail.

 

I just recently got back from visiting family and right before I left, a couple had contacted me about an ad of mine. I responded nicely back saying that I was heading out of town and I said I'd be back around the 17th or 18th and then we could talk. Well, I got back the night of the 18th and they had sent me 3 e-mails and the title of the last one was: "Where are you"? That definitely creeped me out and needless to say that was over the line in terms of being too pushy.

[Roxysbayou 20]

Originally posted by gsu22

I'll wait maybe a day or so and then respond. Usually I 'm just too lazy to respond right away.

 

I'd like to say that I usually wait until hubby has a chance to view the email and/or profile before I respond. But the truth is I'm just like gsu22, lazy. I have a pretty good idea of what hubby likes or doesn't like, but I usually leave it up to him to make the response.

 

As far as sending emails, I would never bug someone. If my first email doesn't get a response I tend to just move on.

 

Roxy

[EternallySingle 32]

I answer all my emails as soon as I read them, but I rarely send them out the same day. I usually wait until the next day, unless its someone I know in real life (not someone I only know from ads, email or chatrooms).

 

When I used to respond to ads, I would only send one email to people I didn't know or wanted to meet. If they answered, cool. If they didn't answer, cool. Given the fact that a woman who totally ignored my emails became a good friend when we wound up working together, I don't get upset by unanswered emails, even if they were read or instantly deleted. I'm make a much better in person impression than online impression.

 

[OhioCouple 40]

Mr. O and I tend to disagree on responses to e-mails.

 

For myself: If it is someone we know I put that in the highest of response time. Even then, depending on every day life and situations, that may take a couple of days. If it is someone we do not know or are just getting to know, it may take a week or longer. I do not feel bad about this as our advert clearly states that we are not meeting new people and that we are extremely busy.

 

For Mr. O: He feels that we should respond immediately to any and all e-mails and gets antsy when they are not. Since I've started making him the one to do the typing, he isn't so persistent anymore.

 

As for wondering if they have blown us off, quite honestly it doesn't effect either of us and we have never written back to an unknown as to whether they received our e-mail or not.

[Brit_Pair 62]

If it's an email from people we know, then we'll try and answer as quickly as possible (subject to the rigours of everyday life). If it's from someone new, then it will be a couple of days before they receive a measured and considered response.

[cm89 16]

We usually sent a reply as quickly as possible just to let the other party know we've received their message. We will tell them that we will look over their profile "if available" and get back with them after we've had a chance to talk.

 

That usually gives us enough time to look things over. The second reply is within a couple of days of the first one...

 

This gives us a chance to find the sincerity of the other party. If they can't wait for the second reply, we're not interested.

[Elusive BiFem 70]

I fall somewhere between Brit_Pair and CM89 most of the time. Time constraints have a lot to do with it...if it is someone I know and feel comfortable with, I can shoot off a quick reply because I don't feel I have to be so careful with wording and such. Sometimes I might shoot off a quick reply just to let them know I received it, but I'm busy and it will take me a couple of days to get back with them. One of these "Look at my profile. Are you interested?" types of messages. I answer immediately. "Nope."

Some e-mail "friends?" We might go days and days between replies, but we know the responses will come eventually.

 

Many variables.

 

- EBF

[Alura 2,773]

We neither run ads nor respond to them. The only time we get emails (or PMs) is when someone notices our posts on the board and writes to us. In those cases we answer right away, answering their questions, unless it's a single-married honest-cheater, in which case we delete the message without answering. The same thing happens when men write after having read Mrs. Alura's "blowjob" post asking if they can experience it. That's been a long time, though, so, thankfully, we haven't had such a response in months.

 

When a couple writes, especially one whose posts we respect, we always ask them to "keep in touch." We don't think it's fair to play coy and keep others guessing.

 

Basically, it's a case of treating others the way you'd like to be treated.

 

Alura

[fasder 15]

We tend to fall towards the faster response time but complete agree that there is going to be some delay period. Both of us have multiple email accounts with a “play” account per each. On a normal day, our play accounts will get checked once a night, so if someone is lucky they may get a relatively fast turn around but only due to chance.

 

On the other hand, I don’t feel responsible to reply at all to the quickie “here is our profile” type emails. Thoughtfully crafted emails on the other hand gather respect and faster replies. Intelligent communication earns high marks in our book.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Originally posted by gsu22

Well, I got back the night of the 18th and they had sent me 3 e-mails and the title of the last one was: "Where are you"? That definitely creeped me out and needless to say that was over the line in terms of being too pushy.

 

Sounds like they can't read.

[C@YWMI 15]

Just goes to show you how all these modern conviences, seem to make our lifes more stressfull. I just didn't know there were so many rules of etiquette. When it came to answering e-mail and instant messangers. Unfortunately it looks like I broke some or at least made my wife and I look desperate. When answering the few ads we coresponded with. And probably is why we haven't experienced any couple fun.

I will try not to respond so much next time, we find an ad that we find interesting.

Julie you could write a book for dummies with the information that is compiled on this site. I wish I had one to follow today LOL maybe things would be different . O well I guess I had better go practice being coy and learn the art of well timed electronic messenging. It's tough being a Michigan Hillbilly at times.

 

And Roxy it is sure nice to see active on this site again!

[Alura 2,773]

Originally posted by C@YWMI [/i]

Julie you could write a book for dummies with the information that is compiled on this site. I wish I had one to follow today LOL maybe things would be different . O well I guess I had better go practice being coy and learn the art of well timed electronic messenging. It's tough being a Michigan Hillbilly at times.

 

If you think that's bad, C@YWMI, you should try being a hick Okie!

 

This site is a book, and a pretty darn good one.

 

It strikes Hick Okie Me that it's strange that we laud communication in swinging but run the other way if someone tries to communicate "too much." Being "coy" is not what it's about, in my opinion, being a friend is.

 

Mr. Alura

[C@YWMI 15]

Quote from Alura

It strikes Hick Okie Me that it's strange that we laud communication in swinging but run the other way if someone tries to communicate "too much." Being "coy" is not what it's about, in my opinion, being a friend is.

For you being a self proclaimed Hick your statement makes a lot of sense to me;)

[frenzb4sex 15]

I was glad when reading through Julie's original post that there was just Couple A and Couple B involved, because if she would have thrown in Couple C or D in there I would have frozen up, remembering the days of "If a train leaves Boston at 78 MPH and another train leaves Pittsburgh at 65 MPH, what is the weather outside" or some other story problem that made me hate the locomotive industry.

 

 

Anyway.....

 

If we get an email, we won't answer it until both of us have had a chance to weigh in our thoughts on it...but still, this is normally no less that a few hours...And we do this just because we sometimes send emails and wait and wait and wait and then fall asleep on the keyboard, which makes some interesting indentations on your forehead......

 

Because of this, we never like to leave anyone hanging for an extended period of time. If for some reason there is going to be a delay in getting an answer to them, etc., we will courteously let them know that we are currently a little busy but will get back with them as soon as possible......It seems to work well!

 

Tim

[Alura 2,773]

Originally posted by C@YWMI

Quote from Alura

For you being a self proclaimed Hick your statement makes a lot of sense to me;)

 

Thanks, Hillbilly!

 

Mr. Alura

[NorCal Nites 15]

Originally posted by JustAskJulie

How long between emails do you usually wait to respond?

 

How long do you wait before wondering why someone hasn't responded to you?

 

How long do you give them before you start thinking they are blowing you off? And at what point (if any) do you write them again asking if they got your last email?

 

And on the opposite end of that, at what point of opening your email and seeing more than one email from the same person do you get creeped out and start feeling a little pressured?

 

It depends on the person, the compatibility, the creep-out factor, and if the person just seems like a photo collector how long it takes to answer back.

 

Most often, I'm sitting at my PC during the day working, so I have the opportunity to check my email often. When I find an email from another couple, I will usually answer back right away. If they creep me out or flat out tell me they are a single man "wantin' to fuck", it may take a little while for me to tell them that we're just not interested... or in the case of the Unbelievably Appealing Single man, we ask them why they did not bother to read THE PROFILE!

 

Depending on how often they message or email, sometimes several days, maybe a week or so if we've been conversing a lot, will let me know that someone is not interested. Depending on the person, I sometimes email them with a small note that simply says "Thank you for your interest in us, and I'm sorry it did not work out. I will take all this inactivity as a pass on meeting (or getting together again) and wish you all the luck in finding what you're looking for!" other times, I simply will not say anything at all, and just let it be.

 

When someone emails multiple times before I can get back to them (unless they just forgot to add something or are adding pix, etc.), that's when I start wondering. I'll usually try to not think much of it at first, but when it starts getting annoying (like the woman I did not message for about 6 hours after I told her that I was doing inventory of my eBay store... asking "what she did wrong"), I'll usually tell the person it's just not working out, or if on messenger and it's gone too far beyond (you just can't stand it anymore), I will put them on Ignore.

 

I'm so sick of fakes... it's seriously unbelievable how many there are in my area... I talk to people all over and most of the frauds are here in my own hometown it seems. Bleh.