What are the ideas and suggestions in order to make the wife swing

[NewSw 37]

we are arab married couple from yemen 46 years both ,

married 19 years ago, and we have been keeping this tendency because of the ideology in an Arab society (as you know), where there is a lot here, but in secrecy and keenness. We have recently begun to talk about it. They have the same tendencies but need to be encouraged. We recently started to get to know the world of swingers and take some bold images. The question is: How can I encourage my wife to be fully convinced of this field and encourage it?

What are the ideas and suggestions in order to make the wife swingers please.

thank you

[Lionheart72 2,190]

Shortly after my wife and I started exploring swinging, a man said to me - "If I can watch my wife suck another man's dick, I can talk to her about anything." As we were both watching her do just that, I believed him.

 

It has been my experience that, in order for a couple to be successful swingers, you need to be able to speak, openly and honestly, about anything. You need to trust her and she needs to trust you, completely.

 

So, that is my suggestion, even more to you in your society than to another... show her she can trust completely. Show her you trust her completely. Show her that you can talk to her about anything... your fears, your concerns, your deepest most hidden desires. Show her that she can share the same with you... without fear of judgement or punishment. Trust each other completely. Communicate openly and honestly. Then, you can begin to explore swinging.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

Lionheart's advice is right on, it really comes down to trust and communication between spouses. Some people (most really) just aren't cut out to be swingers, but for others, they've got it in them but there are just things blocking it, whether it be fear of losing what they've currently got, religion, concerns about their attractiveness to others, and so on. Those things can usually be worked through though if good communication and trust is there.

[couplers 4,614]

... We recently started to get to know the world of swingers and take some bold images. The question is: How can I encourage my wife to be fully convinced of this field and encourage it?

What are the ideas and suggestions in order to make the wife swingers please.

The best and fastest way for your wife to consider swinging is to tell her that you love her, make her feel very secure in your marriage, and let her know that swinging will be done her way - she can do whatever she wants and you will only do what she feels comfortable with. Let her decide what is fun and proper, and you just be happy for her and glad that the adventure has begun. She needs to know that swinging does not have to be equal, she can play with a man and you watch (or maybe not), you do not need to have another woman. Once you get her started, she will open up to other things. Do not push her and do not criticize what she does or who she does it with, just enjoy the journey.

[Guest]

This is a fairly difficult question because there are so many factors and options.

 

The first thing that jumps into my head is.....

 

1: Security: You obviously live in a society that has strong beliefs / laws / ideology and that does not favour swinging and group sex activities. That basically if your friends / family / neighbours find out that you have explored group sex with your wife then it could potentially cause a lot of damage to your lives.

 

Your wife will have many worries and concerns such as:

 

What if our friends find out we have explored sex with other people?

What if our family finds out we have explored sex with other people?

What if our job / work place find out we have explored sex with other people?

What if our neighbours find out we have explored sex with other people?

What if local religious leaders find out we have had sex with other people?

 

You could say that in the Western world we have to be very careful to keep our swinging lives private, but that in an Arab setting you would have to be EVEN MORE CAREFUL!!

 

That privacy / secrecy / safety should perhaps be one of your top concerns.

 

That you need to build or formulate a PLAN that would make you safe.

 

Then to approach your wife with a PLAN of action which is SAFE!!

 

How would you do this?

 

How would you stop your friends from knowing?

 

How would you stop your family from knowing?

 

How would you stop people who live in the same town or village as you from knowing?

 

How could you make sure that NO ONE find's out?

 

There are various different options, such as:

 

 

- Never have sex with anyone that you already know. This means you do NOT have sex with friends / friends from work / people who live close / people who already know you / people who know your real names / people who know where you work / people who know your other friends or family members. The BEST people for you to have sex with together are STRANGERS, people who do not live near you, people who do not know your real lives.

 

- Privacy is also another vital factor. Do not tell people your real names / do not tell people where you live / where you work / what school your children attends / what bars or restaurants you eat at / what church you attend / what you do for a living. The more private you keep your life the less chance your friends and family will found out.

 

- Where you meet people is another big topic. You want to meet people FAR AWAY form where you live. Meet them in a place where that you wouldn't usually go, and where nobody knows you. The ideal place to meet someone is somewhere that is private and quiet, somewhere that you can talk without been overheard. Do NOT meet someone in a busy bar then expect your wife to sit there with you discussing sex where everyone else can hear. Find a private place, this could be a quiet restaurant with a garden so you can sit alone outside away from other people, it could be a coffee shop that is not packed with people.

 

I am totally unsure what your country is like, but here in the UK (even in a major city) we can easily find a quiet corner in bar to speak with people we meet. We can easily find a cafe / pub / bar / restaurant that has a outside garden so we can sit away from groups of people eating. Another really good place to meet is a public park (especially if the weather is warm and nice) because you can sit on the grass away from groups of people. I will guess your wife would be very nervous to speak about this in public / where other people might hear you, so factor that into your plan.

 

 

- Where you have sex is another big topic. If you do meet someone where would you explore sexually with them? I would NOT advise this been your house, not unless you get to know and trust the person really well. This means you may have to book a hotel away from where you live. That you may have to consider having some fun outdoors in the country if the weather is nice. Either that or sometimes people have sex in their cars if they have a big enough car.

 

Basically your wife will need to know that where you have sex would be private / safe / no one can see you / you will not bump into your family and friends / that you won't bump into your work friends. If you book a hotel room far enough away from where you live then make sure your wife knows that:

 

A) No one can see into hotel room.

B) The doors and windows would be closed and locked.

C) The curtains would be closed.

D) The lights would be dimmed or turned down.

E) No one could see you.

 

 

- Having a good reason / excuse ready is also a good idea. Say for example you met a person to speak with them, you met a person with the possibility of having sex with them and suddenly one of your friends or family members walks into the bar. That suddenly one of your friends or family sees you talking to this strange person and asks questions such as:

 

Who is this stranger?

Why was you talking to that stranger?

How do you know this person?

Why are you meeting this person?

 

Then having a very simple and direct story would help.

 

For example you could simply say:

 

"Oh its just an old work friend"

 

"Oh its just someone I met at the gym or whilst playing tennis"

 

If a friend or family members sees you meeting this person what are you and your wife going to say?

 

If you and your wife both know what to say / know what excuse you will use then it would make things safer.

 

 

- Contraception is another big topic. If you sleep with another women then your wife will want to know you are NOT going to get this other women pregnant. If your wife sleep with another man then she needs to know this other man is not going to get her pregnant. You need to think about what contraception you will use, condoms, pill, implant whatever is safest and makes your wife feel safe.

 

- No pictures or films is another area to think about. In some cases people may want to take pictures of you having sex or make films, do not let this happen. Make sure your wife knows there will be no pictures taken / no films made / no recordings.

 

 

In my opinion your wife would be worried about safety, so make a safe plan. Think about everything that could go wrong and make a plan to stop it going wrong.

 

Usually when you ask a women to consider sex with other people they will have 1,000 questions in their mind such as:

 

What if we get caught?

 

What if people find out?

 

Where would we meet someone?

 

When would we meet someone?

 

How would we make sure no one found out?

 

What happens if I fell pregnant?

 

What happens if you got another women pregnant?

 

What if this other person told everyone?

 

What do we say if a family member or friend notices us speaking to a stranger?

 

In which case you need to create a plan which makes your wife feel SAFE, that answers her worries and concerns.

 

 

2: Hygiene & Attraction:

 

 

Its also a good idea to find out WHO your wife would like to meet?

 

If you want your wife to have sex with another man, then what type of man would she pick?

 

Would he be tall / short / fat / slim / have long hair / short hair / would he have a beard / no beard / would he be like you / totally different to you / would he be shaven and have little body hair / does she prefer a guy with light hair / dark hair / would he be religious.

 

Some women might prefer a clean cut working professional man, other women might prefer a long haired religious man, other women might prefer a tall strong man, other women might like a short cuddly man.

 

The same applies for women, if your wife agreed to have sex with another women then would this other women be younger / older / slim / fat / tall / short / light hair / dark hair ECT?

 

Finding out WHO your wife would be okay sleeping with is a good idea and will allow you to pick better options.

 

Hygiene is also another good point to speak about.

 

Really you want to pick a person who is CLEAN / FRESH.

 

You want to pick a person who's hygiene levels match your own, avoid people who are dirty / smelly / not clean.

 

 

3: Porn: One of the best ways to make your wife interested in this subject is to watch porn films together. Watch films where people have group sex.

 

If your wife can not watch a porn film with you, if she can not watch other people having sex on a TV then how will she do it herself in real life?

[Brimba 30]

we are arab married couple from yemen 46 years both ,

married 19 years ago, and we have been keeping this tendency because of the ideology in an Arab society (as you know), where there is a lot here, but in secrecy and keenness. We have recently begun to talk about it. They have the same tendencies but need to be encouraged. We recently started to get to know the world of swingers and take some bold images. The question is: How can I encourage my wife to be fully convinced of this field and encourage it?

What are the ideas and suggestions in order to make the wife swingers please.

thank you

 

Start attending some swingers clubs and go slow. Your wife eventually will go for it after a period of time.

[Brimba 30]

Start attending some swingers clubs and go slow. Your wife eventually will go for it after a period of time.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

Start attending some swingers clubs and go slow. Your wife eventually will go for it after a period of time.

A swinger's club in Yemen? Who knew?

[NewSw 37]

thank you my friend, good advice and you are absolutely right in what you are saying and have a good knowledge of the ideology here

[NewSw 37]

Unfortunately not allowed here

[NewSw 37]

There are no clubs here, Unfortunately not allowed here . thank you my friend

[shy_couple 459]

Are you a traditional Muslim couple? I don’t want to sound too insensitive, and our knowledge of the whole vulture is limited. However, we understand that what you seek is incredibly taboo and just not done in that culture.

 

You and your wife will need to come to terms with what this means morally, emotionally, and mentally. We both came from co derivative Christian backgrounds, Catholics and Southern Baptist, and we still struggle at times with our religion and morality around the lifestyle. These aspects are not to be taken lightly and can have crippling consequences for you relationship with eachother and and your religion and lead to mental health issues down the line.

[Numex 2,409]

You can't make your wife swing, you can only tell her that you love her, then allow her to swing

[NewSw 37]

You can't make your wife swing, you can only tell her that you love her, then allow her to swing

Please need more clarification of the last phrase

[NewSw 37]

thank you very much my friend

[NewSw 37]

Shortly after my wife and I started exploring swinging, a man said to me - "If I can watch my wife suck another man's dick, I can talk to her about anything." As we were both watching her do just that, I believed him.

 

It has been my experience that, in order for a couple to be successful swingers, you need to be able to speak, openly and honestly, about anything. You need to trust her and she needs to trust you, completely.

 

So, that is my suggestion, even more to you in your society than to another... show her she can trust completely. Show her you trust her completely. Show her that you can talk to her about anything... your fears, your concerns, your deepest most hidden desires. Show her that she can share the same with you... without fear of judgement or punishment. Trust each other completely. Communicate openly and honestly. Then, you can begin to explore swinging.[/QUO

thank you very much my friend

[NewSw 37]

Lionheart's advice is right on, it really comes down to trust and communication between spouses. Some people (most really) just aren't cut out to be swingers, but for others, they've got it in them but there are just things blocking it, whether it be fear of losing what they've currently got, religion, concerns about their attractiveness to others, and so on. Those things can usually be worked through though if good communication and trust is there.

I

(They want to, but fear prevents them) Yes, this is what I meant in the introduction that I wrote, and this is the purpose of my question how to get women out of the barriers and fear, thank you very much my friend

[NewSw 37]

This is a fairly difficult question because there are so many factors and options.

 

The first thing that jumps into my head is.....

 

1: Security: You obviously live in a society that has strong beliefs / laws / ideology and that does not favour swinging and group sex activities. That basically if your friends / family / neighbours find out that you have explored group sex with your wife then it could potentially cause a lot of damage to your lives.

 

Your wife will have many worries and concerns such as:

 

What if our friends find out we have explored sex with other people?

What if our family finds out we have explored sex with other people?

What if our job / work place find out we have explored sex with other people?

What if our neighbours find out we have explored sex with other people?

What if local religious leaders find out we have had sex with other people?

 

You could say that in the Western world we have to be very careful to keep our swinging lives private, but that in an Arab setting you would have to be EVEN MORE CAREFUL!!

 

That privacy / secrecy / safety should perhaps be one of your top concerns.

 

That you need to build or formulate a PLAN that would make you safe.

 

Then to approach your wife with a PLAN of action which is SAFE!!

 

How would you do this?

 

How would you stop your friends from knowing?

 

How would you stop your family from knowing?

 

How would you stop people who live in the same town or village as you from knowing?

 

How could you make sure that NO ONE find's out?

 

There are various different options, such as:

 

 

- Never have sex with anyone that you already know. This means you do NOT have sex with friends / friends from work / people who live close / people who already know you / people who know your real names / people who know where you work / people who know your other friends or family members. The BEST people for you to have sex with together are STRANGERS, people who do not live near you, people who do not know your real lives.

 

- Privacy is also another vital factor. Do not tell people your real names / do not tell people where you live / where you work / what school your children attends / what bars or restaurants you eat at / what church you attend / what you do for a living. The more private you keep your life the less chance your friends and family will found out.

 

- Where you meet people is another big topic. You want to meet people FAR AWAY form where you live. Meet them in a place where that you wouldn't usually go, and where nobody knows you. The ideal place to meet someone is somewhere that is private and quiet, somewhere that you can talk without been overheard. Do NOT meet someone in a busy bar then expect your wife to sit there with you discussing sex where everyone else can hear. Find a private place, this could be a quiet restaurant with a garden so you can sit alone outside away from other people, it could be a coffee shop that is not packed with people.

 

I am totally unsure what your country is like, but here in the UK (even in a major city) we can easily find a quiet corner in bar to speak with people we meet. We can easily find a cafe / pub / bar / restaurant that has a outside garden so we can sit away from groups of people eating. Another really good place to meet is a public park (especially if the weather is warm and nice) because you can sit on the grass away from groups of people. I will guess your wife would be very nervous to speak about this in public / where other people might hear you, so factor that into your plan.

 

 

- Where you have sex is another big topic. If you do meet someone where would you explore sexually with them? I would NOT advise this been your house, not unless you get to know and trust the person really well. This means you may have to book a hotel away from where you live. That you may have to consider having some fun outdoors in the country if the weather is nice. Either that or sometimes people have sex in their cars if they have a big enough car.

 

Basically your wife will need to know that where you have sex would be private / safe / no one can see you / you will not bump into your family and friends / that you won't bump into your work friends. If you book a hotel room far enough away from where you live then make sure your wife knows that:

 

A) No one can see into hotel room.

B) The doors and windows would be closed and locked.

C) The curtains would be closed.

D) The lights would be dimmed or turned down.

E) No one could see you.

 

 

- Having a good reason / excuse ready is also a good idea. Say for example you met a person to speak with them, you met a person with the possibility of having sex with them and suddenly one of your friends or family members walks into the bar. That suddenly one of your friends or family sees you talking to this strange person and asks questions such as:

 

Who is this stranger?

Why was you talking to that stranger?

How do you know this person?

Why are you meeting this person?

 

Then having a very simple and direct story would help.

 

For example you could simply say:

 

"Oh its just an old work friend"

 

"Oh its just someone I met at the gym or whilst playing tennis"

 

If a friend or family members sees you meeting this person what are you and your wife going to say?

 

If you and your wife both know what to say / know what excuse you will use then it would make things safer.

 

 

- Contraception is another big topic. If you sleep with another women then your wife will want to know you are NOT going to get this other women pregnant. If your wife sleep with another man then she needs to know this other man is not going to get her pregnant. You need to think about what contraception you will use, condoms, pill, implant whatever is safest and makes your wife feel safe.

 

- No pictures or films is another area to think about. In some cases people may want to take pictures of you having sex or make films, do not let this happen. Make sure your wife knows there will be no pictures taken / no films made / no recordings.

 

 

In my opinion your wife would be worried about safety, so make a safe plan. Think about everything that could go wrong and make a plan to stop it going wrong.

 

Usually when you ask a women to consider sex with other people they will have 1,000 questions in their mind such as:

 

What if we get caught?

 

What if people find out?

 

Where would we meet someone?

 

When would we meet someone?

 

How would we make sure no one found out?

 

What happens if I fell pregnant?

 

What happens if you got another women pregnant?

 

What if this other person told everyone?

 

What do we say if a family member or friend notices us speaking to a stranger?

 

In which case you need to create a plan which makes your wife feel SAFE, that answers her worries and concerns.

 

 

2: Hygiene & Attraction:

 

 

Its also a good idea to find out WHO your wife would like to meet?

 

If you want your wife to have sex with another man, then what type of man would she pick?

 

Would he be tall / short / fat / slim / have long hair / short hair / would he have a beard / no beard / would he be like you / totally different to you / would he be shaven and have little body hair / does she prefer a guy with light hair / dark hair / would he be religious.

 

Some women might prefer a clean cut working professional man, other women might prefer a long haired religious man, other women might prefer a tall strong man, other women might like a short cuddly man.

 

The same applies for women, if your wife agreed to have sex with another women then would this other women be younger / older / slim / fat / tall / short / light hair / dark hair ECT?

 

Finding out WHO your wife would be okay sleeping with is a good idea and will allow you to pick better options.

 

Hygiene is also another good point to speak about.

 

Really you want to pick a person who is CLEAN / FRESH.

 

You want to pick a person who's hygiene levels match your own, avoid people who are dirty / smelly / not clean.

 

 

3: Porn: One of the best ways to make your wife interested in this subject is to watch porn films together. Watch films where people have group sex.

 

If your wife can not watch a porn film with you, if she can not watch other people having sex on a TV then how will she do it herself in real life?

 

 

Thank you very much my friend, the reply was great I will keep every word, it seems you spent a lot of time writing this, thank you again

[Numex 2,409]

You can't make your wife swing, you can only tell her that you love her, then allow her to swing.

Please need more clarification of the last phrase

Within the confines of morality and the law, one cannot "make" or in other words "force" someone to engage in sex with anyone she does not want to. She may, however, be enticed into engaging in sexual intercourse with others if she feels A) comfortable and B) excited about doing so.

 

You make her A) feel comfortable by having her feel loved and secure, including you not doing anything that will make her feel threatened. Which may mean that in the beginning and for quite a while, you do nothing.

 

She will B) be excited about having sex with others when she gets to choose who, when, where, how often, and under what conditions without any pushback or criticism from you. So if she decides she wants to have an MFM in your marital bed every Tuesday with those two guys from the gym while you're at work, you say "Great, I'm happy for you, have a good time." It's about her, not you. Your reward begins immediately with a more sexually charged wife and sex life. Another reward comes later when she realizes that having you engage in play will be fun as well. Enjoy the journey.

[Alura 2,774]

My Ol' Pappy once said, "You CAN lead a horse to water, and you CAN make him drink if you make sure he's thirsty before you take him to the river."

[NewSw 37]

Within the confines of morality and the law, one cannot "make" or in other words "force" someone to engage in sex with anyone she does not want to. She may, however, be enticed into engaging in sexual intercourse with others if she feels A) comfortable and B) excited about doing so.

 

You make her A) feel comfortable by having her feel loved and secure, including you not doing anything that will make her feel threatened. Which may mean that in the beginning and for quite a while, you do nothing.

 

She will B) be excited about having sex with others when she gets to choose who, when, where, how often, and under what conditions without any pushback or criticism from you. So if she decides she wants to have an MFM in your marital bed every Tuesday with those two guys from the gym while you're at work, you say "Great, I'm happy for you, have a good time." It's about her, not you. Your reward begins immediately with a more sexually charged wife and sex life. Another reward comes later when she realizes that having you engage in play will be fun as well. Enjoy the journey.

You are wonderful, my friend, you have given me an excellent idea , thank you

[NewSw 37]

My Ol' Pappy once said, "You CAN lead a horse to water, and you CAN make him drink if you make sure he's thirsty before you take him to the river."

thank you my ftiend , Very good wisdom, and can I get more clarification around?

Do I stop sex with my wife for example?

[Numex 2,409]

Is your marriage arranged by the parents or like a western culture marriage ?

 

My wife arranged our marriage. It was a shotgun wedding.

[NewSw 37]

I have a follow-up comment in the form of a question.

 

Is your marriage arranged by the parents or like a western culture marriage ?

 

لدي تعليق متابعة في شكل سؤال.

 

هل زواجك مرتب من قبل الوالدين أو مثل زواج الثقافة الغربية

We have been in love since childhood 10 years

[NewSw 37]

My wife arranged our marriage. It was a shotgun wedding.

 

How ?

[NewSw 37]

Simply stated to do this in Yemen is life threatening to your wife both culturally and legally. She can be executed by the State, for doing this. You are not in a position to protect her, since you would be an accomplice. It becomes even more complex than this, yet these are the basics.

Maybe do not get to the execution, yes you are very dangerous, and yet I know couples are doing this, but very confidential and cautious , thank you my friends

[NewSw 37]

A swinger's club in Yemen? Who knew?

There are no clubs here, Unfortunately not allowed here . thank you my friend

[NewSw 37]

Does anyone have any other suggestions or ideas, please?

[padoc 1,703]

I think life in Yemen is generally pretty dangerous. I would not tempt fate by doing something that would offend the religious types.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

Does anyone have any other suggestions or ideas, please?

Plan a long-term vacation trip to a place where swinging is well-accepted and more familiar. Along with this, create an on-line profile at a swingers' hook-up Web site that is active in whichever region you might choose for your visit. I know the Web sites that are best in the United States of America but have no idea which are best in Europe. In spite of its disadvantages, the Adult Friend Finder Web site seems to have the widest international presence. Example: a few years ago, we used AFF to made contact with an Israeli couple before we made a vacation trip.

 

I hope this helps.

[Guest]

Move house!

[Numex 2,409]

Does anyone have any other suggestions or ideas, please?

Travel to Europe. There are many opportunities there for your wife to find what she wants. Ask her first and do your research.

[NewSw 37]

I think life in Yemen is generally pretty dangerous. I would not tempt fate by doing something that would offend the religious types.

 

yes that's right, especially for now, thank you

[NewSw 37]

Plan a long-term vacation trip to a place where swinging is well-accepted and more familiar. Along with this, create an on-line profile at a swingers' hook-up Web site that is active in whichever region you might choose for your visit. I know the Web sites that are best in the United States of America but have no idea which are best in Europe. In spite of its disadvantages, the Adult Friend Finder Web site seems to have the widest international presence. Example: a few years ago, we used AFF to made contact with an Israeli couple before we made a vacation trip.

 

I hope this helps.

 

thank you

[NewSw 37]

Move house!

 

why ?

[NewSw 37]

Travel to Europe. There are many opportunities there for your wife to find what she wants. Ask her first and do your research.

 

thank you

[Guest]

why ?

 

If swinging is dangerous / illegal in your country would it not be better to simply to move to another countery where its legal?

[Numex 2,409]

If swinging is dangerous / illegal in your country would it not be better to simply to move to another countery where its legal?

Agreed, or simply visit another country where it is legal and the opportunities plentiful. Although another possibility is to find a like-minded couple or single (depending on what turns your wife on) to play with. Clearly this wouldn't have the openness, freedom, or variety of a regular swinging situation, but if you go slowly and carefully you could find some friends for sexual adventures, and several friends getting together in a private home is unlikely to draw attention.

[NewSw 37]

If swinging is dangerous / illegal in your country would it not be better to simply to move to another countery where its legal?

 

right opinion, we may not be able to move away from the country permanently, but we will arrange a rather long vacation for that

[NewSw 37]

Agreed, or simply visit another country where it is legal and the opportunities plentiful. Although another possibility is to find a like-minded couple or single (depending on what turns your wife on) to play with. Clearly this wouldn't have the openness, freedom, or variety of a regular swinging situation, but if you go slowly and carefully you could find some friends for sexual adventures, and several friends getting together in a private home is unlikely to draw attention.

 

Right opinion, we may not be able to move away from the country permanently, but we will arrange a rather long vacation for that.

Which country do you suggest?

[Numex 2,409]

... country do you suggest?

The US, and in our limited foreign experience, Germany and France.

[Guest]

Vacation in Desires in Mexico or similar places in Europe.

[NewSw 37]

The US, and in our limited foreign experience, Germany and France.

 

nice, I think Germans are the most passionate about lifestyle ,

I think you have a long history, my dear

[NewSw 37]

Vacation in Desires in Mexico or similar places in Europe.

 

yes, Mexicans are great, we have many friends on Twitter