The wife has a question

[BlueStagg 57]

As I've stated in previous threads, my wife and I are very new to the lifestyle. We are only really interested in hotwife MFM type encounters and have at 2 threesomes so far with one guy.

 

We are talking to others but have yet to act on them.

 

The question my wife has is how many play partners do most of you keep around at a given time? Do you try and limit it to a certain few? Or just go with the flow as it comes?

 

She loves talking and getting to know the potential matches, but also does not want to set herself up to juggle too many guys and be overwhelmed trying to keep up.

 

Just curious how everyone else does it. Thanks!

[adamgunn 1,460]

We are active on SLS. Perhaps half of her threesome men are one night stands, others visit us a few times a year. So we have maybe five or six men available when she's in a mood. She plays in threesomes once or twice a month.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

I think you'll probably get a wide variety of answers on this since there are lots of ways to swing. We've always kept it simple and kept our focus on just one or two singles/couples at a time. That's just us though, for others, something else may work great for them.

[BlueStagg 57]

I think you'll probably get a wide variety of answers on this since there are lots of ways to swing. We've always kept it simple and kept our focus on just one or two singles/couples at a time. That's just us though, for others, something else may work great for them.

 

Is that because your wife likes to build a connection? My wife isn't as into a one night stand... not because she's looking for love, but she needs a little more than physical attraction to sleep with someone.

[machiavel55 81]

Is that because your wife likes to build a connection? My wife isn't as into a one night stand... not because she's looking for love, but she needs a little more than physical attraction to sleep with someone.

 

I hope you do know that most humans when they sense they're starting to have feelings for someone will rarely want or be able to really control them.

[BlueStagg 57]

I hope you do know that most humans when they sense they're starting to have feelings for someone will rarely want or be able to really control them.

 

If true feelings come up she will back off from that person. She brought that up, not me.

 

A connection is NOT the same thing

[shy_couple 459]

It’s either feast or famine for us. Usually 2-3 couples interested at once or months long dry spells.

 

We are infrequent players because of work and family commitment so rarely more than once be playmate at a time.

[BlueStagg 57]

It’s either feast or famine for us. Usually 2-3 couples interested at once or months long dry spells.

 

We are infrequent players because of work and family commitment so rarely more than once be playmate at a time.

 

Seeking couples probably makes it harder. We only have looked for single males so far.

[enjoyingfun 69]

I understand completely. We have a couple of guys that we play with. I know exactly what I am in for with them. Sometimes I want the excitement of meeting a new man and the fun that can go along that. It depends on my mood and you can always so no. This is a great way to get what your in the mood for. You never know maybe you can find a number of playmates to enjoy and you will know when to stop with one or more and when to look for other experiences. Your in charge of what you are looking for. Taking your pick is much of the fun.

[machiavel55 81]

If true feelings come up she will back off from that person. She brought that up, not me.

 

A connection is NOT the same thing

 

Care to elaborate?

[cplnuswing 4,713]

Is that because your wife likes to build a connection? My wife isn't as into a one night stand... not because she's looking for love, but she needs a little more than physical attraction to sleep with someone.

 

Well, that, and she likes to do a little harmless flirting too It's not just her, we both like to have connection with our playmates. We find it much more fun and rewarding that way.

 

If true feelings come up she will back off from that person. She brought that up, not me.

 

A connection is NOT the same thing

 

And yes, I don't mean soulmate sharing secrets connection. Just having casually gotten to know someone a little bit before the clothes come off. I'm not talking three dates worth, but not 30 seconds worth walking to the playroom either.

[BlueStagg 57]

Care to elaborate?

 

Yes, my wife loves me. I trust that to my death. She can have a connection with someone that isn't love while still not just having a one night stand

[hkdilbert 182]

If true feelings come up she will back off from that person. She brought that up, not me.

 

A connection is NOT the same thing

 

True, however it can be a fine line that separates the two though and if not extremely careful easy to go from one to the other.

[ViSexual 1,008]

We had one couple at a time when we were participating. And, as far as I know, those couples were one at a time as well. The one guy might have been with several other couples during the time we saw him, and that was quite OK. Hey, he was single. I liked him and he and I saw each other without my wife, just as friends. My wife really liked him and that's all that mattered for all three of us. Being good friends, with benefits, isn't love at all.

[Guest]

We started with MFM with a guy we knew (had met him and his wife previously) but most of our other MFM were guys we met at bars, resorts, and nudist places. After the first few, we ventured to a couples club where we did a swap with another couple. Next time we went, we didn’t see them and did one with a different couple. Basically, you got to know the various couples that came, and there were some regulars but there was no sense of exclusivity with any other them. So my take is that it isn’t really an issue of concern for your wife.

[BlueStagg 57]

We started with MFM with a guy we knew (had met him and his wife previously) but most of our other MFM were guys we met at bars, resorts, and nudist places. After the first few, we ventured to a couples club where we did a swap with another couple. Next time we went, we didn’t see them and did one with a different couple. Basically, you got to know the various couples that came, and there were some regulars but there was no sense of exclusivity with any other them. So my take is that it isn’t really an issue of concern for your wife.

 

Yea we are not exclusive to anyone. That would set up the possibility of more feelings

[couplers 4,640]

.. The question my wife has is how many play partners do most of you keep around at a given time? Do you try and limit it to a certain few? Or just go with the flow as it comes?

 

She loves talking and getting to know the potential matches, but also does not want to set herself up to juggle too many guys and be overwhelmed trying to keep up.

Men are flattered that a woman wants to have sex with them, so in reality she's in control. Just let the guys know that it is a "Don't contact me, I'll call you," arrangement. It's like clothes in the closet, you may not wear it often, but it's good to have it available.

[BlueStagg 57]

Men are flattered that a woman wants to have sex with them, so in reality she's in control. Just let the guys know that it is a "Don't contact me, I'll call you," arrangement. It's like clothes in the closet, you may not wear it often, but it's good to have it available.

 

We keep it so they can only contact on KIK. This way when we are in the mood, we go on there. If not, our phones never blow up

[Erik13 157]

My wife had 4 or 5 regular single guys, and they all recently ghosted.

[Chris&Suzanne 204]

when we have a compatible couple we will stay with them. The four of us may find another couple as well.

 

As you can tell we don't swing much, just occasionally.

[MadlyInLuv 94]

Care to elaborate?

 

I'm answering for him, but I think he means that it would be cool if the person was someone that she might actually be friends with if they had just met casually in vanilla universe. In other words, someone that she finds interesting. You don't have to develop feelings for people just to feel like you are comfortable or connect with a person.

[BlueStagg 57]

I'm answering for him, but I think he means that it would be cool if the person was someone that she might actually be friends with if they had just met casually in vanilla universe. In other words, someone that she finds interesting. You don't have to develop feelings for people just to feel like you are comfortable or connect with a person.

 

Bingo. Very well said

[bbarnsworth 2,637]

I hope you do know that most humans when they sense they're starting to have feelings for someone will rarely want or be able to really control them.

 

Actually I've found the opposite. There are outliers, to be sure, but most mature adults are quite capable of recognizing such situation and dealing with them appropriately. I'm sorry your experience has apparently been different, Machiavel.

[kittyswinger 260]

The question my wife has is how many play partners do most of you keep around at a given time? Do you try and limit it to a certain few? Or just go with the flow as it comes?

It depends on your swinging style. If you prefer ONS type of encounters for your 3somes, there are no limits. But if your wife is like myself that prefers regular partners that I connect with, I limit it to 2 (in addition to my SO that I live with) for time-management sustainability :-)

[EastInWest 1,524]

We're fairly casual/non-serious about this, but we're in the "go with the flow" camp.

 

We have two couples we visit long-distance when we can and a local female we're hanging out with semi-regularly. We also keep an eye out for spontaneous opportunities when we're out of town but aren't actively trying to add more repeat partners to the mix. If it came up, or the right solo out-of-town situation appeared, we'd be into it.

[Prim30 15]

Is that because your wife likes to build a connection? My wife isn't as into a one night stand... not because she's looking for love, but she needs a little more than physical attraction to sleep with someone.

 

I agree a connection would be a must. Someone you have known for awhile and who’s company you enjoy. I guess there are many people we meet throughout life who we do think warmly apon.

[M1F2KTJ 473]

She has never had more than two even though we "go with the flow". It seems when one fades away there is another to step in. Sometimes it is only that one special playmate for a while.

[vaitape 35]

For us, there really isn't a plan. We have 3 to 4 'regulars' that we would interact with but not opposed to the random one night stand either. Having free time is always the issue, not the partner/partners for us.

 

More the merrier, in our opinion.

[Cleve76Pom 24]

Over the years you develop a network of friends and contacts. Some of us keep within that group, others are always looking for new adventures. We stay within a group of 8 couples (approx.) and we have been with each of them many times....on occasion, we will seek outside action, but not very often