What's in it for the husband.

[certero 28]

Hey all. I realize that I might be over simplifying this topic but just to illustrate my point.

 

In the lifestyle it seem the ones who really have it made are the couple who are completely satisfied with the MMF scenario or maybe even more so where the husband/hotwife have the whole cuckold thing they love to do. Now don't get me wrong. The idea/fantasy of my wife having a threesome with me and another man is kind of hot (taboo/give her maximum pleasure etc.) and something we might both be open to. I'm/We're definitely not into the cuckold type scenario/mentality at all, although I don't knock people who are. It's just not my thing. But at the end of the day I'd kind of like to think that this thing my wife and I are exploring will suit both our desires.

 

So for the men who's wives aren't bi/bi curious etc. and want more than just to have MMF with their wife. Maybe they want FFM or just MF. Is your only hope to do a swap with another couple. Which from what I have been hearing can be difficult to find a match where all four are on the same page with each other, and your chances of success when sticking to the couple thing go way down. Just wondering how the dynamics work for some of you so everyone gets a piece of the pie. lol Thanks

[BlueStagg 57]

Hey all. I realize that I might be over simplifying this topic but just to illustrate my point.

 

In the lifestyle it seem the ones who really have it made are the couple who are completely satisfied with the MMF scenario or maybe even more so where the husband/hotwife have the whole cuckold thing they love to do. Now don't get me wrong. The idea/fantasy of my wife having a threesome with me and another man is kind of hot(taboo/give her maximum pleasure etc)and something we might both be open to. I'm/We're definitely not into the cuckold type scenario/mentality at all, although I don't knock people who are. Its just not my thing. But at the end of the day id kind of like to think that this thing my wife and I are exploring will suit both our desires.

 

So for the men who's wives aren't bi/bi curious etc and want more then just to have MMF with their wife.Maybe they want FFM or just MF . Is your only hope to do a swap with another couple. Which from what I have been hearing can be difficult to find a match where all four are on the same page with each other, and your chances of success when sticking to the couple thing go way down. Just wondering how the dynamics work for some of you so everyone gets a piece of the pie. lol Thanks

 

Going off the title of your thread.... my wife and I got into the lifestyle because I had a hotwife fantasy. It's all we have done and are looking for. What's in it for me? I am living out my fantasy of watching my wife having sex with another man.

 

I am also an active participant.

[adamgunn 1,460]

We swing and do MFMs (Where you put the second M matters - MFM means the guys just have sex with the wife, MMF means the guys are bi.) I'm not bi, and I love watching my wife flirt and seduce a man, then take him to bed. It's like porn.

 

If I could describe a 'typical' night with a new man, it would go this way: We meet him at a bar to size him up. The wife gives me a code word that means it's on, I make the invitation for him to come over to our house. We hang out, another drink, then find our way to the bedroom. I watch as they get into it. Sometimes I'll let her play with me as he's performing oral on her, but not always. I continue to watch as they screw. Then when he starts slowing down, after he's come, I take over and she and I go at it. Often, the other guy gets so aroused watching us play that he's ready to go again when I slow down.

 

We have a great time with this, and I certainly get my 'piece of pie.'

[certero 28]

We swing and do MFMs (Where you put the second M matters - MFM means the guys just have sex with the wife, MMF means the guys are bi.) I'm not bi, and I love watching my wife flirt and seduce a man, then take him to bed. It's like porn.

 

If I could describe a 'typical' night with a new man, it would go this way: We meet him at a bar to size him up. The wife gives me a code word that means it's on, I make the invitation for him to come over to our house. We hang out, another drink, then find our way to the bedroom. I watch as they get into it. Sometimes I'll let her play with me as he's performing oral on her, but not always. I continue to watch as they screw. Then when he starts slowing down, after he's come, I take over and she and I go at it. Often, the other guy gets so aroused watching us play that he's ready to go again when I slow down.

 

We have a great time with this, and I certainly get my 'piece of pie.'

 

Thank you for the clarification on MFM VS MMF i did not know that. You might have saved me some embarrassment in the future. LOL

[certero 28]

What's in it for the husbands?

 

FMF for a example is all about the husband in theory anyway.

 

 

Relax and don't over think it, would be good advice. As a couple your a team , set goals as a team and stay the course, you will be surprised how quickly you get there.

 

Best of luck

 

See I guess that's kind of my point. Why is FMF all about the husband but MFM is about the husband AND the wife? Do many wives enjoy seeing their husbands the center of attention the same way they do them? Do many wives enjoy watching their husbands seduce and fuck another women while they watch.Seems like plenty of husbands like to watch their wives. The key word being MANY I realize they're are some.

 

Relax and don't over think it is good advice though. That's what I'm going to try to do .

[BlueStagg 57]

See I guess that's kind of my point. Why is FMF all about the husband but MFM is about the husband AND the wife? Do many wives enjoy seeing their husbands the center of attention the same way they do them? Do many wives enjoy watching their husbands seduce and fuck another women while they watch.Seems like plenty of husbands like to watch their wives. The key word being MANY I realize they're are some.

 

Relax and don't over think it is good advice though. That's what I'm going to try to do .

 

The pleasure in the MFM is all about the wife... I get off on her pleasure as a byproduct I guess. And the sex that follows is AMAZING

[Tahoecple 319]

Confucius say, happy wife make for happy husband.

 

I wouldn’t say it’s all about the wife, I tend to think of it as focused on the wife. As much as guys like to pride themselves on their prowess, the fact is women, if properly stimulated, can outlast any man. If you’ve never been with a woman being tag-teamed with the attention of two men, where one man drives her to the heights of sexual bliss, only to reach his limits and have another man come in and take her higher, you’ve missed the essence of sexual pleasure.

 

Plus, if you’re anything like me, you can’t watch your wife being fucked into ecstasy and not get turned-on by the experience. We’ve had experiences where I’ve shot my wad twice, only to get hard and ready for another go just watching her. I may not get there, but I’m going for all I’m worth.

 

If your wife gets to the place after however many orgasms in a row where she gives up and says, “no more, I just can’t take anymore,” you’re missing a real treat. That woman will do anything for you to make it happen again. So no, I don’t think it’s all about the woman.

[JandKinBoise 858]

There is no recipe. You discuss, you decide a direction, you pursue that direction until a change is needed. Post play talk is very important to bring to light things that were not enjoyable. Going for an mfm because a swap is difficult, will cause problems if the guy sees the mfm play as one sided, which it is. MFMF is difficult but if you are in a populated area, it shouldn't be impossible. It's all in the personal ad and how you lay it out. Read a bunch and see what seems to work. Also, meet and greet parties are a good way to mingle.

[Jane1902 476]

I love MFM. However one of my favorite porn clips is FMF due to the interactions between the three. I have seen MFM clips with no interaction or much touching beyond where the penis goes. I had the most fun playing with two other male friends as we all knew each other well.

At my first party I really enjoyed watching my date with another woman as I knew how good he was making her feel (I was done, orgasmed out) I have since had various fantasies of multiple women on one man. At another party, different date, another woman briefly joined us giving my partner oral with me. She didn’t ask and only flitted by.

 

I discussed much with a couple once but they cancelled the meet and never rescheduled. One man told me he found FMF stressful in he was trying to please two women at once. We all have our different kinks and perspectives. The challenge is finding the right people to share them with.

[certero 28]

You guys are awesome. The insight I gain from you sharing your experiences blows my mind. It’s so refreshing to hear from articulate , intelligent like minded people. The wife and have a trip planned to a club in a couple of weeks. I don’t think we are ready to play with any other couples yet but I think he are both ready to fuck like animals in the group room. I’ll let you know how it goes...

[Numex 2,420]

We do all types of play - MF alone, MFM, FFM, FMF, FMFM, even did some gay play twice to amuse the women. It's all good, but in addition to watching my wife perform and knowing that she's happy, I really love having sex with other women in a variety of situations. That's what we both get out of it.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

What's in it for me as the husband? Simple, I like seeing her happy and having fun. What's in it for her? Simple, she likes seeing me happy and having fun. It really comes down to just that, and it doesn't matter if the scenario is a threesome or with another couple.

[EastInWest 1,524]

I'm slightly exhibitionistic, slightly voyeuristic, and have a significant blowjob/cumshot fetish going.

 

Watching Mrs. E suck cock and/or take a load on her chest while I fuck her with an audience works on multiple levels.

[machiavel55 81]

The pleasure in the MFM is all about the wife... I get off on her pleasure as a byproduct I guess. And the sex that follows is AMAZING

 

You seem to know exactly what you like, etc....When you say you get off on her pleasure, you mean you’re aroused, can masturbate to completion watching her with him?

 

Also, I'm curious, which of the 3 following scenarios turns you on the most:

1- The sex she has with him is good but not very passionate

2- They show some passion, lots of kissing

3- Total passion, staring into each others eyes, kissing, whispering to each other, she acts like, at that moment, she’s completely forgotten about you.

[BlueStagg 57]

You seem to know exactly what you like, etc....When you say you get off on her pleasure, you mean you’re aroused, can masturbate to completion watching her with him?

 

Also, I'm curious, which of the 3 following scenarios turns you on the most:

1- The sex she has with him is good but not very passionate

2- They show some passion, lots of kissing

3- Total passion, staring into each others eyes, kissing, whispering to each other, she acts like, at that moment, she’s completely forgotten about you.

 

I COULD easily get off masturbating watching but I don't like to. My recovery isn't super fast so I like to ravage my wife once they are done.

 

2- is pretty much where I'm at

[padoc 1,703]

I'll probably sound like a slut here but we enjoy the idea of and have participated in full swap, soft swap, MFM or FMF. In full or soft swap, I enjoy watching my wife with the other guy while I'm with his woman in the same room. Separate rooms, is sometimes even better, hearing sounds next door, knowing what they mean, imagining what it looks like can be really erotic.

 

MFM for us is focused on her and I enjoy participating in giving her as much pleasure as she can stand. Eventually, both guys get off with her or she simply orgasms out. Either way, I like it best when we leave her like a dishrag on the bed, satisfied, tired and smiling.

 

FMF is the reverse of MFM for me. When she and another woman just use me up. I try to give them both as much pleasure as possible but eventually succumb to the touch of four hands, two mouths, four boobs etc…!

 

One of my best FMF experiences happened at Trapeze in Ft Lauderdale. Mrs Doc and I had just gone into a semi private room, lost our towels and started to play. She was giving me a slow, sloppy bj just to start off. A couple stood at the open door for a bit watching. The woman, about 10 years younger and attractive then us asked, "can I help you with that"? When my wife motioned her in, she dropped her towel and got on her knees on the other side of me and they both started in. Mrs Doc invited the guy over, anticipating a 4-some because he had an obvious boner under his towel. He just smiled and shook his head no and continued to watch intently. Both women concentrated on me until I came hard in the strange woman mouth. She swallowed, kissed my wife, kissed me then took her guys hand and walked out with a smile and a "thank you". We didn't get their names and never saw them again. The only down side to that night was that this took place rather early, about 11:30, and I was done for the night.

[njbm 2,880]

You seem to know exactly what you like, etc....When you say you get off on her pleasure, you mean you’re aroused, can masturbate to completion watching her with him?

 

Also, I'm curious, which of the 3 following scenarios turns you on the most:

1- The sex she has with him is good but not very passionate

2- They show some passion, lots of kissing

3- Total passion, staring into each others eyes, kissing, whispering to each other, she acts like, at that moment, she’s completely forgotten about you.

I pick door number 2.

[BlueStagg 57]

I pick door number 2.

 

Yea I actually enjoy that my wife looks at me and reaches to me while she's being fucked

[machiavel55 81]

I COULD easily get off masturbating watching but I don't like to. My recovery isn't super fast so I like to ravage my wife once they are done.

 

2- is pretty much where I'm at

 

first, thanks for your response. Question, why 2...would 3 be a problem?

[bbarnsworth 2,640]

first, thanks for your response. Question, why 2...would 3 be a problem?

 

I think for many people in the swinger lifestyle the idea of your spouse having "total passion, staring into each others eyes" for the person they are playing with is a bit off limits. That gets into polyamory, rather than swinging.

[machiavel55 81]

Hey all. I realize that I might be over simplifying this topic but just to illustrate my point.

 

In the lifestyle it seem the ones who really have it made are the couple who are completely satisfied with the MMF scenario or maybe even more so where the husband/hotwife have the whole cuckold thing they love to do. Now don't get me wrong. The idea/fantasy of my wife having a threesome with me and another man is kind of hot (taboo/give her maximum pleasure etc.) and something we might both be open to. I'm/We're definitely not into the cuckold type scenario/mentality at all, although I don't knock people who are. It's just not my thing. But at the end of the day I'd kind of like to think that this thing my wife and I are exploring will suit both our desires.

 

So for the men who's wives aren't bi/bi curious etc. and want more than just to have MMF with their wife. Maybe they want FFM or just MF. Is your only hope to do a swap with another couple. Which from what I have been hearing can be difficult to find a match where all four are on the same page with each other, and your chances of success when sticking to the couple thing go way down. Just wondering how the dynamics work for some of you so everyone gets a piece of the pie. lol Thanks

 

To say that the couples in only mfm, hotwifing or cuckold dynamics are the ones that have it made in the LS makes no sense at all.

 

First, hotwife couples have a 70% rate of failure, for cucks its much worse, its over 90%.

 

If a couple starts doing only mfms, etc…its because the husband (and the wife) now prefers that, period.

 

Most of the men, my buddies, I grew up with and who are still friends, are men for whom there will never be enough pussy. Some have been at one time or still are swingers, occasionally (once a year maybe) they will set up an mfm for their wife, but 99% of the time they want couple swaps.

Likewise, a swinger husband who likes pussy a lot will not suddenly decide he’s satisfied with only his wife getting strange because couple swaps are difficult to set up.

He will wait for the couple swap to happen.

 

Your post reminds me of the many men through the years, who have posted on swinger boards that with their wife they’ve stopped couple swaps and decided to do only MFMs because its so easy to set up compared to couple swaps that are so complicated to achieve.

Sure, that’s the reason….what a load of crap.

 

I wish these men would just say that to watch and sometimes participate in mfms or more is their preference. That’s all.

I think maybe that, at first, admitting a preference for mfm is harder for some men, not all, to admit, maybe they feel that it makes them lesser men because of the beliefs most men grow up with. I don’t know.

[adamgunn 1,460]

"I think for many people in the swinger lifestyle the idea of your spouse having "total passion, staring into each others eyes" for the person they are playing with is a bit off limits."

 

My wife has reacted that way to the men she's with quite a few times. Usually as she's getting very close to orgasm. I don't mind, as soon as the guy's out the door she's mine again. And often, she doesn't play again with the guy she had 'total passion' with. Sometimes, the LifeStyle is about abandonment of notions, with a return to them after the escapade is over.

[BlueStagg 57]

To say that the couples in only mfm, hotwifing or cuckold dynamics are the ones that have it made in the LS makes no sense at all.

 

First, hotwife couples have a 70% rate of failure, for cucks its much worse, its over 90%.

 

If a couple starts doing only mfms, etc…its because the husband (and the wife) now prefers that, period.

 

Most of the men, my buddies, I grew up with and who are still friends, are men for whom there will never be enough pussy. Some have been at one time or still are swingers, occasionally (once a year maybe) they will set up an mfm for their wife, but 99% of the time they want couple swaps.

Likewise, a swinger husband who likes pussy a lot will not suddenly decide he’s satisfied with only his wife getting strange because couple swaps are difficult to set up.

He will wait for the couple swap to happen.

 

Your post reminds me of the many men through the years, who have posted on swinger boards that with their wife they’ve stopped couple swaps and decided to do only MFMs because its so easy to set up compared to couple swaps that are so complicated to achieve.

Sure, that’s the reason….what a load of crap.

 

I wish these men would just say that to watch and sometimes participate in mfms or more is their preference. That’s all.

I think maybe that, at first, admitting a preference for mfm is harder for some men, not all, to admit, maybe they feel that it makes them lesser men because of the beliefs most men grow up with. I don’t know.

 

Hotwife couples have a 70% failure rate as in divorce ??

[bbarnsworth 2,640]

Hotwife couples have a 70% failure rate as in divorce ??

 

I'd be curious to know where this figure comes from. There's little in the way of hard data about the swinger world. It's not an area where sociologists tend to tread.

[BlueStagg 57]

I'd be curious to know where this figure comes from. There's little in the way of hard data about the swinger world. It's not an area where sociologists tend to tread.

 

I fully agree with you.

[Lionheart72 2,190]

I'd be curious to know where this figure comes from. There's little in the way of hard data about the swinger world. It's not an area where sociologists tend to tread.

 

83% of statistics you read on the internet are made up on the spot.

[adamgunn 1,460]

Yeah, I also doubt the 70% figure. But this got me thinking. (Yeah, I know . . . but sometimes, I really do think I can think!)

 

I posted a rant/question in the thread, "Is there a need for accurate definitions?" I'd appreciate your comments.

[padoc 1,703]

I wondered the same thing.We've been swinging for more than 15 years and have met hundreds of couples. Please understand that we've not been intimate with all of them or even half of them but open swingers are a very small portion of the general population. So, I'd say we've met and talked with a lot of swingers in two hotbeds (pun!!) of this hobby, the Northeast I-95 corridor and South Florida. I'd think we have a decent sized sample. Most of those we've known are still in their marriage/relationship and many are still swinging. We do know of several couples who have split over those 15 years but I don't think the number is any more than one would find in the non-swinging population and I speculate that it's proportionately much smaller than the general population.

 

Did you see what I did there Mac? I used direct experiences and personal knowledge to draw conclusions. What I didn't do is throw out numbers and make up statistics without data and present them as fact. You should try it my way, it makes your comments more credible

[adamgunn 1,460]

PaDoc, now you've done it. We all know michavel is a troll, and now the two of you are going to go at each other. Guess I'll have to drop out of this thread as well . . .

[padoc 1,703]

Did I say something that wasn't accurate?

[yorktownvaguy 76]

From what I hear:

1. It is the ultimate turn on for a lot of men to watch their women get satisfied.

2. The ultimate porn show, watching your woman in the act!

 

At least that's in a nutshell what I have heard from couples I've joined.

[Numex 2,420]

83% of statistics you read on the internet are made up on the spot.

And the other half is dubious.

[certero 28]

To say that the couples in only mfm, hotwifing or cuckold dynamics are the ones that have it made in the LS makes no sense at all.

 

First, hotwife couples have a 70% rate of failure, for cucks its much worse, its over 90%.

 

If a couple starts doing only mfms, etc…its because the husband (and the wife) now prefers that, period.

 

Most of the men, my buddies, I grew up with and who are still friends, are men for whom there will never be enough pussy. Some have been at one time or still are swingers, occasionally (once a year maybe) they will set up an mfm for their wife, but 99% of the time they want couple swaps.

Likewise, a swinger husband who likes pussy a lot will not suddenly decide he’s satisfied with only his wife getting strange because couple swaps are difficult to set up.

He will wait for the couple swap to happen.

 

Your post reminds me of the many men through the years, who have posted on swinger boards that with their wife they’ve stopped couple swaps and decided to do only MFMs because its so easy to set up compared to couple swaps that are so complicated to achieve.

Sure, that’s the reason….what a load of crap.

 

I wish these men would just say that to watch and sometimes participate in mfms or more is their preference. That’s all.

I think maybe that, at first, admitting a preference for mfm is harder for some men, not all, to admit, maybe they feel that it makes them lesser men because of the beliefs most men grow up with. I don’t know.

 

Yeah I'm a little confused on what you meant about hot wife failure rate lol? However I do agree with you on the loving pussy thing 100%. That's why I was starting to scratch my head a little bit while Ive been reading lately. It seems to me that there is alot more talk about maximizing the wife's pleasure then it is for hubby(and I'm not just talking about happy wife happy life lol). I think the majority of responses on this thread lean toward that theme.. I'm not criticizing at all. I'm just curious. Hopefully Ill have some sort of experience to share with you all shortly.