Still green at this....

[Toms_the6 23]

Hello everybody! My husband have decided that after what feels like forever in talking about it we would finally jump in to this wonderful world.

We have been taking our time and not overwhelming ourselves or letting it completely consume our relationship with each other.

We met a couple online and after 2 weeks of taking we ended up meeting for dinner and hitting a club. This being or very first sex club. As much as I said I wasn’t nervous man we’re my palms sweating as we got out of the car.

My first lesson learned.... I dont want to ever go back to this club on single male night :0 single men were getting a tad bit too close and making us all very uncomfortable. The bonus was that it gave us a chance to really talk to the other couple we went with. And the 4 of us have hit it off unbelievably well. There is quite a distance between where we live so it will help to ensure we take it slow. We are however talking in a group chat all the time. About life, the weather and also but not only sex.

We live in Toronto Canada and I feel like I can’t find a lot of the more low key swingingly lifestyle here. Everything seems to be big and over the top. And not really what I’m hoping to start off with. Even the club we went to was at the other end of the city

But I guess as time goes on maybe my eyes will widen a bit? I’m assuming I wont see any billboards that say “swingers party here!” Lol

I can say that as my husband and I have decided to take this leap our relationship couldn’t be better. Is this normal? Like sex twice a day and can’t keep our eyes off one another.

Any advice for a new couple would be great!

[adamgunn 1,461]

Glad you had a good time on your first visit.

 

"As much as I said I wasn’t nervous man we’re my palms sweating as we got out of the car." Yeah, that's typical. Over time the palms won't sweat so much, but if you ever get to the point where your heart doesn't start pumping as you walk to the door, let me know. Decades in, I still get that feeling!

 

"I can say that as my husband and I have decided to take this leap our relationship couldn’t be better. Is this normal? Like sex twice a day and can’t keep our eyes off one another." That just means you're doing it right! There's an old saying that the more sex you have, the more sex you want.

 

Welcome to the club!

[BlueStagg 57]

My wife and I have been having incredible sex, all the time since we made the leap... it's brought us closer outside the bedroom as well

[GoldCoCouple 4,068]

Being able to talk about anything, to know you won't be judged, to just be open...it IS great and its all a part of what makes swinging so incredible. Is it normal...absolutely! Keep taking it at your own pace and just enjoy the ride.

[GoldCoCouple 4,068]

...and never go to a club on a night that allows single men (unless that is what you are looking for).

[ViSexual 1,008]

It is about great communication, isn't it? Before my wife and I experienced swinging, it seemed like we both were careful about what we said about other people we found attractive or appealing. And after we experienced swinging, it's like we're best friends who feel free to say someone is a hunk or a hottie.

[njbm 2,901]

Lots of clubs near or in Toronto.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

Sounds like you are off to a great start! Successfully getting into swinging, and reaping those rewards that you already seeing, has a lot to do with how one goes about it, and you're doing things right.

 

My advice would be don't let any one thing, positive or negative, sway you far one way or another. Example being the single guys at clubs. Instead of letting that turn you off to the whole thing, you just rolled with it and learned from it. That's the way to do it, never get too up or too down over any one night or one thing that happened. After a little time experiencing different things, you will have found the swinging style that works best for you and you can kind of focus in on that.

 

It's always awesome to hear from someone new about how things are going well and the positives it is bringing to the relationship. Those of us that have been doing this a little longer well remember when we were new and experiencing the same things and it's nice to get to relive that again through someone else's eyes and feelings!

[EastInWest 1,524]

If you think the sex is picking up steam now, wait until the reclamation fucking after you actually swap.

[BlueStagg 57]

If you think the sex is picking up steam now, wait until the reclamation fucking after you actually swap.

 

So so amazing!

[bbarnsworth 2,652]

Hello everybody! My husband have decided that after what feels like forever in talking about it we would finally jump in to this wonderful world.

 

Plenty of couples take a lot of time to go from first considering the idea to actually doing it. Nothing unusual here

 

My first lesson learned.... I dont want to ever go back to this club on single male night :0 single men were getting a tad bit too close and making us all very uncomfortable.

 

Yes, this is a real problem with nights as clubs when single men are allowed. Any regulars who go to the club that night know and are looking for one or many other male partners. It's not really a good night to dip your toes. Not that single men are necessarily bad, just that the vibe for such a night is not a good one for a couple just getting into the lifestyle, as you found out!

 

We live in Toronto Canada and I feel like I can’t find a lot of the more low key swingingly lifestyle here. Everything seems to be big and over the top. And not really what I’m hoping to start off with. Even the club we went to was at the other end of the city But I guess as time goes on maybe my eyes will widen a bit? I’m assuming I wont see any billboards that say “swingers party here!” Lol

 

Well, don't take the 401 during rush hour trying to get to a swinger club

 

Toronto is a flat out amazing city with tons of opportunities in all sorts of things. I've never engaged in swinging there (my then girlfriend there and I never even broached the subject with each other...ah, youth ) but I'm sure there's plenty of opportunities for just the sort of thing you're looking for in swinging. At a guess, it sounds like a club might not be the right way for you. It isn't for my wife. I'm more in tune with the club scene, but it needs to work for both of us. We haven't been to a club in some years now. You can get along just fine in the lifestyle without going to swinger clubs.

 

I can say that as my husband and I have decided to take this leap our relationship couldn’t be better. Is this normal? Like sex twice a day and can’t keep our eyes off one another. Any advice for a new couple would be great!

 

This is very, very common. A new level of trust, closeness, and intimacy has been reached. It's a very powerful relationship boost. This also tends to tell me that the two of you are ready for this. The #1 piece of advice for all couples getting into this; keep the communication 100% open, 100% without judgment, 100% without ridicule. Be completely open and honest with each other. As has been said here many times, swinging is a relationship magnifying glass. If your relationship is troubled, it will magnify that. If your relationship is great and you are truly in love, it will magnify that. Sounds like you're the latter

[adamgunn 1,461]

Just to address the single males at swing clubs, Toms. I assume the club you went to allowed a large amounts of single males the night you were there, and I know that such an environment is weird at least.

 

However . . . A reasonable amount of single males that are verified can add a nice little spice to the mix. At our club, DJs Island outside of Pittsburgh, on any given night you'll find a few. Every one of them was verified by a member couple, and the first time they come they have to arrive and leave with the couple that verified them. After that, if there's an opening and they passed the first test, they're welcome to come any night they want. But the owners keep a check on it, I believe it's one male for every eight couples. And if they ever cross the line - everybody knows exactly where that line is - their membership is revoked and they're never welcome at the club again. It doesn't happen very often, guys who are verified are quite respectful

 

My wife likes the occasional single male if we can't find a couple to play with, or late in the evening when I've had some fun and she's still raring to go.

 

Best of luck to you!