Our observations after many swinger meet and greet dinners

[MadlyInLuv 94]

The wife and I were discussing all of our swinging meet and greet dinners that never panned out. Many of them went really well and proceeded to planning stages for a date, but then aborted close to go-time.

 

This could be just our perspective, but to us there seems to be a lot of people that fall into one of the following categories:

 

-- They are in it to try to find a female for the wife. They have failed finding a unicorn, and so they have moved to the couples category and think they can just 'figure it out' and tolerate the spouse. Some of them even imply that they center around the girl play and get dodgy about what the guys are going to do while all of this is going down.

 

-- The husband is clearly into it, and the wife acts into it but she doesn't interact as much. This inevitably ends in a last minute permanent flake where they disappear from the universe all of a sudden.

 

-- Chatters. They meet for dinner and get excited. They chat enthusiastically for sometimes weeks trying to line schedules up. Time comes around for the play date and they bail.

 

 

It's actually a welcome relief when couples figure out that our interests don't align very quickly and stop talking. That saves EVERYONE a lot of wasted time. I have a lot of regular good ol' American vanilla hobbies in my wife and I really don't want to waste weeks of energy for something that isn't going to go anywhere.

[GoldCoCouple 4,068]

Don't forget the guys that set up a meet thinking that they will tell the wife it's 'just dinner' (and not dinner with swingers) and either the wife refuses to go or the husband is hoping that the wife will just sign on when she finds out what is happening. There's also the guys that get a charge setting up the meeting with no intention of going (usually because the wife would kill him if they knew what he was doing).

[shy_couple 460]

I do have to agree for the most part...We wanna to meet, check the chemistry, and everyone’s attraction levels before moving to play time. BUT....we really don’t needs to be friends first. Just know there is attraction and chemistry. If so, we are ready. We don’t need a second date. In fact, it is often difficult to scheduled a first date with four people, a second is almost more work than we can handle.

 

Like you said, we don’t want to seem slutty, we are far from it but our time the this particular recreational activity is quite low. We do state in our profile that if we click we play on the first date. Then at the same time we have single men and couple LS try to get us to commit to play dates or specific sexual activities before we meet. Sorry, we aren’t slutty and don’t commit to this anymore Neil we meet and judge if we are attracted, like, and trust you enough to be invited to our bed. Then again, we know within about half an hour after meeting (1 drink) if there is interest in knowing more strong indication if we would like to play or not. Don’t really see the point in dragging it out over multiple dates, days, or weeks.

 

Several years ago we corresponded with a couple. Decided to go to dinner on a Saturday night. Picked a spot not too out of the way for both. Was waiting, got a text that said run I g late. Go ahead and eat we’ll be there for dessert. Waited a few minutes and than ordered. Diner came, we ate, an hour rolled by. Got another text saying traffic was bad another 30-45 minutes. We said screw it, paid our bill and went for a walk. We found a little coffee and pastry shop open late and told them to meet us for coffee at the bistro. They arrived 45 minutes or so later. He was like “let’s do this thangg” and she just wasn’t attractive at all. We had a coffee and piece of cake and left about 45 minutes later. Oh, this was also our turning point that we must see face pics first. It’s all live and learn.

 

PS Since we mentioned keeping up appearances; there is a great British comedy for the peeps who enjoy those called Keeping Up Appearances that is worth binging