Soft Swap Above the Waist

[njbeachcouple 21]

After a lot of conversation, my wife says she's willing to try soft swap if the touching is only above the waist. I'm wondering if anyone else has dealt with this and if it worked out. I suspect that she'll eventually drop the requirement, but wondering if above the waist only would be a turnoff to other newbies or experience swingers.

[BlueStagg 57]

After a lot of conversation, my wife says she's willing to try soft swap if the touching is only above the waist. I'm wondering if anyone else has dealt with this and if it worked out. I suspect that she'll eventually drop the requirement, but wondering if above the waist only would be a turnoff to other newbies or experience swingers.

 

If there is any hope of it going further you have to respect her decision now with no expectation to go further. There is no need to dive in faster your wife is ready for.

[MadlyInLuv 94]

This is going to be tough. Lots of couples write off other couples for simply being soft swap only. Not all couples mind you, but it narrows your search.

 

I'm going to recommend something a little crazy: Book the two of you a trip to Hedonism 2 in Jamaica. Here is why: As long as you both can handle seeing OTHER people have sex publicly -- it will be easier for her to experience this very specific requirement. In fact, there were women and men making out in the pool and just touching breasts in the pool at all hours. There was NO pressure. None at all. You could just hang out and talk the whole time if you wanted. You can hang in the prude pool with a bathing suit, or (I recommend) hanging out in the nude pool where the party is.

 

It's a controversial piece of advice, I know -- but our first exposure (true exposure) to the Lifestyle was at Hedo. We were never pressured at all. We made great friends that we didn't sleep with, and we also saw a lot of crazy stuff. However, my wife has gotten used to people requesting (and being given permission) to touch her breast in the pool. lol

[N&G 207]

What is the wife going to do with the male? Only touch above the waist? We did that once with a couple. The female just wanted her boobs played with while the male half got nothing. It was a waste of our time and one of the reasons we now play with full swap couples only.

[adamgunn 1,460]

As the other posters are pointing out, this is a rather odd kink. It might work, but you'll have a limited number of people that will agree to play that way.

 

You'll have more success if your wife agrees to play with the other man below the waist. If she's amenable to that, yeah, it could work. And how does she feel about you touching the other woman below the belt?

 

And yes, after the initial meet or two, if she doesn't then allow another male to touch her down there, the people who want to play are probably going to walk away.

[Numex 2,417]

We would definitely play with such a couple, soft swap above waist only, especially if it involves watching the other couple have further sexual play and them watching us.

[EastInWest 1,524]

We wouldn't turn down what was basically an advanced makeout session under the right circumstances, but I think you should both be honest with yourselves about the possibility that once you get to that point, hands do have a way of finding themselves down pants. Your wife probably realizes this intuitively and is hesitant to acknowledge it, but it's probably worth making sure, between the two of you, that she knows you won't be judgmental about it.

 

We tried to set some "solo soft swinging" rules for when we're apart for business travel and even in the first conversations, quickly realized the barriers between kissing and handjobs/fingering are almost nonexistent, and once a cock is out and tongues are already mingling, oral just happens.

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

When we started, we had a bunch of silly rules. We quickly saw that they were silly and did away with them. If this is what she needs to get started, then take it and run (but do not violate her rules). They will either be set aside, or she will not be interested in continuing. Good luck and let us know how things progress.

[Numex 2,417]

.. If this is what she needs to get started, then take it and run (but do not violate her rules). ..

Agreed, patience. And enjoy the journey as the adventure unfolds.

[njbeachcouple 21]

The male half got to play with her tits. Doesn't sound so bad to me.

[couplers 4,645]

.. my wife says she's willing to try soft swap if the touching is only above the waist...

Done that with one couple, but involved us watching them fuck and being watched as well.

[NC_Seniors 518]

Done that with one couple, but involved us watching them fuck and being watched as well.

Which is -- in itself -- pretty hot!

[shy_couple 459]

Which is -- in itself -- pretty hot!

 

 

Agreed.

 

We are a soft swap couple. But Mrs. Shy has a similar rule with bi girl play. If they click, bi female play is above the waist only. Which is still pretty hot. But I could totally do without anyone playing with my boobs...

[TnA83 309]

Done that with one couple, but involved us watching them fuck and being watched as well.

 

I would love to start with that

[couplers 4,645]

I would love to start with that

 

Just put yourself out there, but be clear that "above the waist" and same room sex with your own spouse is your limit. As you can tell from the responses here that you'll find other interested couples.

 

Be sure to have an honest discussion afterwards, which means listen, not just talk. You may find something one of you may not like or other things you're willing to move forward on.