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TricianMike

New Partners vs. Same Couples

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When we first started we enjoyed meeting new people. Not every couple was great but we had had an excitement of being with people we just met. Over time we made some great friends that we still enjoy playing with. Mike and I enjoy our friends and our friendships are not something we want to give up. It’s funny how much more we talk about our evenings of play when we meet a new play partner or partners. Our first reason for swinging was the excitement of new partners. I won’t call it a conquest though after we do meet a new couple there is an exhilaration after.

I would say our new meetings with new people is usually more satisfying for both of us.

Do others enjoy new partners or staying with the people for all your play?

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I think as swingers, we evolve with experience in the hobby and as we grow older. Initially, we were drawn to the club scene and the opportunity to meet new people practically every weekend. Over the last 15 years, the clubs have ceased to be our focus. We've met a decent sized group of snow birds who we house party with once a month or so from Sept to May. We continue to be open to meetings off SLS or SDC but not nearly as frequently as we once did. And, we met a newbie couple several months ago where the four of us click on multiple levels. Sex with them is quite amazing and comfortable even after the newness wore off. We're planning on introducing them to our house party group as well. I haven't decided if this is just a natural progression for couples or geography/demographics of if we've been incredibly lucky.

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I like the newness feel of charming and having sex with a woman for the very first time but I seek out friendships only with men, I seek out sex only with women. And my current girlfriends satisfy me but every once in a while I'll get with a new woman for short-term(no more than a month) sexual fling.

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We have gone from clubs and events to just meeting with other couples. We have a few couples who we meet with every few months. It keeps it fresh and new because we only see people periodically. We like to meet new people, too. But we are definitely more restrained and patient. We also go on lifestyle cruises, but we try to meet people organically and not force it.

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IOHO there are two 'schools' to swinging: quality and quantity (for lack of a better term). Swingers either like the newness of other couples (quantity) or to develop a connection or friendship (quality). We belong to the friends group: we want to find others that we connect with and can have a friendly relationship with. What can be better than having a best friend that you can talk about ANYTHING with (like sex)...while you're naked...and touching their partner? Bottom line: different strokes for different folks. One way is no better or worse than the other, just different.

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Our first couple, over 3 years ago, were our friends. I thought I hit the jackpot that I got to see my wife’s friend naked and then do things with her that I only thought about before that day. I need to be honest, it wasn’t easy at first seeing my wife with the husband. I still enjoy being with them. As Gold said above, what’s better than doing this with people you like. I have stated in the past that sex is as much psychological as physical. The original couple was an introduction to many other couples. I consider myself a normal male and I do get excited seeing another female naked. From seeing a woman naked to actually getting busy with her I forget if I actually know her. The little brain takes over. Be it that the people we have been with were more than willing I don’t want to say it’s a conquest when I am with a new woman but it is exciting.

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IOHO there are two 'schools' to swinging: quality and quantity (for lack of a better term). Swingers either like the newness of other couples (quantity) or to develop a connection or friendship (quality). We belong to the friends group: we want to find others that we connect with and can have a friendly relationship with. What can be better than having a best friend that you can talk about ANYTHING with (like sex)...while you're naked...and touching their partner? Bottom line: different strokes for different folks. One way is no better or worse than the other, just different.

 

So the new women I have sex with are not in the "quality" department? So only those seeking friendship in a new sex partner is in the "quality" department?

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My original post wasn’t about quality or quantity , it was about excitement of a new experience. I have read on here how some women glaze over when they undress a new partner. What is hidden, what are they go to look like without clothes. How will they touch me. How wil they smell, hopefully a pleasant smell. How will the taste. Are they a good kisser. Will they be tender or aggressive in a nice way. How will they taste or move. Like everything in life there is only one first time.

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