3sum gone bad - what should I have done?

[midlifecrisis 25]

Hi everyone. I recently had a 3sum with a couple that went very badly, and I'm wondering if I could have done anything differently. I responded to an ad they placed on AFF, and we met one night for drinks. We discussed what they were looking for - someone to watch them have sex, and then I would have sex with the wife after - and everyone seemed to be on the same page. We met about a week later, and the first part went fine, but about two minutes after I was with the wife, he starts crying, and kinda freaking out. I'm lying down, she's mounted on top of me, and they start having a fight! There was really nothing I could do. I just laid there, not moving or saying anything, and then when it seemed appropriate, I asked to be excused. I put my clothes on in a totally silent, but completely stressed filled room, and left without saying anything. I didn't know what, if anything, my role should be. Say sorry? Thank you? Offer to help? Or just leave, like I did.

Anyone have a similar experience? Did I do the right thing?

[NC_Seniors 518]

Crying? As in tears running down the face crying? And fighting? As in yelling at each other and calling each other names fighting? Jeez Louise! We talked it over and think you did as well as you could have done. Saying you were sorry would have made it sound as if you did something wrong. Saying "Thank you" would have just led the husband to yell at you about thanking him for doing his wife. Offering to help would have just put you in the middle of it, and really, what could you have done to help when they just weren't ready for this ... or at least the husband wasn't? You COULD HAVE told them on your way out the door that they're not ready, but that would have been stating the obvious. So just leaving and keeping quiet was your only real recourse. There *is* a lesson in this for YOU, however. If you're ever offered another opportunity like this one, make sure that this won't be the couple's first time doing a MFM, or that they've at least had some prior full swap experience.

[Manitobacpl 81]

Holly smoke !!!! That must have been awful for you . By what you say , you did nothing wrong . Sounds to me like the husband maybe talked his wife into it but reality kicked in when he saw it for real .. or they used swinging as a way to “fix” a marriage ?

[Napoleon 230]

Yep. During my single years I rejected all couples who wanted me to have a threesome with them. Too much potential drama. I still to this haven't had a threesom with a male/female couple. I've only had threesomes with single women.

 

You did nothing wrong.

[Lionheart72 2,190]

Wow, that's just horrible. Getting up, leaving quietly and letting them deal with their own drama sounds like the best possible move in a bad situation.

[EastInWest 1,524]

Wife and husband verbally abusing each other while she rides another man.

 

That's certainly a new take on cuckolding.

[Numex 2,419]

.. We discussed what they were looking for - someone to watch them have sex, and then I would have sex with the wife after...

Sorry for what happened to you.

My hypothesis, for what it's worth: what seemed to the husband like such an exciting and wonderful idea before he orgasmed was the opposite after he came. I'm sort of like that but I just lose interest and excitement for a while after I cum. That's why if there's more men than women I watch the show first, then go into the woman. And why I'm glad that we started with my wife just going out alone and fucking her old boyfriends.

 

I'd bet you though that at some point the husband gets all excited about the thought of another man fucking his wife and tries to talk her into it again. Another reason if you're the guy it has to be about your wife having fun and taking control.

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

First problem is using AFF...IOHO too many fakes, flakes, and people not knowing what they are getting into. After that, it sounds like the excitement that the husband was feeling disappeared once he came (like Numex said above). If a couple isn't totally secure in the relationship and are being completely honest in their communication...well, swinging magnifies any weaknesses in the relationship. When it started burning down, the only thing you can do is leave and burn their number. Next time maybe spend more time talking about how their relationship is doing. Swinging will NOT save a weak relationship. Make sure that the couple is REALLY ready to take this next step.

[udsarge 119]

Kind of hard to keep the parts at "full staff", when your playmate is crying (not out of ecstasy, and fighting with their own partner. I don't know that I would be able to finish with that much drama going on around me!!

[JandKinBoise 858]

What a bad situation. In the future, I suggest during your first meeting face to face, make sure you show affection toward the woman and watch the husband's reaction. In a bar, he won't be all that turned on and should react if he is the jealous type.

On our first successful meeting, the guy came up behind us, put his arms around my wife, whispered in her ear, kissed her cheek and sat down across from her. He spent the entire time focused on her. Had I been jealous, I would have pulled her out of the situation.

[jeff111 44]

What a bad situation. In the future, I suggest during your first meeting face to face, make sure you show affection toward the woman and watch the husband's reaction. In a bar, he won't be all that turned on and should react if he is the jealous type.

On our first successful meeting, the guy came up behind us, put his arms around my wife, whispered in her ear, kissed her cheek and sat down across from her. He spent the entire time focused on her. Had I been jealous, I would have pulled her out of the situation.

 

Not everyone wants their wife romanced though (& not every wife wants to be romanced by the third wheel). They might just wantthe Sex, in which case behaving like that would be outside what their rules may be. Communicate firstly but perhaps in more detail than last time.

 

OP didn’t do anything wrong, but he knows what questions to ask next time and maybe suggest the husband doesn’t cum too soon.

[padoc 1,703]

I agree with Gold on AFF. You hit the drama jackpot with that couple. This hobby is not for the faint of heart. If there were no big red flags waving when you met for drinks, you did nothing wrong.

[jeff111 44]

Midlife, did you have a much larger cock than the husband?

 

Or did she react differently when she was fucking You compared to her husband??

[machiavel55 81]

First problem is using AFF...IOHO too many fakes, flakes, and people not knowing what they are getting into. After that, it sounds like the excitement that the husband was feeling disappeared once he came (like Numex said above). If a couple isn't totally secure in the relationship and are being completely honest in their communication...well, swinging magnifies any weaknesses in the relationship. When it started burning down, the only thing you can do is leave and burn their number. Next time maybe spend more time talking about how their relationship is doing. Swinging will NOT save a weak relationship. Make sure that the couple is REALLY ready to take this next step.

 

It's not only being insecure or having a weak relationship, some men, very often because of childhood traumas, will find very exciting the idea of watching their wife with another man, they will love masturbating to that fantasy, have incredible orgasms while fantasizing about it, either alone or during sex with their wife. Then without really understanding where that fantasy comes from, they'll make it happen and realize that they cannot share, that they are monogamous with fantasies that must be just that, fantasies. Not everyone is a swinger.

[Fla-swing99 136]

My husband and I have seen a couple of situations with couples where the husband was the one to bring up the whole idea of swinging. They, in some cases, are relentless in trying to convince the wife to try it, that it could be great for their relationship, that this it’s only fun sex between consenting adults and they have nothing to worry about. So, the wife eventually yet reluctantly gets worn down and finally agrees to give it a go. Hubby goes first and goes to town having a great time. Then the wife goes, gets into it realizing her husband was right that it could be fun and is seeing exactally that. She let’s go of any inhibitions she had and begins to obviously enjoy the new man she is playing with. It’s at that point the husband comes to the realization his wife is all in, not what he expected at all, and only then does he realize the mistake he made as well as his inability to handle the fact that his wife is actually very much enjoying herself. Then the fight begins. We have heard things said such as, “well you didn’t have to like it that much did you?, and “oh so I see you think this guy is better than me” and my personal favorite, “I don’t understand how you orgasm so quickly, you never have one that fast when we are having sex!”

 

You know what they say, be careful what you ask for.

[1hotminute 72]

Sometime after you cum you come to your senses and the idea of another man having sex with your wife seems less of a good idea.we had a relationship with a friend of ours and the first couple times we fooled around when he was going to have penetrative sex with my wife I would want to call it off. It was because I came already and my mind was clear of sexual desire. After that we decided that it be better to let him penetrate her and finish first. Once we did it a couple times like that I was mentally free of the kink in my brain and by the third time I was totally cool with anything.