Percentage Of Soft Swingers Versus Hard

[soonerforever 17]

Does anyone have an estimate? Also curious the best way other than swing clubs of meeting other interested couples? Would like to find either couple on couple or maybe a house party where we might be able to play with each other and watch as well----would that be okay with most? Thanks.

[padoc 1,704]

We have been enjoying this hobby since 2003 and we've met a LOT of couples at clubs, resorts, parties, and 1 on 1's. We have certainly not been intimate with the entire lot but swingers talk. One of the first questions most people ask is "how did you two get started" . A large number, us included, started out watching than slowly delved into soft swing and ultimately, as comfort and confidence increased, evolved to full swap. Purely a guess, but probably half the couples we've met at least started as soft swap. One thing we can say for certain, getting to full swap was one helluva lot of fun! Enjoy the trip.

[Fitlakecouple 451]

Try not to fall into the trap of thinking that if you are a soft swap couple you must play with only other soft swap couples. Many full swap couples are happy to play at the level of the other couple. And, frankly, some play which most would categorize as "soft swap" is considerably more erotic and intimate than a straight missionary fuck (full swap). Just be clear about what you are comfortable doing (and not) and have fun.

[Numex 2,459]

We sort of started with soft play. Ever since we first started having sex, we talked about what we liked about our exes, it's foreplay for us. A couple of years after we were married, I told my wife that she should go for it with an old boyfriend or two that she had really enjoyed. She was hesitant, but agreed to look him up (turned out to be two), contact them, then meet up. These were separately.

 

With the first old boyfriend, the one who lives

in the same metro area, they had a couple of dates where they just met, had dinner, and I called so she could say, "It's my husband." "I'm with Mark, you know, the guy I told you I used to live with?"

 

After two dates, they kissed, and she put his hand on her breasts outside her clothes. We fucked like mad when she got home. Next time she had already gotten a room, he really played with her tits, finger fucked her, and she gave him a blowjob. We fucked like mad when she got home. After that, no limits.

 

My wife's other ex who she was in contact with is in another city, so she moved a little more quickly. First date was totally platonic, second was my call so he could be comfortable with where it was going, then feeling her and a blowjob in the car. On the third date he had his tongue in her cunt then his dick in her ass.

 

So overall, for a couple of months we had started swinging with only my wife doing just soft play. After some MFMs with these guys, we both wanted to move on, and my wife wanted to play with other women. We did several FFMs where the other woman only let me soft play with her.

 

It was all good, and playing with exes, guys who she fucked before we met, was a comfortable way for everyone to start.

[Guest]

In our experience, we have found very few soft swingers as compared to fully swingers. Perhaps it’s less of longer term status and more of just an early stage for a few.

[GoldCoCouple 4,068]

Most (if not all) couples start off as soft swap. They either later decide to go all the way or to quit. It's whatever works for you and your partner, there is no right or wrong. As long as the other couple knows your boundries and are willing to stick with them, have fun! Just enjoy, keep the communication open and quit overthinking things.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,026]

. . . Perhaps it’s less of longer term status and more of just an early stage for a few.

Or, perhaps, also a late-stage thing. We met a couple in Florida last year who do soft-swing owing to the fact that the man now has trouble keeping an erection. She has made an agreement with her husband that she will not take a dick out of empathy for his situation. It all turned out just great. My wife said that she had the greatest ever oral sex from him. I was able to say the same about her.

 

To answer the original question, our experience tell is that soft-to-hard is ratio of about 1 out of 20.

[Fitlakecouple 451]

Most (if not all) couples start off as soft swap. They either later decide to go all the way or to quit. It's whatever works for you and your partner, there is no right or wrong. As long as the other couple knows your boundries and are willing to stick with them, have fun! Just enjoy, keep the communication open and quit overthinking things.

 

Not picking a fight but flat-out disagree with the above generalization that most if not all start out soft swap. Many people view it all as 'sex' and draw no artificial boundaries. We were full swap from the jump, as were many of our couple friends. Also, we play with these 'full swap' couples regularly and often come home completely satisfied with our hot evening only to reflect and realize that everything we'd done was 'soft swap'. Point is - it all can be hot.

[couplers 4,717]

Or, perhaps, also a late-stage thing. We met a couple in Florida last year who do soft-swing owing to the fact that the man now has trouble keeping an erection. She has made an agreement with her husband that she will not take a dick out of empathy for his situation...

He should have empathy for her situation.

[HotEllie 89]

We are still in the "watching" phase. A soft swap is our agreed upon next step. We admittedly have concerns about encountering an experienced full-swap couple who will not understand our current limits.

[Fundamental Law 2,903]

We are still in the "watching" phase. A soft swap is our agreed upon next step. We admittedly have concerns about encountering an experienced full-swap couple who will not understand our current limits.

 

Don't be concerned. The LS embraces all levels of participation. A simple "no thanks, we're not at that point yet" is just fine. Some never get beyond your current stage. Everyone else passed through your stage on the way. Just remember to keep your minds open. Your comfort zones may change.

[padoc 1,704]

We've been a full swap couple for over a decade. Yet in that time, we've also met and played with soft swap couples. For us, good sex does not necessarily have to involve penetration. We like orgasms and we like sharing them. If Mrs Doc gets off several times during an encounter that doesn't include penetration she still has orgasms. If I get a blow job to completion Im certainly not going to complain that it didn't happen balls deep in the woman. Each couple, each encounter is different and that's one of the main attractions of this hobby.

[soonerforever 17]

Don't be concerned. The LS embraces all levels of participation. A simple "no thanks, we're not at that point yet" is just fine. Some never get beyond your current stage. Everyone else passed through your stage on the way. Just remember to keep your minds open. Your comfort zones may change.

 

I can't say this was true from everyone.....when we went to a club with a group we met off of Kik, a couple of the men (from couples) wouldn't let up after we were there--even after I let them know we were there only to watch....this kind of put off both of us for the last couple of years...hopefully I can get my wife interested again.

[couplers 4,717]

I started a thread some time ago about our soft play with another couple.

Full swap swingers playing soft swap by choice?

 

We still get together occasionally. There's no interest by any of us in taking it further.

[ViSexual 1,008]

We were initiated by friends and our first time with them was full swap. After that we decided on limiting to soft play with no intercourse. That lasted about a year until my wife decided to go full swap with the husband of a couple we'd played with several times. So, we'd tried both ways and enjoyed both ways. But when we got back into playing after about twenty years of abstaining, we kept it at soft and enjoyed it just as much as full swap.

 

And the couples we played with were never pushy and accepted our limits, if we had any at the times.

 

Oh, and Soonerforever, are you an OU alumnus living in Houston? Now I went to Okie State but my wife has her bachelors and masters from OU.

[Cleve76Pom 24]

Soft swap is a great starting point...let it grow from there

[adamgunn 1,461]

>Soft swap is a great starting point...let it grow from there

 

Or not. Each person, each couple have their own needs, their own desires. If they feel comfortable with soft-swap and feel no need to move on, why should it be expected that they will?

[cplnuswing 4,713]

In our initial discussions we planned to start off as soft swap and maybe someday move to full swap. In practice, our first experience was full swap and that's where we've stayed. We certainly wouldn't turn down what we thought could be a good experience simply because it is soft, but that isn't what we intentionally look for.

 

I think the point made above about duration is a very good one. A lot of couples do start soft, but they don't stay there long. The result is although there are a lot of couples with soft swap experience, there are far fewer who label themselves as a soft swap couple. If I had to take a wild guess at numbers on that it would be 80/20 on the first and 10/90 on the second.

 

No right or wrong, whatever works for someone is what works for them.

[Chris&Suzanne 204]

I posted before that we were going to start as a soft swap couple, but graduated to full swap in the same night, it was just to hot not to.

[NC_Seniors 519]

We're with Fitlakecouple, ViSexual, cplnuswing, and Chris&Suzanne ... our first experience was full swap and it's still our preference.

That said, we've told at least one new couple that if they're interested in playing, we'll play to THEIR level even if it's not OUR level.

[dazanconfsd 84]

Our first restart (bad experience out of the way off the bat)was *soft but keep our minds open* and it was full by the time we were done, hell barely after we started. The second couple was a soft swap couple that had way more experience than us (mfm, hotwife, full, separate etc) we kept their boundaries and they later broke them during a play date with us and another couple. We have become great friends since and at the *whatever feels good for the night* level, including watching each couple have sex and soft. It all depends on what feels right and is good for the group. Bad for one isn't good for anyone.

 

TLDR: have had experience with limited amount of couples, one soft graduated to full and the others all full.

[Numex 2,459]

TLDR

 

Not long enough, I say.

[Guest]

Definitely more full swap swingers. I suspect that the soft swappers don't fully embrace the sharing lifestyle and it causes some emotional problems within the relationship.

[shy_couple 460]

Definitely more full swap swingers. I suspect that the soft swappers don't fully embrace the sharing lifestyle and it causes some emotional problems within the relationship.

 

We agree with this statement. We are soft swap and find it difficult to find like mi red folks. Just to hazard a guess, based on our experiences, 3:4 couples are full swap.

 

It can be difficult to find people who are comfortable going at our pace but when we do it has been quite thrilling.