Jump to content

Recommended Posts

We have been playing with a couple for about five years on and off. We see them at our club, at some resorts and at local house parties. Wherever we are, she always seeks out my husband. We have all been together many times and I enjoy her husband very much, but for my husband and I, it’s literally just sex.

 

She is very different with my husband lately than with her other partners. I believe she has fallen for him. When I see them together, she is very passionate and attentive to him in ways that I don’t see when she’s with other men. My husband rolls with it and is always a pleaser.

 

We don’t want to make things uncomfortable or lose their friendship, but we are getting uncomfortable with the notion that she may be interested in a deeper relationship than we have experienced with other partners.

 

Should we just go with it? I’m not sure I can handle sharing him that way and I don’t think he’s interested in that type of relationship either. Thoughts about when the sex leads to something more?

Share this post


Link to post

Looks like you’re in a tough situation. My opinion is once it’s not fun it’s time to move on. Sounds like she is way past the fun stage and riding the love train. We would run.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post

Blue, 'polyamory' includes the idea of 'love.' At least one of the persons in love is in love with another person. That implies a deep vanilla-based connection.

 

Are she and your husband dating without you? Even innocent things like lunches and happy hours, even if no sex is included? If this isn't happening, I don't think there's anything to worry about here. It's more like BFFs.

 

Having said that, if you and/or your husband is uncomfortable, time to back away a least a bit.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
... I believe she has fallen for him. When Insee then together, she is very passionate and attentive to him in ways that I don’t see when she’s with other men... we are getting uncomfortable with the notion that she may be interested in a deeper relationship than we have experienced with other partners.
I don't see anything wrong with that. You should be flattered that she thinks so highly of your husband. I never understood why someone is OK with other people having sex with their spouse every which way, but any caring is considered bad. Let your husband go with it as far as he mutually interested, and be happy for him. My husband is loved, and loves (and had babies with), two other women. It is good for me and our relationship.
  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Say what?????

We are a poly family of three women and two men, and children. It has worked well for us.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post

In my experience, swinging becomes polyamory when one commits to another partner more than the sexual relations they have. It can mean more time together, more emotional involvement, more aspects of their lives more intertwined. And the other partner has become a stakeholder in your decision making and planning process.

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post

You are correct - he is a great guy and deserves the attention. I honestly don't see him taking things further with her, even if I know deep down that's what she wants. Honestly as I think about it, it's kind of a turn on watch her her trying to please him and even seduce him.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post

She is bisexual - he is not and we have had some amazing FFM threesomes. She plays alone frequently and so does her husband. She plays with us but we have never had him alone. We have had some amazing threesomes with her and some over the top pegging sessions with my husband where it is all about him. I honestly think she is smitten with his open sexuality and willingness to let go. I'm probably overthinking things - I have no time or tolerance for drama and I hate that I'm probably the one creating it!!

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post

Polyamory can be defined as anything from a little bit of emotional feeling and caring, up to like us, sharing of a household, finances, and a lifelong commitment to our children fathered by both men.

 

Our relationship obviously hasn't been formalized by marriage, but by numerous trusts, wills, guardianship preferences, insurance policies, mortgages, and pickup permissions at school. (And God, do I feel much more comfortable having two other women as backup parents for the children than one man.)

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post

I've been asking this a lot lately, he started swapping with very good friends three years ago and it has been fantastic due to a strong connection developed over ten years and we are extremely compatible sexually with each others spouses.  I like it rough and Adam likes it rough, Julie likes it slow and passionate and my husband likes it slow and passionate.  Then to top it off Julie and I have developed a pretty strong Sapphic game with each other.  So we've always had fun, they were selling their house at the beginning of March and their new house couldn't close till mid April so we told them to take our guest room instead of getting an apartment for two months.  They moved in but then the quarantine hit and PA shutdown real estate as a non essential business, by the time it could close the owners had lost their jobs and couldn't get their own mortgage thru so they backed out.  So now they need to find a new place, but we've been swapping regularly cause we all know we are safe living in the same house.  And its gotten much deeper emotionally.  I think we probably qualify as Poly now but we haven't defined it.  

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Similar Content

    • By dccc4fun
      So we are new to swinging for the most part. We've had some experiences in private with other males and females.
       
      We are very interested in going to a swingers club but also nervous at the same time. My husband is worried about boundaries being respected and possibly pushy men. We are a secure couple so that's not the issue, we just don't want to deal with that type of behavior.
       
      Is this a problem we might run into?
    • By StartingOver60
      I am curious, when you are with another partner for the evening do you tend to have a new approach to adventure?
       
      Does the opportunity to be with someone new give you the feeling that you are free to reach out to new levels that you may not share with your spouse?
       
      Do you do things like swallow or go down on your new partner and not your spouse?
       
      Do you ever just let go and accommodate the requested new situation pushing the agreed upon boundaries/limits of your spouse?
       
      Do you have stronger or multiple organism's with you new partner?
       
      Do you have sex more times during the evening encounter than with your spouse?
       
      Do you look forward to a specific partner that elevates your experience?
    • By Sawman
      I am at the mature end of the swinging demographic as are my play friends. The ladies have their share of curves and character lines and often prefer to wear something when younger, fitter ladies prefer total nudity. This is just to say clothing is totally OK if it makes you comfortable. This is not a photo shoot. This is intimacy and mutual giving. Besides, a little color and texture is nice to see and feel. When I know my partner is shy I can adjust and just observe that as a boundary.
       
      Now, go shopping.
    • By Interestme82
      Hi out there. I’m married and in an evolving relationship. Last year I did a burlesque photo shoot for him as a gift. He loved the way it turned out but asked if I’d be willing to do something more risqué in the future. I got a reference from the original photographer (female) and told my husband the new photographer would be a male. Being the protective husband he is we both requested a meeting over a cup of coffee. We met which was great and made things all the more comfortable. I loved what I saw from his book and my husband did as well. 
       
      We had the shoot and the pictures came out great. He got really turned on by knowing another guy was doing the pictures. I was shocked. I asked him if he’d consider doing a couples shoot with me and he said he’d try but was reluctant. Pretty soon after he agreed and we were off again.
       
      Prior to the shoot my husband and the photographer talked about his career. My husband, who’s faithful, shocked me a bit with his envy and open talk about what the photographer experienced. I’m extremely open and joined in the conversation. Both of us felt like we were conversing with someone we really liked and knew a lot longer than we actually did. Unfortunately my husband had difficulties getting hard which is completely out of the ordinary. The photographer said it happened a lot and just to relax. 
       
      Surprisingly at my husband's request he asked for me to do a POV shoot the photographer showed us in his book. Basically it’s the photographer including himself in various ways while taking the pictures. As we started taking the pictures I liked being touched by the photographer even though it wasn’t active foreplay or sex. It really was strictly for the pictures themselves. During the pictures my husband quickly got hard and watched. Eventually the photographer asked him if he was going to get involved. The rest of the shoot went as we planned. Afterwards we all sat around and talked and went through the pictures.
       
      Some time passed again and we talked a lot about the fun we had with it. My husband admitted he liked watching the photographer touch me and if not for that he may have been to nervous to get hard. 

      I really want this to develop further but I’m apprehensive because it’s a major change in life obviously. I’m also not sure about how I feel about seeing him with someone else. When I say I’m not sure I mean most likely not. I don’t even really think he wants to. I almost feel like if I bring that up it will be too much too fast. Multiple times when having sex we’ve dirty talked about me doing another shoot and giving myself up. I’d feel more comfortable to actually do it than talk about it. 
       
      I feel like my husband has opened a door that I want to walk into. Am I reading it wrong? Is it best for me to just set something else up and let it work itself the way it will? Based on our interactions I have no doubt the photographer would be into it also. Would I be going to far given our relationship if I reached out to the him and told him how I feel, how my husband feels, and confirm he’d say yes? 
       
       
    • By LovelyLynn
      I have a question for the experienced couples on the board. For quite a while I have had the desire to be in a more sexually charged environment while having sex with my husband. Now, I have been hanging around this board and learned a lot about the maturity required to swing and I must say I am impressed by a lot of you. The reason I bring this up is because I would like your opinions. I am wanting to find some couples or groups that are open and mature like yourselves to watch while each couple has sex.
       
      I am in my 20's and find that a lot of couples around my age lack maturity when it is called for. Of course for a lot of couples at any age it seems can barely keep their own relationships together. On the other hand it seems that a lot of you put respect and your relationships above all else. Other than the fact that I am not technically a swinger (yet ), I feel you people share more in common with my ideals than most groups of people.
       
      I would love to try new things but I'm not near ready for a 4some or swapping. However, I feel that being in and getting comfortable as a couple around swingers would open the door to a lot of new experiences for me.
       
      So I was curious how the couples on here would feel about having a non swapping couple around having sex in the same room as them? Does it make a difference to you if there are just 2 couples, more than 2, group sex, or swapping going on in the room? What do you think the best way to go about it would be? Is this something that Swingers in general accept?
×
×
  • Create New...