Younger swingers with mature swingers and erection questions

[Guest]

Hello all, I just joined and this Is my first post. So if this is in the incorrect location please let me know. I am a 34 year old straight... single male with no penetrative sex experience .

 

Anyway, I have a few questions I have not yet come across on the forms. So I will ask.

 

1. I am wondering if mature swingers are willing to teach, inform, guide, mentor young swingers (while being patient and understanding) oh yeah and have sex with younger inexperienced swingers?

 

1.1 An odd question about condom? Are mature swingers less likely to want to use them if she can’t get pregnant?

 

1.2 If the couple would like to participate in a MMF threesome. Where I am penetrating her (anally or vaginally her choice) and I am being penetrated anally by him (I am in the middle). Now, is there anything I can do to ensure he is hard enough to penetrate me (hopefully hitting my prostate) Or if he can’t get hard enough to still allow penetration?

 

1.3 As for positions for MMF are there any that are more pleasurable and safer for mature couples?

 

2. ... well this is a bit embarrassing but when I masturbate I will have a rock hard Bonner but when I try to milk my prostate I loose it quickly. In this scenario I need to be rock hard for her pleasure as I will be penetrating her. Is there any way to remain hard while being anally penetrate?

 

3. Moving on, if she would to try being double penetrated is there a particular penis length that is required? I am not big just about 5.5 inch in length and 4inch in girth.

 

Anyway, I have so many more questions but I will stop here for today. Any information, tips, ideas, techniques and/or methodologies will be truly appreciated. Thank you.

 

Have an excellent day!

[Newandnaughty 3]

Welcome to the board!!! Just a couple things that seem a little off. 34 years old, never had sex, seeking advice on swinging?

 

Straight male, want a big ole dick slamming my prostate?

 

5.5 x 4, unfortunately “mature swingers” require 9 x 5.

 

Good luck, hope you find what you’re looking for.

[Guest]

Welcome to the board!!! Just a couple things that seem a little off. 34 years old, never had sex, seeking advice on swinging?

 

Straight male, want a big ole dick slamming my prostate?

 

5.5 x 4, unfortunately “mature swingers” require 9 x 5.

 

Good luck, hope you find what you’re looking for.

 

Hi, Newandnaughty thanks for the reply. I was not sure how much information to include but as to never having sex at 34 I can explain. You see I come from a very ... strict family upbringing where one is not to engage in sex until after marriage; however, I have reconsidered this.

 

Why I chose swinging, well I prefer a closer connection than the various applications available for hookups. I don't feel comfortable with them; whereas, the community here from what I have been reading and learning seems to be much more welcoming and encouraging which in turn makes me more comfortable.

 

As for anal I am trying to keep an open mind about trying new experiences.

 

Again, thank you for your reply and I look forward to more.

[Jane1902 476]

Start with a sex therapist, not a swinging site.

[lcmim 1,082]

Yup

[Newandnaughty 3]

Start with a sex therapist, not a swinging site.

 

Bingo!!!!

[Guest]

With the above suggestions (thank you by the way to all), I will make an appointment. With that said may I still stay a member here or am I not welcome? Let me know what you think.

[lcmim 1,082]

My opinion is that you need more personal direction than is possible here, thus my agreement about the sex therapist. Getting to the point where practical knowledge can inform fantasy is far, far better than the other way around. Walking before running, that sort of thing.

 

By all means stick around though.

As a theoretical knowledge base this is one of the best places around.

[padoc 1,703]

I agree. There is a lot you can learn here that can benefit you down the road but right now, you are not even close to swinger material.

[Numex 2,416]

My suggestion would be to get into steady sexual relationships with a woman and a man, both of them knowing, to explore how to please others and what you like. People here would agree that sex, swinging, and life are best enjoyed within the context of a devoted relationship - most swingers are married. Random hookups can be found elsewhere.

[luv2was 117]

There is something out there for everybody.

 

Be honest... and be real. (Looks like you are off to a good start there.)

 

You may need a LOT more patience than usual... but I would not be at all surprised if you eventually found a couple that would help you along.

 

... And if that ever happens... you will likely get the answers to all your sex/swinger related questions, and more.

 

If you keep visiting this BBS, you will likely learn a lot in general about the Swinger Lifestyle.

 

Best of luck to you.

[Baconheads 432]

Pretty advanced questions for a never ever, sexually. I'm not sure what would be better for you to start, a girlfriend (probably the best place to start), a random hookup (the clubs or a hookup site like tinder), or maybe some professional help if you know what I mean.

 

Maybe a swinger couple would be into the novelty of a virgin guy, but they would probably be rare.

 

Fill us in about your upbringing. Religious? Which religion?

[Guest]

Thank you for your input luv2was and Baconheads!

 

As to your question of upbringing ... I am Catholic so things are very strict and always have been for me anyway (not for my siblings, why I do not know). Anyway, I was always told sex can wait masturbate, but I was also pushed into studies as I was not the smart one (naturally) I had to work extra to get the grades. Anyway, I was not allowed to date until I had my degree(s), steady employment, own a house and so on. Now I am 34, virgin and the degrees are not helping. Not sure what else to include at this time. Let me know what else you would like to know.

[bbarnsworth 2,637]

WELCOME to the board! I have to say I've never encountered a person who is a virgin who has come to this forum. You are most welcome here! Being a virgin, a swinging experience might offer challenges to you and to another couple willing to have you. These are not insurmountable if you are mature, open, and patient.

 

Some couples may be concerned about your lack of experience, and that this being your first sexual experience you might not respond quite appropriately. I would encourage you to keep reading threads here, most especially when they have to do with MFMs. You can gain a lot of knowledge here just by reading. Understand your own expectations. You may not get very much out of this experience on an emotional level, and you might be disappointed about that. Some couples may be willing to play with you more than once, in which case a sense of friendship may well develop. Chance are though that you will feel a very strong sense of new relationship euphoria (NRE). When this kicks in, you will be head over heels emotional, and not have the same returned to you. Be prepared for that. Understand that the NRE will likely guide you in improper ways as a third in a threesome if you play more than once with a couple. Understand your role; it's primarily a sexual relationship, and often little more than that.

 

To your questions....

 

My wife and I are (barely) old enough to be your parents. The age difference isn't necessarily a problem for us. My wife considered a guy of similar difference in age, but decided against him. Part of it was age, but only a small part. Most of it had to do that she didn't quite feel the attraction she wanted to have for him. Had that been there, the age would have been a non-issue. Without it, the age was a bit of a compounding issue, if that makes sense. In general, my wife is intrigued with the idea of having a play partner who can go many times, and a younger man has a better chance of that than an older one. Some couples will not consider you at all, simply because you are a virgin. Every couple is different.

 

Also understand; I would venture to guess there are more men in this lifestyle than there are couples looking for single men. You have something unusual to offer, which can both help you and hurt you. In doing this, you have to put your best foot forward. Whatever profile you create, say on SLS, make sure it's a good one and not one sentence. It's your best marketing tool. Use it appropriately.

 

The use of condoms isn't about getting pregnant for us; it's about disease. My wife can't get pregnant. We are willing for my wife to play without condoms, and she has on several occasions. Only once was it the first time with a guy (story elsewhere on here). Otherwise, it's always been someone she's played with a few times already. She far prefers sex without condoms much more so than any other woman I've known, and very particularly likes having men cum inside her. But, disease is a reality and condoms on first dates are always a given. In your case, if it were us we'd possibly consider no condom if we felt we could trust you and your statements that you are a virgin. That's something we'd judge in person. Other couples may vary in their position on this. Just relating how we'd approach it.

 

I can't speak to the position of you having sex with a woman and the husband having sex with you. We've never done this, and very likely won't. I'm fully comfortable with the full LGBTQ+ spectrum, but I consider myself about 99% heterosexual, so having sex with a guy isn't something I'd do. I say 99%, and not 100% because there once was a telephone repair guy (how stereotypical is that!) who came to the business where I was the employee who was working with him showing him where things were. I had a strong reaction to him that I've never had with a guy before or since.

 

I don't think a couple being mature has much of an effect on sex positions, unless we're talking about some serious feats of gymnastics in bed. It's never been a problem for us, and I doubt it will be a problem in the future..at least for a couple of decades.

 

I suspect that, this being your first time, you might have some problems with your erection period. Then again, you might not. It could also be that this position of you having sex with a woman while a man has sex with you might be so overpowering to you that you will (a) be harder than concrete and (b) not last long

 

My wife and I have tried double vaginal penetration. I'm 6" and apparently thicker than 90% of the male population. The other guy was similar in length, and not quite as thick. We tried for quite a while to make it work. We found that what was likely needed was two men with 8" or more.

 

On your Catholic upbringing; there are quite a few people on here who are 'recovering Catholics'. I remember a line from Law & Order, with Stone who said "I'm Catholic. I can feel guilty about anything!" I'm not going to try to convince you of anything regarding your spirituality, as that is your own journey. Welcome, though, to a very different view on the world. Being willing to have sex with a married couple doesn't have to mean giving up your spirituality.

 

You are correct that the community here is welcoming and encouraging. We are very much a supportive group. The advice by others given above is testament to that; the advice to speak with a sex counselor isn't a bad idea at all. I can't speak to your psychology on this; only you can. I do think it can help, and would help to answer some questions within yourself as well. From what little I can read between the lines on your posts here, if I might be so bold; I see you very focused on the fantasies aspect of that. I understand that. But, I would strongly encourage you to approach this from a more tame set of expectations stand point. If you end up deciding to do an MFM as a first experience, go in with no expectations. Just relax, be you, and hope to have a good time. The first time shouldn't be wrapped up in a huge set of expectations anyway; that will ruin it.

[Guest]

Hello bbarnsworth,

Thank you for such a detailed response and your welcome greeting! I will try to answer and/or respond to everything.

 

I am a very mature and patient person I always have been ever since I was a born. It may very well take a long time to fine the couple but I am willing to wait. I also understand that it may never come to pass which is understandable.

 

I did not think of new relationship euphoria (NRE). I will remember to use a bit of detachment or distancing to reinforce my role via sexual relationship.

 

I understand that my virgin status will put me into a lower consideration category and that’s okay. As to making a profile on SLS I will try to fill it all out although I am not very good at making myself sound good; rather, I can be blunt and honest.

 

I understand safe sex practice guidelines and the use of condoms, dental dams are there for everyone’s protection. I have read else ware that many woman prefer sex without condoms … if only scientists can eradicated infections. I am faltered that no condom would be considered if you both felt you can trust my statements and I.

 

I should add in at this point that I did see a sex therapist and they (one was getting clinical hours); anyway, my point is that they helped me work through some stuff and helped me realize that the MMF is just fantasy. Although, I do agree with you bbarnsworth about being 99% heterosexual; yet, I try to remain open to the 1% if it happens then that’s okay and I understand that much better now.

 

As for my erection that is … well I forgot the exact words that were used but it is a short circuit in the brain from overstimulation, multiple stimulations (simultaneously) or something to that effect. I will ask again when I go.

 

In addition, I just wanted to add in about mature persons and I. For some reason I have an ability to get along with older and younger persons much better than I am able to with persons my own age. Not sure why, all my friends are my age but in striking up conversations with people I go blank if they are my age; however, older and younger a conversation is not an issue.

 

Harder than concrete … I like that phrase and I am sure you are correct. That would be embarrassing!!

 

Very interesting to hear about double vagina penetration … so in that particular case bigger is better.

 

Thank you for your kindness regarding my spirituality. As for the view of the world, it is different but that is not a bad thing. If the different is in the light it’s okay; however, if the different is in darkness then there are problems. That is how I like to think about it.

 

I think I covered everything I will double check later today. Thank you again.

[bbarnsworth 2,637]

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In addition, I just wanted to add in about mature persons and I. For some reason I have an ability to get along with older and younger persons much better than I am able to with persons my own age. Not sure why, all my friends are my age but in striking up conversations with people I go blank if they are my age; however, older and younger a conversation is not an issue.

 

I'll toss out something here; some years back there was a show on TV called "strange sex". It was actually a very interesting show. Each episode, they focused on a particular kink/fetish/lifestyle in things sexual. They did a very good job of just putting the information out there without judging it or spinning it. One of the episodes they focused on cougars; older women looking for considerably younger men. It was fascinating. For both parties, it's a win-win. Older ladies are unencumbered by trying to figure out if "he's the one", whether or not they would make a good father, whether or not they make a decent income, etc. Younger men similarly felt unencumbered because there were no expectations of the trappings of society placed on them.

 

So, a possible avenue for you given what you've said is to find a cougar. They are out there. I've no resources for you to find them. I'm sure there are websites for such things, but I've never investigated.

 

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Harder than concrete … I like that phrase and I am sure you are correct. That would be embarrassing!!

 

It would NOT be embarrassing, in fact it would be the opposite. A wife playing with permission would just love to see her playmate being that hard and ready. Can't imagine her getting excited about the opposite

 

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Very interesting to hear about double vagina penetration … so in that particular case bigger is better.

 

Well longer, yeah.

 

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Thank you for your kindness regarding my spirituality. As for the view of the world, it is different but that is not a bad thing. If the different is in the light it’s okay; however, if the different is in darkness then there are problems. That is how I like to think about it.

 

My wife and I had a spiritual path in this is well. We attend church regularly. How do we reconcile this with the Decalogue? It would take too long to write down our thought journey on this, but our conclusion was that if we are having sex with others who are likewise doing so with the full consent of their spouses, where exactly is the crime? If you had sex with my wife, and I wanted you to do so and she wanted you to do so, who exactly is being hurt by this action? We've been non-monogamous for over ten years now. Our marriage is stronger than it was before we began swinging, so no argument can sustain that it's harming our marriage and thus our family. We are careful about disease propagation. We're not getting pregnant or making anyone else pregnant. So, where is the crime?

[Guest]

bbarnsworth,

 

Sorry, what I wanted to say was “harder than concrete...” yes that’s very good but

 

about not lasting long or long enough as in 30 seconds or something before I ejaculated ... that would be embarrassing! Sorry for the confusion on my part.

 

I too attend church weekly ... such an amazing journey I would be interested in learning more about your journey. Perhaps we can exchange emails if you would like regarding the spiritual journey?

 

I agree that if all persons are in agreement and have permission (no malicious intent) then there shouldn’t be anything wrong.

 

It’s interesting you mentioned your marriage is stronger since you began swinging! I will try to find the article I read regarding that very topic, it was a good read that came to the very same conclusion.

 

We should all be careful about diseases propagation and thank you for being safe and careful. Additionally, I agree again that if you are not getting pregnant and/or getting others pregnant it’s all good.

 

Lastly, I will look into the cougar avenue and I will try to find the show “strange sex” it sounds interesting.

 

Thank you.

[PeterJ 948]

My wife and I had a spiritual path in this is well. We attend church regularly. How do we reconcile this with the Decalogue? It would take too long to write down our thought journey on this, but our conclusion was that if we are having sex with others who are likewise doing so with the full consent of their spouses, where exactly is the crime? If you had sex with my wife, and I wanted you to do so and she wanted you to do so, who exactly is being hurt by this action? We've been non-monogamous for over ten years now. Our marriage is stronger than it was before we began swinging, so no argument can sustain that it's harming our marriage and thus our family. We are careful about disease propagation. We're not getting pregnant or making anyone else pregnant. So, where is the crime?

 

Wise thoughts & words, bbarnsworth. And I completely agree with you.

[bbarnsworth 2,637]

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Sorry, what I wanted to say was “harder than concrete...” yes that’s very good but...

 

I was talking with my wife about this yesterday while on a short road trip. She laughed and said "Why would that be embarrassing? Of course I would love it to be hard as concrete!"

 

 

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about not lasting long or long enough as in 30 seconds or something before I ejaculated ... that would be embarrassing! Sorry for the confusion on my part.

No worries. Text based communication is a limited form of communication. The easy way to handle this to just relax for a while and go at it again. It can actually be rather pleasant to spend several hours having sex, relaxing, having sex, relaxing, having sex...you get the picture

 

 

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I too attend church weekly ... such an amazing journey I would be interested in learning more about your journey. Perhaps we can exchange emails if you would like regarding the spiritual journey?

We can use the private messaging system here, and that's fine

 

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It’s interesting you mentioned your marriage is stronger since you began swinging! I will try to find the article I read regarding that very topic, it was a good read that came to the very same conclusion.

 

It's sad, but so far as I'm aware there are no sociologists that study the phenomenon of swinging. It's hardly scientific to base conclusions on just people who are here on this board, as people whose marriages were harmed are very likely not here. But, quite a number of people here on this board have had their marriages enhanced by swinging. We've read some catastrophes that have happened, but it's infrequent. I recall reading something like 10 years ago that said about 70% of marriages are enhanced, about 25% it has a neutral effect, and 5% it harms. Again, likely not scientific in its approach. For us, it's had a wonde

 

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Lastly, I will look into the cougar avenue and I will try to find the show “strange sex” it sounds interesting.

 

The "Strange Sex" show was indeed interesting. Each episode they covered a different topic. There was one about swingers of course. Another about polyamory. There was one about people who are born intersexed. Another about people with a balloon fetish. Etc..etc.. I appreciated it was done without judgment.

[johnbatoN 12]

I think you should just find a couple who will like you along with your desires and ideas. Everyone is an individual, so I don't think it's appropriate to say that a 9x5 is required for older swingers. I think you will find that couple who will agree to spend time with you and experience these beautiful moments. You can also take a potency boosting drug, and your penis will get more significant because of the rush of blood :) Good luck with your desires.

Edited February 21, 2022 by johnbatoN