If you no longer swing, what do you miss most?

[ViSexual 1,008]

There are some, like me, who enjoyed swinging but for whatever reason no longer swing. Some it can be the loss of their spouse or it could be that one half of the couple decided not to continue and the other half respects their partner's decision.

 

But, whatever the reason, what do you miss most?

 

For me, it's the conversations.

 

When we were swinging, my wife and I were the most open and honest with each other than we had ever been before or after. That's what I miss most..., the open conversations.

 

And the friends we had, or made, that we played with were about the same. I don't think we ever had vanilla friends that we could be that open and honest with.

[njbm 2,901]

I agree. If it’s not too personal, why did you stop swinging? Feel free to take the fifth.

[Guest]

Yes, why would you stop. We have noticed that as we get older, the people that we swing with also get older, at about the same rate, a truely remarkable thing.

[enhancer 1,586]

I am just curious as to why you and your wife are no longer as open and honest with each other now that you are not swinging anymore?

 

I can’t see the two of us ever not being just as open and honest with each other whether we ever played with anyone else again. All the experiences we have shared together and the trust we have built with each other is enough for us to both know there is no other way to live our lives together. We are a team and support each other regardless of what the other persons feelings are at the time.

 

Personally I could never be in a relationship again where there was no communication and trust. Been there done that in the past with my ex wife and nobody wins.

[Alura 2,775]

The thing I miss most is curling up with Laura and giggling together about what had happened.

[SJBluebirds 195]

I miss the pursuit; the feeling like I'm found attractive and desirable by someone not my spouse.

[ViSexual 1,008]

OK, I'll try to answer your questions about why we stopped.

 

The first experiences were during about a four year period when we'd been married three to six or seven years. I don't recall it being called the lifestyle back then. It was referred to as wife swapping and only sometimes, 'swinging'. Except for one, the couples were all friends or acquaintances before any thoughts of playing.

 

I could tell my wife enjoyed the play but she always felt a little guilty the next days. And I also think she felt a little fear of our relationship being harmed. We just hadn't been together long enough.

 

The second time we delved into it, twenty years later, she was more confident and comfortable. But, after a few years she simply lost interest. I just don't thing that sexual adventure and enjoyment was ever as important to her as it is to me.

[couplers 4,718]

I couldn't imagine giving up one of my partners in our family anymore than I could imagine having to give up one of my children.