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Similar Content
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By kc081878
My wife and I are 42, married 19 years. We are not in the lifestyle. She has 1 rule... No anal. Otherwise she is game for whatever I come up with. Not much else is off limits. Toys, Role play, sex swing, BDSM, simulated MFM/Gangbangs, sex machine, etc.
Although we have done some pretty involved and creative role play/simulations... she says she can't imagine doing the above with others for real. If I'm honest, the reality would be a big step for me as well. Yet, I tell her I'm not opposed either.
I have found that my fetish is whatever makes her aroused in new ways. I love the nuances of her sounds and how her body responds to a new sensation.
She says she is perfectly happy with our dynamic. I create the scene and surprise her. I even find myself sounding silly for writing this as if it were a problem.
We are tremendously transparent, collaborative and vocal about every aspect of our lives. But when it comes to discussing fantasies, likes/dislikes, collaborating on role play, etc... my wife shuts down or becomes flippant or gets a "how soon can we get this talk over with?" type vibe. She will say,"I just don't have anything to say."
I don't press her to share more than she wants and there are probably way more layers than can be addressed here.
So I suppose my question is...
Are there couples that have experienced a similar dynamic in their journey and how/in what ways were they able to be more expressive?
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By YZF
Mrs YZF here. Almost a year ago we had Quita, a polymory third move in with us. It has been great. I have been into girls my whole life and so is she so it was good for me. YZF had two women when ever he wanted so it was good for him. She is the third, I am the wife. Those were the ground rules. Quita can come into our bed when ever she wants. She can sleep in our bed when she wants. She does not sleep with YZF unless I am not there. I do not sleep in another room so she can sleep with him.
She gets everything I get. She gets to spend his money. He gave her a car. She does not get to spend the night with him at my expense. Those were the rules. They were not written down or anything, they were understood.
Now this past weekend, I get booted from the room. "Something different" YZF said. Quita agreed. At least I think she agreed, the bitch does not even speak english! I can't help feeling that something is afoot here. Quita has been acting smarmy of late. I really do not know how to approach this.
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By Swingers5209
Hi, so wife and I are comfortable with the swingers lifestyle but we have said that we are both ok with sleeping with people separately. However, we have come across a problem and I'm not sure if I'm the problem or if she is.
My wife has been in the lifestyle for far longer than me and has a vast amount of experience. A while ago we went to a club and there she met the club manager and they started talking. After leaving the club they carried on chatting on a daily basis, and when I asked her what they where talking about she would say that they always talk about work or stuff friends would talk about. However last night i found out that they have been flirting with each other.
Problem is when we started swinging we said that communication is the most important thing to keep us safe from any complications.
I feel that we have to discuss and inform each other when we are talking or flirting with others and she feels that there is no need to inform me if she is flirting with others.
Am I been unreasonable by asking her to tell me when she is flirting with guys and is it unreasonable for me to have gotten upset about her telling me they only talk about work stuff only to find out there is more involved?
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By Jennatodd
So my wife and have been in the swinging lifestyle for a little over a year and have a few regular friends of many varieties of fetishes.
One friend has been visiting for the week and travels home soon. He is a favorite friend and has great chemistry with both of us. Generally, with him I prefer to watch her with him. He fucks her so good. She moans and moans, eyes rolling back. Occasionally I like to give them some alone time and will go to hotel parking lot for awhile. I have no discomfort in this. It’s been our way for a few years. She enjoys him and him her. I can afford them a little more freedom to let go without worrying I’m ok. This a wonderful gift. My wife adores me so after this. I bask in every glorious thrust. This my favorite part -to watch in the beginning and then go to the parking lot. I don’t even think or wonder what is happening. Seen it a hundred times.
Well on this visit out friend was here all week and would be gone for over a year. Wifey asked for a five night fanfare for farewell.
On the fifth evening I drove to to hotel and carried out stuff to the room I grabbed my gear and gave them the room for an hour or so. I have never been bothered before. Well of course a little trepidation in the beginning but until trust was developed. After a few months I began the parking lot dash.
I’m sitting here nervous as hell, trembling. Fearful. What the fuck is this. No specific thoughts or ideas. I was spinning. Waiting for her. Watching the clock. I have done this with my wife and friend for years no problem. Now I remember a tremble of nervousness as I showered for the night and some anxiety in traffic on the journey. It was agony watching the number turn on the clock.
We have a rule. If one partner feels odd the game is off, but they were only gonna feel a few more minutes. Longest damned minutes of my life.
And then came the wife, messy hair and smiles. Eyes gleaming. Thank God. We drove off for home.
As we always do my wife relayed every touch, tug and twist to me. Beaming at each thrust. She was as usual overjoyed with love for me. It didn’t settle my stomach. We always take some time together to bind after and she dozed as I held her. I found tears running down my cheeks. I don’t have any one feeling or thought or anything. I don’t feel any difference from my wife. I shared the moments with her as she woke and she held me and comforted me. Taking care of me. This has been the most passionate moment between us in many years. Cleansing.
We have decided to keep together for visits now and may try again soon. I can’t even begin to understand what happened. Has anyone had a similar experiences and what are they.
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By Thislifewehave
So, I may have opened up a can of worms, I'm not sure yet...My husband and I have dabbled in going out solo here and there but only with established partners of couples we have played with. A few months ago he was approached by a female at his work who has flirted and shown interest (customer not coworker). He mentioned right away that he is married with kids, which eventually led to the, "I wish you weren't married." After a few encounters, and sharing with me, I told him to tell her about the LS and that he has his wife's consent to go out with no expectations except to feel it out and have fun. They went out. I ended up sending him a full hall pass halfway through his date.
He was completely honest with her and explained our boundaries, and how we operate as a couple and he showed her the text. They ended going back to her place and had a great night. Awesome! They both had an amazing time and I was cool with it.
Now for the tricky part...because she is not in the LS and had never really known anything about it, she is extremely vanilla and weirded out about the idea of meeting me. She doesn't want to feel judged, which I totally get. I definitely don't want to do that! I just want to meet her and have an honest conversation and to talk to her openly about separation of sex and friendship. I want to get a feel as to whether it is an ok idea to endorse them going on dates (they both want another) or whether this is going to turn into her creating more of a boyfriend experience. I'm not 100% comfortable with this idea, although I can't pinpoint why. I don't feel threatened or truly jealous, but I am worried about turning jealous because she sees him every day at work and brought him cookies, if that makes sense. (*fuck my husband all you want, but bringing him cookies makes me feel weird...ha, the irony!!!)
Given everything I have shared, can you folks help me figure out risk/ reward here? Have you had similar experiences or concerns? How did you deal with it?
A little bit about us: We have been in the LS for 3.5 years and still learning, but have been together over 20 years and have a solid and communicative relationship. We talk about EVERYTHING! (Aside from play by plays of fun...unless asked)
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