Uncertainty

[BlueStagg 57]

A few months ago my wife and I dove into the lifestyle. So far we've only experienced MFM scenarios as my wife was not ready for me to be with another woman. I would never pressure her and I'm happy we made it this far.

 

Recently she has shown more interest in allowing me to play as well. With that said, she's not sure she has any interest in actually watching me.

 

She did say that she may be open to a couple swap where we play in separate rooms.. do many couples loom for this? Most I've come across wish to watch their spouse.

 

Curious for everyone's thoughts

[padoc 1,703]

We started out as a same room only couple and were for years. We liked group settings and really enjoyed watching each other having fun. We have developed a really nice and playful relationship with a couple who had just started swinging a year ago, we were their 1st couple and she, the other wife, would rather use separate room. Before we actually played with them, Mrs Doc and I discussed the option and it turns out that my wife was comfortable enough with the guy that she was OK with it. We enjoy socializing with them but when the clothing starts to come off we head to opposed sides of the house and it has worked quite well for the four of us. We all know what's going on down the hall, we can hear them and they can hear us and surprisingly, that is kinda hot.

 

I think it has to come down to doing what is comfortable for the least comfortable in a foursome. As I think you've noticed, couples tend to evolve in this hobby. I say give it a shot. 3 somes are a blast but I absolutely LOVE undressing and learning and pleasing a new partner. If your wife is OK with you and another woman, enjoy it and see where that takes you two.

[ViSexual 1,008]

I do think more of us husbands enjoy watching and, therefore, prefer same room. But my wife was like yours and didn't like to watch or have me watching her. I think she had difficulty really enjoying the intimacy with the other man if she knew I could see and hear them. And she's always had a jealous streak and seeing and hearing be with another woman didn't set well with her.

[BlueStagg 57]

I do think more of us husbands enjoy watching and, therefore, prefer same room. But my wife was like yours and didn't like to watch or have me watching her. I think she had difficulty really enjoying the intimacy with the other man if she knew I could see and hear them. And she's always had a jealous streak and seeing and hearing be with another woman didn't set well with her.

 

I think she would struggle focusing on the other guy with me there. She did say she would enjoy hearing another woman moaning from the other room, just doesn't want to visual... me? I love watching my wife

[TwoFunTexans 103]

We'll do it however the other couple prefers, but our preference is separate room. It's just easier to concentrate on the person you're with that way. We'll do same room but I don't care to do it on the same bed.

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

Some people don't like the pressure of having someone watching them. We are same room as well, but there are times where we have had both of us on the far opposite sides of the room. Sometimes it's nice not to feel like you are on display.

[Numex 2,409]

... I think she had difficulty really enjoying the intimacy with the other man if she knew I could see and hear them...

My wife and I have discussed this a lot and agree - It is different having an intimate, alone sexual encounter with a play partner compared to just fucking with others around. But that's why we play alone - to enjoy that brief time when we can be intimate lovers, not just fuck buddies. It burns bright, hot... and brief. Seems dangerous, both way, but the more we do it, the more we realize that it is actually a safe outlet and strengthens our marriage.

[enhancer 1,584]

Different strokes for different folks! You will find people that choose to play many different ways in the lifestyle. The key is finding the ones who do things the way you two want to.

 

We only play together in the same room ourselves and absolutely love seeing each other in action. Huge turn on and great memories. We are also not looking for the kind of intimacy with others that we have with each other. Nothing is ever going to match that and we are not looking for something that does. We are not poly and never will be. We are also not insecure and do not have a jealous bone on us so seeing each other with others does not bug us even a little bit. If it did we would not be in the lifestyle.

[Numex 2,409]

.... We are also not looking for the kind of intimacy with others that we have with each other. Nothing is ever going to match that ...

You're right, but.... Doesn't it feel different when you're alone? No one watching, it's not the same whether it's sucking, licking, fucking or a gentle touch. It's a venture into a world that you don't feel if anyone else is around. I'm not, and I don't think my wife is, trying to match the intimacy that we have. It's a different intimacy, an alternate universe that exists for a brief time while we're alone, free to do whatever we want, and pretend. Being lovers, not just sex partners.

[Guest]

We do it both ways and our behavior does not change. We get totally into our partners. I will say that separate room swap is sometimes a better experience as some partners hesitate or restrict themselves in front of their spouses.

[southdenvercpl 24]

We have found that we are comfortable playing either way. One night the situation arose where we ended up in separate rooms and it was very sexy and intimate for us. We could still hear each other and could tell we were both having fun, so it was a good experience. Once we found we were comfortable with that, we started meeting others alone and found we were cool with that too. What you are looking for in the lifestyle is ever changing I believe as a couple starts getting more and more comfortable.

[Numex 2,409]

... . Once we found we were comfortable with that [separate rooms] , we started meeting others alone and found we were cool with that too. .

We found that we were not only cool with it, but it led to a lot more play - one of us hooking up with another or alone during the week, while one of us was out-of-town. Even swapping so two could have sex while the other two took care of the kids. (All of this within our closed couples group. )