What Happen To "No Kissing and Telling" ???????????

[Fla-swing99 136]

Ok, so what has happened to the long standing idea of “Don’t Kiss and Tell”. We, like nearly all profiles we read, are discrete and request discretion by others. This seemed to be a standard of respect and etiquette at one time. Even more so when specifically asked by others you had some sort of interaction with to please keep your interactions with them private and among only those directly involved. The idea of keeping your business and/or interactions with others private and only between those involved is what one would expect, especially when asked to do so. Yet, it seems to have become common practice by many to run their mouths. I can’t tell you how many times I, Mrs. Flaswing, have been in a swinger’s chat room constantly being told by someone what other online user they have fucked, banged, and/or nailed. How good they were, how much the other person just loved it, how many times they made them orgasm and on and on and on. Some (and at times many) seem to have an overwhelming urge to provide unsolicited details of their sexual encounters with other users. Someone will just start bragging away, providing details as if they thought somehow deep inside I really wanted them to tell me these things…..NOT. My husband has also experienced the same thing on numerous occasions. Even when we say something about it like, stop, seriously, we really don’t want to hear this, it’s not our business, it sometimes continues anyway or they claim, “oh, its ok…so and so said they don’t mind if I tell others about our time together”.

 

Now, in all honesty, and this is in no way a dig on the men but, it does seem to come more often from the men. Not that it has never been by a woman, just not as common. Even with people we start to make a connection with and may even be considering playing with, once they feel some level of comfort with us they seem to have this need to tell us things about others they have interacted with, things we really don’t want or care to know. We cannot help but feel, even if asked not to, those same people would do the same regarding us. Neither me or my husband have any understanding as to why this seems to be such a common thing. Our business with anyone is just that, our business not to be talked about to others like some sort of honor badge or something. Even when someone sees a user we may know or be friendly with the questions begin to come rolling in. “Hey, I noticed you know so-and-so, I bet they are a good fuck, what were they like, did you two get with them, how good was the sex with them, did he have a nice cock, did she have a tight pussy?” and so much more. Seriously people? We just don’t get it. It’s not just single males, it’s not just the husbands in a couple, it seems to be a lot of people. Everyone claims they want discretion but many don’t really seem to care about it, or maybe they feel its ok to have this sort of talk among others that are in the Life Style. We just don’t know……

 

We were wondering what others think about this, what your experience has been like, have you encountered the same, and if possible to answer, why the hell does this happen by so many that demand discretion:?::?:

[Newandnaughty 3]

My guess would be because you’re communicating with these people in an internet chat room. Lots of people speak more frankly with the anonymity of hiding behind the keyboard. I’d bet at least half of the people in the chat room are teenage boys whacking at their peckers.

[PSULioness 859]

Your clue to end the chat is the mentioning of another chat room member. Period. No more chat. You are chatting with a lurker, a fraud or as said above, some kid.

You are anonymous and you should stay anonymous. I come on her for anonymous advice. I know I’m not going to make a date with you. If you are chatting on a meetup site stick to who you are chatting with.

I realize some will chat about sex, my advice to feed into the bait unless you are good with it.

[Fla-swing99 136]

My guess would be because you’re communicating with these people in an internet chat room. Lots of people speak more frankly with the anonymity of hiding behind the keyboard. I’d bet at least half of the people in the chat room are teenage boys whacking at their peckers.

 

Thank you Newandnaughty for your response. Normally I would completely agree with you regarding the anonymous internet person on the other end could be a teenage boy wracking off. Plus, this is the internet, we get that. However, what I am speaking about is chat on a very popular swingers site (which is advertised here on this site) and with the exception of a few that we have never seen or met, the issue I am speaking of is happening with many of the people/couples we have actually met at a meet n greet or a house party. With the few exceptions of fake profiles which seems to be par for the course,, most are people we know to be real. In a couple of cases it’s happened with a single male/female or couple that we agreed to meet with for dinner or drinks first. Then, once they get to a point of feeling comfortable to speak freely (after a drink or two or four.LOL) then the “Kiss and tell” boasting starts. Once, midway through dinner, it got so uncomfortable we actually got up, explained our discomfort with the boasting, thanked them for taking the time to meet with us but we simply did not feel we were a good match and walked away.

[Newandnaughty 3]

I gotcha, possibly just the asshole factor. Whatever you do, wherever you go, you’re bound to run into some assholes. We don’t do the chat rooms, I think my wife has checked them out a few times but not a normal occurrence. First house party we ever went to all the chat was about swinging. We know why we’re here, let’s chat for a minute to see if we’re a good match. In all honesty, if we make the effort to go to a party or meet somebody at a bar, we’re pretty much a sure thing. We’d like to chat a bit before we hit the sheets to get a brief idea of who you are in person, and if you’re not an asshole we’re getting naked. I can’t get a feel for who somebody is if all they talk about is swing partners and conquests. Needless to say we didn’t play at that party.

[AngelandTiger 364]

This, unfortunately, reminds me of the guys who, after or during our first meetups, have made sure that I knew that they were going to make Angel feel something she's never felt before, be the best she's ever had, show her what she's been missing...etc. One even asked me, "Do you want me to go easy, or do you want me to show her what she's missing? Good grief. Those meetings ended abruptly (understated, but there you are). The lifestyle is for making friends who can share the sexual part of their personalities as well as their more forward facing personas. It's not for "rutting sessions", or bragging rights on who has the biggest cock or who can best satisfy someone else.

 

These people need to grow up or get out of the lifestyle. This is simply pathetic.

 

T

[Newandnaughty 3]

Too funny! We had somebody send us a message yesterday on sls. IM was just a “hey there, great profile”. Ok, let’s check him out. His profile says he’s there to satisfy your wife when you can’t. You can watch her get the fuck of her life, or some bullshit like that. Delete message, block profile. We, like 99% of others in the lifestyle I’d guess, didn’t get into this because either one of us were unsatisfied. We got into it because we satisfy the hell out of each other and enjoy sharing that satisfaction with others.

[Fla-swing99 136]

Too funny! We had somebody send us a message yesterday on sls. IM was just a “hey there, great profile”. Ok, let’s check him out. His profile says he’s there to satisfy your wife when you can’t. You can watch her get the fuck of her life, or some bullshit like that. Delete message, block profile. We, like 99% of others in the lifestyle I’d guess, didn’t get into this because either one of us were unsatisfied. We got into it because we satisfy the hell out of each other and enjoy sharing that satisfaction with others.

 

Well Unfortunately you are not the only ones to experience that exact same thing. Seems you and AngelandTiger have been subjected to the same dorks we have. We can not help but laugh at the ones telling Mrs how they are going to fuck he like she has never been fuck d before. How they are going to go down on her for hours until she simply can’t cum anymore, then after that fuck her into sexual oblivion. Oh, and when she asks what her husdanb is to do while they are sexually dominating her, they reply with “I don’t mind if he wants to watch”. Funny thing is I can not ever recall a woman saying the same things to me…hmmm.

 

We just don’t understand it. Even more surprising is how often statements like that come from the male half of a married couple and not necessarily a single male. It’s crazy. I think we have come to realize these things are unfortunately going to be parr for the course. Although, every so often the Mrs, will sort of roll with it just to have fun before she shuts them down. I guess maybe with all these incredible wanna be lovers out there I should be concerned…… Ah, no…

[the Nomads 78]

We've had this discussion with various playmates and the consensus seems to be that the following rules apply. You can speak about a couple only if the people you are speaking to were there and involved in the action. Otherwise there are no names. With regard to discussing how play went we were in agreement that discussing what happened is only acceptable from a learning perspective. Boasting is in bad taste. The rule stands that if they are telling you about their last play partners they are going to be telling their next play partners about you.

 

Mr. Nomad