MadlyInLuv 94 Posted November 21, 2019 We’ve been chatting with a couple waiting for my wife to be cleared for sexual activity from getting her tubes tied. Normally we wouldn’t drag out chatting so long. The chat was going very well for a couple weeks off and on and they seemed actually pretty patient while she recovered. I asked today about whether we should squeeze in a dinner to get to k ow each other first. He is experienced in the LS and she is pretty new. He said it was ok and they didn’t need courting. So I made a VERY innocent joke. I said “How do you know Jane doesn’t need courting. She’s pretty new after all! “. He suddenly snapped with a sarcastic response and left the chat. She was confused and then explained me questioning his speaking for her rubbed him the wrong way. She then left. One comment that was a tease and GONE after a couple weeks of nice interaction. People suck! The LS makes zero difference that people generally suck. So frustrated right now. So many times stupid crap like this has happened. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post
GoldCoCouple 4,066 Posted November 21, 2019 Look at the bright side: they saved you the time and effort of finding out what they are really like. Finding a great match is HARD, but worth the time and effort when you find it. Charles Schiltz drew a Peanuts a poster that I had when I was in elementary school (WAYYYYYY back then). It had Linus saying 'I love humanity, it's people that I can't stand'. That has always stuck with me. Some people just suck (but the exception are the people on this board) 4 Quote Share this post Link to post
hkdilbert 182 Posted November 21, 2019 There are idiots in every walk of life. Don't let it get you down. Just be happy you did not spend time with them. Gives you more time to pursue more meaningful relationships. 2 Quote Share this post Link to post
enhancer 1,585 Posted November 21, 2019 There are more flakes out there online then there are real people! That is something we figured out early on in our searching. Which I why we do not use the chat features, KIK, text, cam or anything else that is just going to be a waste of time. For us it is simple. If the other people have good clear pictures and good clear profiles with the info we need to see to get our interest we keep it to minimal messages on the site to organize a meeting in person and go from there. If they insist on a bunch of back and forth chatting non stop before actually meeting we bail. Sure we might miss out on the odd match here and there, because we won’t KIK back and forth or camp out on the chat forums, but we also don’t end up wasting a bunch of time on people that more then likely are never going to get past that and actually meet. Seems there are more people out there that like to talk about the lifestyle then there are that actually live it. Let them talk and waste someone else’s time instead of yours. Quote Share this post Link to post
padoc 1,703 Posted November 21, 2019 You dodged a bullet or almost kissed a frog. Either way, be glad you didn't waste more time on them. While nuance and tone are difficult to detect on chat or IM or even emails, sense of humor isn't. We've found that people who can't keep it light, joke a bit or laugh are generally not much fun in the sack. Don't give them a 2nd thought. 2 Quote Share this post Link to post
Sawman 84 Posted November 21, 2019 That's why the call it dating. If someone can't come out for coffee or an adult beverage, one hour maximum, they aren't for real. Meet and greet, no thank you, is the adult thing to do. Quote Share this post Link to post
MadlyInLuv 94 Posted November 21, 2019 There are more flakes out there online then there are real people! That is something we figured out early on in our searching. Which I why we do not use the chat features, KIK, text, cam or anything else that is just going to be a waste of time. For us it is simple. If the other people have good clear pictures and good clear profiles with the info we need to see to get our interest we keep it to minimal messages on the site to organize a meeting in person and go from there. If they insist on a bunch of back and forth chatting non stop before actually meeting we bail. Sure we might miss out on the odd match here and there, because we won’t KIK back and forth or camp out on the chat forums, but we also don’t end up wasting a bunch of time on people that more then likely are never going to get past that and actually meet. Seems there are more people out there that like to talk about the lifestyle then there are that actually live it. Let them talk and waste someone else’s time instead of yours. We have definitely figured that out. However, the wife is recovering from surgery so we are grounded for a few weeks. They reached out, so we answered. They WERE being nice and patient until this bizarre incident. Waste of freakin time. I’m usually a very forgiving (almost too forgiving) person whereas my wife is more abrupt. Well I’ve had my fill of these psycho flakes on these sites. Quote Share this post Link to post
njbm 2,871 Posted November 22, 2019 People vet themselves. We’ve been in the lifestyle for five years, infrequently meet people online. We do better on cruises and resorts, even that leaves us perplexed. Quote Share this post Link to post
Thegreyarea 100 Posted November 24, 2019 I feel your pain. My wife just had a full hysterectomy this week, so we’re out of commission for 8 weeks. I don’t even feel like messaging anyone back because of this. I try to answer all messages even if it’s just to say no thanks but right now I’m just in a holding pattern. We usually like to set up meeting for drinks quickly and go from there. I’d hate to message someone back and say we’re interested, we’ll message you back in 2 months. A couple of our friends know what’s going on but I just don’t feel like explaining to new people. Quote Share this post Link to post
ntx_partycouple 16 Posted January 3, 2020 We’ve been chatting with a couple waiting for my wife to be cleared for sexual activity from getting her tubes tied. Normally we wouldn’t drag out chatting so long. The chat was going very well for a couple weeks off and on and they seemed actually pretty patient while she recovered. I asked today about whether we should squeeze in a dinner to get to k ow each other first. He is experienced in the LS and she is pretty new. He said it was ok and they didn’t need courting. So I made a VERY innocent joke. I said “How do you know Jane doesn’t need courting. She’s pretty new after all! “. He suddenly snapped with a sarcastic response and left the chat. She was confused and then explained me questioning his speaking for her rubbed him the wrong way. She then left. One comment that was a tease and GONE after a couple weeks of nice interaction. People suck! The LS makes zero difference that people generally suck. So frustrated right now. So many times stupid crap like this has happened. I bet what happened is you touched a nerve... like possibly she's into dinner/drinks and he isn't and he knew it was going to lead to an argument. Probably didn't have anything to do with you other then tripping over it. Just a SWAG, I wouldn't put much faith in it. We've had several do things like that recently Quote Share this post Link to post
Havoc_Tia 27 Posted January 6, 2020 Pretty much agree with everyone else here. Seems you saved yourself some time. I'd just move on and look for something better. I'm of the opinion of that comic quote up above "I love mankind, it's people that I can't stand". I feel like I tell my wife this daily and she rolls her eyes at me. Quote Share this post Link to post
JessicaJamison 861 Posted November 23, 2020 On 11/21/2019 at 11:05 AM, MadlyInLuv said: We’ve been chatting with a couple waiting for my wife to be cleared for sexual activity from getting her tubes tied. Normally we wouldn’t drag out chatting so long. The chat was going very well for a couple weeks off and on and they seemed actually pretty patient while she recovered. I asked today about whether we should squeeze in a dinner to get to k ow each other first. He is experienced in the LS and she is pretty new. He said it was ok and they didn’t need courting. So I made a VERY innocent joke. I said “How do you know Jane doesn’t need courting. She’s pretty new after all! “. He suddenly snapped with a sarcastic response and left the chat. She was confused and then explained me questioning his speaking for her rubbed him the wrong way. She then left. One comment that was a tease and GONE after a couple weeks of nice interaction. People suck! The LS makes zero difference that people generally suck. So frustrated right now. So many times stupid crap like this has happened. It is hard to read tone in a text or a chat or an email. He was probably in a bad mood when he read it and put tone on it. Honestly it does come off like you are trying to speak for his girlfriend. I would leave this jokes for in person. Swingers are constantly under scrutiny of the community you don't know how many times he may have been attacked for dragging this poor innocent girl into a world of debauchery. (This is said with sarcasm) Society likes to butt there nose in where it does not belong. Quote Share this post Link to post