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WeRblk2curious

when will the ligthbulb go off?

By WeRblk2curious, in Adventures in Swinging

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WeRblk2curious    26

WeRblk2curious
Posted

As always thanks to all who have given us Sagely advice, the wife and I greatly appreciate the input and insight we get here.

:)

 

So, just a story about a recent Meet and Greet I'd like to share:

 

The wife and I met with this couple that the wife reguarly posts in topics ( the husband like myself works a lot and doesn't have much

time for social media), and they seemed really nice and were presentable enough. So as we were discussing adventures in the LS,

the topic got around to what we ( each couple) are looking for. Well they are looking for a LTFWB situation with a lady, single or married,

and haven't had much luck. We mentioned that we were looking for a couple that we could get along with, be friends first then develop into FWB.

 

The lady then commented that "Darn! if only you guys were a bit more open." as she stroked my wife's arm.

 

Holding my glass in my hand, I said then " Darn! If only you guys had your insecurities worked out, and weren't so close minded, maybe we would be."

 

She turned red and we thanked them for the conversation and moved on to meeting others.

 

On the way home the wife and I didn't talk much about it, but i mulled it over today...

 

Every couple I meet always says "it's so hard, sometimes I just want to give up..." but to me, it would seem if you opened up more, you'd have more matches....

 

Couples who are stuck only looking for females, and striking out because their attracted to women in couples who are couple full swap, and saying their not successful...

Couples who are looking for play partners, but then limit play partners due to HWP or Race.....

 

It just strikes me as funny....if the LS was run like a job, with a boss /supervisor, and people were assigned to "depts" to make it work...a lot of these

things would go away.....

 

Oh well, if nothing else the LS has been very good for the occasional laugh and insight into the human psyche....

 

Have a great Holiday one and all!

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adamgunn    1,460

adamgunn
Posted

An intereating post, WeRBlk. You've got a point in that people restrict themselves, especially when they are first considering non-monogamy. But people are trying to fulfill their fantasies, quite often not realizing that there are other fantasies that can be so much fun.

 

As an example, I've never tried BDSM to any depth at all; I just don't think I'd care for hurting other people, or being hurt myself. But if I tried it, who knows? (No, I'm not going to go there.)

 

The thing is, once a person or couple realizes that their primary fantasy isn't available, they often say, "Well, what *can* we do?" Then they try something else, something that's more feasible, and wind up having a ball. Just goes to show, you can give advice and wisdom, but most people tend to learn only from their own experience.

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enhancer    1,585

enhancer
Posted

Totally understand why you would be annoyed by couples hitting up just the wife for a threesome, because they can’t find their unicorn! People like this are just as annoying as the guys trying to hit up the woman to play alone if not even more so. If a couple says they only play together then people should respect that and leave them alone if they are not interested in a couple. Not sure what makes them feel so special that women are just going to ditch their man to play with them. We just tell them no she is not interested in playing with you alone, but we will gladly play with their wife alone. That is usually enough to never have them bug you again.

 

As for the part you wrote about if it was like a job with people telling people what to do with who no fucking thanks. If it was like a job we wouldn’t be doing it. Being a swinger doesn’t and shouldn’t mean you are part of a club where everyone has to be with everyone else, because they are part of the same club. We already have an incredible sex life with a person we find incredibly sexy in each other. If being part of this life meant we had to settle with being with people we don’t find attractive or do things we don’t want to do then we would just go back to living life with each other only and be completely happy. It is our bodies and we will decide who we want to share them with. Yes it means there will be less options, but that is alright with us. Quality over quantity.

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Jane1902    476

Jane1902
Posted

Everyone is different and not everybody wants the same thing. People just need to be respectful in how they communicate their desires. It may seem someone is limiting themselves by specifying a limited age range, couples only, full swap only same room, no smokers, friends first, HWP, whatever that is their choice. I know I am not attracted to pushy people trying to tell me what I should like and will enjoy if only I give them a chance. I am not directing this to anyone in particular. Many couples have profiles saying no single men and yet there are always a few that think they are the exception.

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