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So we took in a very good friend about six weeks ago following a very ugly split with her ex. We have know both of them for about ten years and started playing together about three years ago. I actually have known her much longer and before we started hanging out as couples.

 

Anyway, things have evolved to a point where we are sharing our bed 4-5 nights per week. We are playing together and separately. For example, in the morning it’s not unusual for me to come out of the shower and find her and my husband snuggling, touching and even fucking. I actually love seeing them together and have no feelings of jealousy. She and I are doing the same and actually took the day off Wednesday and simply spent the day in bed alone while he was at work. It’s not all about sex, but it’s clear that she really loves him and I think he feels the same about her. I know that I care deeply for her and may actually be in love as well.

 

We prepare meals together, hang out in the evenings together, play together and still swing separately, but it is definitely decreasing. Everything feels very natural and relaxed and we are all content - have we found ourselves slipping into a true polyamorous relationship? I never really thought about it and we were talking about it last night.

 

Thoughts? Warnings? This is uncharted territory.

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Damn!! That guy from the Burgh is right again!!!! Enjoy it for what it is. I too was somewhat envious in reading your post, it sounds like a lovely situation. The fact that you've known her for a long time and played with her prior to this situation means that most, if not all of the surprises have already been revealed. It was kind of you to take her in. That it developed from there is a wonderful bonus.

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The only red flag to me is that six weeks is an awfully short time.

Rebound sex plus some NRE might easily be mistaken for love.

 

These were my thoughts too. I would try to just enjoy the moment for what it is without trying to think too much about defining what it actually is, then in due time I the true answer will probably reveal itself.

 

edit - Padoc beat me to the words while I was typing out my post, so there's two votes for the what it is approach :)

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Yes you....the three of you have a fairly true poly relationship. We both have been involved with others in poly relationships...sharing lives as significant other to each other. Try hard to not define it. Try very hard to not set precedence, rule or restraint. For the three of you let this unfold. If you three can be in day to day life a full living sharing threesome it is very meaningful. The world, those around you can make life difficult....ignore them....you three be yourselves. HEZZAH!

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We have to agree...it's NRE that is fueling this. She needs a rebound guy, your husband is it. Eventually she is going to come off this high and things will cool down as she starts looking for a guy of her own. Don't take it personal, it's just part of the circle but enjoy the time that you have now.

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.. It’s not all about sex, but it’s clear that she really loves him and I think he feels the same about her. I know that I care deeply for her and may actually be in love as well... Everything feels very natural and relaxed and we are all content - have we found ourselves slipping into a true polyamorous relationship?.
It matters not what you call it, just be honest and generous and let it develop.

 

My journey into polyamory has surprised me by being as well, "natural and relaxed and we are all content." It is monogamy that is unnatural and a strain.

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Sharing love is an awesome thing. Something we need more of. I wish you all happiness.

 

The only thing I can advise is beware of jealousy. It will be the one thing that ruins everything.

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This definitely sounds like a polyamourous relationship developing, just keep in mind she is probably experiencing emotions of loneliness and abandonment as most people experience during a divorce, so essentially you and your husband are her rebound relationship.  Generally that doesn't last. Hope in your case it does cause it sounds truly beautiful.  Good luck babe.  ???

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On 11/29/2019 at 6:59 AM, Bluespruce1 said:

in the morning it’s not unusual for me to come out of the shower and find her and my husband snuggling, touching and even fucking. I actually love seeing them together and have no feelings of jealousy.

For me, I do have strong feelings of jealousy but it make me love seeing them together.  The jealousy applies to both.  My time with each of them will come later and be made more intense because of what I saw.  That time is occasionally only minutes later when I am invited in to join them.  Or I can go down the hall and see if Clair and Red are up to anything... 

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I am interested to see that we are not the only ones who slipped into this relationship. We decided to to entertain husbands fetish of watchng wife in a MFM to get there we had a couple stumbles that led to hubs deciding wife is far more qualified to locate a male to her liking. In this process she fould someone who is actually very cool and gentle to her and the three of us get along very well. We go out together at times and spend nearly every weekend together. Both men are straight. We operate as a throuple for the most part, at least on weekends. This was initially going to be a MFM threesome but it has become much more. We are all very rstpectful of each other and our feelings/emotions. WBoth men have sex with her individually much more than we do as MFM, we do watch each other but also have closed door time as well. It isn't what we set out for but is a truly loving a caring relationship. We have no idea where this is headed. For now we will keep it staus quo but it could be a long term thing.

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1 hour ago, PhunTimes727 said:

hubs deciding wife is far more qualified to locate a male to her liking.

Smart. Very smart.

1 hour ago, PhunTimes727 said:

We are all very rstpectful of each other and our feelings/emotions.

Regardless of the type of relationship, this is key, be respectful and generous with your partners. Put them first and you will be paid back many times over.

1 hour ago, PhunTimes727 said:

Both men have sex with her individually much more than we do as MFM, we do watch each other but also have closed door time as well.

These combinations are a big part of the joy of the lifestyle. Having sex with others, alone and together with my spouse in various combinations, has made the wonderful relationship we had nto something even better.

1 hour ago, PhunTimes727 said:

We have no idea where this is headed.

So long as you all continue with respect and generosity, it will turn out well.

 

 

On 11/29/2019 at 7:40 AM, lcmim said:

Rebound sex plus some NRE might easily be mistaken for love.

If it does burn out and she finds someone else, then you can all celebrate. 

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      John also told me to watch the attachment as he sent "more than a photo".  I opened the attachment and saw two things: a photo of my wife's face with his cock in her mouth, pressing her cheek from the inside so I could see his cock bump pushing out her cheek. And he also sent me a video that lasted a few minutes of him fucking her.  He told me not to worry, that he'd delete both the photo and video, but I told him I wanted him to keep it so he'd always be able to look back on how they looked fucking each other. 
       
      And that relationship lasted around 15 years.  After fucking John about 10 times Sue told me that she noticed something different and wanted to be honest with me.  I asked her what she was talking about.  She said it felt like John was "fucking" her at times like he was paying for it but other times it was more emotional, it was starting to feel like he was "making love" to her. I told her I guess that would be normal after seeing someone consistently that you liked.  I told her I was ok with that. 
       
      She then said she was starting to feel like she was making love to him at times, that it was emotional for her as well feeling like she was giving her body to someone she cared about as a friend.  She wasn't having any feelings of being in love with him, but she was getting some emotional connection where she wanted to give herself to him when they saw each other.  It turned me on. The frequency of sex got less over the last couple of years but he and I estimated, that not counting the three months she worked for him and they fucked anywhere from 2-4 times a week, that he had fucked her somewhere between 50-100 times. 
       
      And to this day, years later, the thought that she's been fucked so much by the same guy is a turn-on.  We all still remain friends today.  I thought that would be the end of our openess in our marriage but there would be two other men that would enter our lives, both of which got substantial time with my hotwife.  And she wanted it. 
       
      If you'd like to read about it, let me know and I'll write it up.
    • By spicylife42
      The hubs and I were very active in the lifestyle for several years.  We had a great time, we had lax rules where we were ok with each other playing solo.  I traveled with him on business and had a particular lover I was completely head over heals for.  The sex was like no other, he felt it too.  Fast forward many years, we’re out of the lifestyle. He became an alcoholic and our marriage imploded.  During all of this, we had split briefly. He came back but I let him know that I didn’t have feelings for him anymore.  We could try to coexist, for the family.  We have lived this way for 6/7 years.  Last fall T, reached out to me and I went to see him.  It was electric, as it always is.

      Well I was planning to see him again, and I was going to tell the hubs b4 I left, that I was going to see T.  Explosion!  He had suspected since last fall, how can he ever believe me again, oh yeah sure I was going to tell him... yada yada.  Hubs says well if this is the way we are going to spend the rest of our marriage we might as well get a divorce.

      He’s the one that drug me kicking and screaming into the lifestyle, we allowed each other freedoms.  I’m heartbroken and mad! 
    • By couplers
      Hi this is Petra, member of a three-woman, two-guy closed poly family. I am a long-time member of the Swingersboard, so if you want more background, you can look at previous posts. We are all now in our thirties and have found that while it used to be that the two guys could adequately take care of us three women, that is shifting. The guys have slacked off a little, while the women's desire for sex has increased. While it helps that we girls are bisexual and can help each other, we also seem to need (or at least want) more frequent sex with the guys. Penis-in-vagina intercourse is what we girls want, and the three of us women cum relatively easily, so a quick screw is satisfying.
       
      Anyone else facing a similar situation? The way we have primarily addressed this is by making one of our guys service two girls, her cumming while he holds back, then taking care of the second. Any thoughts?
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