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pusher6811

Why did she cry after first swinging experience?

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Hey all, Well I need some insight from the ladies.

 

My wife and I have played at a few clubs but just let others watch as I totally respect her boundaries. Each time we went she got so wet when we had sex in front of others but she was still shy looking at people. Well we were talking about if she would feel more comfortable if we chose a guy to watch us in a hotel. Then I asked what about an erotic massage from me and another guy.....she said she thought she could do that. Well last month we took that next step and did the soft swing. We invited another guy to join us in a hotel and gave her an erotic massage. The guy was so respectful and we NEVER got rough. When we flipped her over, she got so wet when both of us gave her oral and fingered her. We made her have the most intense orgasm I've EVER seen her have. She almost fell off the table it was so intense. Then just me and my wife had sex in front of the other guy. Oh, she was blindfolded the entire time and never saw the other guy in order to make her more comfortable and avoid embarrassment.

 

The thing is, after he left and I took off the blindfold she started to cry. I asked her why and she asked why I didn't look at her as a slut now.....WHAT!? I assured her I loved her immensely and I would never see her that way.

 

My question is, she got so wet and into it but cried after.....do you think she felt guilty for enjoying it so much? Or do you think it was too much for her?

 

I try and talk with her but it seems like she's scared to talk. I guess I'm confused.....did any of you feel that way after the first time? I'm hoping that it's normal.....kind of like loosing your virginity......She said she enjoyed it and wants to do it again in a few months but the crying thing has me concerned.

 

Any advice or how you felt the first time would help......thanks.

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... I try and talk with her but it seems like she's scared to talk. ......She said she enjoyed it and wants to do it again in a few months ...
Only she could know, and maybe even she doesn't. Give her time, patience and understanding. If she says that she is willing to try again in a few months, that's a good sign. Don't pressure her and let her take the lead on what to do and how she wants to do it.

 

Sex can be emotional. One woman who we play with occasionally gets weepy, but we've learned it's a happy cry. So long as it's all voluntary. (Usually it's the opposite, however; the women tend to go into unemotional kinky mode.)

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do you think she felt guilty for enjoying it so much?

 

Yes

 

Or do you think it was too much for her?

 

Yes

 

I asked her why and she asked why I didn't look at her as a slut now

 

Society and religion has taught us (especially women) that if you have sex with multiple people or too many people, you are a slut [period] Nothing else matters like if your partner was there, involved, and supporting what was happening. Doesn't matter if she enjoyed it (if fact, that makes it worse). Keep giving her the reassurance and support to make her feel more comfortable with it. Also, you really need to work on having her be able to open up and talk with you about this. Just keep on letting her know how much you love her and things should get better as she understands that she did nothing wrong.

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Numex, thank you for the advice. I told her that she is in control of what happens.....and doesn’t happen. Also I’ve been extremely attentive and loving since it happened in the hopes that she realizes she did nothing wrong and I love her. Trying to make sure we just take baby steps.....thanks again!!

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Gold, thank you so much! Good point on the religion thing! She is hispanic and raised Catholic. Yes I was going to approach it again after Christmas. I’ve made sure to be extra loving and attentive to make sure she knows my love has NOT changed.....thanks again!!!

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On 12/10/2019 at 8:48 AM, pusher6811 said:

Hey all, Well I need some insight from the ladies. My wife and I have played at a few clubs but just let others watch as I totally respect her boundaries. Each time we went she got so wet when we had sex in front of others but she was still shy looking at people. Well we were talking about if she would feel more comfortable if we chose a guy to watch us in a hotel. Then I asked what about an erotic massage from me and another guy.....she said she thought she could do that. Well last month we took that next step and did the soft swing. We invited another guy to join us in a hotel and gave her an erotic massage. The guy was so respectful and we NEVER got rough. When we flipped her over, she got so wet when both of us gave her oral and fingered her. We made her have the most intense orgasm I've EVER seen her have. She almost fell off the table it was so intense. Then just me and my wife had sex in front of the other guy. Oh, she was blindfolded the entire time and never saw the other guy in order to make her more comfortable and avoid embarrassment. The thing is, after he left and I took off the blindfold she started to cry. I asked her why and she asked why I didn't look at her as a slut now.....WHAT!? I assured her I loved her immensely and I would never see her that way. My question is, she got so wet and into it but cried after.....do you think she felt guilty for enjoying it so much? Or do you think it was too much for her? I try and talk with her but it seems like she's scared to talk. I guess I'm confused.....did any of you feel that way after the first time? I'm hoping that it's normal.....kind of like loosing your virginity......She said she enjoyed it and wants to do it again in a few months but the crying thing has me concerned. Any advice or how you felt the first time would help......thanks.

 I had a similar thing happen to me after the first time I had sex with this girl -- but we were both in 10th grade, so...

?

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On 12/10/2019 at 10:06 AM, pusher6811 said:

... I told her that she is in control of what happens.....and doesn’t happen. Also I’ve been extremely attentive and loving since it happened in the hopes that she realizes she did nothing wrong and I love her. .

My wife had doubts and unexpected emotions when she first started having sex with two of her exes for whom she had fond memories.   Looking back, it's hard to believe we spent so much time talking about it beforehand and analyzing it afterwards.   But it got us to the point where we now both play with other couples, alone and together, with little thought. 

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Hispanic culture and catholic upbringing are tremendous hurdles to overcome on the way to sexual liberation. Im not an old hippie but sexual liberation is, in a nutshell, what swinging is all about. Mrs Doc had one husband and after him, one b/f before me.  While she wasn't catholic, she grew up in a strict patriarchal home in a very harshly judgmental religion. She had to work through a lot of guilt to simply have  and enjoy sex outside of marriage. I had dealt with and dismissed a lot of my catholic roots as a young man in the late 70's but I remembered them enough to understand her feelings. We talked a LOT. We had lots of playful sex and she began to realize that something that felt so good and was so much fun couldn't be a sin. After exploring and enjoying sex with me and before that with her b/f it was a much shorter leap for us to start to explore swinging. She's still a believer, in fact, she often goes to church on Sunday morning after a swingers party on Saturday!  I think we've concluded that since swinger sex takes place within our marriage then its part of our marriage and therefore not a sin.  I can thank the Jesuits in the catholic high I attended for helping me logically define that rationalization. 

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She: I don't want to use the term "slut" to describe myself, even though I like to play with other men. That is not how my husband sees me, and I am secure in that. I know he enjoys watching me with other guys, and I like seeing him play too. We get a rush watching each other enjoy themselves. Maybe you can take that approach, that she is even more sexy and desierable to you because she plays.

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We are complex, and we are emotional, we feel all the feels.  She probably felt vulnerable and exposed, and that brings up emotions.  We are capable of liking something while not liking it at the same time.  My first time in a group sex situation i had spent a couple hours being naked, groped, fingers and fucked by 5 different guys.  It was intense, arousing, painful, violating, sexy, naughty, humiliating, satisfying and overwhelming all at the same time.  I felt sexy and i felt like a slut at the same time.  When we were done I felt a lot of emotions and all I wanted was to cover up with the blanket, but there were two guys laying in the bed on top of the covers on both sides of me and I couldn't get under the covers.  So I cried, it was bad, which made me embarrassed so I cried even more, and didn't stop until about a half hour after the men all left feeling very deflated and uncomfortable.  I didn't want to cry, but its the only thing I could do in the moment.  After I got it out I honestly felt good, even though my hoo hoo and my booty was sore as fuck, I felt really good, satisfied.  I even did it again with different guys a month later without crying.  

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I will never forget the first time I saw Sabrina "being penetrated" (fucked). We were at a house party and she had beenn in the hot tub with three other females, whose husband, SOs wrre otherwise occupied. They quickly moved from the hot tub to a bedroom. I watched them play for well over an hour. They finally decided to bring me in and after they had their fun with me, the told me to go get some guys. I found three single guys and brought them into the room. Sabrina latched onto a tall, built guy and he immediately got his clothes off. She gave him head long enough to get him hard, she rolled a condom on him and laid him on his back. She climbed onto his rock hard cock and started down. At first I felt the green jealousy monster rising up, until I  heard her moan from pleasure. She rode him for a while then he fucked her doggy. She is multi orgasmic so she had several orgasms before he came. She ended up being fucked by all three. It was only fair, I had sex with all three of the other females. On the way home she was upset and close to tears. She told me she did not want me to think she was a slut. I told her I  did not and that the experience was incredible, especially watching her fuck and cum. After that our swinging life took off. 

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      Well the day we both have been looking forward too occurred this past weekend. We managed to round up 7 guys for an all night gangbang. It involved a lot of planning and phone calls. We’ve noticed that guys will be all in at first then drop out later. But eventually we got things going. That night when everyone arrived she was kinda nervous but excited to have that many cocks at once. Most of all, she finally had double penetration in her vagina from two guys for the first time. The strange thing I seemed more nervous than her. Lol But she absolutely enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed watching her. She came hard many times. She doesn’t like anal so that wasn’t attempted.
       
      So after joining in all the fun and after almost two hours of great sex we had the grand finale. My sexy wife knelt down and we all gave her an awesome bukkake. Her face was drenched with cum. It was one heck of a hot night. After everyone left we took a long shower and stayed up almost all night talking about it. We were both so turned on that we were already making plans for the next one. But we are gonna take a break for about three weeks. It’s just going to be me and her for now.
       
      Yesterday she mentioned about having a messy cum sex in the near future after watching a great creampie movie. I was like, a messy cum sex? She asked me what I would think about her having a messy gooey bukkake and creampie night. Having about 4 guys cum all over her face while 4 guys cum inside her. Then rubbing the cum all over her breasts. Man, just listening to her drove me crazy. My wife was willing to be explosive. But that would take lots of planning because we are very cautious. My wife cannot get pregnant anymore so that’s really something we don’t have to worry about. It’s about the unprotected sex. We do know many cool friends well enough that we can trust but still we must remain careful. Yet, I’m sure it’s gonna happen very soon.
       
      I’ve been asked if we have taken it too far. If there’s actually any sign of regrets. Some close friends wonder about my wife wanting too much now. Our answer is no because we enjoy it and have a deep understanding and trust. We are responsible adults and are having fun. We first talk about what we’re going to do and have to both agree 100%. Any sign of doubt from either side we will not do it. We are friends with our sex partners but no feelings are involved or ever shared. We have proven that to ourselves already.
    • By KatrinaandDriverX
      For me, it's not about having sex or sex acts or multiple partners. It is about 'feeding' different aspects of my personality, occasionally, in diverse ways with sex. It transcends role playing, it's a sexual moment as I'm giving, yielding, engaging and driving my partner(s) into an exquisite moment. To build them up, for the men to enter me in a pure moment that thrills or kissing a woman with tongues plunging deeply. I love it when someone I may have just met can surrender to me and I to them. Then, once we're done that it's perfectly alright to go to the next partner and, who knows, have that same person again later that night (or not). Or, if it's simply to play with another couple, have the sex with the husband be so great that the wife thanks me. Then, of course, there's the knowledge of my husband having another girl, whether it be a wife  or innocent bystander, knowing she just might be asking herself if watching me fuck means my husband must be amazing (he is). 
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