Confused Partners

[vegas32 15]

Hi everyone, I need some advise. My wife is bisexual and has been her whole life. Prior to us being married she has slept with multiple women. When we got married we decided to have threesomes as a way to fulfill her sexuality and also have me involved. We have had several over the years. We had a rule where she can do what she wants but I was not able to have intercourse with the girls. This rule has changed in the middle of the fun multiple times and it has sometimes caused some jealousy with my wife. We joined an app a few months ago to help find girls to join us. The rule was the same, no sex with the girls for me. Well, that recently changed again. We met one girl online and we had her over for some fun. No sex for me again. We opened the lines of communication for me to be involved more and get to know her. Then we started talking a list being poly with her. My wife agreed and then we found ourselves with a girlfriend. As time went by my wife grew more jealous of her based on my behavior towards the other girl and my wife. My wife felt that I was treating her differently than the other girl. My wife and I would get into some major fights over this relationship. We decided to end the relationship with the girl but only see her on a casual sex basis. When we hang out with her they are close, holding hands and talking and I am just there. I have distanced myself from the other based on my wife thinking at one point I wanted to leave her for the other girl. I have since expressed that I wanted to have intercourse with the other girl based on what I have seen when we are in bed together. It is an extreme turn on to see them together. Because I have expressed this my wife is saying that she doesn’t want me to have sex with her. Because of all the arguing over this situation my wife now doesn’t want to have girls join us anymore. I am more on the side of wanting to be with girls and maybe have a relationship with another girl but with my wife too. My wife is always saying how she doesn’t want that and she wants this other girl to go away but never tells her that. They talk all the time and are sweet to each other but when me and my wife talk about her, I get the jealous responses. Now I am wanting to continue this lifestyle and wife doesn’t. This other girl has recently told my wife that she has intimate feelings for her. This whole time this other girl was not looking for a couple. We had convinced her to give it a try and now she is comfortable with us but is ultimately there just for my wife. I feel left out at times and judged for my feelings but my wife is doing the same things by getting close to her now. My wife is constantly upset with me because I have expressed my want to have sex with the other girl, not by myself but In the threesome. She’s also upset because I can’t explain the reason why I want to with this particular individual. We have had other girls over and my wife was ok with me having sex with them but doesn’t want me to have sex with this particular girl. I don’t want to lie to my wife and she has said that this other girl can stay around but only if I change my wanting to have sex with her. I don’t know how to do that but I also don’t know how to make my wife understand that just because this happens doesn’t mean I am leaving her for this other girl. Any advise would be appreciated.

[Fitlakecouple 451]

Seems like your wife wants a GF with no involvement from you. Let her have her f/f fun. Give her some space and freedom. She'll love you for it.

[vegas32 15]

She has told me over and over that she doesn’t want that cause I recently suggested that.

[Numex 2,416]

She has told me over and over that she doesn’t want that cause I recently suggested that.

Women will say something is okay, but it really isn't. You're supposed to figure that out.

[enhancer 1,585]

She also told you that she didn’t want you to have intercourse with the other women, but that has changed in the middle of play and caused jealousy on her part! It doesn’t sound like you two have the communication part of this lifestyle down very well and without it there are only going to be problems a long the way.

 

If it really is about her and her bi sexuality then let it be about that. She sets the rules and you follow them. If that is not what it is really about then maybe it is time to be honest with each other about what it is. If you can’t find a common ground then you might want to step away from the extra play and just work on each other and the relationship that is supposed to matter the most.

[JessicaJamison 861]

Great job you badgered her into not wanting to fulfill her fantasy.  I'm gonna come right out and say it, you fucked up.  You had a rule, you do not fuck the girl.  But then you beg to fuck the girl.  So she feels guilty and gives in.  But she knew herself when she created the rule.  She said no sex between you and the girl because she would be jealous and you would treat the new girl better than her.  And thats exactly what happened.  You straight up screwed up.  If you keep pushing this you will just be pushing her farther away from this.  You either let her have alone time with the girl, no shows no sex but you have the fantasy, and maybe you eventually get the shows back.  Or you let it go and she doesn't date women just you.