Ugh, uncomfortable moment during sex

[vegas32 15]

We recently introduced a strap on into our bed. It was originally for me to have sex with both my wife and the other girl. ( I am not allowed to have sex with the other girl with my penis) It was fun at first until my wife put the strap on on and started having sex with the girl. At first it was ok but then my wife got really rough with it. She was going to hard that the other girl couldn’t even do oral on me. Then my wife just rolls her over to missionary and then I am immediately excluded. I gave the code word that I was uncomfortable and my wife got kissed off at me and said I was rediculous. Needless to say, it caused an argument. Then I am sleeping and a here covers moving. I look up and my wife is fingering the other girl again, even after I was uncomfortable with what had just happened. Am I justified in being upset with my wife for the strap on activity and then the fingering during the night even though we just had an argument about the sexual activity?

[padoc 1,703]

This hobby is about sex and having erotic fun. Apparently, as described above, the wife and the other woman were having fun and it sounds erotic as hell. What's wrong with watching two naked women playing? You weren't getting your dick sucked? This made you"uncomfortable"? You're kidding right? You sound like a whiney snowflake. And what's with a man not heavily involved in BDSM having a code word? Just what exactly was dangerous or frightening about two naked women enjoying themselves? Oh, I forgot, you weren't getting your dick sucked! I kind of feel sorry for your wife and the other woman. Your little snit probably ruined a nice experience for them. You might want to re-think your recreational choices. By the way, pouting during a threesome is NOT sexually attractive.

[lcmim 1,083]

You were having a thresome.

There was an incident sufficient for a code word and an argument.

The third remained in the bed all night?

 

Maybe just maybe going over your protocol for dealing with code words and/or arguments is in order.

 

In our case cessation would mean just that until we, as a couple , had worked things out.

 

The third remaining sends a signal that the fun is not yet over for the night.

[lcmim 1,083]

padoc, We are not predominantly a BDSM couple. We do, however, have a mechanism to communicate trouble if either experience it.

 

While you are probably spot on with your analysis of exactly what the problem was for him, he does have the right to have those feelings. They will most likely be transitory They do need to be talked through as a couple in order for them both to grow.

 

I do appreciate your tough love approach most times.

If I thought he was a habitual weenie I would not be interjecting this comment.

 

He did come here for perspective. He gets points for that.

[vegas32 15]

First of all I am far from a winey snowflake! Second, where does it say that a man cannot feel insecure about a part of a sexual experience? It wasn’t about me not getting my dick sucked. It was about the way my wife was fucking her. It was our first experience with a strap on and at the moment, I felt like my wife was doing it in a way that was far from sexy. We developed a code word specifically for times where one of us felt uncomfortable with what the other was doing with the other person. Trust me, my wife has a long list of things I can and can’t do, and I respect them all. Just because you or anyone else feels the way you do, doesn’t mean I have to feel that way.

[vegas32 15]

Yes, I did come here for perspective, thank you! I respect everyone comments on the matter too.

 

We have a lot of rules and boundaries and my wife constantly makes those rules and breaks them.

 

It was my idea to introduce the strap on, because I am unable to have sex with the other girl. But, it was far from sexy. It was like my wife was deliberately trying to hurt the other girl and we are just not into that and it made me feel uncomfortable.

 

I guess I felt jealous cause I was unable to have sex with her and here is my wife pounding away at her. It almost seemed like my wife was rubbing it in that she was doing and I could not.

[padoc 1,703]

The last sentence demonstrates that you may be getting to the crux of the matter. The fact that the woman stayed and they started to play again during the night is indicative that she didn't mind what your wife was doing. You were apparently the only one of the three who did. We discovered a long time ago that the more "rules and boundaries" a couple has the more risk of hurt feelings and unhappy endings.

[vegas32 15]

Thank you for bringing this back to be constructive for me. My wife is super worried that I am going to leave her for this other girl hence the reason she doesn’t want me to have sex with her. I can have sex with any of the other girls that come over but not this one. I don’t want to sound like a typical, perverted man, but we have been all sleeping together for a while now. The arrangement almost feels like a triad. This all happened when I expressed to my mice that yes, I would like to have sex with this girl. I just don’t know how to make her understand that the reason I want to have sex with her is because I been watching them engage in some pretty hot sessions and certain feelings come up. Now, I seen first hand how this girl would take a penis inside her and not I want her more. I don’t want to hurt my wife, but we are going to be sleeping with this girl more and would just like my wife to understand where I am coming from without making her feel uncomfortable for insecure or jealous

[Jane1902 476]

I see a red flag in that your wife is okay with your having sex with other women but just not this one. It’s not just insecure but controlling. She is not able to control how she feels (insecure or jealous) so this is her reaction to the situation. It seems like this could become more of a wedge between you and not a good idea as a triad. I wonder if what your wife really wants is just her to play with this woman without you at all. We can’t control how we feel, but it’s what we do with those feelings that matters.

[Numex 2,420]

What is it about this other woman that both of you are jealous over her? Is it her body, or the way she acts?