Friends or strangers?

[Mike6216 34]

To be clear, me and my wife have only swung once. It was a full swap with some close friends, but reading some of these posts, it sounds as though most people prefer to swap with strangers. What do most people enjoy and why? Like I said, we have only done it once. And though we both thoroughly enjoyed it and are open to doing it again, we are not to the point where we are making a lifestyle change. But it seems like doing it with strangers would be terrible. I feel the only reason we participated the one time is because it was with trusted friends. Do you do it with strangers because it's a turn on, or because you dont have friends in the lifestyle?

[EastInWest 1,524]

When we started, I was very confident that playing with strangers, as in a club setting, was the only way to go. It turned out that playing with a couple we knew was what she needed in order to get over the last mental barrier.

 

With that said, we've pulled in a half dozen strangers for MFM since then from vanilla pickup settings. It's always been interesting and never "terrible", although people are people and we realize it could be. Sometimes it's lack of availability but also she never really had casual sex when she was younger and single, sometimes she decides she wants to do it again and since it aligns with what I'm interested in, I'm all for it.

[findinganswers 369]

Friends are the best. We started with friends and looking back it was the only way we could have started. It was a great experience playing with people we already enjoyed being with. I never thought I would ever have sex with my wife’s best friend though in my head I wondered. Then it happened. The only strangers we enjoyed were friends of friends. There is an excitement of a new partner without the worry of who these new people are. Not that there isn’t some doubts even if they passed the scrutiny of others we know. I don’t worry about my wife with our friends. I know she is safe.

[SJBluebirds 195]

I think it has more to do with not wanting to ruin a great friendship, if the situation is mis-read and the other couple isn't interested in playing with the two of you; it will always be in the back of their mind: "Do they only want to be friends because they're [you] are trying to seduce us?" or worse, "I can't be friends with him because he wants to sleep with my wife."

 

If it -- playing with friends -- happens naturally, organically, then that's awesome and you're very lucky. Given the small percentage of people involved in alternative sexual practices, it is statistically unlikely your friends are open to playing with you.

 

Personally, we value our friendships too much to risk approaching many of them.

[Mike6216 34]

I think it has more to do with not wanting to ruin a great friendship, if the situation is mis-read and the other couple isn't interested in playing with the two of you; it will always be in the back of their mind: "Do they only want to be friends because they're [you] are trying to seduce us?" or worse, "I can't be friends with him because he wants to sleep with my wife."

 

If it -- playing with friends -- happens naturally, organically, then that's awesome and you're very lucky. Given the small percentage of people involved in alternative sexual practices, it is statistically unlikely your friends are open to playing with you.

 

Personally, we value our friendships too much to risk approaching many of them.

 

It was natural, albeit slightly alcohol fueled. And I dont think we will have a problem finding others to play with. Surprisingly, on the night of the encounter, they told us they swing with 5 other couples that we have been friends with for years. Apparently, no one ever mentioned it because they saw my wife as the "wholesome" type and didn't think we would be into it.

[Anon321 523]

We started with MFM threesomes all with people we knew - some of my closest friends, my GF's boss, guys she went to HS with, etc. I think it was more comfortable for everyone involved because we all knew each other and we weren't really sure how to go about certain things. Experiences with people we know are almost always great experiences and we still continue to play with 99% of those people. However, we have also transitioned to strangers. There is something exciting about strangers. I think it's a combination of the build up to it and the idea that you're not always 100% sure what to expect. But I believe the best place to start is usually with good friends for most people.

[Chris&Suzanne 204]

We have done it with both, we actually enjoy with friends. Never had any issue with broken friendships, we just pick carefully.

[Guest]

Our first swing experience, an MFM, was with the guy half of a couple we had met while vacationing. He happened into town on business and wanted to meet for drinks and we ended up in his hotel room. I simply loved it and had another one going two weeks later with a guy that started chatting with us in a resort bar. We continued along those lines but added in swaps at a local couples club, again strangers. Eventually, we brough a good friend into MFM with us. Eventually, we happened into an MMFM, which I just loved, and realized that unlike MFM, you aren’t going to just happen into very many of them, it was much more easily done multiple friends so that is what we do there. But, as an ongoing activity, its still more MFM with strangers then anything else. And I do enjoy the whole flirt and seduction conversation and activity while chatting them up at a bar, it’s become a form a foreplay for me.

[adamgunn 1,460]

Are you willing to take the chance of the friendship ending in drama? Are you willing to be outted to all your friends, let them know what you've done?

 

If so, go ahead and play with friends. If not, think about it . . .

[findinganswers 369]

I am going to add that having sex with our friend might be the most exciting experience I have ever had. Looking back of course the first time I had sex was exciting too. The first time with any woman in my life has been exciting, they just naturally occurred. Sex with our friends was planned and done with a playful evening. Of course I was nervous getting completely nude in front of another couple. My wife’s friend is a very good looking woman and someone who I have seen in a sexy bathing suit. I have imagined her nude before. Having her actually nude and us playfully touching and not being romantic. We joked and played in for me a nervous way. My big fear was not exploding. I touched and explored and she made things easy. After so many years of monogamy I was tasting a willing woman. The experience was way different than my home sex which is great too. It was just a fun exciting different experience that is so hard to explain.

We soon found that other people we know play. Friends too and fun too even if I can’t say it was better than our first time. Also watching my wife with our friend’s husband was not as excited as others have said. I didn’t freak, I was hoping he wasn’t the best. He is a second husband of our friend. In the end I was happy we all had fun and have played many times again.

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

We take strangers and make them into friends! The 'problem' with using friends is that if anything goes 'south' in the relationship, there is a pretty good chance that it will leak out to everyone in the circle of friends. Say the other couple breaks up, or you just have a falling out with the other couple...the odds of ALL of your friends finding out is much higher than if something happens with 'strangers'. Lots of friends don't have relationships strong enough to be swingers or are just not 'wired' to swing. 'You won't believe what Dick and Jane suggested we do with them...they wanted to have SEX with us!'. Easier and much more successful is finding other couples that are already swinging to swing with and turn them into friends. Higher reward with less risk.

[ToeDippers 83]

Our first was with someone we knew, not a friend, not a stranger. We looked for a real stranger and couldn’t find one for what we wanted, a single woman. She has introduced us to others, some we knew, some strangers. After some time we are all friends.

[harryandmaria 20]

Being new to the game we are enjoying meeting couples who we could see being friends with and connect with in or outside the bedroom. FWB would be ideal but not with our existing friends unless we saw them on a website or at a club.

[NewSw 37]

strangers agree with your interests and certain conditions that suit you for a better time, safety and privacy

[Ronb23 15]

Strangers alone. Less chance of problems.

[Numex 2,416]

Are you willing to take the chance of the friendship ending in drama? Are you willing to be outted to all your friends, let them know what you've done?

 

If so, go ahead and play with friends. If not, think about it . . .

One of the couples in our closed group of swinging partners are long time friends, but relatively recent sex partners. What surprised me is the way things haven't changed. You would think that somehow the fact that he's putting his dick in my wife (and vice versa) would have changed the day-to-day relationship, but it hasn't.

[Guest]

Fact is, as woman, we have been dating male friends and fucking them since high school; guys that were part our circle of friends, classmates, etc. But, we all denied it to one another, we were all virgins. And now, here we are, adults still afraid that someone will rat us out for engaging and adult sexual behavior. We’ve come a long way baby? Maybe not so much.

[Sunday 119]

Done both but in my opinion is I prefer strangers -- or strangers who became swing-club friends/swap partners. Swinging with real-life friends has the potential to become awkward at times.

 

I prefer to separate the 2 lives.