We are professionals!

[enhancer 1,585]

We are professionals is one of the most overused statements we see on profiles! Why put it on your profile? Is it a classist thing? Is it supposed to mean you are more attractive, because you are a really important person? Does it mean you are only interested in meeting other super important people like yourselves?

 

Personally we could care less what people do for a living or how much material things they own. As long as they are contributing member of society they may or may not be someone we are attracted to. Their profession is going to have nothing to do with how attractive they are. We are not looking for a life partner out of this lifestyle. We already have that.

 

Are you good looking, in good shape, respectful to all people and fun to be around? Those things are going to make you attractive to us. Not how important you think you are to the rest of the world.

[EastInWest 1,524]

I think meant to be a more polite code for "not trashy", since some people are looking for that scene. I think it's not so much about money or importance as it's supposed to imply proper grooming, a clean living environment, not dropping foul language at dinner, etc., traits that you'd expect from someone able to hold down a professional job.

 

Sure, mildly snobby/classist, but intended to signal to some people not to waste their time. I can see where that leaves a lot of groomed, clean "non-professional" people in the middle going "WTF", though.

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

If you are a professional anything doesn't that mean that you get paid to do whatever it is you do? We aren't looking for unemployed swingers, we want professional ones Wait, if you are getting paid to have sex, that makes you a... nevermind. I still am looking forward to the day I can be a retired professional...getting paid not to work. Of course, working for the state I have already been accused of that.

[Jane1902 476]

I had been chatting with someone on Tinder and we were planning on meeting this weekend. He cancelled after he asked what I do for work and I answered I don’t talk about my work and would explain when we meet. Then he unliked me, said I made him feel creepy and like a stalker. He saved me the trouble of finding out.

[padoc 1,703]

You dodged a bullet Jane and you hurt his apparently tender (as opposed to tinder) feelings!!!!

[enhancer 1,585]

I think meant to be a more polite code for "not trashy", since some people are looking for that scene. I think it's not so much about money or importance as it's supposed to imply proper grooming, a clean living environment, not dropping foul language at dinner, etc., traits that you'd expect from someone able to hold down a professional job.

 

Sure, mildly snobby/classist, but intended to signal to some people not to waste their time. I can see where that leaves a lot of groomed, clean "non-professional" people in the middle going "WTF", though.

 

We see it as mildly snobby/classist and do not waste their or our time, so I guess they have accomplished that.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

I think meant to be a more polite code for "not trashy", since some people are looking for that scene. I think it's not so much about money or importance as it's supposed to imply proper grooming, a clean living environment, not dropping foul language at dinner, etc., traits that you'd expect from someone able to hold down a professional job.

 

That's the way we interpret when we see it. Not actually what you do for a living, blue collar or white collar, or how much you make doing it, but more about manners and how you present yourself.

 

I've always taken "professional" to mean something you know enough about and are good enough at you can make a living at it. I've got above average DIY skills, but just because I can replace a circuit breaker or run a new circuit doesn't make me a professional electrician, and when it's obvious I'm getting in over my head on something, Mrs. cplnuswing will just tell me "time to call a professional."

 

There have been people that met my professional definition that I've decided not to contract to do a job after having met them just because I didn't like the way they presented themselves. Many I would almost guarantee their annual income puts ours to shame, so I don't see it as a class thing since at least in the US, money seems to be the major factor on the class pecking order. Fair or not, I just perceived them as an unprofessional professional, and decided to pass. Same goes for potential playmates, there have been times we have been put off by how someone presented themselves. Nothing classist about it, we just didn't like their mannerisms and the vibe they put off.

 

Be a professional (whatever that means to you) vs act professional. Just as an aside, this question comes up enough and people have such different takes on it that I wonder it if is a regional language thing, like what first comes to mind when you read the word depends on where you call home?

[padoc 1,703]

Defined:

A professional is a member of a profession or any person who earns their living from a specified professional activity. The term also describes the standards of education and training that prepare members of the profession with the particular knowledge and skills necessary to perform their specific role within that profession. In addition, most professionals are subject to strict codes of conduct, enshrining rigorous ethical and moral obligations.

 

Whatever the hell "classist" is, it sounds pejorative. If the definition above could be summed up in one word, perhaps accomplished would fit. Associating with accomplished couples seems like it would be a GOOD thing.

[EastInWest 1,524]

I had been chatting with someone on Tinder and we were planning on meeting this weekend. He cancelled after he asked what I do for work and I answered I don’t talk about my work and would explain when we meet. Then he unliked me, said I made him feel creepy and like a stalker. He saved me the trouble of finding out.

 

The drama llama often arrives in the most unexpected ways.

[njbm 2,869]

People often vet themselves before they meet.

 

My wife and I both have advanced degrees, but we just want to meet people who are kind, nice and fun. We don’t care what they do for a living, etc.

[enhancer 1,585]

Defined:

A professional is a member of a profession or any person who earns their living from a specified professional activity. The term also describes the standards of education and training that prepare members of the profession with the particular knowledge and skills necessary to perform their specific role within that profession. In addition, most professionals are subject to strict codes of conduct, enshrining rigorous ethical and moral obligations.

 

Whatever the hell "classist" is, it sounds pejorative. If the definition above could be summed up in one word, perhaps accomplished would fit. Associating with accomplished couples seems like it would be a GOOD thing.

 

A classist is the same as classism! A prejudice or discrimination on the basis of social class.

 

Like some of the people my daughter has to deal with on a daily basis working as a server in a restaurant that talk down to her and treat her like shit, because she is viewed as less important then they are, because of where she is working.

 

Otherwise known as assholes.

[padoc 1,703]

Gotta love 21st century western civilization! There is an "ist" or "phobe" for every behavior or thought that could possibly offend anyone, particularly those who grasp at every opportunity to BE offended. That being said, some people have been assholes to waiters/waitresses for as long as there have been waiters/waitresses. Personally, I think it's generally a good idea to be nice to people who handle my food.

[enhancer 1,585]

Gotta love 21st century western civilization! There is an "ist" or "phobe" for every behavior or thought that could possibly offend anyone, particularly those who grasp at every opportunity to BE offended. That being said, some people have been assholes to waiters/waitresses for as long as there have been waiters/waitresses. Personally, I think it's generally a good idea to be nice to people who handle my food.

 

The term may be new to the 21st century, but it is something that has been present forever just like racism and homophobia!

 

Some people choose to ignore it if it doesn’t effect them directly and some people don’t. Just like some people walk away or watch as someone gets bullied and some people step into put the bully in their place. We know which kind of people we prefer to be around and don’t. Not up to us who others choose to spend their time with.

[Wornsilver 219]

Back to the term, "Professional", used in profiles: I have always thought it was code for "I have to remain anonymous, my job is at stake." Guess I was too simple.

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

I like to think that me and Ms. Gold are both professionals, act professional, and know that our jobs are at stake because of what we do for a profession.

[EastInWest 1,524]

A classist is the same as classism! A prejudice or discrimination on the basis of social class.

 

Like some of the people my daughter has to deal with on a daily basis working as a server in a restaurant that talk down to her and treat her like shit, because she is viewed as less important then they are, because of where she is working.

 

Otherwise known as assholes.

 

I get that, and fully understand where you're coming from. I'd just never considered that it might be interpreted any other way than how I'm sure it's intended: "we try to live a certain way and if you already know it will be mutually uncomfortable, let's not bother".

 

It's probably a term I would use as a throwaway without thinking about it, but on the other hand, I'm also one of those people who can't handle certain notorious suburbs because the snobbishness grosses me out.

 

I agree that it's not the best euphemism, but I'm not sure specifying "groomed, polite, well-spoken" is actually less insulting. I'm also sorry your daughter gets dumped on at work, I hope she knows it's really more about those people and their inner misery than it is about her.

[Ozzie+Harriet 84]

We are professionals is one of the most overused statements we see on profiles! Why put it on your profile? Is it a classist thing? Is it supposed to mean you are more attractive, because you are a really important person? Does it mean you are only interested in meeting other super important people like yourselves?

 

Well, a professional gets paid for skilled work that he/she does, so perhaps you should write to one of them and ask if they charge money to have sex as a couple. That would certainly make them professionals.

[hkdilbert 182]

Depending on the context it could mean pretty much anything. We've been in many situations where the term 'professional' was a nice way of referring to a prostitute.

[Guest]

I have looked at this topic since it started and my first thought was that yes, I have seen that adjective. My view from being on some dating sites was that people were trying to separate themselves in social class. Not that it made any difference as to their ability to swing, share sex, or be any good in bed. I looked at it as a class issue and that they were signaling they were super educated, certified, and that is the circle they wanted to explore.

 

I have been introspective and disturbed by some of the things I have read. I talked to my husband and he went off on the real definition of a professional and that he thought I would offend the sensibilities and assumptions of people that live as professionals. And he told me the story about the M.D. that delivered him at birth as well as his mother. Dr. ###### never went to college, studied books in a library, took the test and passed. There were no "Professional Board" for a family doctor, no requirements to have a medical degree. I know it sounds medieval, but true, and in our recent society and the power of special interests,highly paid lawyers, NGO's, and self proclaimed expert Orgs, we have the adjective, "Professional".

 

I am an executive that is well respected around the world for three decades. Does that make me a professional? My husband was a Naval Officer, a nuclear officer, and a career Navy man. Does that mean he is a professional? We both have advanced degrees, however, never have claimed we are professional. My husband flies, as a hobby, an expensive airplane, to transport kids and families on Angel flights. It's his plane, he pays for it, and has never taken a dime. He has spent hours and hours learning, training, and yet he has no piece of paper that says he is a professional pilot. He isn't being paid. How professional is that? If I screwed men for money, would that make me professional? It means you can charge billable hours?

 

And like the term professional, I have seen adjectives like, "fit", "sexy", and "hot". Don't you think that should be the judgement of someone else than yourselves?

[Guest]

I am not done on this one. I just told my husband to quit talking about my bewilderment over professionalism and he gave me some more circular philosophy. He even said that it's like obscenity, you know it when you see it. I made him write down a definition:

 

Professionalism is the ethical son of sustained superior performance while doing the right thing, doing what is right, and knowing the difference. While being professional it is the conduct that is performed when no one is looking and even harder when people are looking.

 

Quoted by my husband.

 

I tried to argue that it was more important to do something when no one is looking and he set me straight on that. He said that if you are ethical, it is easy to do the right thing when no one is looking. But, in today's world, everything is political and that the truth isn't being served. So, being professional and ethical means that you are that way no matter what.

[NC_Seniors 518]

We describe ourselves in our SLS Profile as "Retired professionals". We mean it simply to convey two facts about us:

1) We used to work for a paycheck, but we don't anymore.

2) We did white collar rather than blue collar work.

We throw it out there in the same way we throw out that we're in the gym 5-6 times a week, and that we don't do drugs, and that we enjoy visiting wineries ... all of which are ALSO in our Profile. Knowing that we're retired professionals might give someone a reason to be interested in us, or it might give them a reason to pass us by, or it *might* not matter to them one iota either way ... exactly the same way all of those other facts might help inform their opinion of us. But it doesn't mean that we consider ourselves better -- for some definition of the word -- than anybody else.

[Fitlakecouple 451]

Everyone has their list of what they are looking for in this game. And the lists can be endless. Tall, trim, BBW, big breasts, small breasts, natural vs enhanced, large butt, good teeth, large cock, good grammar, younger than x, older than y, bisexual, straight, race, hwp, fit, smokers, non-smokers, drinkers, full swap, soft swap, watch only, dominant, submissive, hairy, shaved, waxed or lasered, tattoos and piercings.

Why get so worked up about one more item on the list: white-collar vs blue-collar job? Just translate their list to a warning sign. Danger: narrow-minded people ahead - self-important judgment zone ahead. And, pass them by.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

As I've continued to read this interesting thread and people's opinions, I'm becoming more convinced it means such a wide spectrum of different things to such a wide spectrum of different people that it makes one wonder if it really means anything at all? That then goes back to Enhancer's point about it being so overused.

 

Everyone puts their own context on it based on their own lives and perspectives. But, profiles are slap full of stuff like that. For example, a couple writes: "Let me tell you girls, he's awesome in bed. He's like the Energizer bunny, lasts for hours!" Well, Mrs. cplnuswing doesn't think that's awesome at all, she has no interest in getting pounded for hours. The wife there though, she does evidently like that, so from her perspective in the context of their sex lives, that's a good thing.

 

We just don't get hung up too much either way on the details. Whether this word is or isn't present, whether that word is or isn't present, what they think is a plus, what we think is a plus. Any one little piece of the overall picture doesn't make or break anything.

[Sunday 119]

We see it as mildly snobby/classist and do not waste their or our time, so I guess they have accomplished that.

 

I think it more likely means, "seasoned swingers" as in, not newbies. People that have a full understanding of what participation in the LS means and have worked thru all the unknowns.

 

[enhancer 1,585]

Interesting to read all the responses and shows different people interpret things they read on profiles in different ways! The world would be a very boring place to be if everyone was the same.

 

It goes to show that anything you put on your profile is going to effect the people who are going to be interested in you! That is the people that bother reading profiles. Which isn’t a bad thing if it is something that matters to you.

 

We actually find it helpful and it saves wasting time talking to people that are not who we would enjoy spending time with or who would not enjoy spending time with us. Different strokes for different folks.

 

I brought this subject up specially, because there seems to be a lot of local new people on the site we use that throw it on their profile.

[Bluespruce1 706]

We never ask about jobs - we could care less. It’s also why we don’t “meet” online. We go to places that we know have like minded folks and let chemistry work it’s magic.

[Ozzie+Harriet 84]

Interesting to read all the responses and shows different people interpret things they read on profiles in different ways! The world would be a very boring place to be if everyone was the same.

 

That is true, but to get people to read a profile, it needs to be thought out and edited constantly to improve it it and above all, make it interesting and fun to read. People, including us, just get turned off by profiles that go on and on with "we are," or "I am" statements that read like a list of things the writer(s) think about themselves. If there are photos up, one hardly needs to say "we're sexy," since that will be determined by whomever is looking at the photos. I have a PhD, but I wouldn't think of putting that in a profile. (In fact, I think it's pretentious to even use the title.)

It goes to show that anything you put on your profile is going to effect the people who are going to be interested in you! That is the people that bother reading profiles. Which isn’t a bad thing if it is something that matters to you.

That is exactly right. However, if you want to tell people you are a fun, educated couple, the best way to do that is to make a profile that is entertaining and well written. It isn't necessary to say "we are," or whatever, to make those things clear by writing something that actually demostrates that in some way. What people write should convey a sense of their personalities. That may take some effort, but people who read it and identify with it will probably be more compatible personality wise. I think too many profiles are written to just to write something without think about the audience reading it.

I brought this subject up specially, because there seems to be a lot of local new people on the site we use that throw it on their profile.

That is probably true. If we are looking for "professionals" as that was described ein an earlier post, telling us means nothing. What we look for is the level of writing and effort that went into writing the profile. Does this couple seem like they would be fun to meet? Do they take themselves too seriously or seem like a pain in the ass to deal with?

I look at it like this. The more people who are interested in our profile, the more people we get to make choices about, so the time taken to trhink aout what one is writing, checking spelling and grammar, making it flow so that is readable and saying what you are looking for in a non-offensive way works much better than just saying what you are and what you want in a list like fashion. Who we are is really the judgment others have to make regardless of how we perceive ourselves. That's best done by getting our personalities into the profile by how we write what we write.

[Ozzie+Harriet 84]

But, profiles are slap full of stuff like that. For example, a couple writes: "Let me tell you girls, he's awesome in bed.

That seems to be a really common thing to say, but as I see it, that indicates someone who wasn't interested in writing much of anything and was filling up space with trite phrases that have no relevence to anyone but the guy's wife, not to mention the chance that it may be an exaggeration should someone rely on it. One could get that across more effectiely by writing a short paragraph directed to what their intended audience might be looking for without actually stating it outright.

[Guest]

Well..........

 

When some writes “Professional” in my experience it can often mean these people work for the emergency services such as police / fire / ambulance / or have some other highly customer facing job, even people like judges / doctors / lawyers all have to be careful in this lifestyle.

 

The UK is perhaps a prime example of this you see in the UK swinging is legal between consenting adults, however if you have a professional or high ranking job and your bosses at work find out your into swinging, if that news somehow leaks into work you would still be sacked on the spot for gross misconduct, for inappropriate behaviour, for letting your personal life spill into your job.

 

People such as police officers, medical workers, or even people who work with children would all be battling to keep their jobs if this came out at work. People such as lawyers and judges would be battling for their license to even work any more, as would doctors and various other professions.

 

I have spoken with various people who say they are working professionals and as guessed many of them have turned out to be police officers. That alone can have a big impact on some people, for example if as a couple you smoke Cannabis or other recreational drugs, do you really want a policeman sitting opposite you all night.

 

However......

 

I think when people say working professional they are not always speaking about their job but instead and speaking about other things that you would expect a working professional to be, such things as:

 

Clean / healthy / employed / hard drug free / not a criminal / safe person / have things in my life to lose / not looking to cause anyone trouble / have a family home and car to think about as well.

 

That people say professional when really they are just trying to say there are clean hard working people.

 

This is not a big shock but studies have proved that lower class or unemployed people generally have higher levels of hard drug abuse / higher levels of crime / higher levels of violence / higher levels of abuse / and lower education / sometimes lower hygiene levels / ECT.

 

You know obviously there are some truly wonderful and hard working people who end up unemployed which is unfortunate at best, but then there is the other side, the people who will never work in their lives and will spend the vast majority of their lives sat on a trailer park smoking crack.

 

I think sometimes in today's world people are screaming “I'M EMPLOYED” because actually getting a job is much harder now, even for manual jobs such as stacking super market shelves jobs will end up giving you criminal record checks / sometimes drink and drug tests / sometimes disease and infection tests / in fact I once did some work in a factory on their PC system and I had to shit in jar before they would even let me onto the site.

 

In my 20's (going back some years now) I applied for a job as a “Porter” just a very basic manual job where most of my duties would have been cleaning and helping customers. In total and because I'd be working with food and cash this company into total gave me a.....

 

Full criminal record check / full sex offenders check / full money laundering checks / full credit checks / STD and infection blood tests / drug tests / and alcohol tests, all to basically carry some customers bags or mop up split drinks or whatever.

 

In today's world if someone has spent their entire lives in and out of prison / if they have serious or violent crimes on their record / if they have a bad medical record or ties with hard drugs / if they are on any kind of sex offenders register then sure for such people its getting harder and harder to even get a job, you know not many crack heads hold down a 9 to 5 job five days a week.

 

I also find that unemployed people (long term I never want to work unemployed people) often lie big time about their reasons for been unemployed. In fact you will ask them the REASON? They will answer by saying “Oh I am just BETWEEN JOBS at the moment” when really the real reason is.....

 

They have a personality disorder.

They are super aggressive.

They have serious bouts of paranoia.

They are on hard drugs.

They have a critical illness, HIV perhaps.

They are seriously depressed.

They have spent half their life in prison.

 

There is usually more to the story than meets the eye.

 

I also think saying we are “Working” also lets out many other warnings, or at least should do. Things such as.....

 

Hey we are workers, please don't text us at 3am in the morning.

 

Hey we are workers, we want to meet you but can't be out until 2:47am.

 

Hey we are workers, sometimes we can't meet, you know if were at work.

 

I have dated a few unemployed people in my life, and even had an unemployed Unicorn join us before, and honestly its not something I'd wish to repeat again, in fact in all instances they have causes me and the relationship huge problems.

 

One of the women I dated was totally oblivious to the world of working, she had no idea at all what working was like and by her mid 30's had hardly done a days work in her life. Sure she would bombard me with texts or calls at 3am just because for her that was usual, she would sleep all day and not even get out of bed until I got home from work, would constantly get upset that I couldn't stay awake every night until 4am when I was up for work at six.

 

She couldn't understand it AT ALL. I'd wake up at maybe 5:30am and would head out for a full 12 hour shift at work. I'd walk in the house and this girl, and our girlfriend was usually sitting there, and sure I'd dive in the shower and then spend the next 6 or 7 hours basically fucking them both all over several times each, including all the threesome stuff.

 

It would get to like 1am and I'd be yawning and my girlfriend would basically get upset, even call me a pussy. I mean sure I left at 5:30 this morning, she didn't even wake up until 17:30 in the afternoon. Like yeah I have been up since 5:30am and been to work all day, and oh look its 1am and I'm back up for work in about 4.5 hours, but honestly she just couldn't understand it at all.

 

Like yeah I can't work 5 days a week on 3 or 4 hours sleep a night, sorry I'm not 21 years old any more, but sure this unemployed women in her mid 30's couldn't even understand for a second why work was tiring / stressful / difficult at times.

 

In this case I think the word professional is suppose to mean a lot more, almost a CODE for other workers.....

 

Oh you work? We do to, oh so were going to have to plan to meet at very certain times, going to have to work round our jobs, chances are you can't meet in the day? ECT.

 

The other good one I find is people who are ON CALL. People who could simply get called into work at any moment, or people who have sick parents or family members and might get an emergency phone call at 3am saying there grandfather has fallen over again and is in hospital. Saying “We Work” can mean a lot more things.

 

In some respects you could also look at it like the couple is saying....

 

“Hey we want to play, but these are times we can't, that we want to play but keep in mind work swallows up 60% of our week, maybe even 80 and 90% of our week if our shifts clash”

 

I remember with my longer term ex partner that we were sometimes unable to meet anyone for like 2 or 3 weeks in a row all because our shifts at work clashed to badly on those weeks, then the shift patterns would flip and we would be okay again for another 2 or 3 weeks.

 

This can be truly hard for some people to grasp, I mean yeah we want to meet you, we like you, we want to fuck you, but eeerrmmmm then we can't even see you for the best part of a month, can hardly even message you when stuck at work.

 

This we are working professionals could mean anything from.

 

We travel a lot for work / we work really strange hours / we don't get much spare time / we have to plan things around our jobs / we have to be discreet / we may have to cancel at the last moment if we get called into work / I have a professional job and can't be around drugs, weapons, any crime.

 

In my eyes its not a CLASS thing, its more people trying to say they aren't unemployed heroin addicts and crack heads who have spent the last 15 years in and out of prison.

 

At least that has always been my take on things

[Twilighttap 168]

Always thought professional in the context of a sex meeting meant paid escort or prostitute of some kind. 

[enhancer 1,585]

Old thread, but still feel the same way!  Could care less what people do for a living or what material things they own.  Does not make them special to us or more attractive to us at all.  We like good people.  A persons job or status does not make them that. We could be just as interested in someone who works at a Tim Hortons as someone who is a CEO for a big company.  Not everyone has the same opportunity’s or financial support as others on their life journey.
 

Reminds me of a recent message we got from some young guy at 6 in the morning on a weekday wanting to hookup that day!  I said no we both work for a living.  His response was I make more than you two put together.  Not sure how he would think he knows how much we make, but odd response anyways.  Just another goof on the block list now.

[bbarnsworth 2,637]

Enhancer; we played with a couple once where the husband was the provost of a major university (not going to name it of course). Didn't make the evening go any better. In fact, the evening wasn't all that great! lol!

 

It's true though; it matters what's inside. What you do, how much you make, etc. that's pretty meaningless.

[discreetplay 235]

Dang, super old thread...

 

When we meet people for drinks, light meal, etc we try to get to know people. As others have said, we couldn't care less what they do for a living. We tend to speak in generalities rather than specifics when disclosing what we do. We don't care about education level as long as they can hold a conversation. If they seem fun, we look to explore some fun times. Our approach isn't to find lifelong friends (no opposed to that but that's not the goal here). We're looking to have a fun evening with a fun couple. A few hours of pleasure, that's all. I'm not looking to pick up clients, talk politics, etc. 

 

Ad for the comment about smoking marijuana and with a "professional" (e.g. a police officer), I know many police officers in the lifestyle. None are looking to cite people for possession here. They may not want to be around smokers for various reasons (disclosed early in the chatting that it isn't their thing) but no enforcement action would happen.