Treatment of Unicorns

[Curlycali 16]

Hi, unicorn here..

So I went to a club nearby for one of the nights that allow single guys after having a super great experience at a couples only/ single ladies night. So anyway, there’s one couple there that I’m chatting up and we go to a room. I wanted to watch first, a pleasure of mine, and the guy was basically trying to direct his own porno. He just kept saying “I want you to do this” “do this” “get over there”. I had to consistently tell him what I wanted. Then at one point suggesting things that his partner didn’t evn like. I got dressed and left while they finished.

 

After I left them, I started talking to another guy who was curious as to how to introduce his wife to the scene. He began to describe her and I’m like oh she sounds beautiful. So then he’s like yeah “if I go get her can u lick her and let her taste you?” I say I’m into having at least a conversation first so let’s start with that. He responds with “yes we’re talking right now”. I felt really used and not considered. Turn off!

 

Point being, I understand that I am adding to the dynamic of a couple and it’s not always about what I want but DAMN we unis have our own wants and kinks!

[Anon321 523]

That's weird because they should be so lucky just to have you involved. Those are the kind of conversations I would have with other guys looking to fuck my GF but never a woman.

[Curlycali 16]

"Im really sorry. I misunderstood your sexual goals. This isn't for me. I wish you a fun night."

 

In the future I will definitely use that one! Thanksss so much! Even though I was upset, I didn’t want to make it a bad experience for them either, so that statement helps so much.

 

I’m still learning a lot about cues, so hopefully in the future I get better at avoiding situations where I can more obviously see it won’t be a match.

[Guest]

This is a funny one because.....

 

The first guy, the one who was directing his own porno. Well its fairly funny you mentioned it that way because basically if studies are correct then the biggest female fantasy in the world is to be with a dominant man.

 

Now obviously been dominant doesn't mean been aggressive or violent, it doesn't mean fucking your wife like a hardcore porn film ever time, it doesn't mean pain or humiliation, generally it means speaking in “I WANT” type of terms.

 

We can look at two examples here:

 

Adam) Is a none dominant guy and when he asks his girlfriend for sex he says things like:

 

“I was thinking, maybe if your okay with it, then later if your not to busy, then maybe we could have sex, I mean excuse me for asking, hopefully that is okay with you?”

 

“I was wondering, maybe if its okay with you, then maybe you might suck my dick for a while, but I'll understand if you don't want to, hope I haven't offended you”

 

You know this shit sends women running, in fact not many women seem happy spending their lives with a guy who constantly asking permission / constantly saying things like “Sorry / excuse me / hope I haven't offended you / are you okay / are you okay / are you okay.

 

Ben) Ben is a more dominant man, he says things like:

 

“I want sex”

“I'd like sex”

“Suck my dick”

 

He is not asking for permission for every move he makes, he is not muttering on with a mouth full of maybes and saying excuse me / forgive me for asking / hope this doesn't offend you / and isn't saying sorry for asking his girlfriend for sex.

 

I think a lot of men also hype themselves up with Alpha Male videos that are all over YouTube, honestly as a man you are targetted by such videos, things like Face Book or YouTube will just pop them up based on your gender.

 

You want to fuck more women? You want to be respected by women? You want to fuck any women you want? Then sign up here to my Alpha Male class.

 

Even that is a 50/50 situation because sure been more confident, been more alpha might help you meet women, might help you impress them with friendly confidence, however a lot of these guys are there learning the pick up tactics, or the bedroom tactics, but in all other areas are basically a wet fart. Not sure if that makes sense but if a man is going to research anything it will either be how to meet women, or how to be more dominant in bed.

 

It might not be the perfect approach but I am guessing that first guy has watched himself some videos on been more dominant in bed and has learned that simply saying “Want to fuck, or suck my dick, or move over here” is better than spending 15 minutes saying.

 

Well... If.... Maybe... If you don't mind.... I was thinking.... You see..... Well.... Hope this won't offend you.... Not sure how to say this....

 

I mean fuck is there an intermission, are we allowed a break here, shall I put the kettle on and prepare for the long haul, is a sexy girl going to walk in any second with a tray of snacks?

 

I mean have you ever been in one of those really weird situations where you meet someone and it's basically 100% obvious that you both want to fuck each other but your both to scared to ask, been a little more alpha is simply the ability to ask.

[Curlycali 16]

I can see your points for sure. I like being dominated but for me there’s a thin line between the dom/sub dynamic and directing the situation for mostly self satisfaction. I’m working on my inner alpha!

[adamgunn 1,460]

If you stay in the LifeStyle scene, I suspect you'll see a lot more of this. The good news is as you gain experience, you'll be able to identify the behavior earlier, and you'll develop your own way to opt out quickly.

 

Unfortunately, finding a great person(s) to swing with is not the easiest thing to do. Just like dating, you 'waste' a lot of time getting to what you really want. Not that you won't have fun in the interim, there will be times when it's a ball. Take it slow, be easy, never do anything you don't want to do.