Your Progression in Swinging?

[Guest]

Your Progression in Swinging?

 

Hey folks, bit of strange question but basically since you started swinging, be that one year ago or even fifty years ago, what would you say has changed most about your views or beliefs, in what way(s) have you changed the most since your journey began?

 

I will list a few examples to give you an idea of what I'm asking:

 

1: Racial: Maybe when you first started you were closed minded about people of other races, but now as times passes and experience grows you are now opened minded to such options.

 

2: Couple Only: Maybe you began this journey only wanting to meet couples, but now you have found it easier and better for you to meet singles.

 

3: Women Only: Maybe your a guy who had a dream of MFF threesomes, but in the long run have found yourself liking MMF even better.

 

4: Same Room: Maybe you started out with a rule of same room only, but now years later you and your partner sometimes enjoy playing in different rooms.

 

5: Security: Maybe you started out really insecure about this subject and that has changed, or alternatively maybe doing it has raised more insecurities.

 

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If we are talking about values / feelings / rules / barriers / fears / mistakes / your beliefs about this subject then what has changed the most? What barriers have you overcome in time?

 

 

WHY ASK THIS QUESTION:

 

Well I think new couples and singles come into this lifestyle and at first they have a million fears, rules, questions, and worries. They tend to have rigid rules / lots of boundaries, and in my experience these boundaries often change dramatically over time.

 

I mean looking back now to when you started did you have stupid fears and loads of rules, if so what has changed / how have you adapted.

 

I think perhaps the first thing that adapts is what your looking for in this lifestyle? That a lot of people set out wanting that 25 year old Unicorn (Single Women) to play with, that they want a young fit sex play mate, and then suddenly find it isn't always that easy, and suddenly they are not looking for a 25 year old any more, suddenly they are looking at age 20 to 40, suddenly they have extended their search range by 50 miles, or even began searching for couples instead.

 

Maybe you started out and would only consider people of a very specific type, has that changed?

 

Might be interesting for new people to hear a little about how longer standing members have changed over the years, might help prepare some of those younger people and couples for changes that may be ahead in their own lives.

 

God I sound old! x

[Numex 2,459]

Even before we married, we were both very open to the other about our past lovers, although neither of us had done anything beyond regular sex. We both enjoyed telling and hearing, especially who was good and what they did.

 

Eventually I just asked my wife if she would like to fuck one of her favorites again. She said, "Sure," dated and fucked two of them alone (separately), then we did MFMs with them. We started to play with new people, her with new guys and women, and us with couples. It was good but not totally comfortable.

 

We now only play with a closed group of couples. Although much of it is alone one-on-one and threesome play, we feel very safe, secure and comfortable.

[GoldCoCouple 4,068]

We started looking for other couples and, while we now limit our interactions, we still play with other couples. Actually, when we started, we wanted to find a unicorn, but since they were so elusive, we started looking for couples that we could be friends (with benefits) with. Now all these years later, we are still friends (with benefits) with the second couple we started dating. We kind of have a closed group of couples that we spend time with...although we are always looking for that unicorn.

[Numex 2,459]

.. we are still friends (with benefits) with the second couple we started dating. .

That's how we view it as well - both before we had sex and still now - it is "dating." The thrill of the hunt, the question of whether they're interested, the excitement of a quick tryst alone. And the most taboo for swingers: going out alone with another's spouse for something other than sex.

[Guest]

We started swing while we were still dating, but it was 2nd marriage for both of us, both having been married for 20+ years, me a widow, him divorced. We started with MFM, first one just kind of happened, I really like it so I got another one going two weeks later simply by being flirtatioius at a resort tiki bar. That became my MO as they say. After 3 or 4, we went to a couples club and did a swap, a few same room, then separate room. Basically, I was the one that said I wouldn’t do this or that early on. What I found is that if I do this, this week, then probably next month, I’ll try that. Thus a progression MFM, to swaps, foursomes and moresomes,gb then MMFM. I think the most amazing transition is how, that first one, you talk for two or three hours before you’re ready to venture to a playroom or bed room. Then, 10 months later you think about it, and now it’s after a 20 minute conversation at times.