Homophobic Man?

[Guest]

Homophobic Man?

 

I'd consider myself to be an orally bisexual man and have 0% issues with bisexual play, however over the years I have found it terribly strange and confusing that:

 

A) Homophobic men have agreed to threesomes with us.

 

B) Homophobic men have invited me into threesomes with their partner.

 

I mean there is a BIG difference between someone saying.....

 

“Sorry I'm not really bisexual and aren't looking for that kind of play”

 

To someone agreeing to a sexual situation then acting like a total dickhead / thug / homophobic turd / and and wondering if anyone else has encountered this?

 

If so how would you handle such a situation?

 

When I say “Homophobic Man” this can account for various behaviours, not only been rude or openly nasty towards other men, but basically doing loads of weird shit, making up loads of strange rules, somehow trying to have a threesome whilst keeping the other guy as far away as possible.

 

Some of these rules or stupid actions might include things like.

 

The homophobic man saying we can have a threesome but he doesn't even want the other man to touch him even for 1 second, that he doesn't even want your feet to accidentally touch, doesn't want any part of your body touching his at all, ever and will get upset if it does.

 

The homophobic man agrees to the situation then just becomes physically upset, stressed, nervous when another man even gets undressed in the same building as him.

 

Says you can have a threesome but basically gives you a side of the bed that your not allowed to move from in case you get to close to him.

 

Refuses to kiss your partner if you (another man) has kissed her first. Refuses to give your partner oral sex if another man has first. Refuses to have sex with her if another man has first.

 

Perhaps even gets rude towards the women and almost treats her like a slag because she has dared to sleep with another man and not just him.

 

Honestly I f**king hate these guys which I know is a strong word but honestly I have met 2 or 3 of them over the years and every time they have caused my life and relationship problems.

 

I guess you could say these super homophobic men really have dreams and feelings for other men and don't know how to handle them, but my more common theory now is these guys are the men who think the classic line......

 

“YEAH, if I get my girlfriend to fuck some other guy (angry growls and snarls!) then she won't be able to refuse me when I want to fuck 20 women in the next few years, yeah that will work!”

 

You just end up hijacked by the epic turd who is using you just to try and get a golden ticket to fuck other women after, and then invites you into some God awful homophobic threesome.

 

Why even want threesomes if you can not stand seeing members of the same sex naked?

 

How would you handle this situation? Do you do anything to assess this situation first?

 

The other one that REALLY PISSES ME OFF is when totally straight / homophobic guys advertise themselves as bisexual just to trick bisexual couples into meeting them so they can fuck the women and treat the man like some weird gay bloke to be feared and blocked out.

 

Any thoughts?

 

Thanks folks

[Ozzie+Harriet 84]

I am not homophobic, nor am I bi, so if we were playing with a bi guy and he did try something that went beyond the usual bumping into each other that's hard to avoid, I'd just tell him I wasn't into that and carry on. If he tried to talk me into something, I'd say the same thing. I'd only get pisssed if he didn't respect what I had told him and persisted. In that case, I'd do the same thing I'd do if a guy did something to Harriet that he had been told she wasn't interested in doing. Throw his ass out very painfully. What matters to me is that people respect our boundaries. I'm not going to freak out if some guy grabs my dick or whatever. I'll just say something and expect him to not keep trying to do it. On the other hand, whether you are bi, straight or whatever, I think it's incumbent on everyone to be aware of when they might be exceeding someone's comfort zone and the problem really shouldn't come up.

[Sunday 119]

Homophobic Man?

 

I'd consider myself to be an orally bisexual man and have 0% issues with bisexual play, however over the years I have found it terribly strange and confusing that:

 

A) Homophobic men have agreed to threesomes with us.

 

B) Homophobic men have invited me into threesomes with their partner.

 

I mean there is a BIG difference between someone saying.....

 

“Sorry I'm not really bisexual and aren't looking for that kind of play”

 

To someone agreeing to a sexual situation then acting like a total dickhead / thug / homophobic turd / and and wondering if anyone else has encountered this?

 

If so how would you handle such a situation?

 

When I say “Homophobic Man” this can account for various behaviours, not only been rude or openly nasty towards other men, but basically doing loads of weird shit, making up loads of strange rules, somehow trying to have a threesome whilst keeping the other guy as far away as possible.

 

Some of these rules or stupid actions might include things like.

 

The homophobic man saying we can have a threesome but he doesn't even want the other man to touch him even for 1 second, that he doesn't even want your feet to accidentally touch, doesn't want any part of your body touching his at all, ever and will get upset if it does.

 

The homophobic man agrees to the situation then just becomes physically upset, stressed, nervous when another man even gets undressed in the same building as him.

 

Says you can have a threesome but basically gives you a side of the bed that your not allowed to move from in case you get to close to him.

 

Refuses to kiss your partner if you (another man) has kissed her first. Refuses to give your partner oral sex if another man has first. Refuses to have sex with her if another man has first.

 

Perhaps even gets rude towards the women and almost treats her like a slag because she has dared to sleep with another man and not just him.

 

Honestly I f**king hate these guys which I know is a strong word but honestly I have met 2 or 3 of them over the years and every time they have caused my life and relationship problems.

 

I guess you could say these super homophobic men really have dreams and feelings for other men and don't know how to handle them, but my more common theory now is these guys are the men who think the classic line......

 

“YEAH, if I get my girlfriend to fuck some other guy (angry growls and snarls!) then she won't be able to refuse me when I want to fuck 20 women in the next few years, yeah that will work!”

 

You just end up hijacked by the epic turd who is using you just to try and get a golden ticket to fuck other women after, and then invites you into some God awful homophobic threesome.

 

Why even want threesomes if you can not stand seeing members of the same sex naked?

 

How would you handle this situation? Do you do anything to assess this situation first?

 

The other one that REALLY PISSES ME OFF is when totally straight / homophobic guys advertise themselves as bisexual just to trick bisexual couples into meeting them so they can fuck the women and treat the man like some weird gay bloke to be feared and blocked out.

 

Any thoughts?

 

Thanks folks

 

There is no mystery here -- swinging is a female-centric activity. Being a straight male, I think men are disgusting creatures and I thank god each and everyday that he made beautiful women who are sexually attracted to us animal-like monsters. So yeah, it's unappealing to see men have sex with each other.

 

I have plenty of gay-male friends and family members and I have said to them what I said above and it was perfectly understood and accepted as my choice and opinion. I am supportive and pro-gay in every way possible except for personally/sexually.

 

So no, IMO, gay sex between men has no place in a standard swingers environment. But I have seen advertised gatherings that cater to that type of activity, it's out there if you want it, however, you won't see me there.

 

This ain't brain surgery]

 

[Guest]

There is no mystery here -- swinging is a female-centric activity. Being a straight male, I think men are disgusting creatures and I thank god each and everyday that he made beautiful women who are sexually attracted to us animal-like monsters. So yeah, it's unappealing to see men have sex with each other.

 

I have plenty of gay-male friends and family members and I have said to them what I said above and it was perfectly understood and accepted as my choice and opinion. I am supportive and pro-gay in every way possible except for personally/sexually.

 

So no, IMO, gay sex between men has no place in a standard swingers environment. But I have seen advertised gatherings that cater to that type of activity, it's out there if you want it, however, you won't see me there.

 

This ain't brain surgery]

 

 

 

 

 

Think maybe you missed the point of the question.

 

I am not speaking about two men having sex, personally I'd not find that appealing and don't think my partner would either.

 

The question is more....

 

If a man is so homophobic that he gets stressed / angry / upset / visibly concerned / jealous / paranoid simply by seeing another man naked, or simply by accidentally banging legs with another man they why on earth would this guy even want another man in a threesome?

 

Why would they agree to that situation if they can not even be naked in the same room as another man? It boggles my mind. You know its not rocket science if you don't want to be around a naked man then don't agree to MFM threesomes.

[enhancer 1,585]

Probably, because most of the kind of men you are talking about are only looking to stick their dick in your wife! They will say what they need to to meet that goal. Their fantasy is not being the extra guy for a couple. It is being “THE” guy.

 

We just avoid these kind of men! Doesn’t take long talking to them to figure them out.

 

As for the bi dilemma we just make it a rule to not play with bi men! I am not a homophobe by any measure, but I am 100 percent straight so there is only the need to have other straight men join us when it will be all about her. On her terms of coarse.

 

You can be straight and not have any issues being naked around the same sex! It is called being secure.

[Guest]

I think you are using “homophobic” to describe a guy who just isn’t bi; that’s a major and damaging use of the term. My husband is not bi, yet he has very good friends who are gay. You would call him homophobic?

 

We began our swing adventure with MFM and have done more of them than I want to count over the past 5 years and added on various other forms of swinging along the way. In none of MFM or MMFM or any other activities have guy(s) attempted to introduce any activity that would be consider bi. We expected that at some point, such would occur and we would have to state the boundary but it simply hasn’t.

[Guest]

I think you are using “homophobic” to describe a guy who just isn’t bi; that’s a major and damaging use of the term. My husband is not bi, yet he has very good friends who are gay. You would call him homophobic?

 

We began our swing adventure with MFM and have done more of them than I want to count over the past 5 years and added on various other forms of swinging along the way. In none of MFM or MMFM or any other activities have guy(s) attempted to introduce any activity that would be consider bi. We expected that at some point, such would occur and we would have to state the boundary but it simply hasn’t.

 

 

I mean for the record I never said anywhere that been straight means your homophobic.

 

Like stated several times if a man is aggressive towards you / not nice to you / if a man becomes paranoid / freaked out simply by been naked in a room with another man, when they have infant agreed to the situation, then sure I find that homophobic.

 

The “Straight Men” you speak about might not want bisexual play, might not be gay or bisexual, but that doesn't mean they have to be nasty to those who are, or get freaked out if they see another naked man in the same building.

 

In some cases I have seen men become physically unstable, visibly stressed all by seeing another man naked, yet after all this been the guy who asked for that situation.

 

I find it odd why would you knowingly put yourself in a position you hate then treat the other people bad for that.

[padoc 1,703]

Cliffy, it seems like you've hung out with some REALLY strange people. You might want to refine your selection process a bit.

[Sunday 119]

Think maybe you missed the point of the question.

 

I am not speaking about two men having sex, personally I'd not find that appealing and don't think my partner would either.

 

The question is more....

 

If a man is so homophobic that he gets stressed / angry / upset / visibly concerned / jealous / paranoid simply by seeing another man naked, or simply by accidentally banging legs with another man they why on earth would this guy even want another man in a threesome?

 

Why would they agree to that situation if they can not even be naked in the same room as another man? It boggles my mind. You know its not rocket science if you don't want to be around a naked man then don't agree to MFM threesomes.

 

I've never encountered anyone like you describe. Been in plenty of MFM threesomes and if incidental bumping/touching happens, it's instantly ignored because what's happening is so friggin' hot. Maybe once or twice, a creepy touch occurs and the other guy and me will just look at each other like, "ew" and try to avoid a repeat. But it's never hostile.

 

One chick, while performing a 2-cock BJ, even put mine and the other dick in her mouth at the same time - there had to be some incidental sword touching. I think I thought for a thousandth-of-second that I would pull away, but I didn't because she was very skilled, she was SO hot and she was getting into it SO much. And anyway, lots of people were watching and I would have ruined the show.

 

So, I agree with your premise: If a man is so homophobic that he gets stressed / angry / upset / visibly concerned / jealous / paranoid simply by seeing another man naked, or simply by accidentally banging legs with another man they why on earth would this guy even want another man in a threesome? I've just never had that experience.

 

[Bluespruce1 706]

My god we just had one of these experiences and it’s actually sad. We brought home a great guy that we casually met and simply clicked. I was in flirty mode and hubby was in chill mode. The guy and I hit it off and we revealed that we swing. He said he always wanted to join a couple but never acted on it so we invited him back with us after a couple of drinks. We got home and things went great. My husband started undressing me and then invited the guy to finish. I like to be the centerpiece, I know he’s dying to see me so I like being in that role. My next move is to get up against him, kiss him and let him touch me while my husband is on the other side. When i ready i get on my knees and do what naughty girls do while my husband gets undressed. Watching a new guy get hard never gets old for me. Once I have his attention, I help him out of his clothes and we stand together. I like being in the middle and feeling them in me. I like feeling their cocks getting hard for me in my hands. While I was rubbing their cocks, I fucked up and pushed them together so the heads touched. My husband never flinched and loves this but this dude jumped out of his skin and went off. We ended up kicking him out - suck a fucking unnecessary buzzkill. I just don’t get it...

[Guest]

My god we just had one of these experiences and it’s actually sad. We brought home a great guy that we casually met and simply clicked. I was in flirty mode and hubby was in chill mode. The guy and I hit it off and we revealed that we swing. He said he always wanted to join a couple but never acted on it so we invited him back with us after a couple of drinks. We got home and things went great. My husband started undressing me and then invited the guy to finish. I like to be the centerpiece, I know he’s dying to see me so I like being in that role. My next move is to get up against him, kiss him and let him touch me while my husband is on the other side. When i ready i get on my knees and do what naughty girls do while my husband gets undressed. Watching a new guy get hard never gets old for me. Once I have his attention, I help him out of his clothes and we stand together. I like being in the middle and feeling them in me. I like feeling their cocks getting hard for me in my hands. While I was rubbing their cocks, I fucked up and pushed them together so the heads touched. My husband never flinched and loves this but this dude jumped out of his skin and went off. We ended up kicking him out - suck a fucking unnecessary buzzkill. I just don’t get it...

 

 

 

Yep totally unnecessary is really good way of putting it.

 

Some of the strange things I have found about having threesomes with such men is they will say things like.....

 

My dick can't touch his.

 

My dick can't go anywhere near his.

 

I won't kiss the women if his dicks been in her mouth.

 

I won't fuck the women if his dicks been in her first.

 

I won't give the women oral sex if he has already given her oral sex.

 

I won't kiss the women if he has kissed her first.

 

Yeah over the many years I have had maybe 2 or 3 encounters like this, and feel I have avoided another 50 or more online before even meeting them. I find all of this so strange because they always wait until the LAST SECOND before kicking off or turning funny.

 

Sure this guy has just spent two weeks messaging you. He has said YES he is perfectly okay with a MFM threesome and has described himself as bisexual / bi curious. For several weeks he has been telling you that he is 100% fine been near / around / in the same room / in the same building as another naked man, all of which he confirmed during the social meeting.

 

Then we meet this guy for sex, and sure we don't rush straight in but on that first few times probably spend about 1 hour chatting first, going over any last minute boundaries, making sure everyone is on the same page, and again this guy says he is perfectly fine. Then 20 minutes later your all laid on the bed with the women been the 100% centre of attention and all of a sudden the guy just freaks out, either the second that he sees another naked man, or if he even touches a man for one second, even accidentally.

 

What about DP? What about DVP? What about double blow jobs? What about fuck licking? What about eating a cream pie? There are LOTS of things in this lifestyle where some form of contact with another man is basically going to happen.

 

In fact I once spent about 20 minutes with my friends balls basically slapping me in the face because my girlfriend wanted taking from behind whilst one us licked her pussy. During the times we have done DP / or even DVP (Double Vaginal Penetration) then sure both our dicks have been in the same pussy, both touching, both rubbing up against each other, on a few rare occasions we have both virtually cum at the same time as well.

 

In the past my my girlfriends have basically laid there sucking some guys dick, and at times getting a huge happy load in their mouths, and 30 seconds later she has slid back up the bed and is laid kissing me, or vice versa. You know in a threesome she might end up sucking his cock and then kissing you two minutes later, she might end up licking his balls then wants to suck your dick after, some contact / close proximity / transfer from man to man is going to happen.

 

This is like a guy saying I want to swim. But I'm not get in any water.

 

I find even sex with such people is a struggle, how can you do things like DP / certain positions / double blow jobs if basically you can't even touch this other person for a second, not even by accident without them freaking out. I mean WE GET IT your straight, no one is trying to stick a dick up your bum, no one is trying to force a dick in your mouth, you know like SORRY DUDE but our balls rubbed together there for a while, sorry but yeah my dick touched your because my wife had us both in her mouth at once, like isn't that why we are here?

 

I think any STRAIGHT man, you know secure, confident guy would not even be phased by a small amount of male contact whilst both pleasing one women. Where as the truly homophobic types do freak out / do cause scenes / do become aggressive / weird / upset and really all that has happened is that your balls rubbed together for 5 seconds during some sexual movement or whatever.

 

Not sure I think the real question is WHAT IS GAY? WHAT IS BISEXUAL?

 

In my eyes that would be loving someone of the same sex. Having penetration intercourse with someone of the same sex. Giving oral sex to another man and things like that.

 

I do NOT SEE two dicks touching during a threesome as been gay. Do not see my balls rubbing against another man's balls during DP as been gay. I do not see a women sucking my dick, and then sucking another guys dick as been gay. Burt sure some of these straight (none homophobic) guys do have a real problem with this stuff, but are here asking to please one women together.

 

Not sure if I'm making sense but in some cases a STRAIGHT MAN will not even view another guy sucking his cock as been gay. Some straight men in pro sports teams get out of the shower and slap each other on the backside and that isn't viewed as gay. Kind of like saying there is different levels of been straight.

 

Some straight men are more accepting or secure and simply understand some male/male contact is going to happen during group sex with the same women, where other levels of straight tip directly off the homophobic scale. I have to admit can be fairly scary watching one of these guys flip, you know its a sudden change, for 2 or 3 weeks they having been telling you they are okay with it all, then suddenly BOOM they are like a dear hit by headlights the second another naked man is in the same room, you know I'd understand if my dick was like 14 inch or something, its really not!

 

I also find that fairly funny, that in some cases a man can have a much bigger dick than me, and a much better / healthier / younger body but they still feel strange or none confident around other men. I mean sure your taller, fitter, younger, your dick is frecking huge, but you feel under confident around men, 80% of which have worse bodies than yours, well crack on.

 

There is the question......

 

How straight are you? Lol

[Travelcpl 20]

We were emailing a guy in Vegas once. Set up the threesome. Everything seemed fine. No one suggested or hinted at anything bi. It's assumed there might be some incidental contact we assumed from previous experience.  About four hours before we were due to meet up he emailed this tirade about no male to male touching like if I even looked at his dick I'd get punched out. We passed on him. Needless to say. 

[lcmim 1,082]

Two of these might not have anything to do with bisexuality:

 

"Refuses to kiss your partner if you (another man) has kissed her first. Refuses to give your partner oral sex if another man has first. Refuses to have sex with her if another man has first.

 

Perhaps even gets rude towards the women and almost treats her like a slag because she has dared to sleep with another man and not just him."

 

These guys should go and make sure that their heads are on straight.

 

The rest , well , I'd suggest the same head check.

We are straight. One couple  said up front ,we are both bi . We said we aren't. They said OK. Since then they have become our closest  lifestyle friends and playmates. We always play straight.

 

If I were in your situation and saw any of these signs I would take a pass on the couple.

There are plenty of guys who would not care as long as you respected them and made no flagrant trespass.

 

They would not care what you do with other people.

 

[NWAtlSwing 522]

On 1/27/2020 at 8:36 PM, enhancer said:

Probably, because most of the kind of men you are talking about are only looking to stick their dick in your wife! They will say what they need to to meet that goal. Their fantasy is not being the extra guy for a couple. It is being “THE” guy.

 

We just avoid these kind of men! Doesn’t take long talking to them to figure them out.

 

As for the bi dilemma we just make it a rule to not play with bi men! I am not a homophobe by any measure, but I am 100 percent straight so there is only the need to have other straight men join us when it will be all about her. On her terms of coarse.

 

You can be straight and not have any issues being naked around the same sex! It is called being secure.

We have run into the "I'm not bi, but you can suck me when we play", which boils down too really saying "I want to fuck your wife, and if you blowing me is the price, I will pay it". Yuck. I feel sorry for a lot of the single guys out there, but I have to think a lot of them are single for a reason.

[gsu22 187]

I respect people’s choices and I make sure a couple knows up front how bisexual I am. I haven’t had any negative experiences with homophobic people(knock on wood) but I don’t get how quickly people can turn weird if bi play is mentioned.

 

I will say one guy in a couple told me “I’m not bi or gay..hope you’re not disappointed”. I told him I was totally fine with it. After about an hour of play with his wife, he told me he wanted me to suck his cock ?I didn’t hesitate.