Libido and age

[SteelRidge 19]

So how do older swingers maintain their libido? Does the fooling around aspect help?

[lcmim 1,086]

So how do older swingers maintain their libido? Does the fooling around aspect help?

 

It helps.

 

It also is not a bad idea to have your testosterone level checked. I do annually and have reached accomodation with the consistent downward slope on the graph.

BUT

I have been told that I am or will soon be a candidate for hormone therapy.

I did and you should also have the tests and get the advice from a regular Doctor or a urologist if there are other issues.

I would avoid clinics that predominantly sell the therapy.

That their product and of course you will need it.

Be informed as to the side effects.

Second opinions are also useful.

[njbm 2,901]

Be careful with testosterone therapy. It can increase the chance of prostate cancer. Research independently.

Cialis, Viagra, etc. are probably a safer but more temporary solution.

[lcmim 1,086]

Be careful with testosterone therapy. It can increase the chance of prostate cancer. Research independently.

 

Like I said be aware of the possible side effects. That is one of the tests that a doctor not associated with a "male health" clinic will do.

At 70 with extremely low PSA and no family history of prostate problems, my doctor mentioned that as a possible but not at all probable issue.

[GoldCoCouple 4,068]

Libido isn't really the problem, it's making the time and making sure that all the equipment is still working that is the problem.

[venusshaw 123]

I am his Viagra and he is my Cialis. My libido is on the increase year after year, and he has kept pace with it. Sleep naked, enjoy every aspect of your body, and the secret is - I allow him to molest me for an hour every morning, includes everything except penetration. All day he is erect and ready. The right food is also important - lot of herbs helps.

[Fundamental Law 2,903]

An interesting question. While no two couples share identical perspectives and experiences, we assert it's not just libido--it's making affirmative choices in how to continue life's journey into older age and even elderhood.

 

1. Gratitude matters. Being grateful for seeing each sunrise, sharing a meal, having less aches than the prior day. Older age, empty nest and so on, gives couples the time to be grateful.

2. Staying healthy together matters. Eating well, alcohol in moderation, health care, and above all doing it for each other matters. Speaking frankly about sexual issues with healthcare providers is important.

3. Accepting changing bodies and accommodating to fatigue, aches, and so on matters. Sex at 2 am is vastly overrated--8 am when rested is frankly a lot more fun.

4. Staying in touch with playmates and going on adventures--resorts, cruises, whatever--to create new connections, that also matters.

5. Making choices to stay exciting to each other--naked cocktail hour, erotic outfits, new toys, etc.--for and about each other matters.

 

If you sense that there is a focus here on the immediate spouse/partner, you are correct. Other couples sense that enthusiasm and confidence and say 'we want that for us'.

[enhancer 1,586]

By always eating healthy, exercising daily and keeping the extra pounds off! It takes discipline to do these things, but it should be a priority for anyone who actually cares about their health. A healthy body leads to a healthy mind and a healthy libido.

[1st3way4fun 42]

I'm only 48, so I haven't had any issues with libido or stamina yet. My wife is 47 and premenopausal, so her raging hormones are quite a joy to deal with.

[adamgunn 1,461]

I'm in my sixties, my libido is fine.

 

Note: From Dictionary.com: libido[ li-bee-doh

noun, plural li·bi·dos.

1) Psychoanalysis. all of the instinctual energies and desires that are derived from the id.

2) sexual instinct or sexual drive.

 

** Libido is *not* just getting it up. It's getting your mind up

[couplers 4,717]

. .- I allow him to molest me for an hour every morning,..

Usually there is morning sex, but an hour!? Do you not work?

 

., includes everything except penetration..

What? There's always penetration. And orgasms. Many times one of the guys has to hold back while the first of us cums or go twice to get the woman who was left behind in the morning.

 

... My libido is on the increase year after year, and he has kept pace with it. .

The three of us women have gotten hornier each year into out thirties. The problem is that the two guys in our family have not kept pace, that's why we girls 1) share a (married) guy on the side, whose wife (who knows and appreciates us) has no sex drive whatsoever, and 2) being Lesbians as well helps. A lot.

[venusshaw 123]

Yeah! each one to themselves. My man's favorite libido raising moment is watching me get licked and fucked and having orgasms by and with another. He always follows up even before the other has left. And then we talk about it and the next and he goes again.

[let's do it again 416]

I am 62 and have no problem with libido. As long as you keep having regular sex , and stay active your libido will stay strong. I love women and enjoy having sex with them,  being single in your 60's is great for a man because the male herd is thinning and many men quit sex because of ED problems and don't seek help. More women are looking for men willing and capable of having sex when older. I also have sex with younger women because their SO would rather play video games.

[njbm 2,901]

Is it my perception or do people under 40 seem less interested in sex?

[let's do it again 416]

12 hours ago, njbm said:

Is it my perception or do people under 40 seem less interested in sex?

Men under 40 seem less interested in sex and more interested in work and boy's toys. Women I think are interested but just don't go out socially and rely more on social media and dating apps. 

[Fundamental Law 2,903]

Men look after themselves differently than women. While that may be cultural, at least in the US women make--and guide--a lot of the healthy behaviors. What this means is that while some men are good at self-care and healthy behaviors, others wander off and end up immersed in work, immersed in a hobby, or otherwise distracted. Sleep, exercise, moderation in eating and in intoxicants, relationships, and...yes...sex are all part of a healthy life and all need to be managed. Women do better at this than men, and no matter how hard their partner tries, some men simply do not get it.  Same goes for some women, of course, but the imbalance is real. 

 

Our observation--LS couples tend to feature strong women as equal partners. The men listen and respond to their guidance on health matters. There is a "which came first" aspect, of course, but at least among the long-marrieds, long in the LS couples we are close to, a lot of effort goes into that list of healthy life behaviors in the prior paragraph. They look after each other, and enjoy doing so. 

 

 

[couplers 4,717]

On 12/6/2022 at 10:12 AM, Fundamental Law said:

Sleep, exercise, moderation in eating and in intoxicants, relationships, and...yes...sex are all part of a healthy life and all need to be managed. Women do better at this than men,

 

On 12/6/2022 at 10:12 AM, Fundamental Law said:

LS couples tend to feature strong women as equal partners. The men listen and respond to their guidance on health matters.

Yes to all of the above, but not just health matters - life in general.  We women are fortunate that the two men in our poly family are generally health conscious and avoid intoxicants, but still sometimes need "the voice of reason" to do what's best.  The three of us women almost always agree, so it's not difficult.

 

The guys are think that they have three women, but we're in control. 

[Fundamental Law 2,903]

4 hours ago, couplers said:

 

The guys are think that they have three women, but we're in control. 

An arrangement that clearly suits all of you....

 

[ChristianSwinging 59]

I have noticed a significant loss of my libido over the last few years, which unfortunately also includes a loss of potency.

When aroused there is often no reaction and if there is, the erection is only short-lived.

[hunterdonNJcpl 1,421]

3 hours ago, ChristianSwinging said:

I have noticed a significant loss of my libido over the last few years, which unfortunately also includes a loss of potency.

When aroused there is often no reaction and if there is, the erection is only short-lived.

Have you tried Viagra or Cialis (or their generic equivalents)?

[couplers 4,717]

On 2/18/2020 at 6:33 AM, venusshaw said:

My man's favorite libido raising moment is watching me get licked and fucked and having orgasms by and with another.

That certainly charges this up in our household.  Call it jealousy, reclaiming or whatever, but seeing people who you love going into the bedroom to have sex is a turn-on.

[let's do it again 416]

On 1/30/2020 at 10:33 AM, venusshaw said:

I am his Viagra and he is my Cialis. My libido is on the increase year after year, and he has kept pace with it. Sleep naked, enjoy every aspect of your body, and the secret is - I allow him to molest me for an hour every morning, includes everything except penetration. All day he is erect and ready. The right food is also important - lot of herbs helps.

I get what you are saying, my favorite lover and I both sleep nude together and since we both retired at 62, we love to wake up and play. She is up for anything and I love her natural smell which turns me on. I need no viagra with her because of her love for sex, she is up for anything! My libido stays strong with her because she is happy to please me .

[ChristianSwinging 59]

10 hours ago, hunterdonNJcpl said:

Have you tried Viagra or Cialis (or their generic equivalents)?

Yes, when I do I use Tadalafil, which at least sometimes helps me to get stiff quicker but unfortunately I can't keep it up for long.

At some point the reasons are more in my head, even if my too small balls also play a part in it.

Even though we still enjoy the time and my girlfriend is very loving and understanding. But I feel uncomfortable taking a pill just to be able to penetrate her.

What often makes me sadder is that I can't hold the erection long enough to cum inside her although she would enjoy it very much.

I'm very glad that we have 3 potent friends who can fulfill her desire for extensive penetration and her wish for a nice cum filling inside her.

 

As nice as it is and I know it doesn't bother either of them, it somehow makes me sad when I share the experience with both of them that I can't show them my male joy with my erection.

Especially when she wants to hold me in her hand or suck.

[lcmim 1,086]

I can recognize your dilemma.

May I ask how old you are and what kind of shape you are in?

 

I am 73 and depending on the time of year physically I am in shape or not so much. I work outdoors  in construction, so winter is not my high exercise time.

 By summers end all systems are working better.

Age is not helping.

 

The head thing also comes into play, as not performing up to my own standard gets into my head, as does tension from jobs sometimes.

 

Exercise a healthy diet and some intentional relaxing activity might just get you past much of this.

 

There are also so many ways to participate and excel that do not require an erection. When we start with a couple it is always soft swing. So far most all have been excited about coming back for more. I thinks many husbands are lacking in these skills for some reason.

 

Post me privately if you wish.

[Peter Pan 0]

I had a radical prostatectomy and it took me over a year to regain a decent hardness. I take tadalafil 5mg on a daily basis. It gets me hard, but not always enough for penetration or complete intercourse. I use an electric vacuum pump (on doctors advice) which I could test for some weeks via the hospital. This works all the time and it helps in regaining an erection even without the pump. I'm happy with it and so is my partner.

[ChristianSwinging 59]

8 hours ago, lcmim said:

I can recognize your dilemma.

May I ask how old you are and what kind of shape you are in?

I'm 49 and physically completely healthy except for my diabetes.
Unfortunately, I previously had a 25-year marriage in which there was no sex at all.
I think that took away my potency.

 

8 hours ago, lcmim said:

There are also so many ways to participate and excel that do not require an erection. When we start with a couple it is always soft swing. So far most all have been excited about coming back for more. I thinks many husbands are lacking in these skills for some reason.

Yes, I use other ways to participate.

At the moment when we're together I'm more concerned with her feelings, to give her tenderness and sensuality.

I'm happy to do the kissing and caressing 

while she receiving pleasure from a friend's cock so she doesn't have to forego the natural desire of a male penetration.

The nice thing about it is that it takes pressure off me and I can also see her from a different perspective and take more care of her. 

 

7 hours ago, Peter Pan said:

I take tadalafil 5mg on a daily basis. It gets me hard, but not always enough for penetration or complete intercourse. I use an electric vacuum pump (on doctors advice) which I could test for some weeks via the hospital. This works all the time and it helps in regaining an erection even without the pump. I'm happy with it and so is my partner.

I've already had the same idea of training in peace with a pump and will seek advice on this this week.

[lcmim 1,086]

I take it the diabetes is well controlled?

My experience with the daily tadalafil was similar to yours.

 

Maybe talk to your doctor about  upping the dosage or perhaps just doubling up an hour or so before you plan to play. Like I said do this in concert with your doctor.

 

 

[ChristianSwinging 59]

16 hours ago, lcmim said:

I take it the diabetes is well controlled?

My experience with the daily tadalafil was similar to yours.

 

Maybe talk to your doctor about  upping the dosage or perhaps just doubling up an hour or so before you plan to play. Like I said do this in concert with your doctor.

 

 

Yes, my diabetes is very well with No problems.

For me it's sad that sometimes I get an erection when nothing is happening and when I feel aroused or in the situation nothing happens.

  Normally I can take 20 mg of Tadalafil, but I often forget.

 

 

 

 

[EroticGent 76]

On 1/30/2020 at 2:39 PM, Fundamental Law said:

An interesting question. While no two couples share identical perspectives and experiences, we assert it's not just libido--it's making affirmative choices in how to continue life's journey into older age and even elderhood.

 

1. Gratitude matters. Being grateful for seeing each sunrise, sharing a meal, having less aches than the prior day. Older age, empty nest and so on, gives couples the time to be grateful.

2. Staying healthy together matters. Eating well, alcohol in moderation, health care, and above all doing it for each other matters. Speaking frankly about sexual issues with healthcare providers is important.

3. Accepting changing bodies and accommodating to fatigue, aches, and so on matters. Sex at 2 am is vastly overrated--8 am when rested is frankly a lot more fun.

4. Staying in touch with playmates and going on adventures--resorts, cruises, whatever--to create new connections, that also matters.

5. Making choices to stay exciting to each other--naked cocktail hour, erotic outfits, new toys, etc.--for and about each other matters.

 

If you sense that there is a focus here on the immediate spouse/partner, you are correct. Other couples sense that enthusiasm and confidence and say 'we want that for us'.

Beautifully summarized!  My impressions exactly.  Gratitude, taking care of one's body in all ways, acceptance, and loving-kindness are essential.