Unrealistic expectations?

[Ebonypowercoupl 23]

So a little background. We’re an experienced swing couple. We’ve been in the lifestyle together for 3 1/2 years. In addition to full swap, threesomes, and orgies, we’re into the Hotwife scene. My man is a bull who enjoys playing with couples seeking a well-hung man to please the wife. Recently we went on a cabin trip with one of the Hotwife couples we play with regularly and another one of her bulls. My man always invites me to come with him to hang with this couple even though I don’t play because the wife wants all of the attention on her.

 

So we’re at the cabin and everything is fine. My man and her other boyfriend are fucking her nonstop as usual. When they’re not fucking my man and I take some time to hang out in the hot tub and enjoy the Mountain View. So it’s time to head home and out of nowhere the husband walks into the living room and proceeds to brow beat my man about not making his wife feel special. He goes on a 30 minute tirade about how she didn’t get to do her fashion show for us and didn’t get to spend hours doing foreplay like she does with her other bull. Needless to say it was super awkward and totally killed the vibe. To add insult to injury they want us to go on vacay with them!

 

On the way home we discussed the situation and both felt that she is too needy and has gotten too emotionally clingy. In our opinion a bull isn’t there to do the things your husband should do - he’s a sexual supplement and friend. We aren’t going to do a vacay with them as we know she couldn’t handle seeing him have fun with other women. We don’t want to feel as though we’re being watched and scrutinized while on vacation.

 

Are we tripping or has this situation gone sour?

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

Already too much drama for us. Bah-bye. Too many other fish in the sea to be wasting time on a sucker fish.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

Nope, you're right on the money, this has gone sour and best to gracefully withdraw now rather than later since I expect it will only get worse. Depending on how much you guys value this play arrangement with them, then the only other option you might want to think about is a very direct heart to heart talk, as in "that shit was wrong and here's why, and it better not ever happen again, not even a hint of it."

 

Even if you do option #2 and try to salvage it, then no way no how on the vacay for now (in fact, can't even believe they had the nerve to mention it!). If after some time and demonstration on their part that they understand things, then they'll always be another vacation to think about.

[Ebonypowercoupl 23]

Thank you for the insight. It’s definitely strained things fo a point where we’ve put some distance between us. The wife reached out recently asking about the vacation and we declined and said it was due to our work schedules. Crazy thing is we just met another couple via a swing site and we’re planning to meet up. I was in contact with the wife and husband and gave my man the wife’s kik info info so they could chat and get to know each other. My man will chat here and there but he’s not big on endless texting and chatting especially when he hasn’t met someone in person yet. The wife got upset that he wasn’t communicating enough and called off our meeting this coming weekend. It’s starting to become a nuisance with some of these Hotwife couples. We just don’t see the lifestyle the same as others do. It’s extracurricular and fun - its not about falling in love with someone else and courting them. Sounds like we need to be more upfront with new couples that we meet that we’re not seeking a poly relationship and just want FWB.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

I think you're probably on to something with the idea that the hotwife type scenarios you guys have been involved with might lean a little more toward having these sorts of misunderstandings. Also think you are right on a little more upfront communication would probably help a lot on avoiding issues by getting everyone on the same page right away. That will probably cost you a few potential playmates, but better to have fewer contacts but ones that are in sync with you guys than more contacts that aren't a good fit to start with.

[Ebonypowercoupl 23]

That’s exactly right! We’re going to talk about it this weekend and make some new rules going forward so we don’t wind up in this scenario again. Thanks for the feedback! Have a great weekend.

[Guest]

Fashion show and hours of foreplay? I mean shit is there a break, do we get refreshments, are we waiting for stars to align to have sex, might have to book some holiday time for this one.

 

I kind of get the other husbands deal, I mean obviously he wants to provide his wife with a situation that makes her feel comfy, in fact I'd imagine fashion shows and long foreplay are things he has kind of promised her to keep the swing dream going. However there was better ways of handling that, for example he could have just sent a nice message requesting that next time you spend a little longer doing foreplay, or that you chat about fashion for a while or whatever.

[Alura 2,774]

Swinging is all about fun. We found swapping with couples was a lot more fun than the "Hot Wife" scenario.