Indelicate questions

[SteelRidge 19]

Not sure how to put this:

 

1) flatulence during group play - I guess a slip out may be funny, but what if somebody is really gassy?

 

2) bodily fluids - cum can get pretty sticky, how is that managed? Do people take showers in the middle of play?

 

3) have you ever been in a group where someone was just obnoxious to be around? How did you handle it?

 

4) anything else that may be an annoyance?

[SteelRidge 19]

These are real questions. Certainly stuff like this happens.

 

 

[kittyswinger 260]

1. This happened and I just gracefully initiated the laugh with the partner. ?

2. I take showers in between if on an mfm if things get sticky. Embarassing is going home and I didnt notice dried cum on me or on my dress ?

3. Not encountered obnoxious persons because I made sure I like them before meeting up for play. ?

4 Annoyance...hmm condom breaking... not sure if accidental or  intentional ?

 

[padoc 1,703]

Gas happens occasionally to everybody, it can be a bit embarrassing. If its me, I'll say, "oh! I'm so sorry", most women have reacted with grace. One simply rolled out from under me and said,"lets take a break". If my partner farts, I think it usually means Im doing something right and I'll carry on, giving the impression, I hope, that I either didn't notice or that it's natural and not offensive.

 

Sticky sex is easily addressed with a moist wash cloth or a wipe of some kind. If we're involved in group play, well, good sex is generally wet and messy,  isn't it?  Again, we carry on. Sometimes we'll take a break and the 4 or more of us will dip in the pool or the hot tub before round 2. A 2 dip afternoon/evening is rare but simply amazing!

[SteelRidge 19]

Thanks for the feedback.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

1. Everybody gets gas sometimes, and if there's a little slip, I don't think hardly anyone would make a big deal of it since they know how embarrassing it would be for them, and odds are, it will be some day, so got to watch your karma in stuff like that.  But, you try your absolute best not to put yourself in that situation.  When ee have dinner on a swinging night, we both keep what is planned for later in the evening in mind when perusing the menu.  Bean burrito covered in onions not the best choice for several different reasons.

 

2.  Usually no, but during extended play sessions, we have post-sex showered with friends, which usually would get things started all over again ?. Or like Padoc mentioned, got in the pool or hot tub, which again usually led to things getting started again.

 

3.  Obnoxious to be around...hmmm.  The only truly obnoxious person I can remember was playing naked pool volleyball at a swinger resort.  There was the one older guy who seemed to think this was the Olympic gold medal game or something and was waayyyyy too competitive.  Aggressively spiking it at the women just to score a point then taunting them and so on.  Complete dickhead.  After a little bit of that, another guy on his own team told him in a not subtle way to stop being a dick, or else get his ass out of the pool and go sit by himself somewhere.  When every other head in the pool nodded up and down, he got the message.  I mean really, you are in a pool on a hot summer day with a bunch of naked women who are jumping up out of the water with their arms outstretched, and you are trying to win the game as quickly as possible???  Dumbass!!

 

4.  Annoyance.  The usuals like frustration over how much work it takes, how hard it is to find good 4-way chemistry, single males sending you stupid messages on SLS, etc.

[Guest]

Never had anyone fart at a party. I have had my pussy fart out cum and no one was disgusted by it. My husband just commented that someone had fun and I said oh yeah, he liked it.

 

I just tolerate the sticky thing as long as lovers want to keep sticking it in me. I have changed stockings or shoes and at our parties we make the shower available. I also have one of those wands that women can use to dueche in the toilet.

 

I also put out towels and extra bedding in case

 

when someone is obnoxious I just get my husband to have them leave. I never want a guest to ruin a party.

 

what really makes me mad is the wife that doesn't participate scenario. We have had it happen a couple times. The husband is off sticking his cock in all the wives while his hides. I even had one that cleaned the kitchen all night while her husband played. Not good.

[Guest]

 

 

 

Question: flatulence during group play.

 

YES – once had a girl anal explode shit / diarrhoea all over my bed during a MFM. In fairness we had been at her hours, think both us had guys had fucked her at least 2 or 3 times when we started DP and in fairness she really got it. In the end however her husband pulled out of her bum and she just exploded all over him / over my bed / mixture of cum and diarrhoea. Was actually a real shame because it ruined the friendship, we were getting on great before that but think she was shy to come back after.

 

Question; bodily fluids

 

I have showered during meets / between sessions / on hot days.

 

However perhaps the BEST practice would simply be to have some kind of hand wipes, perhaps with an antibacterial / body safe like action. Guess this sounds silly but hey if rubbing all your hands / around your face with a face wipe thing cuts the risk of any STD or STI down 5% then sure I'll take that 5% anyway day.

 

Question: have you ever been in a group where someone was just obnoxious to be around? How did you handle it?

 

HELL YES, on various occasions, there are many ways to handle this, I mean honestly its NOT a small subject by any means. I mean firstly its learning about spotting such people / avoiding such people / learning to protect yourself against such people.

 

If I was to give you a few little bits of advice on this I'd say....

 

A: DON'T ever LOCK YOURSELF IN to anything where you can not LEAVE.

 

This means don't meet someone online and just randomly agree to sleep at their house for the night / don't agree to meet them for meals where your trapped for hours / don't agree to meet them for a film where again your trapped for hours / ONLY ever meet a person the first 2 or 3 times in a situation where you can WALK AWAY if needed, you know a quick coffee / few drinks / somewhere you can simply make an excuse to leave.

 

B: LEAVE: This can often be really awkward, in some cases you have spoken to this person for weeks / have arranged to meet them for weeks / have spent time, effort, money meeting them / at times may have even paid a lot of money in travel and accommodation.

 

However none of this really matters, if you believe this person could be rude / hostile / pushy / violent / wanting to break all your rules then sure JUST LEAVE.

 

If you have to make up an excuse.

 

“Dam I suddenly feel sick”

 

“Shit my heart feels funny and I left my pills at home”

 

“Dam my dad's just been rushed in hospital we better go”

 

DON'T give any reason to anger this person, be polite, be apologetic, I mean DAM we have run, DAM we have a family emergency and have to leave ASAP this second, but DAM I was really looking forward to getting to know you, can we rearrange soon, sorry to have to run.

 

? CCTV: Use CCTV as a weapon (it helps a lot!) I remember some years ago now we use to drink with an idiot of man. I mean he was okay whilst not drinking, but put a few tins of beer down his neck and he turned into the most obnoxious idiot on the planet, we generally tried to avoid him but you know sometimes he just appeared and clung on for dear life to ruin all our nights.

 

Well sometimes if he became loud / aggressive / just starting acting like a dick then basically I'd say something like.....

 

“Hey dude we better be careful this place is covered in CCTV. Did you see that camera they had at the door pointing at everyone's faces. Honestly we have just walked through the city centre and must have been seen on 2000 cameras by now, there is CCTV everywhere all with our faces on”

 

“Shit you used your card to buy a drink / coffee well they have all your details now and your face on CCTV, shit if they call the police we are done”

 

Sure I'm not saying it stopped this man from been a dick but it useless calmed him down long enough to make a quick exist or whatever.

 

Now if I'm meeting for a social meet (especially with guys involved) then sure I like to use a city centre location that is covered in CCTV and a coffee house that has plenty of CCTV cameras.

 

? AVOID DRINK: Honestly some people are perfectly okay with a few beers or glasses of wine, where honestly I have seen perfectly nice people have a few drinks and turn into total dickheads, that are not only a liability to themselves but to others as well.

I mean in some cases people only have a few drinks and end up stabbing each other, either that or falling over drunk / falling through coffee tables / breaking ankles.

 

In all honesty in years past I have found coffee and energy drinks to be useful. I mean if your going to take someone home and fuck them, maybe until the early hours then sure do you want them drinking coffee and energy drinks or slamming down Vodka's until they can't stand up any more.

 

E: SO MUCH: Really this is just a fraction, have not got time to cover it all here but really there is so much you can look at. What follows is more just quick fire tips / ideas / pointers.

 

For example to spot a PVP (Potentially Violent Person) or in this case abusive / nasty / controlling / rude / pushy there are a LOT of things you can look for, these would include:

 

Serious fixations on violent or rough sex / gang tattoos / tattoos of weapons / violent or racist tattoos / scaring of the face or knuckles from fighting / scars around the lips or eyes from fighting / speaking badly about people, if this person really speaks badly about ex partners or friends / thir body language, if its calm and relaxed or erratic and demanding.

 

Your also looking at their clothes, are they clean / have they showered / can you see any needle tracks on their arms / any signs of drug abuse / any white powders around the nose / any extra long fingers nails for snorting drugs / any burnt or stain teeth or finger tips form heavy drug use / any attempted suicide scars / any signs of self harming.

 

You looking for a history or knowledge of medications used to treat depression, anger, anxiety, HIV, or other serious illnesses. Your looking for any knowledge or experience they have with drug rehab / homeless shelters / hostels / prisons / offenders units.

 

You are also looking for prison tattoos, crude self done tattoos with Indian ink. You are also looking for weapon collectors / train fighters / boxers / martial artists / fighting fans / people who are obsessed with fighting / UFC / wrestling / full on violent sports.

 

You are also looking for their attitude towards police, not many criminals, drug users, violent idiots like police or authority figures very much and way speak harshly about them. Your also going to watch for any hatred towards blood tests, hospitals, medical situations, if a person for example has an extreme needle phobia then when, how are they going to be STD tested.

 

You looking for this person been rude or pushy to people, rude, pushy, nasty towards the waiter, towards the taxi driver, towards the bar staff then yeah probably want to get out of there quick. Your also going to look for things like knowledge of drugs, knowledge of street crime, knowledge of how much drugs or stolen property sells for.

 

You need to look close, any smack or crack head can put on a nice jumper, look at the teeth, look at the finger nails, look at how they move, if they seem frigidity, nervous, on edge, making rapid movements or basically seem like they are on a come down.

 

Men who turn up to meet you in gym gear / fishing gear / hunting gear / bicycle gear / or with cars loaded up with such things are usually cheating on someone. Your going to watch for very strong religious, political, or racial views, people who have STRONG VIEWS become upset the most when you challenge them, even if you didn't mean to.

 

Your going to totally 100% avoid telling this person / couple anything real about your lives until you have had chance to meet them / get to know them. This means your not going to tell them where you work / what street you live on / where your girlfriend works / where she went to school / your real last names / your going to keep this person at arms length until you know they are okay, and even then I'd not be giving them all your details.

 

F: POLICE: This is a trick I started using many years ago and it some respects it does work / help. Now I could not care about your situation, for all I know your a raging crack head, for all I know you might heavily dislike or mistrust police.

 

However..... That does NOT STOP YOU from letting people believe you are police family. For an example here if we meet a single man, male in a couple that seems funny then sure I'd often say something like:

 

“Yeah I have to admit its REALLY DAM VITAL that you don't come to our house uninvited or turn up at our jobs or anything like that because you could say my family is really nosy and protective, I mean sure they mean well but with both my brothers been police officers they are always popping over with their families to see if we are okay”

 

“Its a bit embarrassing really because sometimes we will have old school friends over that my brothers don't know and on meeting them its like a scene from CSI you know my poor friends end up interrogated. Think one of my brothers even ran my friends license plate once so really its probably best that you keep a distance unless invited”

 

You know I want this guy to think that within 1 phones call from me my two armed police officer brothers / uncles / fathers will come kicking in that door backed up by a third of the cities police officers. You know hurt us / mess us around / attack us and your attacking a police family, every police officer in a 20 miles radius will be looking for.

 

I mean you don't have to say all of that but its the impression I am trying to give. Really its all rubbish, none of my family are in the police, but sure I don't mind the odd single man thinking I have the law on my side, that phone call could see him arrested, ECT.

 

Question: anything else that may be an annoyance?

 

Door to door salesmen, mom and dad banging on the door half way into a session.

 

I better go.

 

Also, watch out for anyone who can not cum / has pain during sex / pain when cumming / stomach pains during sex / if they say they have any type of problem cumming such as pain / insane itching / rashes / swelling / funny discharges / extremely smelly cum, then sure if a person is giving you symptoms of STDS then be careful, learn to hear them.

 

Please watch for people lying to you about STD tests, many have not been tested in a long time, virtually all however will say they have. Like stated watch out for anyone who hates medical situations / blood tests / needle phobias / anyone who is against giving blood or can't for religious reasons.

 

Really had better go

 

[kittyswinger 260]

3 hours ago, Sun&Moon said:

POLICE: This is a trick I started using many years ago and it some respects it does work / help. Now I could not care about your situation, for all I know your a raging crack head, for all I know you might heavily dislike or mistrust police.

 

Not all people who mistrust police are criminals or bunch of crack heads. Libertarians are displeased with any show of government badges to get into their beds or bedrooms! Governments should stay out of our relationship styles and sex lives! Period.

[padoc 1,703]

FFS!!!!! I spent 30 years as a cop! Im conservative politically but Im an absolute libertine sexually. Cops in a free society are NOT the enemy of the people, we are the guardians of the people and of their freedoms.

[Guest]

 

I couldn't agree more padoc.

 

Have known some truly amazing police officers in my time, in fact some years ago now one of the women I had a three way relationship with for like 1.5 years was actually a police officer, and you know what looking back out of all the people I have ever met I'd still say that female police officer did offer us the best, cleanest, safest friendship we ever had, honestly the sheer effort and friendship that women gave to our lives was unreal.

 

I myself was offered a job as a detective on one of England's biggest and most dangerous drug task forces and spent many years working along side police, in fact part of my job was basically training police and armed forces recruits, and sure the overall majority of them have been nice / good people, many of which actually have really friendly natures and dam good communication skills.

 

I always liked hanging around with our female police officer friend, I mean she had been a police officer a long time and she was a dam good officer and due to both our training, due to both our working lives we kind of gelled really well together, that in most cases we could see things other's couldn't, could basically see trouble before it even happened.

 

I'd also point out that as a police officer she knew I smoked pot back then and basically “No fucks were given” as long as I didn't do it near her she couldn't have cared less, once that uniform came off she couldn't have given a fuck as long as no one got hurt or it didn't effect her. She was actually a lovely person, I think still to this day she did the nicest thing any swing partner has ever done, I mean please check this out for the level of friendship this police officer gave us.

 

Okay so basically we had arranged to meet her but 2 or 3 days later when the day finally arrived both me and my girlfriend was seriously sick with some kind of cold / flu type situation, I mean honestly we both felt shocking, sneezing, coughing, just felt awful so had to cancel the meet.

 

Well we laid there feeling sorry for ourselves and maybe 2 hours later we heard a knock on the door, so shuffling towards the door in some plague ridden fashion I swing open the door to see this sickly bright light which must have made me look like a zombie when all of sudden in steps our police officer friend and honestly I couldn't believe it.......

 

In her hands she had two bags basically full of nice food and medicine, she walked into our living room and looked us both and basically said:

 

“Right I have booked 4 days off work and I'm here to look after you both. You two get sick, I get sick, I'm yours”

 

I mean sure at the time she was basically our girlfriend but sure we was the nicest thing anyone has ever done for us and sure enough she spent the next 3 or 4 days looking after us, and yeah even ended up getting sick herself in the process, but you know a week later we were all laid in bed having such fantastic close sex that none of it mattered.

 

I always liked her attitude as well, I mean to look at you might see a stern upright police officer, then she would take off the uniform and let down her hair and really you just had this really sexy and fun open minded women stud there. I mean you might expect a uptight police officer or stern personality, but honestly she was great, she didn't give a fuck if all we did was ate food, drink, laugh, watch films, or if I did nothing but throw her around the bedroom all evening.

 

Well enough about that, but sure my overall point is that in some cases it doesn't actually hurt to let certain people THINK that your close with police / have police friends / have police family members / that one of your next door neighbours is in fact a police officer.

 

CALL THE POLICE:

 

Something I will also add here which is fairly vital for people to understand is basically NEVER be scared to call the police if your been stalked or think your lives could be in danger.

 

Lets say for an EXAMPLE:

 

You meet a single man and it turns out he is unstable / dangerous / stalker then if “Swinging” is actually LEGAL in your area then sure do not be scared to call the police. In most cases you don't even need to tell the police the full story, many police officers are trained to be discreet and read between the lines, but sure all the police really need to hear from you is this person is harassing you / your home / wife and you want them stopped, that is all.

 

You can honest with them and simply say you had spoken with this person about the idea of group sex / spicing up your love life as a couple / but they have become aggressive, obsessed, won't take no for an answer.

 

Generally if we meet a single man / unknown possibly strange couple then generally I like them to think that I am police friendly / potentially have police back up such as family friends and close friends / and that I AM NOT SCARED to call the police if our lives or home are put in danger even for a second. Not scared of court. Not scared of discussing every detail.

 

You know personally the police officer can think whatever he / she likes. Sure they could burst in to find the guy in full women's clothes with a 24 inch dildo rammed up his bum, doesn't actually matter what they THINK it just matters what the law says. In my case, in my country swinging is NOT illegal so really I can have a threesome / foursome and the law will be on MY SIDE, the law won't be on the side of the person who is stalking you, threatening you, making you feel unsafe.

 

You know in many cases I'd not even give a shit, two police officers would walk in my house, I'd smile, greet them, ask how they are, and sure we would sit down and I'd just hold my hands up and say......

 

“To be honest, to be 100% honest guys, in confidence and perhaps off the books if possible please, but basically guys we are swingers, we tried to begin a civil sexual friendship with this person and they have turned out to be a total lunatic who is threatening us, stalking us, been nasty. I understand its a strange / sensitive issue but can you please warn this person away, please ask them to stop contacting us / stop coming near our home or places of work, we just want a peaceful, law aiding end to this conflict before this person hurts anyone, can you please help?”

 

In all fairness most police officers might have a chuckle in private but would respect your honesty and quick open explanation. Remember if this person is calling you / if this person is making threats against you / if this person is the one approaching your work or home, then YOU are doing nothing wrong, its this other person who needs to keep away and the police will SEE THAT.

 

Kind of funny really because I have met some police officers who are basically dumb as two short planks, however the vast majority of officers actually end up been very intelligent / well trained / motivated and resourceful people. You know their not “Dumb” far from in fact, often they know things about people, about society, about body language, about patterns of speech, that you wouldn't even begin to understand unless you have lived that life.

 

I think most police officers would say “Its just a job” and sure it is, but it does involve walking in a totally different set of shoes than your average person, it means learning and looking at various things that your average person just doesn't do / doesn't train in.

 

Kind of feel sorry for police in some respects, I mean I have literally worked with these people, I have seen what the do, have seen their stations, their cars, their procedures and technology and sure any time a police officer does something bad there is someone there to upload it to YouTube but generally when an officer does something good, which like they do every week at some point there is no one there to film that.

 

I mean honestly I'd actually say been a police officer is a really dam good / bad job. You know sure sense of pride, sense of helping people and the world, but still about 50% of the people they deal with on a daily basis are proper scum of the earth type people. Honestly think I'd get pissed off spending everyday dealing with hard drug addicts / rapists / women beaters / those street criminals that will just never change no matter how many times they are arrested.

 

Also feel sorry for police that in many cases they are not just dealing with criminals, but are basically dealing with mentally unstable people, those who are either mentally sick or have just fried their brains with drugs and drink. Don't think many people see the officers cleaning blood / sick / piss / shit / spit out of the back of their cars or vans every weekend.

 

Been to a few police parties in my time and that is always fun as well, I mean again you would perhaps expect a rather stuck up affair.... Like fuck!!!! Half of them don't give a fuck about drugs, half of them are pissed and having fun, and their all bloody fucking each other or have done, but suddenly if one of them gets in trouble / falls over / gets hurt / gets someone causing them grief then in like 0.1 of a second you have 20 officers and their back, trying to help, ECT.

 

Real team spirit, kind of funny really because I have known police officers who basically hate each other, you know real clash of personality type deals, but still if in trouble they will run in to help.

 

In this case however letting someone THINK you are close with police / not scared to call police will help deter a lot of the weaker, lower level like stalkers, idiots, and things like that.

[kittyswinger 260]

19 hours ago, padoc said:

FFS!!!!! I spent 30 years as a cop! Im conservative politically but Im an absolute libertine sexually. Cops in a free society are NOT the enemy of the people, we are the guardians of the people and of their freedoms.

I agree with you. What I object to is  Sun&Moon's suggestion of flaunting one's or family's affiliation with the police prior to a swing meetup. I believe it is akin to showing a badge as part of a play, which I find not to be acceptable. If one is a cop or one belongs to a family of cops, there is no need to mention it up-front unless as part of the 'what do you do for a living' conversation.

[adamgunn 1,460]

I agree with Sun's assertion that police are not the enemy - but with a few exceptions. There are bad cops, just as there are bad doctors, bad steelworkers. The issue is that the ones who are bad also view themselves above society, and thus are very dangerous. So I'm going to be wary of police until I get to know them.