The Secret To Measuring A Penis, The Mystery Revealed

[OhioCouple 41]

It is "QUITE OBVIOUS" that some of us have too much time on our hands...literally.

 

Due to all the talk on penis size, what's too big, what's enough...etc., EBF, (our fearless leader in innovation) was feeling a tad more than bored yesterday and found a way to determine actual length of the male winkie. I must admit it makes sense to me as now there are no more guessing games as to where the penis is actually measured. Seems that some men tend to measure in what they perceive as their favor. Not any more Gentlemen. Ladies, you can now determine it for yourself, and best of all it's free!

 

EBF and I have agreed to share our original PM's on this subject that is sure to make a major impact on the world of choosing your sexual partners as to what is most comfortable for you.

 

Materials required:

 

Your hand

A ruler

 

 

As originally PM'd by EBF:

Penis Size Poll Take a look at the poll results. Now...sitting here...bored...so I got out this 7" ruler...and I measured the palm of my hand. It is exactly

3-1/4 inches across and I have average size hands...actually a little on the large size for my overall size. So then...I grasped the ruler - with my hand around it like you would a penis. Again, about 3-1/4 inches leaving 3-3/4 inches extending all the while thinking...if I grasped a man's penis at the base, the width of my hand would be approx. 3-1/4 inches and the part extending would be 1, 2, 3 inches. And then I looked at that and thought HOLY CRAP...That is one hell of a length...at just 7 inches and I think that would hurt the hell out of me. Then....looking at that poll again...those really LONG things....those are WEAPONS and potentially weapons of MASS DESTRUCTION.

 

OK....so the point is...I'm wondering if I'm the only one that is thinking this? Are these men lying? Are these women lying about enjoying these huge things? Comments? Questions? Or do I just need to "get a life?"

 

My response to EBF:

OMGoodness.... I am cracking up!

 

Answer to the last question first! YES, YOU NEED A LIFE!!!

 

Now, for all of the rest of it. You got me curious so I whipped out my handy dandy tape measure and I measured the widest part of my palm. Exactly 3 1/4 inches. Now when I start thinking about these 'hung' guys, I nearly freaked. Just looking at seven real inches paired to my hand is enough to do some massive damage. I know those little tongie thingies that they insert into you for your pelvic exams aren't that long and they can be a royal pain. Then I examined what a 9 inch would look like. Holy shit! It looked like a baseball bat. You are a nurse, are women's vaginas really that deep? I know for sure mine isn't. I'm thinking that Mr. O is about average in size and damn that can be tough on me at times, especially doggie style, his favorite. I can't imagine having 9 inches of baseball bat meat pounding in me.

 

We actually turned down swinging with a couple because the guy was so long. They tried to explain to us that you get used to it. Uhhhh, yeah, I think not and I'd prefer not to test that theory.

 

So I think the real question lies in how most of these guys measure their winkies. They must be going behind the scrotum or something cause I've seen a lot of 'em and I've never seen one that compared to the palm of my hand like that.

 

Good Lord...I need a life. It's New Year's Eve and I'm cleaning house and comparing winkies to my palm in between folding laundry.

 

Now, Ladies please comment on this new measuring method (and even the men if they care to comment). Take a moment to measure the widest part of your palm (it helps to use a table as your base so that you get an accurate measurement of your palm. Then using your ruler or for some who made need a yardstick... place your hand back on the table as if you were going to do a karate chop and add place the measuring device atop the widest part of your palm. Add the additional inches of your desired winkie. Reality will stare you straight in the face.

 

Something to ponder... Are you that deep or are they really that long? Does a wider palm on a female make for a deeper love cushion?

[PrtyinDuo 18]

:lol:

 

You guys are tooooo much!! But since we took the time to read the post. Mine palm is also 3 1/4 inches wide. (We know four sure because the Mr. had to measure it more than once for comparability) And for those that care, his palm is 3 1/2.

[yawanna 17]

If you two don't have enough work to keep you busy.... I have a couch full of clothes to be cleaned and put away and umpteen boxes upstairs to be unpacked - ya... we moved in April and no we're not unpacked yet

 

I'll measure my hand later.... when MrYaWanna isn't looking 'cause the only tape measure we have is my Stanley Tape Measure in my toolbox.

 

However!!!!! I have small hands.... a size 5 ring.... and while I'm not necessarily the Grand Canyon down there, I have had men 9 and 10". Listen up - they tend to 'accordion' after a certain depth (if you get my drift *wink*). Doesn't seem to bother the men much...in fact, I think the larger men have gotten rather used to their size and behave accordingly with their partners.

 

As for measuring penis length..... it is my understanding that the measurement is taken from the TOP...from the base of the erect penis to the tip. Many times I've heard men say they are 9" and they are in fact 5 or 6". They measure from below, at the base of the scrotum, requiring a certain amount of indentation of the ruler to get to the internal 'base'. Which, I think, can account for some average men becoming too zealous and still being able to bang too hard on a woman's cervix.

 

And no... we haven't measured MrYaWanna

 

[Elusive BiFem 70]

As some of you already know, I am sometimes a little slow to pick up on certain things. And as far as that particular poll on penis sizes...well, I honestly had not paid an awful lot of attention to it...wasn't anything for me to vote in, so....I don't know that I had ever even looked at the voting results...until yesterday at the height of my boredom. Then, sitting here at my desk, wondering...got to looking at the 7" ruler and thinking...well, you know what I was thinking. Then the measurement thing. So now? Who can I talk to about this? WR wasn't at home...and lo! Mrs. O... She was the lucky one. But I must say, her response cracked me up...you know...those deep belly laughs you get sometimes because I could just see her sitting there thinking, "EBF has lost it this time!" Then slowly, beginning to wonder...and the ruler comes out.

 

All I can say is ladies, I think we're onto something. No longer can we be told that this ______________________ is a good 7 inches. We have our palm sizes down to an exact measurement!

 

- EBF

[hfire269 16]

That's kind of funny. My palm only measures 3 inches..lol I have never been with a well hung guy. My hubby is average but he still hits my cervix every now and again depending on the position that we are trying.

[wrnakedru 38]

I got to considering the actually logistics required to pull off this measuring method without it being terribly obvious as to the purpose for it. {I take it subtle is the word of the day!}

 

It occurs to me that a guy is gonna notice you laying your hand flat down karate chop style against his groin/pubic area beside his Mount Everest whilst eyeballing the approximate amount of overage above the width of your palm. I don't think they are so ecstatic about being touched that they wouldn't notice this particularly odd maneuver.

 

So while I contemplated this dilemma and idly toyed with my ruler [by the way, my right palm measures 3 3/8"; my left palm measures 3 3/16"] - I began considering how much more natural a movement it would be to wrap my hand around the afore-mentioned tool of pleasure, in a usual manner.

 

I realized it probably would not even be noticed if I pressed my grasping hand firmly against the base of operations for a few moments, and decided that was definitely the way it needed to be done.

 

And then EUREKA! I happened to glance at where on my ruler my hand now measured a considerably different number. The additional little folds of digits now rendered a reading of 3 3/4" with my right hand - and 3 5/8" for the left hand. Allowing for some slight variances of mounded flesh and muscle structure in the playground vicinity, it seems plausible to allow a 4" measurement for the hand. Even so, a viewing of that as I attempted to re-create the looser grasping of additional girth - well, ladies, I gotta agree with the conclusion you reached: It certainly seems a love weapon of 5 1/2" to 6" [detail addendum of average to generous girth] has got to be a gracious plenty to effectively satisfy both partners involved.

 

I DO think that to be accurate [and fair] measurements should be taken on three (3) different occasions when at peak appearance and a final determination done based on an average of the three readings.

 

P.S. It might be wise if we try to find a soft material small measuring tape to hold in our grasping hand to be sure our estimates are as close to being correct as possible. After all, it is entirely possible the reason we ladies always kiss the tires on the curb when we attempt to parallel park is our inability to gauge the distance to the curb if we have based it on what we have been told for years was seven or eight inches!:slam":claps:

 

EDIT: Ya know, it seems to me - if we measure our hands from where the base of palm would rest flat against the side of the penis at the base - straight up the to the tippy top of the middle finger - and use that as the "comparison tool" - not only are the numbers closer to one another BUT many believe that measurement on a woman is indicative of her "depth". Hmmmm!

[OhioCouple 41]

Originally posted by wrnakedru

EDIT: Ya know, it seems to me - if we measure our hands from where the base of palm would rest flat against the side of the penis at the base - straight up the to the tippy top of the middle finger - and use that as the "comparison tool" - not only are the numbers closer to one another BUT many believe that measurement on a woman is indicative of her "depth". Hmmmm!

 

I think I'm losing my mind over this! If we use this type of measurement and based on where ever you got your info on depth vs palm to the tippy top of the middle finger then my depth is 7 1/4".

 

However using the other approach seems less likely to draw attention to the examination process. Rarely does a woman grasp a man in a straight hand forward around the penis (at least not in the XXX films I've seen). This could however be achieved if you wrap the pointer finger above and the ring and pinkie finger below it, leaving the middle finger to measure the shaft. Sort of like a warped hand shake. If the shaft does not measure within the desired dimensions, the hand withdrawal method would then come into play. (Could using the pointer finger be where the term f*ck you came from? )

 

To stir the pot up even more, I've heard that some women gauge it by the gag reflex.

 

EBF, you started this...my mind is working way too much overtime!

[wrnakedru 38]

Originally posted by OhioCouple To stir the pot up even more, I've heard that some women gauge it by the gag reflex.

 

I am not at all sure this method has any value whatsoever since it could vary greater depending upon whether or not a lady even HAS a gag reflex at all.

 

I think I do HAVE a gag reflex but it is not nearly as sensitively disturbed as that of some others. If you recall from Tulsa - twice a day I take a literal handful of vitamins and minerals. The morning round is 15 in number, and the afternoon round is 17 or 18 - some of these are quite large individually. But I long ago, simply for expediency, developed the ability to throw the whole assortment in and swallow them with one small sip of liquid.

 

Now I no longer even think twice about doing this. But I do recall the look that came over Mr. O when I got them out and prepared to take them. He actually turned very pale and sort of grimaced - saying, under his breath, "Oh, no - don't - don't". I didn't realize until after I had done my usual 'get it over with all at once' swallow that the emotion he was expressing was more fear than awe.

 

It wasn't until you explained that your hubby has difficulty even downing a single aspirin due to having once nearly choked to death when a pill got lodged in his throat that I understood his paleness and horrified expression.

 

Utilizing that contrast - the gag reflex variance between individuals certainly makes this a terribly inaccurate method for measurement.

 

It would take something quite monumental to trigger my gag reflex. But if a lady were as sensitive as your husband, the gag reflex reaction might only be indicative of a size that to most would be almost insignificant.

 

Nope - afraid that method just is too unreliable.

 

To say nothing of the fact if Mr. O were to view you utilizing this method, medical assistance for him would likely be necessary!

 

Are you sure subtlety is absolutely necessary?

 

It's beginning to sound as if the ole tape measurer direct approach could be the way to go for truth and accuracy. Of course, we aren't even considering the variable of left or right hand swooping turns some of them do.

 

What's up with that anyway? I guess we need EBF's medical expertise to answer that one.

 

Paging EBF!

[C@YWMI 15]

With all this discussion on how to measure appendages. I am beginning to understand why it takes so long for our lawmakers to make simple changes in laws. In fact it is a miracle that laws are passed at all LOL sheesh

[Elusive BiFem 70]

OK, with all of this talk back and forth on how to measure, the points of reference, etc., it seems quite obvious we females need to make a firm decision on the method to be utilized for these measurements. A universal method, so to speak. One upon which we all agree so as to allow the necessary "standards" to be addressed and recognized by all.

 

For example, if I should communicate to Mrs. Handyman or yawanna that I discovered a "winkie" (gotta love that one!) that measures exactly 7 1/4 inches, they will be confident that should they measure that same "winkie" they would obtain the same numbers. Do you recall that mathmatical thing - pi...3.14 something? Whatever it was for? Anyway, the point being...a universal method of accurate measurement.

 

Now. I did talk to WR yesterday and relayed my thoughts on the best way to accomplish this universal method. Of course, being a nurse, my thoughts run more to the scientific and sometimes exacting standards. However, there is a way this exact measurement could be accomplished, following the guidelines for inserting a urinary catheter into a man. I hesitate to write it here for fear that every man reading this post would, for the balance of his life, be left with a "winkie" measuring less than 2 inches - by any standards or observations. Somehow, talk of catheter insertion causes men's "winkies" to do funny things...kind of like hide and seek games.

 

Maybe we should start a forum for females only...no men allowed. I wonder if Julie would provide us with a very private password to ensure no male admittance to the new "WINKIE FORUM"? These are pertinent issues that should be discussed and addressed by all females in our society.

[MrYaWanna 15]

Ok, before you ladies take this into some private girls only area I better get my 2 cents in.

 

Sounds to me like you should design and patent a Winky gauge. You could create a society of professionals, make women take training and pass a test to receive the approved gauge, have a secret handshake, perhaps even a ring or charm to signify to the world that you are indeed a qualified Winky measurer. I wonder if you could get it CSA or ASA approved? lol Hell, it could spin off into a maintenance and certification business. I can see it now, painted on the sides of service vans racing about the country. OH, and a Charter, Mission Statement, conferences, news letters, window decals, advertising, the whole nine yards.

 

Years from now there would be a “History of the Winky Gauge” coffee table book, featuring your pictures and biographies. Old grainy pictures of the first gauge, the lovingly hand crafted table model, right up to the new portable laser model!!

 

Who wants to be the founding President?

 

 

Oh, and Happy New Year Everyone!!

[Uneed_Love 15]

Originally posted by yawanna

As for measuring penis length..... it is my understanding that the measurement is taken from the TOP...from the base of the erect penis to the tip.

ABSOLUTELY that's the way I do... In such condition I am about 6"5 which is an honest size according to me.

 

Many times I've heard men say they are 9" and they are in fact 5 or 6". They measure from below, at the base of the scrotum, requiring a certain amount of indentation of the ruler to get to the internal 'base'.

in such way I should have a bazooka between my legs if I were practicing, in the meanwhile, some streeeeeeching exercises, balls down, head up, balls down, head up, down, up, down.... ouch

[BradAndJanet 70]

This has been a quite interesting thread and I just wanted to offer myself up (for the sake of science, of course!) for testing of any sort that you ladies feel is necessary to validate your methods of measurement.

 

-B

[Elusive BiFem 70]

Originally posted by MrYaWanna

Sounds to me like you should design and patent a Winky gauge. You could create a society of professionals, make women take training and pass a test to receive the approved gauge, have a secret handshake, perhaps even a ring or charm to signify to the world that you are indeed a qualified Winky measurer. I wonder if you could get it CSA or ASA approved?

Who wants to be the founding President?

 

 

Oh, and Happy New Year Everyone!!

 

And not a bad idea! Then...we could move into the various clubs, on a fee for service basis of course. All those wishing certification of their mearsurements would pay a fee...say for a certain period of time - maybe 6 months. And of course, for ladies questioning the accuracy of stated size, there would be no fee. However, if the accurate and certified measurements did not "measure up" to what had been previously stated, I would suggest that that particular gentleman be placed on a BANNED list...to be distributed to all clubs. After all, we need truth in advertising.

[Alura 2,775]

She and I had a chat about winkie measurement and she said she'd post a reply based on "Rich," the man of the couple we first played with. I'm convinced she's never going to find time, so I'll give you the gist of our conversation. If she wants to add something later, so much the better.

 

We measured Mrs. Alura's hands in the "Winkie Measurements International, LLC" prescribed manner and found them to be virtually the same at three and a quarter inches. (Mrs. Alura had thought for years that her hand was at least six inches across, based on the claims of men she'd known in the past.)

 

Rich, who never mentioned his winkie size, astounded both of us when he undressed at our first play date. Now, I have to admit that I had little interest in the many winkies I'd seen in locker rooms and military showers, but if I'd ever seen one like that, I think I'd have remembered it. He claimed nine and a half inches and assured Mrs. Alura, who did not think he was exaggerating, that there would be no problem, that he would not hurt her. "Women stretch a lot," he explained.

 

"I believe the hand measurement would work pretty well," opined Mrs. Alura. "Both my hands measure three and a quarter inches. When I had them both wrapped around Rich's cock, that makes six and a half inches, with three inches in my mouth. I think that's about right."

 

(I wonder if this post should be in the "How big is too big?" thread....??? Oh, well...)

 

We ended up in separate rooms not because it was the preference of either couple, they were new, too, but because we all thought that was the way "Swinging" was done. Mrs. Rich seemed distracted at first but I managed to get her attention with my tongue and things were going well until we heard Mrs. Alura's voice shouting, "FUCK ME!!!!".

 

"Oh, my God!" said Mrs. Rich, "Do you think she's okay?"

 

"Yes," I replied. "I definitely think she's okay. Wanna go watch?" (Evil leer on my face...)

 

We ran for the bedroom and were greeted by one of the sexiest sights my eyes ever beheld. Mrs. Alura was on her back with Rich between her shapely (and widely spread) legs. She held a buttock in each hand, controlling his thrusts, each one of which she was meeting with enthusiasm and shrieks. The sight of his "winkie" sliding in and out of my wife was amazing (and very hot!!!).

 

Well, Rich didn't last long with all this going on and the show was over far too soon. (I think that's when I decided same room-same bed was the way to go in swinging.) The noise abated, the bed stopped rocking, and the four of us talked for an hour or so until the winkies started to revive. Eventually, we paired off with our spouses and went to sleep in separate rooms. But sleep didn't come for awhile; both couples made love.

 

The next morning when the Rich's came out of the bedroom, something was obviously wrong. They left right away but a couple of days later, Rich came by alone and talked to me about what had happened. His wife was very jealous. His real problems began, though, when she asked, "Is she better than I am?" Rich apparently thought too long before answering, "Oh, of course not."

 

"I had to tell her that," he said. "I know it was a lie."

 

His wife didn't want to swing again but he wanted to come over for threesomes or, better yet, to have sex with Mrs. Alura alone. We showed him how the door worked and never saw him again.

[MattMann 17]

Wow, that was a great story. I am always surprised to read about women who are insecure about their lovemaking or think another woman is better than them. I thought that was strictly a male problem and women had far less to worry about as far as differences in "equipment" and performance, etc. I could never rate woman better than another as far as the sex act is concerned, they were all great. Some may have better personalities and demeanors but you don't have to have sex with them to find that out. Usually.

[curiousagain 326]

I thought they measued horses by hands as a unit of measure.

Then again.............

[stoutgatte 25]

 

Funny how old threads get new life... This one had me holding my tummy at some stage, I'm sure it's still sore...

[cplnuswing 4,713]

This old thread makes me think of that game you play where you go hand over hand up a stick or baseball bat and the last one whose got something grip gets to go first

 

As a straight male, probably not a technique that'll I'll ever find much use for (but, had to do it, my palm measures 4", so I'm ready just in case), but I can see where it might come in handy for the ladies to know such things

[Alura 2,775]

The measurement of horses in "hands" is four inches equal one hand.

[Numex 2,459]

Quoting William Thomson, often referred to simply as Lord Kelvin:

 

"I often say that when you can measure what you are speaking about, and express it in numbers, you know something about it; but when you cannot measure it, when you cannot express it in numbers, your knowledge is of a meagre and unsatisfactory kind; it may be the beginning of knowledge, but you have scarcely, in your thoughts, advanced to the stage of science, whatever the matter may be."