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RickandLinda

Where do we fit??

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We’ve talked about it for a long time...been to a couple clubs and met some people.  We really enjoy the lifestyle and the friendliness of the people and the non-judgemental, accepting attitudes.  At the club, we love the sexy atmosphere...the music and dancing.  Frankly we also find it very erotic to watch. BUT...we’ve decided that the actual full swap isn’t for us.  Do we still fit in somewhere?? 

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Yes! People can watch other people. And you can be watched. Do not feel pressure to soft or full swap if you do not want to. We have watched and been watched, soft and full swapped. But we have also taken breaks in swinging. Everyone should be taking a break now with coronavirus. We have met so many open, sexy, kind and together people in the lifestyle. It is what you want it to be. Don’t be coerced into doing things you don’t want to do. 

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My wife and I know several couples who swap softly only. Consider meeting soft-swap people as a possible path. 

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Yes, and it all comes under swinging. Even if it is just same room sex with another couple (no cross-couple touching), it's still swinging (and sexy as heck). The thing you need to be careful about is that same room sex is gateway sex to having the women start touching each other and from there it is just a slippery slope :lol: Welcome to the club. You are still doing something that the huge majority of the people can't even talk about, let alone experience.

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We talked about venturing into the lifestyle 10plus years ago and did as must research as we could. The first swingers club was just watching and we ended up going into a room, shut the door and just played with each other. 
 

  Same thing with our second time. It was more dancing, drinking, we liked the care free atmosphere. 
 

 It turns out our plinko chip ended up

landing in the hot wife category and we

find it hard to fit into a “swingers” party. 
 

  One house party we frequent has a Color bracelet system of just looking, soft swap, full swap, and I think anything goes. 
 

I like the idea but wish there was a hot wife couple  “he likes to watch and that’s it” I know you can’t have to many different colors but when a couple approaches us to swap and we explain “our thing” makes it tough. 
 

  She did end up hooking up with a single guy The last time we went so it is possible to still play or get off if you don’t fit into the “normal swinger category” just be true to you. Check out different places and you will find one that you feel you fit more into then others. 

 

  

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We slowly dipped our toes in when we first started attending clubs and parties. We did a lot of voyeurism, exhibitionism and same room play at first. It was well over a year being in the Lifestyle before we were comfortable with a soft swap and only after a having a few other wonderful soft swap experiences we both decided that we were ready to do a full swap and that was probably another nine months or more.
 

But before we attend any swinger party or club we always check in with each other, go over our rules and what we’d both be comfortable with and such. And then we check in again with each other afterwards and see if we might need to change anything or if there is something we’d be okay with pursuing at a future party. And we know plenty of couples that do the same thing as you and attend clubs and parties to just watch or show off. Communication is the key and be on the same page stick to whatever rules you are both comfortable with.

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We're slowly easing into it as well. We've watched, and been watched but haven't yet full or soft swapped. I think we're working up to soft swapping, but maybe after this pandemic is over. We often talk about full swapping which we both think is extremely hot, but we're not quite ready to take the plunge just yet. As long as you find enjoyment in what you're doing together, there's always a place for you in the lifestyle!

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