When does swinging come back?

[njbm 2,871]

Obviously, no one knows. A good treatment and/or a vaccine would help. Just trying to generate some hope and positive thoughts. 

[Fundamental Law 2,885]

It's an excellent topic. One might also reasonably ask, "How does swinging come back?".  The central problem is that "social distancing", which is an oxymoron of sorts (see also "jumbo shrimp"), is inimical to intimacy generally and swinging specifically. 

 

One might guess that it will be staged. Private pools will open for the spring/summer season in North America, and we would expect couples to have couples over for bit of nude relaxation. We also expect that couples' dating will resume first with "couples (you/we) know", and maybe based on knowledge/experience of their focus on healthy habits. 

 

We think it will be a while before clubs, big boats, big houseparties and so on will return. 

 

We think the LS will also be changed a bit. Some couples in the LS will decide that "it's not worth the risks anymore". Other couples will figure out from having lost people they care about that life is indeed a lot shorter and a lot less controlled than we would like to think and say, "this is our time to explore the LS". Still others will stay in the LS but change their play patterns as a deliberate risk management strategy. 

 

We are waiting for serology testing to surface. We had an illness in January that certainly could have been Covid-19--"bad colds" but of course the virus was not thought to be in the USA at that time and there was not even a glimmer of what was happening and what would happen. 

 

More generally, we think testing for SARS-CoV-2 -- both for the virus and for the serologic response--will become commonplace, and we think/hope that LS people will see the importance of timely testing. 

 

What are your thoughts?

 

One more thing: at least you can eat a "jumbo shrimp". 

 

[cplnuswing 4,713]

I think things will happen much like Fundamental Law expects.  I actually think swinging, at least in some form, will come back fast once a tipping point is reached.  Whether that happens one week, one month, six months, or a year after the peak crisis from a strictly pandemic point of view, hard to tell.  At some point though, there will be be mass movement to the new normal mindset.  I don't think that's unique to swinging either, the trend will track the same way on a lot of other things that are part of people's lives.  Whether that's wise or not, or can even be supported by the facts and data, I wouldn't want to guess that, but at some point, it will happen.  What the trigger will be isn't predictable either, but it likely won't be a result of any official announcement by any medical expert or public figure.  Instead, it will just be a shift in the zeitgist to a "well that sucked, but time to move on."

 

I agree testing will play a big role in all of this.  When it comes to swinging specifically, I suspect it will be similar to STD testing.  For some it's a nonnegotiable necessity, for others, they don't give it a second thought.

[Alura 2,774]

Just a guess: When a vaccine for Coronavirus is developed.

[PeterJ 948]

2 hours ago, Alura said:

Just a guess: When a vaccine for Coronavirus is developed.

Developed and widely deployed.

 

Being in the lifestyle has added a lot to my life. But I’m in my early 70s and while I have no other co-morbidity factors, the risk factor of my age alone is such that even when the current wave of infection subsides I will be less cavalier about engaging in activities that come with significant exposure to infection — cold, the flu, as well as Covid-19 — than I was until now. Most likely I won’t be having sex with anyone other than my wife until there is a vaccine and it’s been widely deployed.

[enhancer 1,585]

If people are waiting for a vaccine to be developed and available expect to be waiting at least 18 months!

[Sunday 119]

I dunno, I think once people are told it's safe enough to hangout shoulder-to-shoulder in a crowded bar -- or jam into a crowded train - and they do so without repercussions, swingers clubs and parties will come back instantaneously.  And right well they should. 

 

Let's not ignore the fact that the VAST majority of us will not get the coronavirus.

 

I fully expect a second wave of COVID-19 this fall but once there is a vaccine, everything - and I mean everything, will return to as close as to normal as can/should reasonably be.

 

I think the lessons learned here will actually make swinging safer.  People conscious of more hand washing/touching their face and the reduction of casual handshaking will lower the instances of the common cold and routine flu by 60 percent.  We'll all be healthier, so let's get laid!

 

???

[a_d_xxx 663]

I think this is a complicated subject, we don't have all the information, and none of us have gone through anything like this before - so trying to foretell the future is hard.

 

But I take the writings of those who have gone through other wide spread social upheavals to heart when they say that things will never get back to normal - at least if we define normal as the way things were - the way we were - before this started. Sure things will become less restrictive, and less anxious, but the emotional and social scars of this (literally) global event will be with us all forever.

 

I won't be surprised to see a huge uptick in folks struggling with agoraphobia and social anxiety when this is all over, you cannot go through several months of actively avoiding (and being worried by) being in close proximity to others and not have that leave a lasting mark.

 

We're all struggling with grief over the loss of our regular routines, our plans, our excitement for the future, but when this period of physical distancing ends, I expect we'll all struggle with the inherent changes that brings too (It'll just be traumatic in different ways - restaurants, bars, and clubs that couldn't survive; people who are no longer here, or the same; feelings of guilt or residual fear).

 

Some folks may jump into the fray as if to try to reclaim what was lost, or make up for lost time, but I suspect that many of those will suffer aftershocks of anxiety, guilt, and fear that they are not expecting. Some may never be able to let go of the fear that being around others is an existential danger at all.

 

I don't know. 

 

I do know, that regardless, we need to be kind to ourselves, and to each other. This is big, and scary, and the future is uncertain. 

 

Stay safe all.

 

D

[lovefest04 699]

Much to my wife's disgust, things swinging in this house haven't subsided at all. ? Sorry, but I gotta get naked in the spring.

[EastInWest 1,524]

On 4/13/2020 at 9:12 PM, Sunday said:

I dunno, I think once people are told it's safe enough to hangout shoulder-to-shoulder in a crowded bar -- or jam into a crowded train - and they do so without repercussions, swingers clubs and parties will come back instantaneously.  And right well they should.

 

Sadly, I don't expect that we're going to be told that's safe anytime soon.

 

The good news is that once this has largely been swept out of our communities through the shutdowns, it should stay at a low level with ongoing new practices. People may not be congregating in large numbers in close settings, but I'm sure the interest in small gatherings will be higher. I also suspect more people are going to be interested in finding new outlets for fun altogether, and that might include a new wave of interest in group sex from the vanilla crowd.

[njbm 2,871]

Unfortunately for swinging, I think this pandemic will lead to more fear and suspicion about exchanging bodily fluids with strangers. Forget about genital STIs, kissing can lead to illness. But if there is a vaccine, it could all be forgotten. 

[Fundamental Law 2,885]

While humans have remarkably short memories (anyone remember the Australia fires? precisely how the impeachment trial ended in the Senate? ) they can change behaviors and those changes take about 6 months to stick. 

 

For anyone who watches the annual cycle at the local fitness center, it's absolutely reproducible.

 

Starting Thanksgiving and peaking the second day of work after New Year's ("wow--gained a few pounds over the holiday, didn't you Bob?") the "resolution people" turn up at the fitness center like the swallows returning to San Juan Capistrano. By the Ides of March, half are gone. By Memorial Day, 90% are gone and those who have stuck it out will be regulars more or less forever unless some strong force (illness, a move, job loss) interferes. 

 

We are only about 5 weeks into intense social distancing so there's still a high likelihood of reverting to the old ways. But the longer we are under imposed social distancing, the more likely it is that new behaviors will stick as social norms. 

[Fundamental Law 2,885]

6 minutes ago, njbm said:

 Forget about genital STIs, kissing can lead to illness. But if there is a vaccine, it could all be forgotten. 

There are two powerful truths here.

 

1. People are terrified of even routine vanilla social contact. A single cough or sneeze (and this is pollen season) draws unwanted attention. Getting past that alone is going to require a fundamental change in risk perception and management. If a handshake is perceived as risky, and a simple hug riskier, where does that leave 'ordinary' lifestyle contact?

 

2. At some point people will realize that a vaccine against SARS-CoV-2 (and that will be a while) does not address the "unknown unknown" next pathogen. That might be suppressed, but I do not think it will be forgotten unless we get to an HIV situation where the infection itself can be reliably managed so that no one dies and it is no more than a 'bad cold'.  

 

[padoc 1,703]

For us, we'll start again once the country gets back up and running and we're fairly confident that Wuhan has run its course and the worst is over. We intend to be tested for the antibodies in hopes of determining whether we're immune. Neither of us have been sick since late February.  We've always been very careful who we play with and will likely limit ourselves initially to couples who we trust implicitly and intimately. Until there is some kind of herd immunity, a vaccine or  pretty solid evidence that the danger has largely passed I doubt swingers clubs or large M&G's will be able to operate successfully so for the time being, we'll still be very careful about proximity and large groups. This is the first time since we started swinging in 2003 that we've gone more than 2 months without lifestyle activity of any kind.  While we have an active, playful and satisfying love life at home, we're both missing the variety and the eroticism of getting naked and sharing with friends. 

[EastInWest 1,524]

1 hour ago, njbm said:

Unfortunately for swinging, I think this pandemic will lead to more fear and suspicion about exchanging bodily fluids with strangers. Forget about genital STIs, kissing can lead to illness. But if there is a vaccine, it could all be forgotten. 

Yes, but.

 

The drive to do something exciting only gets more powerful when people are stressed and bored, and It won't be long before we're no longer so worried about who has it now, and more worried about what we can do for fun without rapidly reintroducing it. 80% of what people have been doing in recent years is going to be problematic, which leaves the other 20% of things for people to get all their social and sexual energy out. 

 

Purely anecdotal, but we both put up Tinder accounts with faceless pictures. Our descriptions are clear that we're a happy couple and just being social to stave off boredom. Turns out, so is everybody else. The 100-mile radius is flooded with married couples and stressed-out nurses who need an outlet to sext and swap nudes because they can't go out and flirt anymore.

[Guest]

lol. Breaking all the rules here. Just got humped in the kitchen and my lover and I are sitting looking at this blog and watching some of our home movies. My husband is fucking in his wife in the bedroom and if Glen can get hard again, I'm going to make him eat me and if he's a good boy...he can stick his pretty cock in my butt! We haven't stopped swinging but, to be fair Glen and his wife are retired and at home, and my husband and I work from home. 

 

 

[Numex 2,416]

We're working from home and only swapping with one other couple in our group.  All the couples in our group have paired off with the other couple closest by.