Ghosting

[RickandLinda 5]

Seriously peeps....explain why the need to ghost someone?  We met another couple, had dinner a couple times, seemed to have lots in common, enjoyed each other’s company, exchanged lots of emails and texts...seemed to really be a blossoming friendship. Honestly, I don’t know how far it would have gone because after making tentative plans they just disappeared. Gone. Poof. No more emails/texts.  They are still in the LS it seems.  Its really too bad because in vanilla life, this would have been a good friendship.  I just don’t see the need to ghost. Just be upfront and honest. 

[adamgunn 1,460]

Totally agree. It's happened to us, happens to many people in this LIfeStyle.

 

It sucks.

[njbm 2,865]

Has happened to us. Obviously, one or both of them don’t like one or both of us and even though we thought things went well, we never hear from that couple again. Part of swinging. We are glad we love and like and are loyal to each other. Onward and upward!

[njbm 2,865]

Another way to look at it is that the other couple may have a problem. Illness, family problems, they may not be getting along with each other or divorcing or they could be taking a break or leaving the lifestyle. 

[4iscompany2us 25]

We have set up social first time meets and been stood up and ghosted a couple times. Really makes you step back and reevaluate yourselves.  The hardest example was a couple that introduced us into the world of bisexual play. We dated them for a number of months and enjoyed our playtime. Suddenly they seemed to move on. It would have been nice to have an email or text reply so we could at least have closure. Finally after 6 months they replied that they are just going into a vanilla relationship. True or not? At least we can now move on also.

[njbm 2,865]

We have low expectations for any of our swinging relationships lasting. Honestly, if we meet with a couple more than 3 or 4 times in a short period of time, it can be a little repetitive for us. On the other hand, if we get together with a couple we enjoy who we have not met with in a long time, it can be exciting. However, not knowing who wants to see us or why we’ve been dumped is a disappointing experience. We try not to take it too personally. 

[lcmim 1,081]

njbm, We agree about trying not to take it personally.  There are billions of people, thousands of whom we meet over a lifetime, a small fraction of whom ever become friends of any sort, so why take it personally at all?   

 

Well face it we didn't just meet at a business meeting or bowling, with no expectation of anything more. Even those we do meet vanilla on a very casual basis would most likely respond to communication with at least rudimentary civility. So why not the same standard for lifestyle acquaintances?

 

The whole concept of ghosting any but the most annoying of people with pronounced stalker vibes seems to me less than civil. It is down right rude.

 

Maybe ghosting comes to pass because those who do it lack the honesty and courage to simply say that they do not feel the chemistry necessary to proceed.  Saying that need not be mean or hurtful. How many people has any adult dated before finding their spouse? Deciding it was a "no go" is just life. That life for most of us has been filled with first dates that had no sequel.

 

We do not expect anything longer lasting on an intimate level than a time or two. We have been pleasantly surprised to be welcomed into people's

real lives on occasion.  No matter how that plays out I can not envision ever just blocking anyone out of our lives, for anything other than a serious breach