Conversations in Isolation

[findinganswers 369]

Coming up to two months working from home. Like most couples we are spending more time together we ever had before. It has given us more time to talk about everything including what brought us to swinging back a few years ago. I was the one who held back and wondered why my wife wanted to swing with our friends. I was extremely worried about our relationship and the why’s of her desires. She knew I was hesitant yet I never said the reason. I thought I wasn’t good enough and had all crazy things in my head. When I finally agreed to swinging with her friend and her husband I subconsciously didn’t want her to enjoy. The trade off was I got to be with her friend, a very attractive person who I maybe had thought of sexually before. 

From the very first time I didn’t enjoy watching. At first I was taken back that she was having an orgasm in what might have been more intense than the ones she had with me. 

Since those first times I am still not a watcher except when she is with another female. I find that an extreme turn on. 

After swinging encounters we don’t discuss specifics. I’ll ask if she had fun. I don’t ask about acts or how the sex was. I never asked The was he better question. There is no good answer to that. I don’t want her to have a bad time. The more we have done this the more I want her to enjoy, yet I’m still not a watcher. 

I think for the first time I asked her for a truthful answer to why she wanted to try this. Was she attracted to her friend’s husband. I wanted to know the why. Her answer I think is truthful. Her friend and her second husband were swingers. Her friend told her stories of the fun experiences she was having. She told me the real reason was she wanted to experience a woman and a ménage. We had watched many threesomes on line. I thought it was for me and now she said she enjoyed the thought of being in bed with a woman. She felt it would be better if I was involved too. I hope that’s true. When questioned she does enjoy the other men too, not as a replacement, more as an addition. I understand that feeling as I do enjoy the women I’ve been with. My wife said she was afraid to watch me at first and now enjoys watching me have fun. 

Our talks this month have been very open and much more detailed. I think I feel more comfortable telling her my experiences rather her telling me hers. 

 

[TricianMike 772]

After years of swinging you are first talking? We find it is important to always talk. I can’t say how you should feel watching her but if your not comfortable you should be telling her that. Honesty is the first important conversation. 

[adamgunn 1,460]

Trician, I don't think Finding was saying he and his wife don't talk; his point is that that this stupid time is leading to more investigation of their LifeStyle times together.

[TricianMike 772]

3 hours ago, adamgunn said:

Trician, I don't think Finding was saying he and his wife don't talk; his point is that that this stupid time is leading to more investigation of their LifeStyle times together.

Adam I think he did say they don’t discuss their experiences. 

 

On 5/10/2020 at 11:10 PM, findinganswers said:

After swinging encounters we don’t discuss specifics. I’ll ask if she had fun. I don’t ask about acts or how the sex was.

Mike likes to talk about everything. I make sure never to do comparisons to him, I might compare to other partners. Mike will sometimes mention size, length of time, my orgasm, even the amount of ejaculate. My comments tend to attractiveness of the other woman and her motions and techniques. The thing is we do talk after. 

[ToeDippers 83]

As others have said, communication is important. We made it a point from the beginning that we would discuss after every encounter. 

I am not a mind reader and I doubt I know everything she enjoys unless she talked about it. 

Continue talking and enjoying.