So sad he disappeared

[DNA Lady 3]

My husband and I are in a stable and loving long term marriage, and swinging for less than a year. We are on a swinger site, and since my husband has ED, I have been seeking single men with whom to have intercourse. I found a really sexy buff divorced guy and discovered he was a military health care administrator. I found another single guy earlier on the same site who was also a healthcare worker who is waiting out the Covid-19 quarantine restrictions before meeting anyone and I assumed this guy was too. So we texted hot and heavy for a week before discovering that he was more than ready to meet me as soon as possible. So we set a date for the following Wednesday and agreed we would meet in a parking lot and have a make out session in the car (I also had a bacterial infection that I needed to clear before having sex). We were both so excited by this and expressed how much we both wanted it. He had another play date set up Sunday and we talked in our cars, me on the way home from taking care of my mom for the weekend and he on his way to the date. He talked to me for the whole hour it took me to drive home, even staying on the phone with me for fifteen minutes after he had arrived at his destination to play. I was really starting to fall for this guy. Monday morning we exchanged some texts about how excited we were for Wednesday and I found a perfect parking lot and texted him the details. Then...nothing. I wasn't too concerned until I checked my phone in the middle of the night and found out he hadn't yet answered. Then I checked the site and his account had been deactivated. Panic set in and I knew that was it, I was never going to hear from him again. From the timing of the cut off of the texts from him, I'm assuming he was caught at work either texting me or looking at the sexy pictures or video I sent him. But I am having a hard time with the sudden loss of what could have been and not able to say goodbye to someone who became a dear friend. I also wonder what could have happened to him, being in the military and caught doing what he was at the base. I am lucky I have a very supportive husband who has been sympathetic with my grief. Has something like this happened to anyone else? Is his career in the military over because of what happened? 

[njbm 2,871]

Swinging connections are very temporary. I can’t tell you how you are supposed to feel, but the general idea in this hobby is that the sex is recreational. You are not supposed to fall for people, develop romantic attachment or become bitterly disappointed if there is no round two. 
 

I don’t think that the guy was fired or court martialed, I think he just did not want to meet with you again. He could have cancelled in a more courteous manner, but who knows what his situation was. Maybe his wife caught him. Flaking out is a common issue in swinging. Hope your future swinging goes up from here. Hard as it is, don’t take it personally. Sounds like the guy got busted. 

[Idahocouple6969 294]

I agree it's supposed to be recreational. We have made some great friends... with benefits. We also like to go to a club and play with just about anyone who is game. We enjoyed fucking other people but we like to end the night making love to each other ?

[Idahocouple6969 294]

I guess I should add that I doubt he got busted using government Wi-Fi simply because they are programmed to reject anything to do with sex.  I was searching for a specific type of water/oil resistant o-ring. And guess what popped up? Hahaha it closed the search and reported me. 

[cplnuswing 4,713]

I'm sorry this happened to you, I know it's got to feel bad as much as you were looking forward to it.

 

The sad truth is there are a lot more people that want to play swinger than be swinger.  For these two, from what they expressed themselves to be, i.e. single guys, then some would say they aren't even swingers at all, just single guys.  Same holds true though, all they may be been looking for right now was some flirting from a distance, and then when things started to get real, poof, having gotten what they wanted out of the deal, they are gone.  Same holds true if it was a married guy just claiming to be single.  He felt pretty safe and was having fun, and then when shit started to get real and visions of divorce settlements starting dancing in his head, then he puled the plug.

 

It sucks, but disappoint in some form or another is a big part of the Lifestyle.  When you hit it right though, it's awesome, which is a good thing, since it helps to make up for all the lows that you experienced getting to that high.

[NC_Seniors 518]

Having trouble reconciling your two posts in different forums.  Why was your husband trying to hook up with a woman at a swing club if he suffers from ED ... ???