Would you want to swing single?

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Ok, so right now you are part of a couple. But what if something happened? What if you got divorced/ split up or (god forbid) your partner died. Would you want to continue to swing as a single?

 

Would it be something you might maintain and interest in but would prefer to find a new partner to enjoy it with? Would you continue to swing as a single? Or would you drop the idea of swinging altogether?

[RnLinohio 17]

I think i would swing as a single, but as of right now we are only looking for females mainly because i have no desire to be with another man................ and after i am single, if i still have those feelings, then i would have to say i might swing, but it would be mainly with females.

 

Robin

[OhioCouple 40]

I voted for other as I don't really seem to fit in any of the other catagories. I would most likely do so in terms of sex with no commitments or just to mingle with like minded people. Should our relationship terminate for what ever reason, I would not seek another LTR, however I know that I would like to have sex every now and again, without all the hassles that go along with dating.

[EternallySingle 32]

Based on the contacts I've had in the past six months I'm drifting back to the idea that I should stick to just dating and not think about pursuing swinging. For me, its a matter of picking my battles. When my ex-gf left, I said swinging was a thing of the past and went back to meeting single women for dating. While my ex tried to set me up with some of her friends, they all said they were doing me a favor, which I didn't need. Burned some bridges, but hey...you gotta feel good about yourself first.

 

I'm sticking to dating, unless I meet a R*E*A*L*L*Y special single lady who convinces me we have more than a sexual thing going on.

 

Doesn't mean I'm going to stop telling you what you need to be doing (in my opinion, of course:D )

[Alura 2,774]

It never occured to me to try swinging when I was single, and that was a long time.

 

Certainly, if I somehow lost Mrs. Alura, swinging would be the last thing on my mind. The first: Having to raise two teenage boys without the most wonderful partner I've ever known in anything I've ever attempted.

 

I wouldn't go to the trouble. No, I wouldn't swing if I were single.

 

Mr. Alura

[Chicup 41]

I'll be honnest I have no clue why men swing single. Oddly I was thinking of this today as a 'what if' and even with a couple I have swung alone with when the wife couldn't make it, I wouldn't swing with them if single.

[sexypairca 41]

If something happened , yes I would swing as a single. If I were to ever date again I would be looking for the special someone that didn't mind a little sharing too (eventually).

 

Annette

[Roxysbayou 20]

I would definitely swing single.

 

I couldn't imagine myself any differently.

 

Roxy

[jen 16]

If something bizarre happened and I found myself suddenly part of a couple...I'd be interested in swinging.

 

I'm sure of it.

[BradAndJanet 70]

Quote

Originally posted by jen

If something bizarre happened and I found myself suddenly part of a couple...I'd be interested in swinging.

 

I'm sure of it.

Sweet jen, I truly have a hard time accepting that it would take something 'bizarre' for you become part of a couple.

 

I don't know if I would swing single or not. On the one hand, I've read some of the things about how single men are treated in the lifestyle, but on the other hand, I've also read how much 'good' single men are desired by couples.

 

However, I don't believe that I would remain single by choice and would probably spend more time and effort wooing another woman than I would on attempting to swing. I was never happy single and I wouldn't expect that to be any different now.

 

Anyway, goddess willing, it's not something I need to worry about, as long as J renews my contract every August!

[froggyjenn80 15]

Being a female it is easier to be welcomed as a single swinger than if I was a male. I think that knowing the ins and outs of swinging would help with if I was single.

 

Now I wouldnt just jump into it right after I lost my husband to whatever happened (knock on wood it never happens) But with time, the comfort of that part of my past would come back and I would want it to be part of me again.

 

So yes, swinging single is definately an option.

~Jenn

[Brit_Pair 62]

No, I can't imagine wanting to continue swinging as a single. It's always been something we've done together to enhance our sex lives, not our social lives, so I wouldn't keep playing to remain within a circle of people. And if I wanted recreational sex as a single, I'd seek out similarly disposed single females.

[matt1935 15]

My answer to swinging as a single is this.My partner(wife) passed a few years back and we had a great relationship and many friends in the lifestyle. I have tried to enter back into the lifestyle as a single male and contacts are almost impossible. The possibility of finding a single female to join with is as difficult.

 

The dating scene becomes a long process of meeting people and almost having to have a semi commitment for physical contact..which I am not willing to do..So I am still searching for answers.

[Avantgarden38 18]

I would not swing as a single, but might try to find a female partner to swing together.

 

The Mrs. on the other hand, would swing single with the right couple. I think she is waiting for me to kick the bucket, just to have that opportunity available to her. I suspect she would be dating a few couples willing to spoil her a little. . . .

[Elusive BiFem 70]

The question asked was, "would you want to swing as a single" and I guess I'd have to answer yes.

 

For me, interest in swinging has waxed and waned over time much like phases. I've never been interested in finding a male partner to swing with me as a "couple" primarily because swinging was something secondary to everything else in my life and not something that I wanted to experience on an everyday and on-going basis. Also, I've been very specific (or selective, if you will) in terms of the couples I have involved myself with since, for me, the idea of swinging was about more than just the sexual aspects.

 

If I had it to do over again, would I? Yes. Enjoyed it and learned a lot about others and myself.

Will I continue? I don't know that I'll continue as an active participant, but I remain interested in the lifestyle and those interested in it. As I've said before, I've made some really great friends in this lifestyle, and if nothing else, that has been worth a pot of gold to me. (Well...almost. Change that to a pot of silver! After all, I'm unemployed presently.)

- EBF

[Stephen 15]

My partner has stopped swinging due to disinterest in the scene, unfortunately we met too many cples who didn't light her fire.

 

I however love recreational sex. Swinging for us was always part joint fun and sometimes one to one fun, we're not a glued to the hip at a party cple.

 

Playing solo is much more horny, but I do get messed around and am very wary of disrespectful cples who see a single guy as a poor substitute for the real thing- cple swapping.

 

Why do guys like me do it? For me, I love the sexual performance aspect, I have good stamina for a 44 y.o, and it panders to my vanity when a woman shows obvious appreciation of my vwe status. Plus I do love the company of women with an up front pervy imagination.

 

Finding another playmate (with my partners approval) via dating, is always going to run the risk of emotional complications.

[jen 16]

Originally posted by BradAndJanet

Sweet jen, -B

 

They said sweet jen, I love when they say sweet jen!

 

Thanks BnJ you rock.

 

The- bizarre - of it would be in me wanting to be part of a true relationship, actually. Seems like I always think I want that, until it knocks at my door. Then, somehow, I become certain it isn't anything near what I want. Or something.

 

Look, I learned how to spell bizarre. See, I can be taught.

 

[HotMoCpl 20]

We've agreed on one point. At our age, if something should happen to the other, (the word divorce does not exist in our relationship) widow/widower, the other is then allowed all the wild abandon sex without the concent of the other.

[Chemistry_0518 20]

Nope, neither of us believes that we would even seriously consider putting in the effort involved in swinging single. It would not be worth it. We are receiving pleasure not from the activity alone, but from the fact that we are doing it with each other. Remove that from the equation and then the question arises "why deal with the hassles?"

[adventureUS2 25]

I think swinging with out my S/O would not be half the rush it is now. I would not persue swinging but if I were to find myself in a situation were a couple invited me into their bedroom I would not say no.

[ALilOEverything 901]

I would swing single, I think it would be lot of fun. It wouldn't be nearly as much fun as having my husband with me though, there are some elements of sharing my spouse I would greatly miss.

[intuition897 2,179]

Sure! We both love the idea of swinging. And if we ever found ourselves single again (which I can't imagine, but for the sake of hypothesizing...) we would definitely engage in it. Everybody gets horny now and then, and personally I love the idea that I could help a couple in their relationship together the way swinging has positively affected my relationship with Mr. intuition.

[Atilla 16]

hmmm, I don't think I would.

 

Reason why? I need a partner, I'm one of those people who depends on her spouse. So therefore, I would concentrate my efforts on finding myself another partner first and then if swinging came back into the picture, I'd be game.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

This is one of those questions that is easier said than done. When I went from married to single, I tried playing as a single and I did a couple of times, but in the end I just didn't like being a single female in the lifestyle - mainly I didn't like how people just fall all over you and when they discover you are bi, it's worse than being a bi female half of a couple and the way that many bi-women assume that if you are bi, you WILL play with them.... it's that times 3 when you are single. Then as a single you also don't have anyone to fall back on or rely on for comfort or safety.

[good times 991]

When I answered this poll originally I said that I would, now I am pretty sure I wouldn't want to swing if I were single.

[two4youinswva 3,068]

It's hard to know without being in the situation, but I don't think I would.

 

If someone requested me as a 3rd for a night of fun, I would probably be willing to join in. But to actively pursue the lifestyle? Not as likely.

[havefuninsun 122]

Part of what I like about swinging is it is an "us" activity -- something that turns us on together. I highly doubt I'd ever play as a single.

[MRSfun 152]

We have had the difficult talk about if, and when, one of us passes on.

 

Yes, we will stay in the lifestyle as a single.

[The Fuse 1,012]

Wow... If Mr. Fuse were somehow just not there anymore, putting aside the implications of that... I would *love* the idea of swinging single. Not too many women float my boat, but occasionally it does happen, and I would love to swing with couples if I liked both halves. I would love that freedom of being able to have fun and NSA sex with people I liked, without having to think about a future with them.

 

Of course, I'm sure that the reality of swinging as a single female would often not live up to the apparent advantages.

 

But I bet it's a LOT of fun sometimes.

[Tia Vampire 167]

I think that I could swing as a single female with no problem. Back after me and my husband divorced, I booty called for two years. I would usually pick up a guy in the club every weekend or every other weekend. Plus I think that swinging at a house party would be safer than picking up some random guy from a bar that could do anything to you while you are together.

[sweet_tna 680]

If someting happened to Mr. Sweet, I'd have WAY too much on my mind (like rasing two kids on my own) to care all that much about swinging, or sex in general.

 

Once I got to the point of being ready to "get back in the game", if a couple I knew and trusted invited me to join them, I might consider it. But to swing solo . . . I doubt it.

 

=)

[NumbskullsX2 24]

I would have NO desire to swing as a single female. It's true I like sex, but I also like the company of men too much to be just a booty call. I would probly do what my single friends do, which is have a small group of maybe 3 to 5 people that I could call whenever I wanted some company for the evening. I'm sure I could find one or 2 that would take me to a club if I still wanted to do that, but I doubt I would.

[des1re06 200]

Yes, if something happened to our spouses.

[cubnamy1995 124]

If anything ever happened to Amy, I don't even think I could ever have sex again. And coming from a man, that is something. She is my soulmate, and I just don't think I could enjoy that kind of intimacy again if she were gone.

 

No, I would not swing single.

[cocpl2007 170]

Several years ago this opportunity actually happened. While I would have, without any hesitation, answered this poll Yes I would continue. That did not happen. There was no doubt in my mind that I would continue to swing.

 

I did not swing.

 

Mrs Co would not continue if we were no longer a couple.

[avid 134]

I could see myself playing single if I could stay within the group we already play with. They are the best bunch of solid people, and I wouldn't hesitate to stay with them. I know they would have the utmost respect for me.

 

That being said, I think it would take a lot of courage to play single, and I'd have to fight the loneliness.

[personal416 71]

Since it can be a chore to sort out the good single males, I'd feel sorry for single males entering the mix after being much better accepted previously as part of a couple.

[9innorfolk 15]

Since it can be a chore to sort out the good single males, I'd feel sorry for single males entering the mix after being much better accepted previously as part of a couple.

Exactly. I know how a single male is viewed. So unless I already had a particular group that was familiar with me and would understand my situation, the answer would probably be no, but not by choice. I recognize the difficulty in trying to do it single so I'd rather find someone first, just to make the atmosphere easier.

[LFM2 1,482]

If something happened to Dave (god forbid) I could probably swing single after a few years of recovery. Depends on how old I am. If I'm 80, I think I'd just pass on the whole swinging thing.

[Alura 2,774]

It never occured to me to try swinging when I was single, and that was a long time.

 

Certainly, if I somehow lost Mrs. Alura, swinging would be the last thing on my mind. The first: Having to raise two teenage boys without the most wonderful partner I've ever known in anything I've ever attempted.

 

I wouldn't go to the trouble. No, I wouldn't swing if I were single.

 

Mr. Alura

 

I posted the above five years before Laura's death. She's been gone four years now. I wouldn't change a word.

 

Alura

[CalendarGirl 148]

I posted the above five years before Laura's death. She's been gone four years now. I wouldn't change a word.

 

Alura

 

 

Laura was a lucky woman and you were an even luckier man. Hugs and Kisses to you Mr. Alura.

[Alura 2,774]

 

Laura was a lucky woman and you were an even luckier man.

 

You don't know how accurate you are, Calendar Girl.

 

Hugs and Kisses to you Mr. Alura.

 

How's your plumbing holding up?

 

Alura

[sunbuckus 3,567]

Ok, so right now you are part of a couple. But what if something happened? What if you got divorced/ split up or (god forbid) your partner died. Would you want to continue to swing as a single?

 

Would it be something you might maintain and interest in but would prefer to find a new partner to enjoy it with? Would you continue to swing as a single? Or would you drop the idea of swinging altogether?

 

I don't know...I don't think I could imagine swinging without Mr. Sun right now. I know we did just a little bit of one-on-one dating just to try it but there's something about swinging as a couple--a partners in crime feeling--that swinging as a single can't give. In fantasy, it could be fun as a single female in the LS but in the end you don't have someone to share those good times with. Someone to be nervous with. Someone to laugh with during the silly swinging moments. Someone to walk hand in hand with as you two go home after a night out whether you played or not. Real life terms: given that I would have time to heal, time to make sense of the chaos that would ensue, time to juggle working and parenting on my own, maybe it would be fun to let loose and relax but I am not sure I have the right personality to go out swinging with strangers. And swinging as a single with swingers we knew as a couple might be too emotionally painful. Most likely, it would take several many years to put myself into a place where dating one-on-one is on the radar, choose someone that is open to swinging, and go in that direction.

[angelkin 1,326]

I posted the above five years before Laura's death. She's been gone four years now. I wouldn't change a word.

 

Alura

 

I started reading this older thread from the beginning and my heart skipped a beat when I read your original post knowing that Laura has left this world. What a lovely man you are, Alura:) Thank you for being here to lend your kindness and wisdom to us all.

[Alura 2,774]

I'm humbled, Angelkin. Thank you.

 

Alura

[JFunston 18]

I would like to swing as a single however, single men swinging are considered by most as a cheating husband. - J

 

I would like to swing as a single - single women swingers I've heard are called "unicorns" because they are rare. Mrs. J

[km34 672]

Hmm.. I doubt I would swing as a single. Maybe if I had another single friend to go with (either male or female), but I wouldn't really be comfortable going into swinging situations by myself. I like to have at least one person I know I'm interested in just in case no one else strikes my fancy. I have met a few people solo, but it's always for dinner or something with no expectations and hubby is always nearby just in case so I don't really find it comparable.

 

I'll have to ask hubby when he gets home. I honestly don't know what he'd do.

[angelkin 1,326]

I would SOOOOO swing single and sometimes get a hall pass to do so - I've just never come upon the right situation to use it. God forbid, but if something were to happen to my husband, I would still swing. I really enjoy couples and playing the unicorn when given the chance.

[Fours Company 169]

I would have to go against the majority response here and say I would not continue in the LS if I found myself suddenly single.

 

First of all there is the fact that swinging is a shared activity and something we do for the both of us. Her enjoyment of the LS is just as important as mine, sometimes more. It would be not be the same if we were to swing separately either while we're together now or if one of us were no longer there.

 

Second is the fact as a woman, Mrs. Fours has been more responsible for our successes in the LS than I. It is just the way of things that the female half will usually not be for wanting in the LS and make most of the "acquisitions" and her absence, combined with my social shortcomings, would severely limit my successes as a single male almost to the point of being frustratingly impossible I will admit.

 

Single males in the LS have always been an odd bird to me and while I suppose they serve their purpose to some, I would concentrate more on getting a single female in the vanilla sense with long-term goals in mind and suppose it's because having been married so long, the security of a relationship is more important than endless sexual encounters as an unattached male.

 

I figure there might always be the opportunity again for the LS, if and when I formed another relationship depending on the woman's openness, even if it took several years as it had with my current marriage.

 

Mrs. Fours is of similar mind and would never continue without me despite a much greater chance as a single female.

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

I recently used a hall pass to go to a swing club alone. I met some lovely new people and had fun with and without clothing. A week later, M. and I were on the Freedom cruise, where we met some lovely new people and had fun with and without clothing. The first experience really was fun and I don't want to downplay that, but the second was orders of magnitude hotter because M. was there.

 

So, yeah, I'd swing as a single and I know I'd enjoy myself, but it's a qualitatively different experience.