Mating in privacy...why is that the norm?

[Fundamental Law 2,885]

Interesting news item as to why vanilla folks -- and even some LS folks--prefer to mate in private.

 

https://phys.org/news/2020-08-humans-private.html

 

The explanation is a bit of a "just so" story, and one wonders whether the norm of "behind closed doors" is social, cultural, or biological. 

 

Do you prefer same room play? Playing in public for the risk of being caught? Playing in public for the thrill of being watched? 

 

The LS is many things, but rarely the vanilla norm. 

 

Here's the link to full scientific report. 

 

https://royalsocietypublishing.org/doi/10.1098/rspb.2020.1330

 

[Shore2Please 611]

Since our introduction to swinging I have opened up to a more public sex experience, something that almost stopped me at the start. 

I have posted that our first experience was a swap of mates. Having sex with a new partner in private was an unforgettable experience. Not taking anything away from the great sex I have with my husband, a new partner, a man I just met was both terrifying and indescribable in a slut way. In private I was being the deep seated sexual person I wanted to be. I didn’t care what anyone was going to think, I wanted to be satisfied first and satisfying the partner I was with was secondary. Behind closed doors he was the perfect partner and the night was everything I hoped it would be. He told me it was great and I at the time felt he was truthful. 

Same person, now in a public setting, with my husband watching with the other wife acted in a totally different manner. What was erotic now became raw. What was tender now became hard and dominating. What was a shared experience was now me being used as a receptacle for his sexual release. I didn’t complain at the time and my discomfort of the scene was not picked up by my husband. The lover was now being a showman. 

I have since become more comfortable with public sex, the same partner is now more fun in public, no longer trying to show his manliness to others. He has become my favorite person, other than my husband, to have sex with. His wife is the only woman I have become comfortable playing with. Even with her, I still enjoy private play versus putting on a display for the men. Private or public, I still would chose private with one person. 

[couplers 4,641]

From the phys.org article, "Ben Mocha concludes his paper by introducing a theory of his own—he believes that the reason humans (and babblers) began looking for privacy during sex was because the male wanted to prevent other males from seeing his female partner in a state of arousal. Such a state, he suggests, would likely have encouraged other males to attempt to mate with her."  The problem with that theory is that even in sexually liberal time and sexually liberal societies, females want privacy as much or more than the males - see the post immediately above.  One would think if it were a male control thing, women would want to be in public and mate with other men.  That is the theory behind women being much more noisy verbally during sex, to broadcast her receptive state to other males.

 

It may go along with the question that has stuck with me: why do humans make a big deal about excreting in private?  We like to eat together.  Why not big rooms with plenty of toilets, conversation, and ventilation?  Does it all have to do with exposing our genitals?  From a personal perspective, I've noticed that when hiking with family members and close friends, both the men and the women have no reservations about peeing in front of others, but taking a dump is private.

[TricianMike 772]

8 hours ago, couplers said:

Why not big rooms with plenty of toilets, conversation, and ventilation? 

Most likely that was the norm many many years ago. The Roman’s had communal toilets, I attached a picture from Pompeii. 

I enjoy my privacy in the toilet, my alone time. It is strange that Americans who are usually much more private about nudity compared to Europeans, have less privacy in public toilets. We have toilets with doors that only partially block the view, small doors, with sides that allow others to see, while many other countries have private water closets. 

Urinating and  defecating are the most natural thing all living animals do. Why do we hide when doing it is a good question. Maybe we defecate privately due to the stink. Mike has told me about men’s rooms that still have communal urinals. 

Back to the original post, sex in the open has become less of a problem for us. Maybe it is the excitement of maybe getting caught. 

[njbm 2,871]

The undergraduate college adjacent to my law school had some bathroom stalls with no doors. So if someone was on the bowl, there was no front door. My roommate commented “I don’t want to see the Dean pinching a loaf” and went on to imitate him grimacing and squeezing his fists. Somethings are best left a mystery. 

[adamgunn 1,460]

"The undergraduate college adjacent to my law school had some bathroom stalls with no doors."

 

I was an enlisted guy on an Aircraft Carrier. The college bathroom sounds really luxurious . . .

[twohots4u2 188]

Same room play, always!   That keeps it a "together" thing and lessens the threat of jealousy.

[Numex 2,416]

In short, we like both for various reasons.  Much of our play currently is when the mood and opportunity arises, spur of the moment, so we will get together MF or the wives FF.  We also have rotating MFMs and FFMs because, well, someone has to watch the kids.