Starting out

[cassoroll 0]

My wife is bi and I am straight, as far as I know. She has no interest in being involved with other men and neither do I but she wants to be with other women. Is it fair for me to be with other women as well or given our situation that I cant meet all of her needs sexually being a man should I just allow her to experience women while I don't. I know this is a very personal decision for the two of us but I just feel selfish for thinking maybe I can be with other women as well. We just had the talk two days ago and I'm starting to get a picture of what she wants that I can't provide and I realize its not a shortfall in our relationship necessarily it's just because I'm a man and she wants women also. I'm trying to wrap my head around all of this still so I'm sorry if I'm not making sense. Maybe if you guys could give me a few insights of what options we have or what they would look like because as far as I know I don't know any swingers to help me get a picture.

[cplnluv1 872]

Your situation is not exactly like what ours was, we were looking for a woman for me to play with too. I had been with other women before I was married and Alan missed out ever being part of those days. 

We searched on many sites for that Unicorn and never found one. We considered hiring a someone and didn’t feel right about it. 

Our original plan was for me to be with a woman and him just watch. I didn’t have a need for a woman, it was more for him to watch. We eventually chose a couple and it led to more of a full swap. 

After our failed search we decided to help couples who couldn’t find what they were looking for. Many couples like us were liking for women to be with the wife. I never went to a couple alone, Alan was always there. Most of the time the husband watch at first and then join in. 

[couplers 4,640]

18 hours ago, cassoroll said:

she wants to be with other women. Is it fair for me to be with other women as well

No need to complicate things.  To start out just give you wife the gift of enjoying her Lesbian side while you enjoy the stories she brings home to you and the smell of pussy on her breath.  My husband let me keep screwing my ex-fiancé for a couple of years before I was comfortable letting him be with other women.  Be generous and your reward will come. 

[lovefest04 699]

couplers is spot on.

 

Why complicate things. Work through the ideas and actions of her with another woman or women, see how that feels, let her enjoy, support her.

 

Then let it organically grow or not.

 

If it was me, I'd want to hear all about her encounters, whatever she wanted to share, but no more, no pressure. Over time she may entertain other fantasies built on her experiences with another woman AND how you support and respect her.

 

Have fun, sounds delicious.

[cassoroll 0]

Can i ask what the best way to go about finding my wife a partner would be? Should we get a sitter and both go to a party? Should she go alone? or should we try and get her a partner outside of a party since I wont be very involved anyway and she doesn't want to be a show piece. She wants to be alone which is fine she has body image issues and doesn't get off to the idea of being watched. 

[njbm 2,871]

Sign up for a swinger site that has profiles. SLS, SDC, AFF, Swingers’ Zone, Kasidie. 
Your wife can post a hot date or equivalent for another woman.

Be careful if Covid is prevalent in your area. You want a long swinging career. 

[lovefest04 699]

All of your questions need to be answered by the two of you. Is she comfortable going to a gay bar and picking up a lady, without you, or does she want you around for protection and support? Are you going to participate? If not and she's comfortable prowling alone, let her go out.

 

I suggest you figure out exactly what SHE wants, is comfortable with and that will help determine your plan of attack.

[Idahocouple6969 294]

Sounds like the two of you need to do a LOT more talking. For us this is a team sport. If you both are not getting what you both want out of this adventure, it's not gonna end well. Feeding nervous and excited are okay but reluctant is not okay for either one of you.  

 

The number one rule of swinging is communication.  

[couplers 4,640]

I preferred to get involved with women I already knew and had a sense of what they were like.  So my area of exploration was friends and acquaintances.  In normal times of long ago that was at the gym, girls who I ran and cycled with, church (more than you would think), those I knew through the theater and classical concerts/jazz performances, a regular circle that hung out at the coffee shop, professional (but not directly work) colleagues. 

[JessicaJamison 861]

Five years ago my husband asked me to be a hotwife, he wanted me to be the sexy slutty wife that fucks around when ever she wants.  He got off on knowing I love sex, and just wanted to fuck.  In this case you get to be the hotHUSBAND, since she is bi she enjoys watching women have sex and wants them to have sex with you, and maybe she intends to join, I don't know the rules you arranged.  Or maybe she wants the rush of being with a woman but wants you to feel a part of it.  I am also bi and being with a woman is completely different from being with a guy.  I'd give her the experience, it may evolve later too, my husband and I now do full swaps and we have a couple that this year we have been pretty polyamorous with due to covid and wanting to stay safe.  Have fun.