Newfoundintrest 1 Posted October 12, 2020 Hi all, Wife and I went to our first swingers club event a while back. We played with another couple. But the wrong one for what we both wanted and all because I was picky (for lack of a better description) about the guy. The night was ok, the swap was good for me but not for wife. Since then we haven't been able to fulfill any of our fantasies and I fear, my silly mistake has cost us our pleasure in the lifestyle. Please help as I'm not sure how to rectify it. Wife wants to experience a lady to lady play and have two guys at the same time. And I'm not sure how to give it to her Quote Share this post Link to post
adamgunn 1,460 Posted October 12, 2020 I really don't understand. In your first experience, you had a good time, but your wife didn't. That didn't turn your wife off, she wants to keep exploring. So what, exactly, is your problem? Quote Share this post Link to post
discreetplay 235 Posted October 12, 2020 I'm with adamgunn, I don't understand what exactly the issue is. You're not sure how to rectify what? Your post is so vague I don't understand what the problem is. Quote Share this post Link to post
hkdilbert 182 Posted October 12, 2020 Doesn't seem that hard to me as long as there is good communication. Have you tried talking about what went well and what did not? If so then simply make whatever changes you think appropriate to fix the things that did not go according to expectations and go for the next round. Repeat this each time and you should converge on a solution that is great for both of you. 2 Quote Share this post Link to post
GoldCoCouple 4,065 Posted October 12, 2020 Yes, talk with her and come up with ways to keep from repeating the same mistake. If everyone quit something the first time they failed...we would still be living in caves. 2 Quote Share this post Link to post
njbm 2,871 Posted October 12, 2020 Move forward! You learn from every experience. Sometimes one of us has a good time, the other doesn’t. And vice versa. We are happy for each other. There are no guarantees. To hit the target, don’t aim at the target. Be more Zen and let things happen. If they don’t happen, don’t force it. Go home and do your wife. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post
Idahocouple6969 294 Posted October 12, 2020 35 minutes ago, njbm said: Move forward! You learn from every experience. Sometimes one of us has a good time, the other doesn’t. And vice versa. We are happy for each other. There are no guarantees. To hit the target, don’t aim at the target. Be more Zen and let things happen. If they don’t happen, don’t force it. Go home and do your wife. Yeah pretty much everything above. Communication is key. Although I have to add. You being picky about her choice (s) is wrong. Let her run things. You might be surprised how much fun you could have. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post
GoldCoCouple 4,065 Posted October 14, 2020 We always tell new comers to go with NO expectations other than having a sexy fun night out with your partner...and anything else is a bonus. Trying to force something to happen when it isn't 'right' is usually going to lead to disappointment. Just let whatever happens, happen, even if it is nothing that night. Quote Share this post Link to post