Performance Issues while at Swinging parties

[PNW_Mr_Tom 0]

I having a pretty big issue lately. My wife are some what new to swinging and have been going now about 8 months. We have gone to several parties and met some great people. We enjoy the parties very much.

 

The issue we have is that I have been having problems performing in front of others. When we are alone I can keep a erection but once someone walks in its really hard for me. (Even when I take Viagra). My wife has been great and when others want to play she leaves the room to give me some less stress and sometimes it helps and sometimes it doesn't.

 

Some of my friends say that its because I have a strong love for my wife that is preventing me from playing. I have done some 1:1 play with others and it works fine, it just seems in this public showings it is really hard for me. Not sure if I am just a private guy or what.

 

I see other guys having no issues, but they are all single guys and not attached to anyone. Man I wish I could perform like them just once. I would love to have any advice anyone could share with me. Thank you in advance!

 

 

[lcmim 1,086]

Where is your true focus when with another?

I  never lose track of my marriage, but when playing with another I try to maintain the boundaries of my universe at the edge of the bed.

[Fitlakecouple 451]

Separate play may help with your focus (if the other couple is on board) or try having your wife get you hard if the erection is flagging. Alternatively, have an mfm threesome or two to get used to the idea of having sex in front of someone other than your wife. This super common when you start out.

[hunterdonNJcpl 1,423]

it's just nerves and they will subside as you get more accustomed to these situations.

[njbm 2,901]

What if you tried a soft swing threesome with your wife and another woman? Less pressure to perform, your wife is there for comfort and familiarity. Baby steps. 

 

My wife and I often like people to watch us. But I can be easily derailed by noise and talking.  
 

Last year, we were in a huge play room on a swinger’s cruise where people were grunting like elephants and neither myself nor the other husband could maintain an erection, so I can relate. 

 

Your difficulty is a common one. I think experience and Viagra will prevail in your favor. 

[SW_PA_Couple 4,026]

Don't go too fast. Don't just leap up and declare, "sorry, it ain't workin'." Almost all women are well aware of the many different reasons for gaining and maintaining an erection or for not gaining an erection and can perform a course correction, if given a chance. And you'll become better with experience. 

[Numex 2,459]

My little bits of advice:

Don't drink, not even a little. 

Don't have sex at least 24 hours beforehand. 

Engage in non-penetrative play (oral, hand jobs, etc.).

If she's willing, have her put a lubed finger in your ass.