Do they know?

[hunterdonNJcpl 1,423]

So some casual vanilla aquaintances have been persistent about getting together so we agreed to have a drink with them. They are a couple. Recent empty nesters like us and were sort of insistent about getting together at our place.

Ok, but this has us both thinking: Did they see our swinger profile online and are they feeling us out?  Did they choose our place because, although we blur faces, we have a lot of photos in our photo galleries that clearly show our kitchen and living room and that would help confirm their suspicions?

Does this stuff go through everyone else's mind all the time too?

[njbm 2,901]

Did the other couple make a move? Think back, might’ve been subtle. 

We had a couple over our house. We played with them years ago, but frankly we didn’t feel sexually compatible. We expressed that to them super subtly and did not play with them again after the first couple of times. But we belong to the same club and remain friends. 
 

We could not get them to shut up, call it a night and go home. We later figured out that they were hoping we would invite them for extracurricular activities. Nothing happened. 

[njbm 2,901]

2 hours ago, hunterdonNJcpl said:

So some casual vanilla aquaintances have been persistent about getting together so we agreed to have a drink with them. They are a couple. Recent empty nesters like us and were sort of insistent about getting together at our place.

Ok, but this has us both thinking: Did they see our swinger profile online and are they feeling us out?  Did they choose our place because, although we blur faces, we have a lot of photos in our photo galleries that clearly show our kitchen and living room and that would help confirm their suspicions?

Does this stuff go through everyone else's mind all the time too?

Do you want to play with that couple?

[hunterdonNJcpl 1,423]

16 minutes ago, njbm said:

Did the other couple make a move? Think back, might’ve been subtle. 
 

...We could not get them to shut up, call it a night and go home. We later figured out that they were hoping we would invite them for extracurricular activities. Nothing happened. 

I can be dense sometimes. My wife is better at picking up on this stuff but I don't remember any overt gestures from them.

 

Quote

Do you want to play with that couple?

I think we don't.  But I have thought that before and been wrong.  We sort of have a rule where playmates should live about 1 hour away and this couple is much closer. 
And God we hate when people talk and talk til the wee hours and don't know when to go home so we hope that doesn't happen.

[hunterdonNJcpl 1,423]

Update: they are apparently just a normal vanilla couple who want to get to know us better. No overt gestures were made.

This is just another example of the thought process of swingers. Every time some one seems friendly and wants to hang out we're always like "Do they know?"

[GoldCoCouple 4,068]

It's funny that once you get the mindset that it's okay to imagine the options with others, that we too often think that they are in the same mindset. Most of the time being friendly just means that they want to be friends.

[lovefest04 701]

Healthy paranoia.

[couplers 4,718]

23 hours ago, njbm said:

Do you want to play with that couple?

That indeed is always the question.  Years ago, when I was on the look out for women for hubby and I to play with, if the answer was "yes" I would always be receptive to any advance from the girl and be moving ever so slightly in the direction of proposing for her and hubby (and potentially me) to go to bed together.

 

More recently, that is how Clair found our mutual boyfriend: by listening, evaluating, accepting advances, and making subtle propositions to a wife she met among the group of moms at our kids' school.  

[JessicaJamison 864]

On 10/22/2020 at 2:45 PM, hunterdonNJcpl said:

So some casual vanilla aquaintances have been persistent about getting together so we agreed to have a drink with them. They are a couple. Recent empty nesters like us and were sort of insistent about getting together at our place.

Ok, but this has us both thinking: Did they see our swinger profile online and are they feeling us out?  Did they choose our place because, although we blur faces, we have a lot of photos in our photo galleries that clearly show our kitchen and living room and that would help confirm their suspicions?

Does this stuff go through everyone else's mind all the time too?

Wow, paranoid much.  Who cares.  Think about it, what happens if they find out its you?  You are adults, there are no laws against swinging much to the Christian Rights frustration.  If they saw you on a swing site then why were they on the swing site?  Im sure they weren't scouring it to catch unsuspecting swingers and expose them.  If they are they are shitty friends to have.  If they saw you on the site they are probably considering swinging, so they may want to ask questions or maybe wanna swap with you.  The answer is either yes or no and fully in your power.  If its a yes have fun, if its a no tell them you don't wanna hurt your friendship by mixing sex in.  But let's not forget they could wanna meet for literally any other reason under the sun.  Which is probably more likely.  Treat it as a normal get together till its not.  

[hunterdonNJcpl 1,423]

11 hours ago, JessicaJamison said:

Wow, paranoid much.  Who cares.

I would describe the feeling as about 50% excitement and 50% paranoia lol.  And yes, people like to meet for any other reason under the sun, but as swingers we always wonder if sex is one of them! And that's a feeling only those in this forum would understand.  Vanilla couples never have this thought process.

[JessicaJamison 864]

35 minutes ago, hunterdonNJcpl said:

I would describe the feeling as about 50% excitement and 50% paranoia lol.  And yes, people like to meet for any other reason under the sun, but as swingers we always wonder if sex is one of them! And that's a feeling only those in this forum would understand.  Vanilla couples never have this thought process.

I grew up around a lot of sex and a little rough so I tend to not care what others think.  I am sure I am an outlier in this.  I think its important to demystify the end result, which is why I say whats the worst that could happen.  Good luck I hope they wanna swing with you.  

[Idahocouple6969 294]

We play the game "do they know or do you think they would?" LoL. But we never cross the line between our vanilla friends and our swinger friends. We live in a rural area, in an ultra conservative state. That has some of the most restrictive arcane laws concerning sex. Here sodomy and infidelity laws are still on the books. And enforced. Explains why we have no LS clubs, they're outlawd.

 

[couplers 4,718]

8 minutes ago, Idahocouple6969 said:

Here sodomy and infidelity laws are still on the books. And enforced.

Wow.  I was under the impression that the US Supreme Court invalidated sodomy laws in the Lawrence v. Texas decision.  Although usually enforced against homosexuals, straight people can and do perform all of those same acts, oral and anal, as well so I expect it would apply to straight sex as well.

 

Adultery laws are indeed still on the books in some states.  The Supreme Court hasn't ruled on whether those laws are unconstitutional but the 9th Circuit, which includes Idaho, has so ruled.

 

But if the laws are still on the books the authorities can still enforce them, arguing that somehow this case is different, and cause a lot of headache and expense for the defendants.

[GoldCoCouple 4,068]

Quote

We play the game "do they know or do you think they would?"

We play that same game.

[Idahocouple6969 294]

1 hour ago, couplers said:

Wow.  I was under the impression that the US Supreme Court invalidated sodomy laws in the Lawrence v. Texas decision.  Although usually enforced against homosexuals, straight people can and do perform all of those same acts, oral and anal, as well so I expect it would apply to straight sex as well.

 

Adultery laws are indeed still on the books in some states.  The Supreme Court hasn't ruled on whether those laws are unconstitutional but the 9th Circuit, which includes Idaho, has so ruled.

 

But if the laws are still on the books the authorities can still enforce them, arguing that somehow this case is different, and cause a lot of headache and expense for the defendants.

Oh believe me they are strongly enforced. The charges never stick and are usually thrown out.... but not before the local media publishes every last detail and names. Idaho legislation is primarily LDS. And we have a saying here: if you go fishing you have to take 2 Mormons with you because if you take just one he is gonna drink all your beer.

 

You can always tell their profiles on SLS: they live in Idaho but their respective spouse "doesn't" swing. Plus they can't host and they are willing to travel. We rarely use the same venue for a meet and greet twice in a row. And we make sure that they think we are a group that works together. No one is EVER invited to well.... anything unless you have been vetted 1st. The Idaho ag office spent millions trying to overturn same sex marriages. Most counties won't issue license anyway. Remember this is the state that an oz of weed or hemp gets you an automatic 20 year prison sentence and a $50,000 fine.

[couplers 4,718]

On 11/23/2020 at 12:12 PM, Idahocouple6969 said:

Idaho legislation is primarily LDS.

And "Famous Potatoes."  It's right on the license plates.