Trying to find a third

[guest283 2]

My husband and I have been talking about finding a woman to join us but we don't know where it how to find this person. Any advice would be very appreciated.

[couplers 4,409]

Meet women in real life, start with friends and acquaintances.  It's important to listen and just let a woman talk; and I made sure they met my husband. It was more than just "met," if there was a connection we would "date" her together, take her to dinner and the theater, even go on trips/vacations together, get her a separate room. We always paid for it all. There was never any expectations or pressure. But I would leave her alone with him or let them do things together. He wouldn't hit on her, but she got the sense that I was good with it and wasn't jealous. The sex between hubby and me after a date with a woman was explosive.

 

Subsequently, whenever she would turn the conversation to sex, I would continue to listen more than talk, but said things that solicited opinions about hubby (most said I was lucky to "catch" him), say that hubby and I were open about our past sex life, let her know that I was an unjealous person. When she would say that he was attractive, I would agree and say that he was the best lover I ever had. Then, if it got to that point, when she implied that she found him attractive, I would say that hubby told me he finds you attractive too. The final step was her saying it would be nice to try him; I would say, "That can be arranged." That was the pattern, and it worked if it got that far. It was also a huge power trip for me to go home and tell hubby, "I've arranged for you to have sex with Amy."

 

Single women like married men because some other woman already has him.  More took me up on it than I expected, but only some were good letting me watch, at least the first time, but most who fucked hubby eventually did and let me get involved too.  Fewer were interested in being lezzie with me.

 

There was never any pressure, and regardless of how it turned out there were never any regrets by anyone. (Some women were overly concerned about how I felt afterwards. They didn't know that they were doing me a favor.) We are still friends with those we are in contact with, including two who are married. One husband definitely knows about his wife and my husband, and is cool with it.

[bbarnsworth 2,597]

Welcome Tammycraw!

 

Listen to couplers! She's got the experience of someone who did make it work.

 

Also understand; you are looking for something that is unusual. Not impossible, but unusual. Many couples first get into the lifestyle looking for the mythical 'unicorn'; a woman available and willing to do a threesome with a married couple where she plays with both the husband and the wife. I know you didn't express the sexuality of such a woman, whether she would be playing only with you, only with your husband, or both. If you're looking for both, that can be hard to find. Again, not impossible; just hard.

 

Most interactions in swinging are two couples together. That said, there are also plenty of pleasures to be had in a threesome with another man. My wife and I have enjoyed many such threesomes, and have never had a bad time. Some were outstanding. If this sounds like it might be interesting to you, run it past your husband. Many husbands actively enjoy watching their wives have sex with other men. I know I do; it's a great thrill!

 

Keep asking us questions! We're happy to help!

[couplers 4,409]

32 minutes ago, bbarnsworth said:

Many couples first get into the lifestyle looking for the mythical 'unicorn'; a woman available and willing to do a threesome with a married couple ... Again, not impossible; just hard.

Surprisingly, I/we did not find it to be all that hard, perhaps for several reasons.  We were young, in our mid-twenties (as were the other women) when this was happening; we had fun "dating" these women regardless of the outcome, so there was no stress for anyone; somehow I was able to pick up and increase the tendency for women wanting to have what another woman had - a married man; we let her choose how the sexual encounters went, and as mentioned many wanted just one-on-ones with hubby, which we respected but some women were open to expanding; finally, we were generous, taking them out or even on vacations and always paying.

[njbm 2,815]

Put a profile on SLS, SDC, etc.  Go to meet and greets, hotel parties, etc. I would say between 1 and 10% of the population swings. Go to where the swingers are. You will be wasting your time with 90-99% of the general public. 

[GoldCoCouple 4,052]

There's a reason that single women wanting to play are called 'unicorns'...finding one is just about as easy as finding a unicorn. Some people have had great luck, but I think that on the whole, most have not. It helps if you are young, as previously stated. Otherwise the best way is to find whatever swingers site has the most locals for your area and sign up (most couples won't respond to an email from someone who isn't a member, most single women already have too many requests). Then start searching. When you do find one, make sure that you send them a very polite email that lets them know you actually READ their profile and are asking if they might be interested in the two of you. Make sure that you have a well written profile and good photos (G rated are just fine here, NEVER SEND A DICK PIX, EVER!) so she can see if there is any interest on her part. Then it's just a matter of time and numbers, but understand it will NOT be easy or quick. Good luck and let us know how you do.

[MS1999 38]

I agree with most of what has been said above.  We've had a few experiences with single women.  For us, in each case it started with a legitimate attraction and friendship.  Our first was actually with a vanilla friend who knew we were sexual and she simply asked if we would be open to it. It was wonderful.  So, my advice pertinent to this discussion is to be politely open about your sexuality and opportunities will arise 

 

The other times have been with women we met through an adult dating site.  Each time, it was after a couple weeks of chatting back and forth, getting to know each other, and seeing there was mutual attraction, affection and a safe feeling.  SO, here, my advice would be not to rush things.  Single women have tons and tons of choices... its really helps if you legitimately like each other and can connect non sexually as well.  At least that is what we've found 

[couplers 4,409]

On 10/24/2020 at 6:27 PM, bbarnsworth said:

Many husbands actively enjoy watching their wives have sex with other men.

As well as at least some wives actively enjoy watching their husbands have sex with other women.  And since most women, in my estimation, have Lesbian tendencies there is that possibility as an attraction as well.

[Alura 2,771]

Laura and I found that two couples were able to create combinations to fulfill out fantasies. When we had threesomes, it was with are usual with our play-couple while a spouse was out of town. "When a spouse is away, the spice will play." -Mrs. Alura

[cplnuswing 4,712]

4 minutes ago, Alura said:

Laura and I found that two couples were able to create combinations to fulfill out fantasies. When we had threesomes, it was with are usual with our play-couple while a spouse was out of town.

Same here.  We found the best way to have a threesome is to have a good solid foursome who are all comfortable with each other.