How much of the thrill is having sex with someone's SO?

[Anon321 522]

I'm wondering how much of the thrill or excitement of swinging comes from the idea of fucking another person's SO?  I would imagine that this would differ for everyone but I'm curious to hear people's thoughts.

 

As a guy having had sex with other men's SOs I don't really think about it very much.  I enjoy the idea of being with another woman but I couldn't care less if they were single or in a relationship.

 

On the other hand, we have come across many (some are even my closest friends) who really get off on the idea of having sex with my GF because she is my GF.  That's not to say they wouldn't fuck her if she wasn't my GF (they would) but it is a turn on for them.  The idea of dominating her or fucking her harder than I do is clearly something that turns them on.  It's very obvious from the way that they treat her and the things they say.  Even when I'm not around my GF says that with some guys my name comes up during like "does he fuck you this hard" "what would he think if he saw you like this" and a lot more perverted stuff I won't get into.  Sometimes they will say these things to me in a MFM session.  For us, it doesn't bother us.  Actually both of us like it.

 

There was one guy who kept calling my GF my wife and we kept correcting him but we think he liked the idea or fantasy of fucking someone else's wife so he kept saying it.  It's similar to roleplaying scenarios.  My GF roleplayed with an older guy who pretended she was his daughter's friend the entire time.

 

I'm wondering how much thrill or excitement you all get from this?  I think we can mostly agree that we all get some sort of thrill and gratification from the idea of sharing our SOs with other people but how many get a thrill from the idea of fucking someone else's SO?

[bbarnsworth 2,637]

I can imagine it's a bit of a fantasy thing for some people. For me, I'm like you; that the woman in question is married or not doesn't make much of a difference to how attractive I find her.

[couplers 4,639]

2 hours ago, Anon321 said:

how much of the thrill or excitement of swinging comes from the idea of fucking another person's SO?

For me it's more the other way around, it turns me on that some other women is having sex with my husband or boyfriend.  Or to a lesser degree, that a man or another woman is having sex with Clair or Lora.  I've posted many times that jealousy has never gone away for me, but now it is my friend; my addiction.

[adamgunn 1,460]

The idea of my (or her) temporary partner is in a relationship isn't a big part of it for us. We do enjoy foursomes, quite a bit, but it's not the relationship status, it's the idea of four interested and willing partners having fun.

 

When my wife has a gentleman friend, with or without me present, the only issue is jealousy on the part of his SO, should there be one. If there's a possibility of his wife being hurt, we won't go through with it. 

[Anon321 522]

Interesting answers.  I think it works sometimes on both sides - someone is excited by fucking someone's SO and someone is exciting by their SO fucking someone else.  But it seems to be the latter is more common on here.

 

It obviously all depends on the person and situation.  I think if you're swapping the idea of fucking someone's SO is less exciting because it feels more acceptable and common.  Whereas if your SO just fucked someone else or someone joined you in a threesome perhaps it becomes more taboo.  Also in a swap you are more or less "trading" your SO, whereas in the other scenario they are taking your SO and not giving anything in return.  Perhaps that is why in a swap the idea of fucking someone's SO doesn't turn me on.

 

I think I can wrap my head around the thrill some of the people who have had sex with GF, especially some of my closest friends feel having sex with her knowing we are in a relationship.  It works in other scenarios too.  My GF is very actually active with her boss and there is clearly an exciting taboo aspect to it that drives them both wild.  I don't think it's entirely different.

[findinganswers 369]

For me the big thrill was having sex with my wife’s friend. I wasn’t thinking about her husband or how he was enjoying. My wife set it up for us which was perplexing at first. I always thought her friend attractive and getting the blessings was almost too exciting. 

[couplers 4,639]

4 hours ago, Anon321 said:

they are taking your SO and not giving anything in return.

Another aspect for me, at least in the beginning, is that the man who would become my husband let me have sex with someone else.  That someone else didn't take me, I was allowed to take him.  It made me feel powerful and confident that I could fuck another guy and was loved all the same.

[Anon321 522]

31 minutes ago, couplers said:

Another aspect for me, at least in the beginning, is that the man who would become my husband let me have sex with someone else.  That someone else didn't take me, I was allowed to take him.  It made me feel powerful and confident that I could fuck another guy and was loved all the same.

I understand what you're saying but I was referring to the person who you are fucking.  In your mind you are allowed to take him but in his mind he is allowed to take you.  So from his perception the taboo or fetish (or whatever you want to call it) of it might be different.

[hunterdonNJcpl 1,389]

There is definitely something very appealing about having sex with a married woman.

It's all very appealing really.  And for us the bonds of matrimony are a big part of the turn on.

[Sunday 119]

On 11/6/2020 at 5:10 PM, Anon321 said:

I'm wondering how much of the thrill or excitement of swinging comes from the idea of fucking another person's SO?  I would imagine that this would differ for everyone but I'm curious to hear people's thoughts.

 

As a guy having had sex with other men's SOs I don't really think about it very much.  I enjoy the idea of being with another woman but I couldn't care less if they were single or in a relationship.

 

On the other hand, we have come across many (some are even my closest friends) who really get off on the idea of having sex with my GF because she is my GF.  That's not to say they wouldn't fuck her if she wasn't my GF (they would) but it is a turn on for them.  The idea of dominating her or fucking her harder than I do is clearly something that turns them on.  It's very obvious from the way that they treat her and the things they say.  Even when I'm not around my GF says that with some guys my name comes up during like "does he fuck you this hard" "what would he think if he saw you like this" and a lot more perverted stuff I won't get into.  Sometimes they will say these things to me in a MFM session.  For us, it doesn't bother us.  Actually both of us like it.

 

There was one guy who kept calling my GF my wife and we kept correcting him but we think he liked the idea or fantasy of fucking someone else's wife so he kept saying it.  It's similar to roleplaying scenarios.  My GF roleplayed with an older guy who pretended she was his daughter's friend the entire time.

 

I'm wondering how much thrill or excitement you all get from this?  I think we can mostly agree that we all get some sort of thrill and gratification from the idea of sharing our SOs with other people but how many get a thrill from the idea of fucking someone else's SO?

Definitely NOT a thing for me.  As a matter of fact, IMO it's a real turn-off.  The turn-on, is that we're here each a sexual athlete in our own right and playing at a high level - experiencing the team-sport of sexual exploration together.  If I sensed jealousy by the man or an attempt-to-humiliate by the woman, it'd be a game killer. 

 

Not into that shit.

 

The thrill is what made sex as a single person so much fun but condensed down to a few hours as opposed to several months.  Seeing someone that you're attracted to, the meeting of the eyes, the reciprocation of attraction, heavy flirting, leading to the first touch, first kiss.... getting naked and having amazing sex. 

 

The night needs nothing else and for me, it's hard to imagine anything that is more thrilling or fun to do on a date night/night out.

 

 

[njbm 2,871]

I like Sunday’s sentiments. I don’t want to humiliate anyone. Just in it for hedonistic fun. 

[NoAngels 334]

I don’t even think of the other guy or even look to see if he is enjoying watching me. I don’t think of him if he is with my wife, I do think of her having a good time. 

[GoNatural 104]

I've enjoyed having sex with someone's spouse for the thrill of breaking the social taboo.  I grew up in a home that was both very traditional and religious.  So, doing naughty things became even more thrilling.

[couplers 4,639]

18 hours ago, hunterdonNJcpl said:

There is definitely something very appealing about having sex with a married woman.

It's all very appealing really.  And for us the bonds of matrimony are a big part of the turn on.

Strangely, when I first started having sex with Frank he was into the fact that I (and Lora and Clair) are mothers who had babies pass that way.  Doesn't turn me on, but doesn't bother me either, so I occasionally bring it up as he starts to really get going.

[Playman64 205]

Kim & I really enjoyed swapping with a new couple, so that we both experienced a new sex partner.  I really liked seeing Kim brought back to

me with cum in her pussy hair or running down her thighs. The same way I would take the wife back to her husband. I very seldom cleaned her, but I sure enjoyed the sloppy seconds. 

[Anon321 522]

On 11/13/2020 at 1:32 PM, couplers said:

Strangely, when I first started having sex with Frank he was into the fact that I (and Lora and Clair) are mothers who had babies pass that way.  Doesn't turn me on, but doesn't bother me either, so I occasionally bring it up as he starts to really get going.

Exactly.  That's another type of turn on for some people - fucking a MILF.  That's why I can see why fucking someone else's SO is a somewhat similar idea.  I don't think it's really that strange.

[couplers 4,639]

On 11/16/2020 at 8:51 AM, Anon321 said:

Exactly.  That's another type of turn on for some people - fucking a MILF.  That's why I can see why fucking someone else's SO is a somewhat similar idea.  I don't think it's really that strange.

I suppose; I forgot about the whole MILF thing.  Frank has also said that having had a babies is a sign of fertility that turns him on (although we both know that I'm on birth control), and that him thinking about how I had my kids vaginally shows I am using my body for what it was designed for.  Both in and out, I guess.

[JessicaJamison 861]

I never really thought about this being a thing, so it could be that its more of a guy thing.  I like being with another person, man or woman.  With the exception of one pair of close friends we swap with often I don't even think about the wife, and I only think about her because I have a sexual relationship with her also.  I generally just think about how good it feels when he is inside of me.  I just enjoy sex and enjoy men.  I do get a significant amount of arousal from the fact that I have a husband, and that he's not the man I'm currently fucking.  But thats my own affair fantasies at play.  To be clear my husband knows I fuck around and I have a very open hall pass, I'm not actually cheating I just like to imagine it that way.  I guess what I'm saying is I like fucking other people because they are not mine, not because they are someone else's.  

[Anon321 522]

3 hours ago, JessicaJamison said:

I do get a significant amount of arousal from the fact that I have a husband, and that he's not the man I'm currently fucking.

That's not really that different than someone getting off on the idea of fucking someone else's SO.  But I do think you're right that it is probably much more prevalent with men than women.

[Numex 2,416]

On 11/18/2020 at 10:10 AM, JessicaJamison said:

I don't even think about the wife, and I only think about her

Before we met, Daniela had relationships with lots of married men because they were married and liked to have them talk about their wives.  She's the kind of person who likes to sample off of other people's plates at a restaurant. 

Edited July 23, 2021 by Numex

[couplers 4,639]

On 11/18/2020 at 10:10 AM, JessicaJamison said:

I do get a significant amount of arousal from the fact that I have a husband, and that he's not the man I'm currently fucking.

 

On 11/18/2020 at 1:34 PM, Anon321 said:

That's not really that different than someone getting off on the idea of fucking someone else's SO.  But I do think you're right that it is probably much more prevalent with men than women.

It's prevalent with this woman - not only do I get aroused both from hubby doing it with Clair or Lora and when I'm doing it with Red or Frank, but it also turns me on when Clair and Lora are having sex and I feel left out.  A different kind of jealous turn on, but a turn on nonetheless.